IF Testing & Treatment w/o 8/22

abjm0325

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ballgame. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been): 

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): 

How are things going?: 

Any questions?: 

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy?

gingermama29

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Letrozole, trigger, TI

How are things going?: I’m doing better. I had my first session with my therapist on Saturday and it went great! I felt very comfortable talking to her and we have very complementary personalities so I’m feeling good that we’re a good fit. She’s an hour drive from my house but it’s a good opportunity to listen to my audiobook. I have my CD 10 US on Wednesday and my next therapy session on Friday this week.

Any questions?: nah

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy?

This is a hard question. I really like organizing things 

optimistgardener

@gingermama29 so glad that things seem to be clicking with the therapist! sorry about the long drive but maybe it's a useful part of therapy to have a bit of a "down time" to and fro. as much as i hate my 3-hour drive to my clinic, during stim cycles there's a part of me that embraces the long enforced meditation sessions.

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR, bad eggs, 1 ovary

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): still on the nuvaring, waiting for my baseline on the 4th.

How are things going?: having some moments of anxiety for sure about this being my last cycle, and about being oversuppressed because of the long stint on on BC. everything else is fine. i am super ready to not be swallowing all these pills all the time. ugh.

Any questions?: not really. all my questions are like "why does my clinic only do 2 days of MD lupron before it starts the stims when other clinic protocols i've seen do 3" which is definitely a question to pose to the doc, if at all.

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy?
y'all are gonna think this is really weird but i do sort of enjoy doing my taxes. there's a small part of me that enjoys math, and i sometimes will use a program like turbotax but also run a "from scratch" paper version of my taxes alongside so i can see how turbotax does its calculations.

abjm0325

@gingermama29 Yay for the therapist being a good fit! Hopefully the drive won't seem too arduous with good books and music. 

@optimistgardener I hope this last cycle goes smoothly for you so you can close this chapter with no regrets.

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, old, unknown

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Still the clomid thing (along with all of the etc)

How are things going?: Going okay so far. Entering FW with a plan, so that takes away some of the anxiety. We'll see if it actually works out. I seem to oscillate between believing this will never happen and believing I just have to be patient. This week I'm in the second camp, so trying to hold on to that optimism. 

Any questions?: Not today

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy? I love to-do lists and calendars (all color-coded of course). Definitely has nothing to do with my need for some semblance of control in my life, haha.

annanbby

@gingermama29 So glad to hear you connected well with your therapist! It can be so hard to find someone, so that's great to hear.

@optimistgardener Wishing you the best for this cycle

@abjm0325 I feel like that optimism/hope is so important. It's so hard to keep going without it. Whenever it comes around, I grab on to it, too.

Hi, it looks like I'm officially moving over to this thread.

Diagnosis (if you've been): Currently unexplained.

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Had an HSG this cycle. Waiting for my doctor to tell me what we need to do next.

How are things going?: Well, I'm officially a year into TTC now. So not great. I emailed my doctor this morning, after a couple of BFNs asking what the next steps will be. The HSG didn't reveal anything too significant (especially since we couldn't finish the test), so we shall see.

Any questions?: Nope.

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy? Buying new furniture/appliances?? Also I second the organization thing. I still buy planners every year. It's fun, and my life feels chaotic without it.  

anniemarie887

Diagnosis (if you've been): uncooperative uterus/RPL, tbd?

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): benched for eternity

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): my updates have been a lot of the same for the last few weeks/months, but pre-op is thursday! acupuncture friday, and hysteroscopy with goal to remove what has been inhabiting my uterus on 8/30. 

How are things going?: i am tired, had a super busy weekend, but fun busy. a brewery for a friend's bday friday, a baby shower and concert saturday, and then a belated birthday brunch for me sunday. i came home sunday and just laid on the sofa all afternoon. we have dinner with friends tonight. i'm going to go to a concert solo thursday, and then we have one friday with friends. this week is BUSY. 

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy? ummm... once upon a time i really like organizing, things like pantries/closets... mine are all in dire need of a purge. it's just not something i can muster the energy to do in the summer you know. 

@annanbaby i want a new washer/dryer set so badly, ours are not terribly old which is why i can't justify it.
@gingermama29 i am so glad the therapist is a good fit! 
@optimistgardner i'm not sure i've ever known someone to say they enjoy doing taxes. 
@abjm0325 fingers crossed for a low stress fw for you!

kiki047

I apologize in advance for all my lurking lately. I have nothing of any interest to report on my cycle while I'm in limbo but on a personal level, *TW* my beloved grandmother is in palliative care as they discovered a large mass that is completely obstructing her bowels so we've been keeping vigil by her bedside for the last week, but she is still miraculously awake, lucid, and in good spirits, despite not having eaten in over 2 weeks other than a few bites of jello and clear liquids, and only sips of water this week. Anyway, I didn't want to disappear without explanation but I have been checking in here and there when I can. Sending everyone love and luck on their upcoming cycles/procedures/etc. I hope to be back in mid-September after we get back from our trip. 

optimistgardener

@kiki047 sending all the calmest and most lucid wishes your grandmother's way, and strength in your direction. i was by my grandmother's side and watched her pass away a few years ago. my experience was that it is at once awful but also, strangely, miraculous to be there for the process, not exactly a reversal of birth but akin to it. it is amazing how little the body needs when it is taking this journey. i hope you are able to treasure the time you have left with her.

elle-0409

@gingermama29 I'm so glad that your therapy session went well and that you are a good fit. Good luck with the u/s on Wednesday!

