I received a bill for my anatomy scan that my insurance should’ve covered but it was only “partially approved” which I’ve never heard of. I’m hoping it’s a mistake bc I’m unemployed. The documents stated it wasn’t medically necessary. And of course it’s Saturday so I have anxiety already and can’t call until Monday. I’m also concerned bc they set up a second anatomy scan for Tuesday so I don’t want double the bill.
@lmn823 I got a bill from my insurance concerning my daughter with similar. Who are these insurance people who think they have the right to determine what is and isn’t essential? Anyways, I plan to call at some point but I passed it off to DH for him to deal with it. I will step in if he doesn’t. I hope you can get it straight with them.
DH got home yesterday. He brought home dinner and helped me bathe the kids. Then he let me sleep in this morning and told me I should go out for a few hours today and go shopping. Umm, yes please! The only child who hasn’t fallen sick is my youngest. At this point I have to assume he is fine and isn’t going to get sick. I’m suppose to volunteer at church this Sunday but I’m kinda hesitant to have my kids around other kids right now. I would like to ride out a week with no illnesses.
@lmn823 my insurance liked to tell me that my maternal care is "100% covered!!!" but then in the fine print they note that that doesn't include ultrasounds, diagnostic blood work, or the actual delivery. So the routine blood panel at 12 weeks, the dating scan, the coagulation testing my OB ordered because my cousin has Factor V Leiden and we suspect my grandmother did too (she died in 1986 after an unexpected clot and obviously no testing was done at that point) so she would want to know that before a likely C-section...all that is just subject to 80/20 co-pays and regular deductible stuff. So cool, my OB office visits are covered I guess? (Except of course that they bill the ultrasound as an office visit so I get the copay for that plus then the copay on the ultrasound procedure itself.)
Call them, but prepare yourself that you likely will have to pay for it, because God forbid medical care be about what a physician deems best for their patient without some bureaucratic bullshit popping in to "ahem...we differ" about it. (This is precisely what sent my dad into retirement -- he got so tired of insurance dictating what he could or couldn't do for the patients he spent 35 years caring for. He could tell you their childhood pet's name, but not prescribe a procedure or medicine without being told whether or not it was "necessary" by someone in an office 1500 miles away. Sorry, will hop off my soapbox now.)
@emeraldcity603 bless your husband! You earned a morning off and then some. Mine is due back tomorrow and best believe I will be finding an excuse to go out by myself sometimes this week. And I only have one and we didn't have a puke parade this week! Good luck with church tomorrow, if you do wind up volunteering (or even if you don't, wishing you healthy thoughts for the week ahead).
I’m so tired. DS had soccer this morning then a bday party to attend this afternoon. He spent almost 3.5 hours continuously playing at an indoor playground. I nearly had to drag him out. My spring break is coming to an end and long weekends or breaks always make me feel sort of antsy because I want to accomplish so much more than I can. I’m torn between much needed projects/housework, doing fun family outings, and sitting at home, relaxing. We did a lot of doctor’s appointments, car maintenance, spring cleaning, got a few baby things checked off the list. If the weather was nicer, I’d take a spontaneous day drive tomorrow, but the most realistic thing that’ll happen, if any, is a park.
@ki1244 and @tumbleweed-1 My day was very nice. However, I went to 4 stores and only bought myself something from the last one. I just bought my kids stuff. 🤦🏻♀️ I got the errands I needed to do for my daughter’s party mostly done and Easter stuff bought. By the time I got home I was tired and just needed to rest. This week’s lack of sleep has been so difficult. This has been one of the hardest weeks I have had as a mother.
@emeraldcity603 I hope you enjoyed the shopping trip! @ki1244 yes! Insurances are awful. The amount of pre-Auths needed for things is infuriating and if they need a peer-to-peer it’s something that a provider is never even the person making the decision on the insurance end and it seems like they just decline things to see if the ordering provider will spend their time calling. It’s a broken system, for sure.
