IF testing & treatment w/o 8/15

anniemarie887

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ballgame. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been): 

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): 

How are things going?: 

Any questions?: 

GTKY: as we approach Labor Day and the "end" of summer - what is your favorite part of this past summer? and/or you looking forward to something in the next two weeks?

kiki047

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, RPL/RIF, some MFI

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): Essentially benched between cycles

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Au naturel. Decided not to take the BCP so we're on our own for ~2 cycles (or however long my PCOS-ridden body wants my cycles to be, hah). 

How are things going?: I'm stressed. It's been ~2 years since I've gone more than 1 cycle without some kind of intervention (IVF, FET, or a medicated cycle) so I may try temping again and see if I can get back into that groove. A small part of me is hopeful that maybe if I can get my cycles back on track naturally then maybe we could try a natural transfer. *TW* my first BFP was Sept 2020, after a forced break from March 2020 - Sept and while it was a medicated FET cycle, I had normal cycles/periods all summer so I want to get back to that place again. 

Any questions?: NATM. 

GTKY: as we approach Labor Day and the "end" of summer - what is your favorite part of this past summer? and/or you looking forward to something in the next two weeks? It's peak harvest season in my garden so I'm very excited to reap the benefits of all my hard work. We have squash and tomatoes galore, and I checked on my potatoes yesterday and found a couple small ones so those should be ready to dig up soon too. We've had more beans than we know what to do with all summer, and I'm already planning next year's garden. I've said it before and I'll say it again, fighting IF makes me feel like my body is incapable of nurturing (human) life so there is something so rewarding and affirming about nurturing my plants from seed to maturity and being able to share it with my family. I practically cry over my tomatoes every year and MH thinks I'm a lunatic but I'm so damn proud. 

hestia-is-wearie

*lurking*

@anniemarie887 thank you for starting this one! I forgot this one and the newbies intro.

gingermama29

@kiki047 hugs friend. I’m sorry last cycle didn’t work out. Hopefully this natural cycle won’t go too long. 

 Diagnosis (if you’ve been): PCOS 

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Assuming Letrozole and a trigger but not entirely sure yet.

How are things going?: Not great.

*TW*

I got a faint but definite BFP on 8 DPO (don’t know what possessed me to test that early). I continued testing each day and lines remained super faint but definitely there. I started spotting yesterday (11 DPO) and was hopeful that it was only implantation bleeding. I’m full flow, bright red bleeding today which is a couple days early for my period so I called my doctor. Waiting on my beta results but I’m pretty sure this is my period and I may have just had another chemical pregnancy. This whole cycle was completely weird for me with very early ovulation.

Any questions?: not really. Just really struggling to stay positive. We’re 3 years with *4 losses into ttc and I just feel like I’m becoming numb to everything. 

GTKY: as we approach Labor Day and the "end" of summer - what is your favorite part of this past summer? and/or you looking forward to something in the next two weeks? 

Tomorrow is DH’s and my 8th anniversary! Aside from that I’m soaking in the last of summer before I go back to work and spending time with friends and family.

bearmomma1

@kiki047 I can totally relate to those same feelings. If our bodies can't create life, at least we can create a bountiful garden!

@gingermama29 oh man, I'm so sorry to hear about your chemical. I hope your body gets it together and has a more normal cycle this time. Happy Anniversary to you and your H!

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR, LPD, unexplained

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IUI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Letrazole, IUI, progesterone, all the vitamins and supplements

How are things going?: They're going. I had a CD 10 ultrasound today. Bad news is that I only had 1 follicle. Good news is that it's already at 15.5 mm and my lining is about a 6. Waiting to hear back from my case manager but I think I'll be going back on Thursday for another US. I'm thinking my follicle will be about 18-19 by then, they'll have me trigger that night, and then IUI on Saturday? Last cycle I started surging on my own when my follicle was 18 so I hope that doesn't happen again. If this cycle doesn't pan out, I'm going to pay out of pocket for the higher dosing of Letrazole. We'll have one more chance/cycle left before our IVF consult.

Any questions?: My H asked me if it's worth it to still do IUI with only 1 follicle. I said of course, all you need is 1, right?

GTKY: as we approach Labor Day and the "end" of summer - what is your favorite part of this past summer? and/or you looking forward to something in the next two weeks? I feel like we haven't really had our summer weather yet. We're finally starting to heat up. Hoping for some more pool days and baseball games.

bearmomma1

Never mind, they want me to come back in on Wednesday instead. My work week this week is making it almost impossible to make these appts, but thankfully they were able to schedule me for a 7am. I wonder if my guestimations will still be correct on the timing of the trigger and IUI. We will see!

gingermama29

Updating that it is confirmed that this is my period. So we’re doing another Letrozole and trigger cycle.

