In just a few weeks I will be getting a c section.
My boyfriend left tonight with majority of his stuff. His mom came and helped him too. A lot of things have been said between us over the past year.
Lately I’ve been trying to tell him how I feel. He’s been talking to me disrespectfully and I don’t feel validated. I don’t feel heard. I feel worthless.
He will “make up” for it in his own way. Tonight that includes Mexican food and some ice cream. Then a happy ending. When I tried bringing up my feelings later they were disregarded and he got angry with me and annoyed. I’m always asking for too much he says. Why can’t I be happy with what he’s given me? Good luck finding someone who will put up with him.
I asked him to leave for the billionth time but this time I didn’t change my mind. He’s gone. He will be back to get the nitty gritty of his things.
I feel at peace but feel guilty about it. I miss him but I feel guilty about it. I feel as if I made the right choice but also the wrong choice.
I’m already a mother to a 9 year old boy with a golden heart. I can do this by myself. But he seems to think I will not. He is not a parent yet, so this is his first. Also a boy.
Anyway, sorry for the long post. Just needed to vent. And for someone to read my feelings with feeling the need to respond and push it back in my face.