Well, as of yesterday everyone was acting normal and didn’t have symptoms. Two of my boys are having stomach issues again this morning. So I called and told them I won’t be available to volunteer. We are taking zero chances of passing this along. I don’t want to be responsible for some other poor soul suffering through what I did this last week. The crazy thing I’m still scratching my head over is that my 18 month old never got sick. I’m not complaining I’m just not understanding how he managed to not get it.
@emeraldcity603 is it possible it's something foodborne? Not sure if your toddler eats *exactly* the same meal as everyone else but my first thought when stomach stuff happens is foodborne illness (thank you nutrition class in college that never left me...).
We’ve had such a busy weekend, this has been the first time I’ve been able to sit down! We woke up to another 6inches of snow Saturday morning and once we dug ourselves out we had to drive an hour away for my grandparents 90th birthday party which was nice but it was a lot and we didn’t get home until like 7:30. Then we had church and our Sam’s club trip today and after that DS wanted to build his volcano kit so we did that too since it is finally over 40° and sunny! Now I’m just trying to rest a bit before getting the house cleaned up!
@emeraldcity603 I’m glad you enjoyed your alone time! Sorry that all this stomach crap is still hanging around!
@lmn823 we have a small clinic in our town that I went to to get my dating scan and they wouldn’t cover that ultrasound at that clinic even though it was in network and I have 100% covered prenatal care. It’s just this one clinic and after they were like “well insurance just doesn’t always cover things done here” would’ve been nice to know before I was given the option to get the ultrasound there!
DH came home today, took a nap, took a shower, and then took our daughter outside, where she only wanted to play with me chasing her while he sat on our bench at our play structure (we have a big swing/house/slide thing with a parent bench) and messed around on his phone, and then told me he'd like to plan for sex a few times this week. 😑 I finally just said "I'm tired, gonna sit down for a bit" and sort of forced him off his phone to pay attention to her. Come on man....
Now DH has fallen ill. At least it’s a fairly quick virus. I’m glad I decided to stay home from church because the boys have likely still been contagious since DH is now sick.
I’m starting to see baby movement but we still haven’t felt him from the outside because he stops whenever there’s a hand on my belly. He also stops when I pull the camera out to record it! How do they know!?😂
We had 4+ feet of snow melt in the span of the last few days and now there’s water in our basement so we had to bring up a bunch of stuff to keep it from getting wet. So now our main floor is in disarray and we have DS’s party this weekend with pretty much no time to get everything cleaned and put where it belongs…I’m stressed🙃
@justyouraveragemama oh shit that sounds like a cluster. Will it be nice enough this weekend to just stay outside (like driveway/garage) and clear a path to the bathroom if needed? Or just shove stuff into a room (and camp in the living room!) and deal with it after the weekend? I'm so sorry. That sounds so stressful.
@ki1244 it’s supposed to be kinda chilly, like 40° but at least the forecast says it won’t rain anymore! There will be around 40-50 people there (I have a large family) so there will have to be room inside too and our house isn’t very big. Kids will get pushed outside. Luckily most of the stuff needing to be moved from the basement are toys so we’ll organize those and find a place for them in DS’s room.
We have a pipe leak in our ceiling we haven't had water since Wednesday in the upstairs of our house (which is where our showers are). We've survived taking showers at the gym and giving our daughter a bath in the sink. We were supposed to have it repaired today, but we delayed it b/c homeowners insurance said they would cover it if we had an adjuster come out. We delayed it until Tuesday because it was worth it for the money. They called this morning and said they would only cover the drywall repair (which is a few hundred of the $3K bill, so not worth filing a claim). We've delayed the repair another 4 days for nothing. If you remember, our hot water heater went out for a week a month ago. I'm having some serious bad water karma for something, and I'm pregnant and just want my regular showers back
@msjaay oh no!! We had a pipe leak in our ceiling a few months back and it was not fun. We only had to wait a few hours to get water back though because we fixed the pipe ourselves, I can’t imagine going so many days without water! Hopefully once fixed this is the last of your water problems!!
