IF Treatment & Testing w/o 9/19

optimistgardener

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ballgame. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: The rest of the year I am not a soup person but we're officially moving into soup territory on the calendar. Anyone got a favorite recipe?

anniemarie887

Diagnosis (if you've been): uncooperative uterus/RPL

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): doxy is over, heatburn is on the mend thankfully. today is the first day i'm rolling the dice and not taking meds, so we'll see how it goes. endometrial biopsy on 9/26

How are things going?: not great in the last 36 hours, i've just been in a really bad mood and extremely agitated. i told MH his existence and having to share space with him was annoying me. let myself get rattled this morning to the point i was yelling. i'm definitely getting a cold, and i'm tired and overwhelmed and all of that is bad combo.

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: The rest of the year I am not a soup person but we're officially moving into soup territory on the calendar. Anyone got a favorite recipe? two favorites: Cozy Autumn Wild Rice Soup - Gimme Some Oven and Spiced Chickpea Stew With Coconut and Turmeric — Alison Roman (alisoneroman.com)

bearmomma1

@anniemarie887 aw man, that sounds rough. I hope the week turns it around for you and that your cold is minor. 1 more week on the bench hopefully!

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR, LPD, unexplained

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IUI/IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): currently in the TWW of our final IUI cycle. Tomorrow we have our IVF re-consult. Nervous about what we're going to learn about our chances of being able to do IVF with my old diminishing eggs, but excited to hopefully move forward with something other than what we've been doing the last 2 years. At the very least, we're coming up on a year that I've been with my clinic and I'm due for re-testing of all the things. I'm very curious and dreading to see what my AMH is now...

How are things going?: ehh, we're entering into my hell of earth. TW and spoiler due to so many things:

My son's birthday is on Sunday. 2 years ago I went into unexplained preterm labor and delivered him at 30 weeks. He then spent 5.5 weeks in the NICU before he passed away. I'm planning on taking a pregnancy test on Sunday. So I'll either be more depressed than I've ever been, or I'll have something to bring me out of the darkness. Either way I'm scared as heck.

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: The rest of the year I am not a soup person but we're officially moving into soup territory on the calendar. Anyone got a favorite recipe? ooo I love soup season, but my H isn't a huge fan of soup for dinner. I made a pretty delicious beef stew last night: https://www.onceuponachef.com/recipes/beef-stew-with-carrots-potatoes.html  Served with crusty french bread to soak up all the broth..mmmm lots of leftovers!

annanbby

Diagnosis (if you've been): Currently unexplained.

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Clomid. I'm on CD 9, but I refrained from testing this morning to avoid more disappointment. Temp has dropped the last two days.

How are things going?: Well, I finally officially told MH that I think I want to stop trying. The original plan was to continue trying through December and then start looking into adoption in January if we haven't conceived yet. He's not totally on board for the no TTC the next three months, so that's what has me on the fence. I don't want to take that from him if he wants to continue, but I just think it's not happening. I may ask my doctor for further testing/a monitored cycle or even what the process of an IUI would look like, but I genuinely just don't want to keep trying without doing something different because obviously something isn't working. I'm just not sure I'm ready to head down the IUI/IVF type road, but I'm okay with getting information about it.

Any questions?: I feel like I've reached the extent of my knowledge for "what comes next" at this point. Any thoughts? What would the next step look like if clomid isn't working and we've been trying for over a year? Is it just switching meds, or what type of testing should I ask for? I really don't know where to go from here, or how to advocate for myself because I don't know what we need.

GTKY: The rest of the year I am not a soup person but we're officially moving into soup territory on the calendar. Anyone got a favorite recipe? Oh I loveee soup. I'll have to share some recipes when I'm back home.

annanbby

@anniemarie887 oh man, I'm sorry about the rough couple of days. Sometimes it just come out at the people closest to us, as much as we try to avoid it. I'm definitely feeling the agitation/sickness over here, too.

@bearmomma1 posted before I refreshed the page wishing you the best for this cycle, but also for the consult! Hopefully this change will be a positive one.

