Weekly Randoms 2/6

pickle-chips

What’s up? 

tumbleweed-1

I remembered last night that I have a work training Saturday morning. It’s online, so I can stay home, but that’s not always better because there’s no way my 4 year old won’t interrupt me for 3 whole hours. 

emeraldcity603

@tumbleweed-1 is it live or just you following along with some preset videos? I had doing anything like zoom around the kids. It’s very painful. 

There is going to be a snowstorm today. Luckily I don’t need to go anywhere and I’m hoping the kid’s extracurricular gets canceled. I really don’t feel like being around people right now. I’m not ready to share that I’m pregnant and I have caught several people eyeing my midsection recently. I swear if someone has the nerve to ask I may say, no, I’m not pregnant. How do you respond to that? People shouldn’t feel so comfortable just assuming a woman is pregnant. They most certainly shouldn’t feel so comfortable just asking either. I may be moody today. 😆 Can you tell? 

tumbleweed-1

@emeraldcity603 it’s live. My boss paid for a presenter to do a workshop for our school (child care workers have to do 15 hours of child development training per year, in OR anyway. Each state has their own rules). When we have staff meetings my son can come and go casually, but SO might have to find an activity, take him outside, or even put on a movie. Probably a combo. 

tumbleweed-1

@emeraldcity603  again. Forgot to add that hopefully their activities are canceled! So far I’ve dressed frumpy enough or something no one has questioned my what feels like huge, bloated belly. Maybe they have more cooking sense not to ask?

ki1244

@emeraldcity603 can I join you on the grumpy bus? My daughter and husband were both driving me absolutely nuts today and even though I was trying to hard to stay kind, I miiiiiight have snapped a bit when my daughter insisted on watching me poop and my husband came upstairs at lunch time to inform me what he wanted for lunch, even though I was mid-meal with my daughter by that point (he was on a call when I started making lunch so I just left him an entree and figured he could grab his own sides, but surprise! He wanted cut-up veggies and since we had JUST gotten back from the grocery store I didn't have them prepped yet). Hoping this naptime is a good reset for the day...

estadt

Also on the grumpy buss the last few days, so short to anger and just moody 

emeraldcity603

@ki1244 Me and my husband have gotten in our biggest arguments while I’m pregnant. It has happened with each pregnancy. I really am trying to avoid that this time so I have been communicating more with my husband about being moody and easily set off. I explicitly tell him not to joke around with me about things when I feel this way. Which is also why I would rather avoid people right now. I may go off on someone if they even mention my body and then I will be the one who is the rude one. 

ccmrc143

This morning I was also super grumpy. I’m still recovering from the epic tantrum from DS. His new thing is that he’s OBSESSED with the kitchen. He doesn’t want to play in the playroom at all he just wants to stand on his stool and grab utensils and pots from the counter or stove. Or stand at the sink and beg for me to turn on the water. Big picture I love that he’s into cooking because we love to cook and bake. But day to day it’s exhausting because I don’t want to be in the kitchen all day just like standing there making sure he doesn’t turn the stove on. So this morning I told him we had to leave the kitchen because the sink had too many dirty dishes and he totally lost his mind for like 10 minutes. I couldn’t deal with the whining and yelling and instead of snapping I just kind of checked out till DH came down to help. Not my best mom moment at all. 

emeraldcity603

@ccmrc143 I have never been able to be one of those moms that had a designated kitchen stool for the kids. I do not like having to monitor my counters so closely. We also have a gas stove and have to have it baby proofed so our toddler doesn’t end up blowing up the house and killing us all. 🤦🏻‍♀️ My 16 month old is climbing on everything at this point and I’m exhausted trying to keep him safe. I caught him on the outside rail of my stairs and he was pretty far up. He has zero fear. Which will make this summer a very busy time for me. I won’t be able to sit at all. I will have to be chasing him away from all the water we hang out at. 