@msjaay nope nope nope nope I'd be in a hotel within like 36 hours. We had a pipe leak downstairs last year and I called a few different plumbers until I found someone with next day availability. A week without water would be an absolute NO WAY. I salute your toughness.
Ugh @msjaay that sounds truly terrible. I’m so sorry. Insurance is the worst! I hope you can hang out at a friend/family member’s house this weekend for better shower experiences 🤞
This week has been mostly good for me emotionally. It’s honestly pretty impressive. I don’t even think I cried yesterday. but today I’ve been very sad. I started looking into the costs of the surgeries, NICU, etc that we MAY face if this baby survives. And I realized that even our best case scenario, which includes those things, is going to be so incredibly tough to handle emotionally, financially, logistically. I watched an intro video to the NICU we’d potentially use (unless we’re transferred elsewhere for birth) and I just sobbed looking at those sweet little babies and their machines. How am I going to do this? I am praying so desperately that I get to be a NICU mom and CHD survivor mom, and not a bereaved mom. But even if those prayers are answered, it just seems so heavy and dark. I feel like I’m at a loss today. I guess I’m just asking for your continued prayers. I know that this scenario is tough and heavy for anyone reading about it, and it’s so important to me to not clog this space with my pain. But today I’m really feeling it and I appreciate you letting me let it out.
@ccmrc143 Please don’t worry about clogging this space with your pain. That’s what this space is for. I’m sorry you’re feeling so much pain right now. I will continue to pray for y’all.
@ccmrc143 There is no such thing as clogging this space. You're living the thing we all fear, and you're doing it with an incredible grace, balancing transparency with a ridiculous sense of empathy (like good ridiculous). Those machines in the NICU? Yeah it's weird to see them on a baby, but man, what a blessing they are to the kids who get to live because of them.
I love love love a Christian historian named Ray VanderLaan. I routinely listen to his lectures from like 20 years ago because they have so much incredible insight in them still today. His focus is putting the Christian Bible in its original context, so he's studied a LOT with Jewish rabbis, and his teaching is very colored by Judaism. In one lecture, he talks about how a rabbi friend of his told him once "You Christians get weak answers because you pray weak prayers." And digging into it, honestly, he's right -- how many of the "God please bless XY person" or even "God, if you want, would you heal XY" kind of prayers do we pray? Yes, God's will be done, but this is also the God who was so heartbroken on Good Friday he turned the whole sky dark and shook the entire earth. He created us with feelings and emotions and he's not afraid of them! It's totally possible to trust him and his good plans for us while also being honest about where our hearts are. And as Ray says in that lecture: "What sort of monster prays a weenie prayer for healing for their own child? You don't hem and haw over that. You scream and cry and beg 'GOD, HEAL MY BABY!!!!' There are plenty of Psalms written from a place of heartbreak and God inspired those. He knows our hearts. Why do we think we need to hedge with him?" That's absolutely transformed the way I pray, personally. I don't have to couch my feelings in the "right" kind of prayers. And at the same time, I know that his answers will be what's in his best plan, which my feeble little mind can't even grasp, and whatever it is, he will equip me for it. I think the "God will never give you something you can't handle" line is complete crap, because we cannot handle jack on our own, BUT God also promises to provide what is needed to bring about his will. So all that to say: I'm praying the big prayers, and I think you are too, but you can also be assured that he's not going to ask something of you and then be like "Welp, good luck!" It will be hard. It may seem impossible. But he will provide what you need.