I'm sorry for the hard dates ahead. My daughter's 2nd birthday is in February, and I feel like I'm already anticipating that heartache. Maybe because the holidays are approaching so I'm just already feeling it. I hope for a positive for you on Sunday, it would certainly be a sweet little bright spot in a very hard day.

kiki047

@anniemarie887 so sorry friend, I can relate to your mood these days. I hear all the things are in retrograde so there's a reason we're all feeling pretty hopped up lately. Happy you're finally done the doxy, hope that wiped out all the bad stuff in your ute once and for all.
@bearmomma1 hugs friend, those anniversaries are SO hard. I wish more than anything that you get some good news on Sunday.  
@annanbby only you can decide if/how/when you keep trying, but in terms of low intervention options I think someone has already mentioned trying letrozole after this Clomid cycle to see if that maybe makes a difference. IMO a monitored cycle might be able to give you more information, I learned a lot from my few months of monitoring even if it didn't result in a pregnancy. I don't remember if I've asked but did you ever have any RPL testing done? Karyotyping, SA, thrombosis/clotting panels, etc? If you're not wanting to move on to IUI or IVF that could give you a lot more information on why things aren't working since you're still unexplained. Then you can decide if you even want or need to do IVF. 
@optimistgardener hope you're feeling better today, those ERs hit me harder with each subsequent retrieval. Keeping everything crossed for your updates on how they're progressing. 


Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, RPL/RIF, some MFI 

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): Taking a break from IVF but wouldn't exactly call it NTNP since I'm always actively "trying" 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Opted against BCP so I'm on cycle #2 of a completely natural cycle. FX for another normal cycle, though my stress levels are through the roof so that's not going to help matters much. Due to our personal commitments we won't be able to do anything next cycle either so we're looking at November before we try again. I'm excited to see how my new apple watch can help with cycle tracking through. It's mildly annoying having to enter data in two places (since I'm firmly committed to FF after using it religiously for 5 years) but if it works that'll be a game changer. At least while I'm between cycles. 

How are things going?: I don't even know. I'm just going through the motions these days. Fertility-related it's feeling more and more like this is never going to happen for us and I'm not expressly against surrogacy or adoption but it is just such an intensive, long process and I don't know if my heart can take it. 

Any questions?: NATM. 

GTKY: The rest of the year I am not a soup person but we're officially moving into soup territory on the calendar. Anyone got a favorite recipe? This is more along the lines of a chili consistency but I made it for the first time last year and it has been my most requested meal from family since then. It's technically a vegan recipe but I added chorizo and used chicken stock, and add whatever canned beans I have on hand. It's very versatile. I don't like cilantro so I used parsley, didn't add the nutritional yeast, and omit the jalepeno when using chorizo since it already adds enough heat on its own. https://frommybowl.com/butternut-squash-white-bean-chili/ 

optimistgardener

all your soup recommendations sound delicious! thank you for all the inspiration!

@bearmomma1, all i have is a hug and and i'm so sorry that this anniversary is coming up. i wish it didn't have to correspond so closely to testing. the two things shouldn't have to be entangled but i understand that they are.

@annanbby i know the feeling of being close to deciding you're done. honestly, that's pretty much where i was right before i joined this board (and then obviously i went ahead and went over the deep end into ivf and then multiple rounds of ivf, which i never would have imagined for myself as a possibility a couple of years ago). i think others are right that if you've got it in you to do another round, then make of that round what you can in terms of information. a monitored cycle would be potentially really full of information for you about how you're responding, what your lining looks like, etc. i can't remember if you've done diagnostic workup like an hsg (hysterosalpingogram to see that your tubes are open)/ or shg (saline hysterosonogram, to better visualize the shape of your uterus), but it might be worth doing to make sure there's nothing structurally at issue. i personally am more a fan of the letrazole than the clomid, but everyone responds differently! i will say i did lots and lots of unmonitored IUIs before i moved to more heavily medicated, monitored IUIs, and it was amazing how much more information i got from the monitoring. but finally, whatever decision you make is ok and correct when it comes to moving forward or not.

@kiki047 i'm so sorry about the whole long journey and the semi-benchedness and the feeling of hopelessness. i completely understand.

Diagnosis (if you've been): geriatric ovary, possible uterine scarring, possible endo, etc.

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): waiting for my blast report

How are things going?: i'm still kinda floating on that good fertilization report, and also trying really hard not to let myself fall down the rabbit hole of counting chickens before they hatch. but also, on the flip side, a little voice in my head is like "you know at the end of this, no matter how many blastocysts you make they're all going to be abnormal because your body doesn't actually do euploid embryos, right???" trying to ignore that voice because it is not helpful and it's not like i can do any thing about it at this point.
also this recovery has been suuucky (@kiki047 you're totally right about ER recovery just getting harder). my abdomen is just sore and weird feeling - all systems work so i'm not actually worried about it but it's uncomfortable and i hope my body gets its act together by wednesday when i start teaching.