@bearmomma1 glad you were able to get an earlier appt. FX for that one follicle to be the lucky one for you!

anniemarie887

Diagnosis (if you've been): uncooperative uterus/RPL, TBD?

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): benched for eternity

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): i have taken a massive break from taking vitamins whilst benched and just realized i should probably start those back up. preop is 8/25, and 8/30 is hysteroscopy with goal to remove whatever is inhabiting my uterus. i'll sneak in an acupuncture session on 8/26, too. 

How are things going?: in the land of TTC? meh. talk to me next week when i have pre-op and can hopefully begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. on a personal level? OH EM GEE! my parents were able to get tickets for Adele's residency in Vegas and got me one for my birthday. i am just SQUEEEEE. i teared up, and i do not cry about things. my parents are going, it's actually on their 40th wedding anniversary which is so sweet. either my little sister will tag along as my +1 or my best friend from college. TBD on if little sis wants to go.

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: as we approach Labor Day and the "end" of summer - what is your favorite part of this past summer? and/or you looking forward to something in the next two weeks? our trip to Paris and London, as much of an utter nightmare the process of getting there was i'm just so happy MH and I got to take a trip just the two of us, no family/friends, love them, but also loved it just being us. and of course, Adele. 

editing bc i sat on this for like 2 hours

@kiki047 i totally get the wanting to give your body break and i hope this provides some well needed physical and mental healing for you.
@gingermama29 big hug lady, i'm sorry. that really effing blows. happy anniversary, i hope you can do something nice. is that the next steps you were hoping for?
@bearmomma1 i totally agree, all you need is one! i hope on thursday, ahem wednesday! you go in and see a perfectly cooperating body/uterus/ovary! 

gingermama29

@anniemarie887 it wasn’t what we had initially discussed last month but I already have the trigger shot in my fridge from last month that I didn’t need since I O’d naturally on CD 11 so we figured may as well do this one before looking at more aggressive treatment. Yay for a concert ticket!! That sounds so fun! When is it?

anniemarie887

@gingermama29 I think that seems logical, although I truly know the angst that comes with another month. It will be March 2023. So a great time to escape the bitterly gross mid-Atlantic gloom that will have felt like it has gone on too long for 48 hours in the desert. 

optimistgardener

@kiki047 i was just thinking how long it's been since my body has had a chance to really fall into a rhythm of what its own "normal" cycle might be. i don't want to sound too much like "just relax and see what happens" because you know and i know that that is bullsh**, but there is value, regardless of whether it results in getting KU or not, in just giving your body a break from the endless tide of hormones. // also i HEAR YOU on the garden stuff. i'm fairly disappointed about my garden this year. everything is super late (tomatoes still not ripe yet, peppers have yet to ripen, cukes just coming in, i think my squash are a total bust this year because all my vines' female flowers just wither and die on the vine or else get eaten by squirrels whyyyy must my garden reflect my IF life in this respect.....) but i am enjoying what have had success with: basil all day along, my artichokes were great, eggplants galore, potatoes, garlic to infinity and beyond, onions... and the hope and prayer for a good tomato harvest, maybe in a couple of weeks.

@gingermama29 just general hugs, ugh.

@bearmomma1 bummer about the 1 follicle, but here's hoping it's a healthy one and ready to get fertilized.

@anniemarie887 your devotion to Adele is wonderful, i love it.

Diagnosis (if you've been): old and such

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): waiting for September cycle. Currently doing my lil rogue "midway withdrawal bleed" in the midst of this long long BC session they've got me swimming through.

How are things going?: well, it's not much of a withdrawal bleed so far, hardly even spotting. i'm hoping it will seem a little more in earnest tomorrow, and then i'll feel better about putting the new nuvaring in probably wednesday or so. i'll say though, my ovary is hella sensitive right now. probably because, as the nurse said when i had my last baseline u/s for the previous retrieval "your uterus looks like it's been through some things." now that i've taken myself off the BC for a few days, i swear to god i can feel it pinging and popping away in there, waking up as my own hormones revive themselves a bit. hopefully this is not a bad sign for my next retrieval, and hopefully my experiment will not result in my getting a cyst.

Any questions?: nope

GTKY: as we approach Labor Day and the "end" of summer - what is your favorite part of this past summer? and/or you looking forward to something in the next two weeks?

Hmm. this is a challenging question; it's been kind of a weird summer for me for a bunch of reasons. a few things that have been lovely though, have been time with family (since i live in the "family house," everyone comes to me a few times a year, and summer is when the most far-flung members of the fam return); some really excellent morning jogs; and the (at times very challenging) experience of returning to academic writing. it's tough on the ego but it's a good muscle to find myself exercising again.

bearmomma1

@anniemarie887 adele again! how exciting! I'm rooting so hard that the hysterscopy will be a success and that you'll be off the bench soon.