@ki1244 wow thank you so very much for sharing that. It couldn’t have come at a better time because I found myself saying, well, I guess I’m supposed to just pray for sanity and peace in order to accept God’s will in this situation, instead of begging him to do exactly what I want him to do. It partly stems from self-doubt and feeling like I’m not a good enough person to deserve a miracle. But the good part is that this isn’t about me, it’s about my baby and he most certainly deserves to live a happy and healthy life. So I can pray fervently for that, and I will. I really appreciate that perspective 🙏❤️
@ccmrc143 I personally witnessed a medical miracle this past year. My BIL nearly died. He bled out and coded several times and at one point he had gone with so little oxygen that he was turning blue. The doctors came out and asked if my in-laws and husband wanted them to keep going and of course they said yes. The doctors said he would likely be brain dead. I prayed on my knees for an hour while they were working in him. So many people prayed for him that day. The power of prayer is real. Especially when you have many people people praying for the same thing. Do you attend church? Have you asked their prayer team to pray? Now that I think of it, I will make a request for you to be added to my church’s prayer list. @ki1244 that was beautifully said. Thank you for sharing that.
@ccmrc143 at the risk of being preachy...there is not a person alive who *deserves* a miracle, which is what makes God's mercy and grace so amazing. He doesn't have to do anything. We're sinners, we choose to break his commands alllllllllll the time, and we haven't earned a dang thing. But having faith like a child, as Jesus said to have, means we can ask anything without it offending him. My daughter asks me for M&Ms every morning at breakfast and I don't think it even crosses her mind why. It's what she wants, she knows it may or may not happen, but she knows I can grant it. I might say no (usually) because it's what's better for her, even though it makes her mad. But I might say yes, too, and so she asks without wondering if she's earned them or if it will bother me or couching it in "Mama, if it's your will, please may I have a crumb of an M&M" when actually she wants the whole package (and I know that as well as she does). And if Jesus invited and encouraged that kind of faith, I think it's up to us to take him up on it. A kid's life is worth way more than an M&M.
God also knows our hearts so I believe he knows you want his will to be done -- you pray that every day in an Our Father, and wanting that AND something big doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. Asking for the miracle doesn't mean you don't believe he will do what's best, whatever the outcome. So I'd say pray for both! That's what Jesus did at Gethsemane -- asked for the miracle, BUT ALSO acceptance of whatever the answer is, and that's our model to follow, right? And frankly sanity and peace about this might be the bigger miracle than this little guy's heart, or at least it would be for me.
@ki1244 omg, my child also asks for m&ms every morning. I applaud his audacity 😂 I do often let him have mini ones on plain plain yogurt- I figure it’s the same (or maybe even less) sugar than buying him a sweet, flavored kids yogurt.
@tumbleweed-1 I used to sprinkle some mini ones on overnight oats or plain yogurt...but then realized she was picking those out, eating them, and not touching anything else, and then eating like a lumberjack at lunch (meaning I would have to get up 4,179 times to refill whatever she asked for next, and then run out of fruit). Soooooo now she occasionally gets 2-3 mini ones to go with her egg or Cheerios or whatever, and she actually eats like a normal person at both meals now. I figure on preschool days she usually has a cookie or fruit snacks or something like that for snack anyway (celebrating a classmate's birthday, or just not exactly the healthiest snack selections) so on one of the other three days, a couple mini ones are fine and she gets SO HAPPY over like 9 total calories it's worth it. But I still don't do it unless she asks.
@emeraldcity603 adding it to the prayer list for your church’s prayer team is a wonderful idea, I never would’ve thought of that! @ccmrc143 I’ll have my church be pestering for you guys too❤️❤️
@ki1244 DS has been playing his cards right since Easter with the candy. I’ve developed a snickers obsession over the last week so multiple times he has walked over with a snickers at like 8am and is like “want one mom?” Well don’t mind if I do! And if I get candy so does he, especially since it’s his candy😂
@ccmrc143 never feel like you're clogging up this space with heaviness. This board doesn't only exist for the happy and positive updates. We're here for it all and I hope you feel comfortable continuing to share if it all helps for you to have a safe space to do so
@ki1244 I think the thought of being in a hotel for a week with my toddler and 8 month old puppy sounds so much worse than not having water upstairs good news is that it doesn't appear to be the shower, so we got our showers in yesterday at the gym and were able to use ours today. Thankfully, because we just got home from a friend get together and my daughter was up to her elbows in dirt with my friend's son. I was literally scrubbing it out of her scalp with my nails. It's like she knows that water is a touchy subject around here lol.