Any questions?: nah

GTKY: The rest of the year I am not a soup person but we're officially moving into soup territory on the calendar. Anyone got a favorite recipe?

you guys, my question was brought on by encountering this recipe for a palestinian cauliflower soup, which very suddenly delivered me into an autumn soup mood:

https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1019934-roasted-cauliflower-soup?action=click&module=Global Search Recipe Card&pgType=search&rank=1

anniemarie887

@bearmomma1 big hug, that is just a lot to have on your plate at the same time and i'm sure a very hard bundle of emotions to reconcile. 
@annanbby i am seconding @optimistgardener thoughts that getting some more screening done, if you havent, would be super helpfu
@kiki047 i hope your body continues to cooperate and it feels like this frustrating benched time was at least a good break for you
@optimistgardener fx for all a great fert report!!!

annanbby

@kiki047 the original plan with my doctor was to finish this third round of clomid and then move on to letrozole. MH and I also did have karyotyping done and it came back normal for both of us, which honestly, we expected one of us to be carriers of something, so that was a positive surprise we had. 
I'm sorry you're feeling some loss of hope. Would it possible to continue TTC while pursing another route, too? Not sure how much additional stress that would be, but that's something we've considered, as well.

@optimistgardener I did have an HSG done which also came back normal. I was reading up more on IUI's the other day, and, this is probably totally ridiculous, but I didn't realize IUI's could be done on natural cycles, or just taking oral meds. That honestly completely changed my outlook on it.
Enjoy that good report! I'm hoping the upcoming one is just as good of news. How long is the wait for that one?

As of now, after talking to MH again last night, we decided to go with NTNP for the next three months. Partially because we feel like we need a break and to destress this whole situation before starting back up. He told me he wants to just have fun, and take me on some really nice dates, and not worry about temping/OPKs/meds. So as of now that's the plan, and then in January we'll start looking into an IUI on letrozole, and adoption, and see what looks best for us at that point. I'm looking forward to the three month breather, but also, how can you not stress about this stuff after so long of stressing about it. lol I'm not even sure that's possible, but I'm going to try.

bearmomma1

Thank you everyone for your kind hugs, thoughts and words!

@annanbby I think the more information you can get the better. And yes, IUI can be done with a natural cycle or with oral meds. You can also do injectables! There are a lot of options for a lot of paths to take. Nice dates and having fun sounds like a good way to take a break. And then jumping back into another plan of action next year sounds great. I'm not sure how you not stress though..lol..but I'm going to have to learn too. I'm definitely a bigger fan of letrozole over clomid. Letrozole isn't thinning my lining as much and I'm O'ing way earlier.

@kiki047 Are you doing OPK's while on your ivf break? Let us know how the new Apple watch works with your cycle tracking! I was looking into the Oura ring, but might hold off to hear your review.

@optimistgardener when do you get your blast report?? I'm hoping and believing you'll get good numbers!

afm, we had our IVF consult. Just as I expected, our RE doesn't recommend doing IVF with my eggs. If we decide to go down that route, she recommended an egg donor...because of my low AMH, and we're not seeing very much stimulation/activity on the oral meds. She said we haven't even busted out the big guns yet with IUI, i.e. injectables, but she didn't seem to keen on that either. She said it might get me 1 maybe 2 more follicles per cycle, and with the cost of those meds, it would make more sense to just do 2 cycles with oral meds, than spending triple to 6 times the amount just to get another follicle with 1 cycle. Basically, my old ovaries are drying up and who knows what the future holds for us. I think we're going to try 1 more letrozole/IUI cycle, which would bring us to 3, and then take a break from any treatment for a bit while we contemplate if we want to go the egg donor route.

 

Edited to delete the spoiler and TW. Seemed unnecessary and possibly insensitive to others here. Sorry y’all

acleverusername

@bearmomma1 YGPM

optimistgardener

ok well, i got a call last night and it seems that of the 21 i had fertilized, only 7 made it: 2 5-day blastocysts and 5 6-days. i am still a little teeny bit unclear on this though, because the nurse who told me gave me the news as if she was just updating me on the 11 that fertilized from this last, fresh cycle. like she said, "ok, you had 11 fertilized, and of those that fertilized, 7 made it." but then when i said, ok but what about the other 10, she sad to go ask someone and when she came back she seemed confused but said she thought that only 7 had survived in total. anyway, i'll be calling for confirmation later today but i'm not super cheerful about this result. in my first two rounds last year, i had, respectively, 4 of 5 fertilized make it to blast, and 2 of 4. of course, i'm also a year older now, though. *sad trombone*

kiki047

@optimistgardener oohh, big hugs incoming dear friend. I really hope you get more clarity soon and that the nurse had no idea what she was talking about. 

bearmomma1

@optimistgardener argg I hate unclear phone calls. I hope you get clarity soon. big hugs for whatever the outcome is.

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener I hope you get some clarity and that is just the number from your most recent ER 🤞🏼

optimistgardener

thanks guys. i dunno if this makes sense but i'm actually too frightened to make the call and get that clarity. so i've just been sitting on it.