IF Testing & Treatment w/o 9/12

optimistgardener

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ballgame. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: You have to write a couple of pages by hand, and you have a lineup of pen options in front of you: 1) BIC ball-point, medium tip; 2) fountain pen, xtra fine tip; 3) felt tip pen, fine tip; 4) mechanical pencil with .7 lead; 5) Pilot rollerball extra-fine. Which one do you choose (each option is available in whatever color you desire)?

optimistgardener

Diagnosis (if you've been): elderly ovary

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): tomorrow is my stims day 8 monitoring appointment, and i  reckon there's a 50/50 chance of getting instructions to trigger tomorrow night.

How are things going?: i went from feeling pretty optimistic about those 10 tiny follicles to feeling like the chances are high that most of them won't catch up. i looked at my #s again from my saturday appointment and see that i have 1 around 14mm, and 4 in the 12-13mm range. the next smaller follicle is around 8mm, which is a big gap. anyway, only time will tell.

Any questions?: nope

GTKY: You have to write a couple of pages by hand, and you have a lineup of pen options in front of you: 1) BIC ball-point, medium tip; 2) fountain pen, xtra fine tip; 3) felt tip pen, fine tip; 4) mechanical pencil with .7 lead; 5) Pilot rollerball extra-fine. Which one do you choose (each option is available in whatever color you desire)?
so basically this question outs me as a pen nerd. but i've always thought that people's writing style and choice of pen says a lot about their personality. me, i'm either a fountain pen or a mechanical pencil girl, and my handwriting is a cramped, scrawling little cursive that most people find challenging to read.

anniemarie887

Diagnosis (if you've been): uncooperative uterus/RPL, chronic endometritis (realized i guess i don't have to write tbd any longer?!)

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): benched, but hopefully set free after my next biopsy 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): doxycycline, biopsy on 9/26 to check that endometritis has hopefully been vanquished from my uterus 

How are things going?: totally unrelated to ttc - but holy hell - we had steamed crabs (which are coated in spicy/salty seasoning) sat night w/MH's family and i had 2 boozy seltzers and a beer and was assaulted by the most epic heartburn/indigestion sunday morning and today. i have intermittent heartburn issues, and usually nexium handles it just fine even though i don't take it daily... but here i am on day 2 of miserable pain when i swallow. ugh. i will live of course, but for some reason heartburn makes me very whiny.  

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: You have to write a couple of pages by hand, and you have a lineup of pen options in front of you: 1) BIC ball-point, medium tip; 2) fountain pen, xtra fine tip; 3) felt tip pen, fine tip; 4) mechanical pencil with .7 lead; 5) Pilot rollerball extra-fine. Which one do you choose (each option is available in whatever color you desire)? oh i LOVE this question -- 5 ) pilot rollerball extra fine -- although i am one of those weirdos who has a favorite pen, actually a couple tbh, but currently on my desk are pilot g-2. 07 and i love them. 

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener gah, i am going to be optimistic on your behalf over here. i am so so hopeful those follicles behave themselves!!! i know it's easier for me to say than you to feel this way. and i love the pen nerd gtky!!!

optimistgardener

@anniemarie887 thanks for the optimism on my behalf! and i'm sorry to hear about the heartburn. i find all belly-related discomfort to be just kinda unbearable, which is why i try to make a point of avoiding bad hangovers, because mine all manifest in the form of horrible nausea. i hope you feel better soon! do meds help? also i too love a good pilot rollerball.

annanbby

Diagnosis (if you've been): Currently unexplained.

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Third & final round of clomid.

How are things going?: Eh. I'm starting to lose steam. I know 13 months isn't a lot compared to some, but I also don't know if I'd want to do more than basic medication. I'm just not sure it's the route for me. I'm starting to really lean toward adoption, but I don't think MH is done trying yet. I'm just tired.

Any questions?: Nope.

GTKY: You have to write a couple of pages by hand, and you have a lineup of pen options in front of you: 1) BIC ball-point, medium tip; 2) fountain pen, xtra fine tip; 3) felt tip pen, fine tip; 4) mechanical pencil with .7 lead; 5) Pilot rollerball extra-fine. Which one do you choose (each option is available in whatever color you desire)? Probably Pilot rollerball extra-fine. I love pens, and the thin tips or gel-type pens are my favorite. 

annanbby

@optimistgardener I'm all for any type of pen/planner/stationary conversation hoping for the best for those follicles!