@optimistgardener Sorry for the anxiety. I hope that you can find some moments of calm during this whole crazy process.

@abjm0325 +1 for to-do lists and calendars. I'm glad that you have a good plan for this cycle and feel optimistic.

@annanbby I'm so sorry for the year anniversary. I hope that your doctor can help you figure out what to do next.

@anniemarie887 Yay for your pre-op! It's finally happening!

@kiki047 Sending infinite hugs to you and your grandmother.

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, MTHFR, LPD, ANA Positive, A Bad Ass Bitch

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): Benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): I FINALLY have my appointment with the rheumatologist next week. I'm trying to not count the minutes.

How are things going?: Pretty good. I'm going through a phase where I want to be extremely minimalist, so I keep getting rid of things, but I still have so much stuff. It might be easier to move.

Any questions?: NATM

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy? I'm not sure if this counts, but I just signed up for Rent the Runway and I am LIVING for these pieces, you all! Shopping for clothes is never a boring task for me because fashion is errything.

anniemarie887

@kiki047 sending lots of love your way, i am so sorry for your grandmother's turn in her health. i know how hard that is. and i hope you have a great trip

edit for spelling

anniemarie887

@elle-0409 i love my RTR subsciption! i had done it years ago and stopped, but i've been back it for a year now

annanbby

Update and question for you all: my doctor said my HSG looked normal as far as he could tell (exactly what the doctor said that did the HSG). So he suggested we either switch to Letrozole or try a couple more cycles of Clomid. Is there any reason I should lean more toward one or the other? Should I request some testing, as well, or just start with the meds?

(I’ll come back and respond to some earlier posts, I’m on my phone and we all know the struggles with this site on mobile )

optimistgardener

@annanbby it really depends on what your body responds best to, but lots of women find that clomid thins their uterine lining. if you're able to do some monitoring (even just one u/s shortly before O) so you're not flying totally blind and have a sense of how your follicles are responding/what your lining looks like, that's a good idea.

bearmomma1

@gingermama29 glad to hear your therapist is working out! I hope it continues to be a source of healing for you. Fingers crossed for a good CD 10 US!

@optimistgardner I hear you on being ready to not be swallowing pills all the time...which reminds me, I need to take my midday pills!

@abjm0325 it's amazing the roller coaster of TTC is. Hormones probably play a big part with where you are in your cycle too!

@annanbby sorry to see you here, but it's a great place for support!

@anniemarie887 horray for pre-op week! I'm so so excited for you.

@kiki047 hugs friend. I hope you have an amazing trip.

@elle-0409 oooh that sounds interesting. I think I need to look more into the online clothes rental situation.

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR, LPD, unexplained

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IUI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IUI was on Friday. Now just trying to patiently make it though the next 2 weeks.

How are things going?: Going well so far. I think I've settled with the fact that I won't take a test until the day before my beta. Last cycle really messed with me with the line/no line/leftover trigger situation.

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: What is an absolutely boring adult thing that brings you joy?

Emptying the dishwasher...lol I actually hate doing it but it brings me so much joy to have an empty dishwasher.

gingermama29

@optimistgardener yeah I’m going to enjoy all of the time to listen to my book. I’m working my way through the Outlander series again because it had been too long since I read them for me to be ready to read the newest one. Sorry you’re dealing with extra anxiety in this cycle. I hope it goes well for you.

@abjm0325 FX that you can remain optimistic and everything goes great with FW. Glad you’ve got a plan going into it.

@annanbby glad the HSG went well and everything looked normal. Like optimist said, it totally depends on your body and what it responds best to. I didn’t really have any side effects on Clovis, though I know others here have experienced several. I’m on Letrozole and also don’t have any real side effects but my body definitely responds to it well.

@anniemarie887 I can’t believe surgery week is already almost here! I imagine it has felt like forever for you. So glad you’re almost to the end of your benched period!

@kiki047 sending so many hugs to you friend. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. 

@elle-0409 so glad you finally got an appointment with your rheumatologist. RTR sounds fun! Being plus sized, I struggle to buy clothes online so I’ve never tried anything like that before.

