June 2023 Moms

Monday Bitchfest anyone? 11/7


Re: Monday Bitchfest anyone? 11/7

  • @thescarletmom my son was born in August and has always been youngest in his class, also one of the smartest though. He tested in the 99th percentile of first graders in the nation last year. I was getting tons of emails home about him "talking out of turn" "being silly" etc. He is bored! I kept insisting he needed to be challenged. Also, they're kids. They are high energy. They are silly. They're children. I switched his school and have heard nothing about him misbehaving. I'm very protective of my son too and when emails are sent home to me that make it sound like he's a delinquent,  I get very defensive. I am not one to believe he is perfect, as he drives me bat shit some days and he can be very high energy! But he is a smart and good boy. No one wants to receive those types of emails! 
  • @hitcj4687 exactly! He's six, full stop. Talking and "being disruptive" is not something I need an email about, because it's normal children's behavior. 
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  • @thescarletmom @hitcj4687 I’m so glad to hear the follow-up went better! My daughter does some supremely dumb stuff when she’s bored because, like you both said, she’s SIX! Her teacher and I now are at a point where we can laugh at it, but I still worry about her getting pidgeon-holed for it all the time. On the other hand I feel good kr I’m begging the after-school program to be less lenient with her. It’s driving me bananas! For instance, their rule is if you forget your jacket in the classroom you don’t get to play outside. When she forgets her jacket (nearly every day) they take her to get it from her classroom and then let her play outside. No! Stop confusing her! You made a boundary, stick to it!
  • @cassafrass123 exactly, I'm always worried he'll become "that kid" to the staff, which would devastate me. Also, re: the boundaries thing. That's so frustrating! We work so hard on holding loving boundaries at home. If this, then this. You can be upset/angry/cry about the boundary and that is still the boundary. I would be so irritated, because I don't want to teach my kids that I set arbitrary, breakable rules all the time. If there's a reason for the rule, hold it up. If there's not, reevaluate it and stop setting the kids up for failure. As a former early childhood teacher, I'm sure for the after school program it's an issue of having a rule they're not prepared to implement. They made it so they wouldn't have to keep dragging kids all over to their classrooms. But they're not really going to force any of them to stay inside because it would affect their student to adult ratios or would just be a PITA. Which isn't fair to the kids either!
  • @cassafrass123 yeah, that’s not a real boundary and the kids know it! 🙄 
    If they don’t want to implement the consequences they need to just get rid of that rule, because they’re teaching the kids they don’t mean what they say.
  • @thescarletmom yes, I do fear my son being bored. We had his parent teacher conference today and she told us he may he put in gifted next year. My DH is not a huge fan of gifted bc he was in it as a child and hated it. He felt like he was separated from his friends and school was made to just be less fun and more stressful. But his teacher stressed how academically he is way ahead of most of the other kiddos. DS asked us for a “sixth grade math sheet” the other day and my husband went and did a google search and gave him one. Just addition and subtraction but with large numbers. Apparently he brought it in to his teacher last week without us knowing. She brought it up and made the comment that he is probably really bored. But then there was the whole other emotional aspect about how he is easily upset etc. I guess we will never know what the “right” decision is. 
    TTC History:
    Started dating DH 2006 . Married 2015

    TTC July 2015-November 2015
    BFP November 2015
    Baby boy born August 2016

    Oops BFP February 2021
    MMC March 2021

    Back on BC for a year to decide what we want to do.

    TTC Since March 2022
    MMC June 2022

    BFP September 2022 - Due June 2023!

  • @ReadyForaB for what its worth, I don't think there's ever a perfectly "right" answer. You just do your best with what you have, knowing every option will have challenges and you just have to be ready to tackle them. It makes sense to me that you and your DHs experience led you to your decision. Our experiences were almost the opposite, and definitely played a huge part in our choice. My husband and I were both in gifted programs in school that we enjoyed, but we were "late additions". Around here the gifted programs run 1st-8th grade, and we both got in in 5th grade. We also both had a similar experience in that being "bored"/ahead in school led us to having super low frustration tolerance for learning new things and study skills are non-existent because we never used them. So we felt strongly we wanted to avoid him being bored at all costs. But I know lots of people who put more priority on the emotional maturity side! 
  • @ReadyForaB It’s so hard to know if you’re pushing your kid too hard or holding them back, huh? 
    My older son is only 3 and is so so advanced. And I swear I’m not pushing him, I’ve just been really excited to homeschool, and he started showing so much interest. He’s already reading and honestly it was so easy. We only do school 1-2 a week and he’s quickly just learned it. He’s always asking to do school and clearly enjoys it. 
    On the other hand, I wasn’t ready to sit still and read until I was past 6, but then later I was way ahead. 
    I feel like kids have their one timeline, which is hard to work with in a school setting. But if they’re willing to let him go ahead a bit and he wants to it’s probably right for him. 
    So many behavioral problems come from bored kids!! 
    But I can kind of relate to not knowing how much to let them be ahead. I try to hide the fact that he can read from his cousin who’s 5 and barely knows the alphabet. It’s so awkward. I do wonder how it will play out and affect him if he continues to be ahead of his friends. 
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