I have had a full day of adult socialization. It’s been amazing. I hiked 3 miles this morning with some friends and then met with one of my book clubs this evening. Amazing conversation and it was so needed!
SO is at his annual hockey tournament, so it’s been solo parenting for this weekend and lately my patience is super low so I feel like I am snapping easily then apologizing trying to make up for it because I know normally these things wouldn’t irritate me so much. I am also slightly irritated with where we live, I love it most of the time but we don’t have neighbors so all play dates have to be arranged in advanced l, yesterday she would have done well with a friend to play with
@emeraldcity603@justyouraveragemama wow thank you for adding us to your prayer lists. My missions this past week was to reacquaint myself with church and so I went to confession on Wednesday and then mass this morning. We are truly blessed because we have many family members who are active prayer warriors (and who have friends who are too). My grandmother is 92 and is just about as devoted a catholic as you can get. She has been calling all these convents and monasteries and shrines with whom she and my grandfather worked over the course of their marriage. She also has a ton of friends who are very prayerful people. She told me she has a list so long of people to call that she hopes to get through it by the end of April 😭🙏😂 We are so blessed, so well supported. Thank you all so very much ❤️
@estadt solo parenting on the weekend can stir up a special kind of resentment and annoyance. I totally relate. I’m sorry it’s been a struggle. And the neighbor thing is hard too!
@tumbleweed-1@ki1244 I love the rationale with the m&ms. We have a similar experience with raisins in that if DS asks for them and gets them in his oatmeal he won’t eat the rest of it. He just picks them out. It’s annoying! So lots of time raisins “aren’t on the menu today” just so I know he will actually eat something substantial.
Speaking of church, I’m church shopping between two different options. Today at mass the priest played the electric keyboard and sang a song he personally wrote about Adam. It was like a rock n roll concert. If you know anything about the Catholic mass you will know that something like this is extremely unconventional and kind of nuts.
My other random thing this weekend is that our in laws got us a pizza steel for our anniversary. DH made bagels over the weekend and they’re so so tasty.
Also just a reminder you burn easier when pregnant, I spent the day outside since it was gorgeous for April in Ontario! 25 (Celsius don’t know what it would be) and sunny. I applied sunscreen every 2 hours but that was not enough! I am burnt and look like a lobster 🦞
@gingermama29 I do drink things on purpose to try to get him to be more active. Then once he starts I hold my hand on my uterus so I can feel it on the inside and the outside.
@gingermama29 yes!! I’m so happy to feel this baby. The kicks are so hard now that I was able to record my belly skin move! It came out of nowhere on how many times a day this baby is dancing 🤣
This baby, thank GOD, is a serious kicker. I’m already seeing the pops through my shirt at only 23 weeks. I’m so grateful. Last time my placenta was anterior and it took a while for things to get this intense. That said, I for sure do pole and flip around from side to side when I’m getting anxious @gingermama29
Today I mowed our back lawn. It’s huge and there’s a hill. It took me two separate attempts bc the battery kept dying in my mower and I was getting exhausted (it was 89 today). But I’m very proud of my “workout”
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Re: April Randoms
Call them, but prepare yourself that you likely will have to pay for it, because God forbid medical care be about what a physician deems best for their patient without some bureaucratic bullshit popping in to "ahem...we differ" about it. (This is precisely what sent my dad into retirement -- he got so tired of insurance dictating what he could or couldn't do for the patients he spent 35 years caring for. He could tell you their childhood pet's name, but not prescribe a procedure or medicine without being told whether or not it was "necessary" by someone in an office 1500 miles away. Sorry, will hop off my soapbox now.)