@bearmomma1 I hope this TWW flies by for you! I totally get trying to wait until the beta to test. It’s so hard - I think my anxiety fuels this.

acleverusername

*lurking*

@annanbby I’ve always been of the opinion that doing the same thing and expecting a different result is in fact insanity. Now, that doesn’t really apply in medicine as it does in other parts of our lives, but it does have some application. My recommendation would be to try Letrazole because… at the very minimum… it’s something different and who knows… it might just be the thing that works for you. 

ETA: I might as well explain difference between how Clomid and Letrazole work. Clomid “tricks” the brain into thinking that there isn’t enough estrogen around by blocking estrogen receptors in the brain.This signals to the pituitary gland to release more FSH/LH to stimulate follicular development and ovulation.

Letrazole, on the other hand, actually inhibits the conversion of androgens into estrogen, ultimately causing the same reaction in the body (release of FSH/LH by the pituitary). The key difference is that here, your body actually does have an estrogen deficiency, where as with Clomid, it’s just an illusion. 

I synthesized all of that from this CNY Fertility article: https://www.cnyfertility.com/clomid-vs-letrozole/. Also a helpful diagram: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Schematic-representation-of-the-hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal-HPG-axes_fig5_268791949/amp

Not sure if anyone remembers (or cares) that I was having something called a DUTCH test done back in July. Well, I just received / reviewed the results with my functional medicine and this whole hormonal transformations and pathways make hella more sense now. If anyone is interested, I can scrub the report of my personal data and share. Just DM me. 

gingermama29

I had my CD10 US today and idk what my body is up to lately. My lining was thin at 4ish mm but I had three huge follicles! 2 on my left ovary were 34mm and 30mm and one in my right was 26mm. I’m curious what my RE will instruct regarding my trigger. 

Also I saw my primary today. She agreed with my suspicion of having ADHD but also confirmed that medication isn’t an option given fertility treatment. We have upped my anxiety meds though because I’ve been struggling more with it. She was actually going to recommend a mental health counselor before she know I started seeing a therapist so we’re definitely on the same page. I just feel like a hot mess lately and my body seems to be in the same boat. 

optimistgardener

@gingermama29 woah those are some honkin' big follicles! can you feel them?

Also a minor update from my end of things: had my (i hope) last delivery of egg retrieval-related drugs today. compounded lupron all ready to go.

bearmomma1

@gingermama29 wooooah! I've never seen a follicle that size. Are you super bloated?

@optimistgardener horray!! I hope it is the last!

gingermama29

@optimistgardener yay for the (hopefully) last delivery! 

AFM, I heard back from my RE’s office and given my lining and how giant the follicles are, they suspect they might actually be cysts so they’re sending me in for bloodwork tomorrow to check hormone levels. 

optimistgardener

@gingermama29 boooo

bearmomma1

@gingermama29 argg I’m sorry. 

abjm0325

@optimistgardener Yay for final meds delivery!

@gingermama29 Rats, that stinks. Keep us posted on what you find out. 

@annanbby I did a few cycles of letrozole this past spring and then switched to clomid. I've heard letrozole tends to have fewer side effects, but I haven't noticed any on either so that seems to be a personal difference thing. I'm all for trying something new! 

@bearmomma1 Ooh, I do love an empty dishwasher. And when the clothes are put away and you have an empty laundry basket. I hope the wait to test goes by quickly for you!

@elle-0409 Yay for the upcoming appointment! I've never tried Rent the Runway, but it sounds pretty fun. 

@kiki047 Sending you lots of hugs as you spend this time with your grandmother and family.

@anniemarie887 I hope your busy week has been fun. Excited for you to finally have that pre-op appointment!

anniemarie887

@gingermama29 ugh I’m sorry, I hope it’s not a cyst. 

@optimistgardener how’s it feel compounding the last round of meds? Relief? 

*TW for prior losses/d&c*

AFM, I had preop today. Her thoughts are that this is either scar tissue or still a small amount of retained POC that isn’t generating enough HCG to turn tests. She had a patient last week with retained POC that (her words) was very sticky and she had to pick out, which kind of made me shudder. She is going to insert a pediatric catheter, I did not clarify how long it will stay in, but I will do a follow up a week later instead of two weeks like the d&c, hoping that means it’s just a week?. She was very blunt about the catheter process, which I’m not jazzed about. She says recovery should be easier than the prior d&cs even with it, so I really hope so. We have some things planned Labor Day weekend, and I hope I’m not miserable. I just really, really, really want to move past this chapter. I did ask about clearance to try again, she said there’s not strict guidance after a hysteroscopy but she would prefer me to wait a cycle. Bc this isn’t the same evacuation of a d&c I’ll still get my period a few days after the procedure it seems, she said she prefers to do these at the beginning of the cycle but gets that we are working with a calendar after the 6 week covid delay. 