tumbleweed-1

Are we doing a weekly product spotlight? Don’t remember what the consensus was

pickle-chips

I think those that chimed in on the suggestion for weekly product spotlight were all in favour…of going weekly instead of monthly. 

benten24

I’m heading to a conference tomorrow for the rest of the week and I’m so excited to have the hotel bed to myself! I’ve been looking forward to this for so long but I feel semi bad leaving DH to solo parent since it puts far more stress on him. Catch 22 in my guilt and joy, ha. 

emeraldcity603

DH finished the painting in our older boy’s room. It’s beautiful. I chose a blue gray and it’s a mountain adventure theme. DH just needs to build their bunkbeds and hang the decor I bought for them and then we are done and can start on the girl’s room. I’m planning to move my 16 month old into his own room as soon as he gets over the cold he has right now. There is going to be some crying involved and I don’t like to do that unless I know they are 100% healthy. Then I plan to slowly transition him to getting night weaned. Then hopefully STTN. This is the longest I have ever had a baby (aside from my first) in my bed. I need some space and I need to be able to get up to go pee whenever I feel I need to. I have to be careful right now or he will follow me right off the bed. Also, DH has been sleeping on the couch right now because there isn’t enough room for the 3 of us. 🤪 I would like to have my husband in the bed with me. 

pickle-chips

@emeraldcity603 talk to me about room sharing...I want to bunk some combination of my kiddos in together, but I am struggling with logistics. What ages did they move in together? What does bedtime look like for them? 

novelblessings

Not sure how I’ve missed this post all week, I’m glad I’m not the only grumpy, irritated, pregnant lady! I have been biting everyone’s head off. Unintentionally pissed some of my staff off with my grumpiness, but I’ve been trying really hard to hide out at work. 

Only random thing this week is I am sick. I thought I had a cold because my youngest seemed to have one. But I think it’s the flu. My head hurts, I think the nausea was from being sick not pregnant related, and my throat is scratchy. I barely slept last night. I hope to nap today and hopefully go back to work tomorrow. I’ve been out all week! 

ki1244

My NIPT results showed up in my email 10 minutes after my husband left for the day for meetings 45 minutes away (instead of in his home office like usual). This is taking an absurd amount of self control to not open it.

We had basketball last night and it was a game we had no business winning, but somehow came away with a double-digit win! Which was so fun. But then my daughter was up for an hour at 3am. Lately, for the last couple months, she's been waking up 3-4 times every night, which SUCKS, but two nights ago she made it from 9:30 (she stalled bedtime, per usual now) until 7:30 and it was LIFE-CHANGING. I had no idea how tired I really was until I slept all night long and it was amazing. But then an hour straight last night and my husband and I were both so frustrated. I have no idea how to fix this but it has to happen before baby comes. Literally until November she was sleeping 10.5 hours straight through at night, but since then the wakeups are slowly killing us.

msjaay

@ki1244 preach. We have a little bedtime monster too haha. She slept through the night from 5 weeks until a year old and then at a year (and when separation anxiety hit) she's just up and down all night and usually one of us ends up sleeping with her. We're about to move her to a big girl bed so I'm thinking we'll just have to bite the bullet and be a little more strict about not giving in. My H loves sleeping with her so I think we've been in this limbo that we're not disrupted enough to do anything about it, but when there's a newborn here I'm sure we'll feel it.

emeraldcity603

@pickle-chips We started rooming our second and third child together. They are girl/boy and once my third reached a year I started putting him in his crib. We had to move the toddler out and sleep train for 2 nights and then he was great. Naps aren’t taken in the same room. Everyone is separated that sleeps during the day. The toddler stays in their bed and the youngest sleeps in my room. For bedtime, all my kids go to bed at the same time (ages 9-16 months) and we do teeth, book, prayers, bed. We don’t do a bath every night because it’s a lot to do that. I will put the toddler to bed and then put the baby to bed. So my baby actually goes to bed last. It has always worked for me to do this. I have found when I put my babies to bed earlier they wake super early in the morning for the day and they end up treating it like a nap. So it takes me longer to do bedtime that way. My 9 year old stays up reading in her bed which I’m fine with. During summer, I will likely let my older 3 (ages 9-5) stay up and playing outside until much later. The sun never goes down in the summer so 8 and 9 is like 5pm. I let my kids play outside as long as they can. 

