Preparing older children for baby? (STM+)

merostomata

Hello STMs+! I was wondering if anyone is doing something special to make the transition to siblinghood easier for your older children. We have a 3.5yo daughter, and we've been talking about the pregnancy the whole time, and at this point she seems very excited and understands what's up. We have the book "Hello in There," which seemed to help her understand how a baby grows.

I was thinking of getting her a little gift for when the baby is born, like a new stuffed animal that matches one for the baby, and a bracelet that says "big sis"? I feel like it's just one more thing to worry about, but any tips are welcome-- especially from the TTMs+ who have done this before! My daughter is pretty sensitive and also just started preschool, so I'm really trying to help make this experience as positive as possible for her.

shortstack930

When we had our second child I took my oldest out for a special mommy and me date the day before my c-section. Then once the baby was here we gave her little gift "from the baby" and had her bring the baby a little gift also. My parents also got her a little gift to make her feel special. 

krysnicole1022

We do baby gifts when they meet the baby. We've done one on one dates as well before my c sections. My youngest is actively involved in every aspect of putting together his brother's room. He helps build furniture, lay flooring, and chooses decorations. He's used to having siblings and I just try to tell him how things might be when the baby is here. I am also planning on having a little nook for him in the baby's room for when I'm nursing because he typically follows me around anyway. 

kricron

A little baby doll that she can dress, rock, and pretend to feed is a great gift. That way she can have her own baby to care for too while you are helping the little one. This worked well for my kiddos. They had sun naming their babies too. My son named his peanut butter and my daughter named hers Penny ❤️

KGETS86

We got baby dolls for them to help take care of while I was caring for the newborn. We’ll also get them all a gift from the baby, although they don’t really care who it’s from. It’s mostly just a positive that they can associate with the time the baby came home. 

I’d let her school know as well. Our son’s teacher gave him a little extra attention after our youngest was born. 

Once baby gets here, we try to allow them to be involved to the extent they want to be involved. We don’t force interaction or anything like that. Eventually they just naturally start to bond with the baby in their own way. It may not be instantaneous (my oldest HATED his sister for the first 2-3 months - but he was only 18 months old), but it’ll happen eventually.