I’m so tired. DS had soccer this morning then a bday party to attend this afternoon. He spent almost 3.5 hours continuously playing at an indoor playground. I nearly had to drag him out. My spring break is coming to an end and long weekends or breaks always make me feel sort of antsy because I want to accomplish so much more than I can. I’m torn between much needed projects/housework, doing fun family outings, and sitting at home, relaxing. We did a lot of doctor’s appointments, car maintenance, spring cleaning, got a few baby things checked off the list. If the weather was nicer, I’d take a spontaneous day drive tomorrow, but the most realistic thing that’ll happen, if any, is a park.
@ki1244 yes! Insurances are awful. The amount of pre-Auths needed for things is infuriating and if they need a peer-to-peer it’s something that a provider is never even the person making the decision on the insurance end and it seems like they just decline things to see if the ordering provider will spend their time calling. It’s a broken system, for sure.
@emeraldcity603 I’m glad you enjoyed your alone time! Sorry that all this stomach crap is still hanging around!
@lmn823 we have a small clinic in our town that I went to to get my dating scan and they wouldn’t cover that ultrasound at that clinic even though it was in network and I have 100% covered prenatal care. It’s just this one clinic and after they were like “well insurance just doesn’t always cover things done here” would’ve been nice to know before I was given the option to get the ultrasound there!
I love love love a Christian historian named Ray VanderLaan. I routinely listen to his lectures from like 20 years ago because they have so much incredible insight in them still today. His focus is putting the Christian Bible in its original context, so he's studied a LOT with Jewish rabbis, and his teaching is very colored by Judaism. In one lecture, he talks about how a rabbi friend of his told him once "You Christians get weak answers because you pray weak prayers." And digging into it, honestly, he's right -- how many of the "God please bless XY person" or even "God, if you want, would you heal XY" kind of prayers do we pray? Yes, God's will be done, but this is also the God who was so heartbroken on Good Friday he turned the whole sky dark and shook the entire earth. He created us with feelings and emotions and he's not afraid of them! It's totally possible to trust him and his good plans for us while also being honest about where our hearts are. And as Ray says in that lecture: "What sort of monster prays a weenie prayer for healing for their own child? You don't hem and haw over that. You scream and cry and beg 'GOD, HEAL MY BABY!!!!' There are plenty of Psalms written from a place of heartbreak and God inspired those. He knows our hearts. Why do we think we need to hedge with him?" That's absolutely transformed the way I pray, personally. I don't have to couch my feelings in the "right" kind of prayers. And at the same time, I know that his answers will be what's in his best plan, which my feeble little mind can't even grasp, and whatever it is, he will equip me for it. I think the "God will never give you something you can't handle" line is complete crap, because we cannot handle jack on our own, BUT God also promises to provide what is needed to bring about his will. So all that to say: I'm praying the big prayers, and I think you are too, but you can also be assured that he's not going to ask something of you and then be like "Welp, good luck!" It will be hard. It may seem impossible. But he will provide what you need.
God also knows our hearts so I believe he knows you want his will to be done -- you pray that every day in an Our Father, and wanting that AND something big doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. Asking for the miracle doesn't mean you don't believe he will do what's best, whatever the outcome. So I'd say pray for both! That's what Jesus did at Gethsemane -- asked for the miracle, BUT ALSO acceptance of whatever the answer is, and that's our model to follow, right? And frankly sanity and peace about this might be the bigger miracle than this little guy's heart, or at least it would be for me.
@ki1244 DS has been playing his cards right since Easter with the candy. I’ve developed a snickers obsession over the last week so multiple times he has walked over with a snickers at like 8am and is like “want one mom?” Well don’t mind if I do! And if I get candy so does he, especially since it’s his candy😂
@ki1244 I think the thought of being in a hotel for a week with my toddler and 8 month old puppy sounds so much worse than not having water upstairs
@estadt solo parenting on the weekend can stir up a special kind of resentment and annoyance. I totally relate. I’m sorry it’s been a struggle. And the neighbor thing is hard too!