@optimistgardener I hope AF made her grand appearance today. And woah, what an odd/rude comment that nurse made.

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 af is being coy, but i'll reinstall my BC anyway tomorrow morning because i want to make sure everything is fully back under lockdown for my baseline US on the 4th. re: the nurse, i probably misrepresented it here. i thought she was funny, and i agree that at this point, my ovary has basically crawled through a battlefield. she showed me the U/S image on the screen and it had all these half-deflated old follicles from previous cycles, it was almost impossible to see the new follicles coming in. I can only imagine it looks that much rougher after another retrieval has gone by.

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener ha i'm glad you think it's wonderful and not deranged... my love for Adele knows no limit. crossing my fingers that you have a perfectly cooperative uterus for this last ER! 
@bearmomma1 i am also hoping this hysteroscopy means the end of this chapter, and on to something more positive. 

gingermama29

I’m struggling hard with everything right now and made the decision to reach out and find an infertility therapist. I got some great suggestions from a local infertility group on Facebook but of course, none of the suggestions are in network for my insurance. It’s frustrating how hard it is to find someone in that specialty. 

Do any of you do infertility counseling? 

bearmomma1

@gingermama29 I haven’t reached out for infertility specifically, but I did see a baby loss specialist for a while. Non of the specialist I looked up were under insurance and I had to pay Out of pocket. It was insanely expensive. Maybe try seeing a standard therapist for a while and see if they can help? And if it’s not what you’re looking for you could then start reaching out to specialists.

ETA: As for me, my ultrasound today showed my follicle to be 18.3 and my lining at about a 7! I don't think I've ever seen it at a 7! I wonder if it's the L-arginine helping. They want me to trigger tomorrow night and IUI on Saturday. I've been a little crampy today so I'm afraid I'm going to start surging on my own again. I only got to take an OPK with my first pee of the day (which was at 5:30am) and have been at work ever since. I think I'll try to take one when I get home too. The US tech was great and I appreciated her scanning (she really took her time to get the measurements right), but she put sooo much pressure up in my business. Maybe that's why I'm crampy?

anniemarie887

@gingermama29 I wonder if you changed the scope a little to prenatal therapist? Mine was part of a bigger practice of general therapists but she had a prior job as a OBGYN social worker at a hospital. 

@bearmomma1 go ovary/uterus go! But also, like not too fast. Just right!!

elle-0409

@gingermama29 Hugs, friend. I wish that I could see an infertility/RPL therapist. I went to a standard therapist in-network and she was... terrible. TW because she was so terrible and MC talk.

I had to fill out a questionnaire before our session and it asked why I was seeking therapy. I said that I had two MMC's and a history of anxiety. When I got on the video call with her she was like, "I had to Google what a missed miscarriage was, I'd never heard of it before!" And, like, okay. I won't fault you for not knowing that term, but I *do* fault you for telling me that you had to Google the whole reason I'm coming to therapy. Later on she told me that maybe I was having miscarriages because my body didn't want to be pregnant. YUP. I never saw her again. 0/10. I hope that you can find someone kind and helpful.

gingermama29

@bearmomma1 hope you were able to trigger tonight!

@elle-0409 omg I would’ve lost my shit. How unprofessional!? Why is that person even a therapist?? 

I called my insurance company today and the woman I spoke to was super sweet. She sent me some therapists in network but there’s no way to specify infertility as a specialty when you’re searching. None of the ones she sent had that specialty to so I increased the search radius and had over 200 options which was incredibly overwhelming to try and search each one individually to find their specialties. I ended up finding one and calling. She called me back and unfortunately couldn’t take me because I’m not associated with her doctor’s office but she was incredibly kind and gave me much better resources for finding exactly what I was looking for and validated my difficulties. (Psychologytoday.com let’s you search by state and use filters like your insurance and specialty, in case any of you want to look for someone). Long story short, I finally found an infertility therapist in network who is accepting new patients. I called and left a message and hope to hear back tomorrow and that we’ll be a good fit.
It took literal hours of work today though and it should not be this hard to get help when you need it.

acleverusername

*lurking*

@elle-0409 what in the actual eff?!? Holy hell the nerve of some ppl. If you’re up for looking into it again, women’s health appears to be a subspecialty that tends to include therapists who are at least sympathetic infertility. 

@gingermama29 yay! I’m hoping you really click with this IF therapist!

anniemarie887

@elle-0409 that is actually insane. I’m so sorry. 