@anniemarie887 that food sounds delicious, but oh boy, the heartburn, I can only imagine lol and Pilot G-2 pens are fantastic, as well. I bought those for a long time, and then started buying some nice gels from Amazon.

optimistgardener

@annanbby oh crap i should have remembered to include a gel pen option in my list!
as for losing steam, i know how that feels. honestly for what feels like years now i've been moving forward solely on the basis of "i decided to move forward with this at some point in the past and so here i am," but this is going to be my final retrieval round and we'll see if anything comes of it.

bearmomma1

@optimistgardener I really hope those follies catch up! I'll be optimistic for you as well and believe that they will.

@anniemarie887 oh man, that does sound like a delicious feast but not worth the aftermath. I hope your heartburn fades away soon.

@annanbby could you switch to letrozole if this round of clomid doesn't work?

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR, LPD, unexplained

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IUI (I think?)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): letrozole, trigger, IUI, progesterone.

How are things going?: I think they're going Ok? I had my first (and probably only) monitoring appt today of this cycle. I woke up and had a blazing positive OPK. I'm only on CD 11. I called and they said "well, we'd usually have you come in with a positive, but you're coming in anyway, so we'll just see you soon". My lining was 7.5 (probably more because I don't think she measured quite to the edges) but she had trouble finding my ovaries, which isn't super uncommon. She did find one 22 mm follicle, but couldn't tell if it was in my right or left ovary. She then called another lady in to help her out. They found my right ovary, (so the giant follie was was in my left) which was shadowy but it looked like they found 3 maybe 4 more follicles. She didn't even measure anything and said OK schedule your IUI on Wednesday. I'm like "I'm already surging, Wednesday would be too late". So I'm just waiting to hear back from my case manager after my RE reviews everything. I came straight home and my H and I DTD just to be safe. I'm curious if we'll just cancel this IUI cycle and stick with TI. Last cycle I started surging on my own and they had me trigger right away, and we did IUI the next day. It's already in the afternoon and I just think we're going to miss the trigger/iui window.

Any questions?: Why can't my body just chill out and let the people who know what they're doing call the shots?

GTKY: You have to write a couple of pages by hand, and you have a lineup of pen options in front of you: 1) BIC ball-point, medium tip; 2) fountain pen, xtra fine tip; 3) felt tip pen, fine tip; 4) mechanical pencil with .7 lead; 5) Pilot rollerball extra-fine. Which one do you choose (each option is available in whatever color you desire)?

oo I do love this question. I'm almost embarrassed to admit I love a basic BIC ball-point medium pen.

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 i can appreciate a solid old school BIC. i'm sorry that your body doesn't feel like it is cooperating. i also had slightly early ovulation a couple of times while doing clomid and letrazole. i don't think it's unusual. you just gotta prepare yourself to start doing opks on like, day 9. that's annoying that they had a hard time visualizing your ovaries though!

bearmomma1

@optimistgardener I’ve had a surge on CD 10 before also, so I start OPK’s at like day 5. Lol exactly for this reason. 
I finally heard back and they wanted me to go somewhere 1.5 hours (with no traffic) away for The IuI tomorrow…my H would have to get there at 9, which would be more of a 2 hour drive for him, and I would need to get there at 12. Pretty much impossible for us sooo we’re going to cancel the IuI cycle. They said to still trigger right away and do TI. Meh. Was kinda hoping this last shot before IVF would be a full effort, but it is what it is I guess.

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 hopefully it will be all that you need! but i completely understand the frustration. i'm hoping that the trigger shot will ensure that all of the follicles they saw spit out mature eggs, and that you get a good shot at it.

bearmomma1

Never mind! They called me back and we’re able to squeeze us in at our normal clinic. Early morning IUI tomorrow morning. 

anniemarie887

Gah @bearmomma1 what a great update after all of that!! Fingers crossed for you!!! 

gingermama29

@bearmomma1 thinking of you this morning! Good luck! FX!

anniemarie887

@annanbaby sorry i didn't mean to miss you! it absolutely takes a mental toll on you, and i can tell you i've certainly been thinking about what i'm willing to continue to trudge through myself - *tw losses* for me it's the continued loss part that i'm not like not sure how many more of these i can take *end tw*

edit to add, this explains a lot, although I’ve taken doxy before and don’t recall heartburn. I’m, of course, on the first option this time. Three more days to go, no sense in changing it now. 