emeraldcity603

We took the kids to a indoor play center with bowling, laser tag, and an arcade. It’s so much easier doing these things with DH. I brought all the kids a month ago and it’s hard to keep them from going off in 4 different directions. It helps when all the credits are attached to one card. I plan to do that again. 

lmn823

My heart breaks for my best friend. She wants to get a divorce but it’s not as easy as it sounds. She has one 6 year old son. Her husband is zero help. He keeps pushing her to have another child but is never home. He owns a restaurant but is out of the house most of the day. He still leaves early enough to go to the gym, and she says he takes an hour bath everyday after the gym. She’s the one who gets everything ready for their son with school, activities, life. She said he doesn’t even try anymore and thinks doing the bare minimum deserves an award. One night he didn’t come home until late because he was out drinking with one of the hot young waitresses at his restaurant (known as the purple thing girl). She told her mom and her mother isn’t supportive and thinks she’s stupid to leave him. And my friend also doesn’t want it to affect her sons life if they have a broken home. She also is scared to leave bc she doesn’t make a lot of money. She’s getting physically sick from migraines and stress. I know this is random but she’s a mom of a young child. I can’t imagine what I would do, but I would probably go to jail for killing my husband 🤬

wendy838

@lmn823 Ugh that would not fly with me. She is not the nanny, he needs to step up or step out! If she documents everything (and keeps copies in a safe place) and starts calling divorce lawyers, she can slowly get a plan in place until she's ready. Nothing has to happen immediately, assuming she's not in danger. So sorry your friend is dealing with that. 

ki1244

@lmn823 before going the divorce route, I'd encourage counseling. I know it seems like something that shouldn't need to be said, but sometimes it just does -- that if she hasn't told him about her feelings, he genuinely may not have any idea. As someone whose husband was out of the home a LOT (prior to having kids, in all fairness, but if he gets back into coaching it'll be this way again), his love language is different than mine -- and we had some struggles with that, and finding a balance, but it required talking about it. Especially if she's concerned about the effect of a divorce on her son (and she's right to have those concerns -- being in an unsafe environment is one thing, but an unequal division of labor is something else) I'd really encourage her to seek counseling, both as a couple AND for herself to deal with the stress and in finding her own self worth/joy.

lmn823

@wendy838 no she’s not in danger. She’s also scared bc she wasn’t working for 6 years and she moved into a different state with him away from us and family. So she just started working as a para in a school but makes very little to be on her own and I think she’s scared of that. Also I believe he gaslights her and makes her believe that she has mental issues and tells her that she belongs in a cuckoo house. She’s normal by the way he’s just useless and I know I’m doing my best to be supportive and at the end of the day it is her decision but this is my weekly random lol 

wendy838

@lmn823 yeah I get it, I totally agree with @ki1244 that counselling is the sensible course of action but I got fired up when I heard that he doesn't try anymore and would take hour long baths and go out for late night drinks with hot girls. This is why I am no one's guidance counselor 😂

My 20 month old smashed the back of his head on my left eye this weekend and I've got quite the shiner near my eyelid. Luckily it's not noticeable on zoom calls.

emeraldcity603

I have had to have tons of conversations with my husband about helping out around the house. I also make sure I plan several out of the home activities with my friends that my husband needs to be home watching the kids to accommodate me. Honestly, with so many kids my days have gotten so busy that I literally can’t get to everything. So either he helps out or the house work doesn’t get done. 