@gingermama29 psychologytoday.com is actually how I found mine. I hope you can get started soon. 

elle-0409

@gingermama29 Yay!! I’m sorry that it took so much effort on your part, but I’m glad that you found someone. FX that she gets back to you ASAP to schedule an appointment. ❤️

@acleverusername Thanks! I am definitely interested in finding someone new. I’ll check it out!

abjm0325

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, old, unknown

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Clomid, baby aspirin, progesterone, etc.

How are things going?: Not too much going on in TTC world. Just twiddling my thumbs while I'm in between AF and FW. DH and I had a good talk last cycle about me being more open about days I need him to be "ready." So we'll try that next week and see if that makes FW less stressful for both of us. 

Work is still challenging. Changing to a new job is so draining. I hope that if I can stick it out in this uncomfortable space for a few months that it will start to get better. 

Any questions?: Not today

GTKY: as we approach Labor Day and the "end" of summer - what is your favorite part of this past summer? and/or you looking forward to something in the next two weeks? Our beach vacation this summer was pretty great! In the next few weeks I'm looking forward to some mini trips like heading to the state fair. 

abjm0325

@kiki047 I hope the break provides a good reset for your body. I love all the gardening stories on here. I think it is such a great testament to our strong innate desire to nurture and grow things. 

@gingermama29 I'm so glad you found someone that you hopefully will connect with! But you are absolutely right that it shouldn't be that hard to get help when you need it. 

@bearmomma1 I hope that follicle holds on for the trigger for you!

@anniemarie887 What a wonderful birthday present! I enjoy living vicariously through your concerts and travels. 

@optimistgardener I hope the withdrawal bleed ended up working out okay for you. I love when there are family houses that people always gravitate toward! There is a house like that in DH's family and they all have such fond memories attached to visiting it. 

anniemarie887

@abjm0325 i love a good adventure, i'm glad your beach vacation was fabulous and you'll have to keep us posted about the other mini trips! i also love living vicariously through others! 

bearmomma1

You guys, I need your help/advice. Of course my body decided to start surging today. I've called my RE and waiting for further instructions. My case manager thinks I'll still trigger today with IUI tomorrow. They had told us to have sex last night just in case. Of course H and I got in a fight last night and he went and slept in another room. Needless to say, we didn't do the deed. They said only 1 day of abstinence is needed before IUI. Would it make sense to still try and have sex today/this morning? He had to go drop his car off to get serviced and won't get home until 11am or so. Sperm collections are usually at like 7am. So that wouldn't even give him a full 24 hours. He's had great numbers with his sperm so I just don't know what to do. Darnnit body and our stupid fight. Not to mention tomorrow is absolute madness for me at work and I'm not sure how I'm even going to sneak away for 2 hours for an appointment. UGH.

optimistgardener

@elle-0409 just gonna join in with the collective dismay about the therapist who so badly messed up there. that is really horrible. i would say that i would have yelled at her but in truth i would have been quietly shocked but played along out loud, and it would have been awful.

@bearmomma1 oh crap i'm sorry. i remember really clearly how proximity to O seems to ramp up every single point of possible stress and anxiety, and i can hear in your description of your current circumstances that same stress. i used to absolutely agonize about trying to time my IUI or my at-home vaginal insem just exactly right each month. here's my 2¢, bearing in mind that sperm-quality related stuff has never really been in my wheelhouse: if it feels feasible to fit in a sex session this morning and not just stressful, then it seems like a good idea. all the stuff about abstaining before providing a sample is to maximize the quality/count for sperm, especially for guys who have borderline #s or who struggle with multiple ejaculations in a short period of time. that doesn't sound like your guy. one ejaculation close to the 24hr mark before the sample is not going to empty him entirely of viable sperm, and will up your chances of catching the egg. BUT if it's too stressful, don't force it. your IUI will still be well-timed, and you'll still have a good shot at this cycle.

bearmomma1

Thanks @optimistgardener! My RE said the same thing. She said while his sperm count might decrease, his motility will increase.  I just went and picked my H up from work so we could give it a go on his lunch break 😬 Now he has 22 hours to rebuild. Ha The things we do to try and make a baby. 

optimistgardener

the ivf nurse finally called me back yesterday about my question re: should i take a break from my birth control, and was kinda annoyed that i had because apparently i've upped the chances for having a cyst at my baseline. i'm contrite but also, like... it took her almost a week to call me back?! i'm being very sympathetic with my clinic folks this cycle because they've got a really large batch of patients, but sheesh.

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener that's very annoying.

bearmomma1

@optimistgardener ha! a whole week later? that is very annoying. I really hope you don't end up with a cyst. When is your baseline again?

gingermama29

I heard back from the therapist today! I got really good vibes from the initial phone call and she has an opening tomorrow morning so I’m starting then! 

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 not until the 4th, so i am optimistic that w/ nearly three weeks of hormonal control i should be good to go. but we'll see!