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 omg! fingers tightly crossed for you!

@anniemarie887 wow. well at least i guess you found your culprit for the heartburn. yeckh.

AFM: stims day 8 update: i still only have 6 follicles above 10mm (one at ~19, 3 at ~15-15.5, 1 @ 12ish, and 1 @ 11), but i have another 10 clustered in the 5-10 range, which is officially 6 more follicles than they've ever actually seen during my earlier cycles prior to retrieval (they did retrieve 13 during my may retrieval, but only ever visualized 10). my e2 is also, appropriately, higher than it's ever been on a day 8 monitoring. So i'm pretty pleased with how things are going so far. FX they keep trending in a good direction. I'm instructed to carry on with my evening injections tonight and tomorrow morning, and then to trigger late on wednesday night for a friday afternoon retrieval. my RE seems hopeful he'll be able to collect on some of that crop of little guys bringing up the rear.

kiki047

@optimistgardener I was holding my breath after catching up on your previous updates and I'm letting out a small sigh of relief for you that it sounds like things are progressing about as well as you could hope for at this point. FX it continues to go well and you get a good crop on Friday!! 
@bearmomma1 hope everything went well this morning for you! 
@anniemarie887 ugh, so sorry about the indigestion. That sounds miserable. Hope you're feeling better today. 

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener I am over here doing a happy dance for your lovely scan today! Woohoo

optimistgardener

thanks @kiki047 and @anniemarie887! i'm well aware i shouldn't get ahead of myself in the enthusiasm department, but at least for now i'm glad that my final retrieval cycle holds out a little promise.

annanbby

@optimistgardener I'm hoping everything goes well for you for this retrieval, it sounds like you had a good scan today! But yes, the losing steam sure is real. I feel like I keep having to force myself to think positively this month, cause wow I am not feeling it.

@bearmomma1 yes, my doctor's plan was to do this final round of clomid and if that doesn't work then to switch to letrozole next month. I think I'm just being a pessimist lately. Also, how wild that the meds cause an earlier ovulation for you! It has the opposite effect on me, I typically ovulate later. Hoping the iui went well!!

@anniemarie887 it definitely just feels like a lot. *TW for loss* and as someone who has also experienced more than one loss, I can very much relate, and I'm so sorry you've gone through that, too. Multiple losses and no living children feels entirely unfair and heartbreaking, and makes continuing this more difficult.*end TW*

As far as the meds this cycle, the bloating/pain has been pretty rough. I emailed my doctor about it because it was actually waking me up during the night, but he said it's normal due to the increased progesterone. But geez, ouch. lol

bearmomma1

@optimistgardener wahoo! 6 follies plus whatever else he can grab sounds like a great haul. Friday afternoon Optimist, you’re so close to being done with this part of your journey. Hoping the rest of your week is uneventful.
@anniemarie887 oof, at least you’re almost at the end of your treatment! Think you’ll be willing to try the crabs again? 

@annanbby sorry to hear about the cramping. With clomid I usually still ovulated later, but with letrozole I’ve been on time or early! Hoping you have better luck with that if you have to switch courses.

afm, IUI went well! They called my H after he dropped off his sample and said there was a hair in it. He’s like uh can you still proceed? The person said maybe, I’ll have to check with the dr. I’m thinking I highly doubt this is the first time hair has been found in a hairy man’s sample. Lol. They didn’t mention anything to me about it. I had some pretty intense cramps yesterday evening. Not sure if I was ovulating then or if it was just from the trigger shot earlier amping things up. Anyway, 174 mil spermies are making their maiden and hopefully successful voyage. 

kiki047

@bearmomma1 I am snort laughing at the thought of YH answering the phone and them telling him they found a hair in his semen As if they had to call him for that! I also have a very hairy husband and he would be mortified if he got that call. Glad they were able to proceed sans le stray pube; swim little dudes, swim!! 
@annanbby I think I've had a pessimistic outlook on this whole process for the last 4 out of 5 years, but there's clearly still a tiny bit of hope left somewhere in me that keeps me going. Wish I could tap into that but it's behind a very thick glass wall to protect my heart. Do what you have to do to guard yourself from the hurt, even if that means this is your last stop on the ART train. 

bearmomma1

@kiki047 I think it would've been funny if he wasn't so afraid he messed everything up. I of course googled "hair in semen sample" and a lot of fertility places had notes saying "if hair or fuzz ends up on sample cup, do not remove yourself. The lab has sterile tools to remove it" Our instructions didn't specifically have any notes about it, but I seriously doubted they'd never come across a situation like that before!