Anyways, I really think counseling would do them good and I would recommend that before going the divorce route. He also needs to be aware that going out late at night drinking with a girl from the restaurant is unacceptable. That’s very disrespectful to his wife. Not to mention it would make me start questioning whether he is being faithful. 

lmn823

Ok so I convinced her a few months back to try counseling and he agreed. They’ve gone to about 4 sessions together and I don’t pry unless she chooses to tell me. She said he deflects and blames her for everything negative in his life. Also telling the therapist that she has mental issues and can’t keep a  relationship as she has sister drama, friendship etc  (mind you this is 22 years of bff friendship with me). The therapist also told her that she needs to speak to her separately for their next session bc they are not making progress. 

She did express she needs help from him or expects him to be more of a dad to their son but he gives the bare minimum and the worst part to her-their son thinks dad is GOD

tumbleweed-1

I just tested positive for Covid. My DS has been home sick all week (he was exposed last Thursday at preschool). He probably has it too, but he initially tested negative and the tests are so traumatic for him that we haven’t repeated it yet. I’m not very sick, just a scratchy throat and mild headache mostly. Has anyone had Covid during pregnancy?? I’m mostly worried about that. I’ll call my midwife today when they open. I was supposed to have an appointment today too, that will need rescheduled 

emeraldcity603

@tumbleweed-1 I have had COVID during pregnancy. Honestly it was less of an illness than the other viruses we were getting. The only reason we knew we had it was because everyone around us that tested, tested positive. I took a baby’s aspirin the rest of my pregnancy but I was closer to third trimester. 

tumbleweed-1

I was able to switch my appointment to a virtual visit, so I can at least ask questions. Oddly, DS still testing negative (but it is hard to get a good sample from him). 

pickle-chips

Sorry to hear you are sick @tumbleweed-1! Hoping it stays mild and you have a speedy recovery. 

lmn823

@tumbleweed-1 I hope you stay strong and get well asap! 

ki1244

@tumbleweed-1 yikes! Hope it's a mild case and you feel better quickly. I didn't have it while pregnant, but have had it twice and both times I kinda felt like I got hit by a truck for about 18 hours, and then I was entirely back to normal. 

wendy838

@tumbleweed-1 hope you guys feel better soon

msjaay

Feel better, @tumbleweed-1! Two of my current pregnancy buddies (they're like 8 & 10 weeks ahead of me) just had COVID and they both recovered well.

tumbleweed-1

Thanks for the well wishes. I’m only mildly sick for now, hopefully it stays that way. I’ve had Covid once before (to my knowledge) and it was mild then too, if that counts for anything. I’m bummed I won’t be able to hear baby’s heartbeat today since I’m doing a virtual visit now, but as long as they are doing ok in there then I’m fine too. 

justyouraveragemama

@tumbleweed-1 I hope you feel better soon and that it stays mild! Being sick is no fun but being pregnant and sick is really no fun.

justyouraveragemama

I am so thankful that I have family that lives close. I have been struggling so much this whole pregnancy with keeping up on the housework. SO works two jobs so I can stay home and he helps out as much as he can but he opened up to me that he’s starting to feel burnt out taking on everything which I get because it’s a lot. I knew I couldn’t tackle the built up stuff on my own so I called my mom and asked her to come help me clean my house so she came out, brought my niece too and they helped me get things mostly back in order which would have been impossible without their help. So so thankful for them!

tumbleweed-1

My boss “couldn’t see” the line on my photo (I sent it to 5 other people who could) so I told her I’d use my last test this morning to follow up, and it’s negative. I’m confused about it and am currently getting a test done in an urgent care now. So frustrating. Like I’m making up having Covid while pregnant. Idk, but I saw a line and the rules are that means you have Covid. Plus I have some of the symptoms. 

emeraldcity603

@tumbleweed-1 hopefully it’s actually negative and just a cold. 

tumbleweed-1

Turns out it is actually negative! So weird though. I’m confused, but relieved that i apparently don’t have Covid, however we are all sick with something. Now I have to tell me midwife too, but I’m still going to do the immune system boosting vitamins she recommended for now.