Edit: words are hard 

annanbby

Sorry for posting and disappearing, it's been a wild week.
But I really appreciate all the info on clomid and letrozole. My doctor decided he'd like me to do one more round of clomid and if that doesn't work we'll switch to letrozole. I didn't really have much side effects on the clomid, but I did have issues with it making it really difficult to pinpoint ovulation. However, I could definitely feel it. It was a really weird pain/fullness feeling on both sides, which I don't have when I'm not taking it. And I would see my temperature increase, but figuring out the exact day of ovulation wasn't easy for some reason. Normally it's pretty clear.

@optimistgardener that explanation is really helpful, and I agree that doing the same thing again doesn't seem very productive. I'm tempted to ask him to just prescribe the letrozole, but I also don't want to feel like I didn't exhaust all my options when I had the chance. I've only done two rounds of the clomid, so who knows, maybe one more round will do it (though I'm a bit doubtful). My hesitancy mostly comes because I have an opportunity to start fresh. I've had two med-free cycles to let my body go back to it's norm, and it seems like a lot to go back onto one medication just to switch to another one the following month. Maybe I'm overthinking it.

@bearmomma1 fingers crossed this IUI was successful!

@gingermama29 oh man, rooting for no cysts! I hope your appointment goes well!

@anniemarie887 Hoping that process is short for you and you get to enjoy Labor Day weekend. I'm sorry you're having to do all of that.

elle-0409

@anniemarie887 Oof. That's a lot to take in. How are you feeling about it all? I hope that the procedure goes smoothly and your recovery is easy and swift.

bearmomma1

@anniemarie887 you think they might leave the catheter in for the a whole week? For your bladder or into your uterus? I hope it's not as bad as it sounds and it's only for during the surgery.

anniemarie887

@bearmomma1 in my uterus! Foley bulb catheter. Dr Google says 5-7 days is the norm, apparently this is effective in making sure scar tissue doesn’t form again. 

optimistgardener

@anniemarie887 that sounds miserable. i hope it proves less miserable than it sounds and that the week passes quickly.

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener you and me both girl, I guess I won’t be enjoying all my pool time before it closes LDW. Le sigh. 

gingermama29

So after talking to my therapist, my husband, and one of the nurses at my RE’s office, we’ve decided to take a break from IF treatment until after my Italy trip in October. My hormones were suppressed meaning that the massive follicles I have right now are just cysts. My RE wants to sit down in September and do some baseline testing and discuss options going forward. We’re looking at moving on to Gonal F, ovidrel, and endometrim for the next course of treatment but we’re going to discuss it more in depth mid-September when I meet with my RE. In the meantime, we’ll be NTNP but I need to take some time and work on my mental health and properly grieve my losses and not focus everything on TTC like I have been. So I’ll be lurking more here over the next month but I’m stepping back a bit to focus my mental health.

kiki047

@gingermama29 hugs friend, everything we put ourselves through is a lot and it's totally understandable to need to take a step back now and again to regroup. Whenever you need to talk, we're here for you!  

@anniemarie887 oooof friend, I hope your procedure goes well and this whole foley bulb/catheter business isn't as big a deal as it sounds. Will be thinking about you! 

AFM, my resilient Grandma is still somehow holding on, though she's slowly fading a little more each day. I am so beyond sad but also grateful to have had this time with her for a little bit of closure. 

optimistgardener

@gingermama29 do what you need to do. we'll be here if you need to talk or rant or just whatever.

abjm0325

@anniemarie887 Yikes, girl. I hope this will be the end to that awful saga for you!

@gingermama29 Sending you hugs. Sounds like you have a good plan moving forward and I hope this is a good time of healing for you. Can't wait to hear about your Italy trip!

@kiki047 Sending love to you and your sweet grandma during this time together. 

acleverusername

*lurking*

@g@gingermama29 oh girl, I know that must have been a really hard decision to make. Sending you hugs. FWIW, after I realized during my spiritual fertility retreat back in June that I likely have a lot of chronic trauma I need to work through, I started working with a somatic trauma counselor. Even though I only had 1 session with him (but it was 2.5 hours!!!), I think it was really really critical for us. ****TW Loss****

One of the things he did was “encourage me” to relive the moment we’d heard the heart beat in the last pregnancy. It was such a powerful moment. I was physically in pain but then, after a few minutes… it went away??? It’s so weird to describe but with the physical pain gone, I felt the emotional burden lift as well. 

anniemarie887

@gingermama29 big, big, big hug. I completely understand wanting to step away, enjoy your trip and give your body and mind some rest. I hope Italy is both fun, and restorative, and chime in whenever you want! 

@kiki047 I’m so glad you’re getting to spend this time with her, hugs. 

Thanks for all the well wishes everyone. Official report time to the hospital is 6am Tuesday. Glad to be first thing in the morning so I’m not hangry.