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 omg, hair in the sample! 😂 i'm glad everything worked out.

re the conversation about maintaining hope in this process (@kiki047 and @annanbby), i started typing out a thing yesterday about this but didn't finish it, mainly to the effect that, despite my screen handle (which is really more of a reference to my attitude about gardening rather than my attitude about reproducing), i mostly have a very hard time keeping a positive attitude about all of this. for quite a while now, my method of continuing to move forward is just to say to myself "i knew that this was important when i started this process, and i trust that it is still important, so i just continue to  act out the required mechanical processes." but it is often hard to remember what it felt like back when i first made that decision. i've become very emotionally distanced from it all.

on which note(!): i got up last night at 3am and administered the trigger shot for my retrieval, which will take place on friday afternoon. even though i was barely awake, it did register that this is likely to be the last time i give myself a shot for this side of the effort. hopefully i'll find myself doing shots for a FET at some point in the future, but that's a different game. today, i'm going to box up all the needles and syringes and leftover drugs and whatever that i have lying around to i can give them to the clinic when i go in tomorrow. after all the times they've bailed me out when i've run out of supplies, i'm glad to be able to return the favor.

editing to add that i sort of think i want to write my clinic a thank you note to give them now, before i learn any more about how my embryos are going to progress, or even how many embryos i will have. my clinic have been, despite a couple of chaotic moments (they've been experiencing some growing pains) unfailingly supportive and my doctor in particular has been wonderful. i think this will be easier to write while the outcome of all our efforts is still a black box.

bearmomma1

@optimistgardener I love the idea of writing a thank you note. I've had visions in my head of showing off my healthy ultrasound, or even healthy baby to everyone who's helped in my journey to conceive. From Dr's to acupuncturist, to therapists. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 I better get on writing that card this afternoon!

I cannot wait for my retrieval appointment. i haven't been sleeping well for days (stims meds, i guess?), plus my ovary feels _funky_ and I am just falling asleep in my chair, not getting anything done at all. And I'm hungry but also mildly nauseated. *whines* trying to tell myself that this is all a side effect of my unusally-for-me high e2 numbers this round.

anniemarie887

get all the whining out @optimistgardener! i have been nonstop whining about my heartburn, but also maybe still having coffee, so just being a masochist. today is my last doxy pill! so hopefully the pain i suffered was worth it. 

optimistgardener

@anniemarie887 i would absolutely be in the same boat if i had heartburn. "what do you mean cutting back on coffee would help??!!" *slurps coffee noisily*

acleverusername

*lurking*
@optimistgardener good luck tomorrow!!! Will be thinking about you and your little oocytes!

optimistgardener

thanks @acleverusername! you remind me that oocyte is a great word.

kiki047

@optimistgardener good luck today!! Sending you all the mature, viable oocyte vibes. 

maggiemadeit

*lurking*
@optimistgardener Rooting for you and your eggs today! Good luck! 

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener good luck! also sending all the best thoughts your way!

optimistgardener

awww, thanks you guys! i'm just killing time now until i can reasonably hit the road.

bearmomma1

Thinking of you today!! @optimistgardener I hope the procedure is quick and your recovery smooth!

optimistgardener

thanks everyone! 12 retrieved. we'll see tomorrow how many mature/fertilize.

optimistgardener

update... so of the 12, 11 were mature and 11 fertilized!! amazing news.
only 10 of my 12 from the last two cycles survived the thaw, so 21 are now growing out. fingers crossed for a good blast report on day 6.

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener this is a fabulous update!

annanbby

@optimistgardener such good news!!

gingermama29

@optimistgardener that’s amazing news!! FX for a great blast report!