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February 2023 Moms
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Old Ladies Having Babies Weekly Check In (Week of 6/20)

LaceyBee522LaceyBee522 member
in February 2023 Moms
Hi guys, as discussed last week, I'm starting a thread for those of us considered "geriatric" or 35+. I've included a few check in questions for this week, but this can obviously evolve into whatever we want.

Age of you and your partner:

Due date: 

Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? 

Any questions for the group? 
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Re: Old Ladies Having Babies Weekly Check In (Week of 6/20)

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  • runningyogimamarunningyogimama member
    Age of you and your partner: I guess I’m barely geriatric, ha! I’m 35 - he’s 34.

    Due date: 2/6

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? We haven’t told anyone, and won’t until 12-ish weeks. I’m more super super nervous about the reactions of us having a 4th - it’ll be a huge surprise to our families and not at all expected. 

    Any questions for the group? Is anyone else nervous about announcing due to possible reactions? I didn’t enjoy the eye rolls and “you know what causes this, right?” that came when we had 2U2, so I’m NOT looking forward to any judgement of having a 4th. 

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  • LaceyBee522LaceyBee522 member
    @runningyogimama OMG, that reaction is infuriating. I haven't gotten it, but if I do, I plan to say: "No, will you explain it to me?" 

    I am worried most about my mom and dad's reactions. They are both adamant that we don't need to have another child because we have the twins. I don't know why they feel like they have a say in our family planning, but my mom (especially) has always been this way. We were at the pool this weekend and a mom I'm friends with is pregnant with her third. At one point her two outside daughters were being a "bit much" and my mom made a comment to her along the lines of "well, wait until you have that third one." So, if my mom feels comfortable saying that to an acquaintance (at best), I can only imagine what I'm gong to get.
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  • PaturkeyPaturkey member
    @LaceyBee522 I am right there with you on the nerves. I have no history of losses or anything else but I am really anxious about this pregnancy because I also feel like there isn't much time left. My SO doesn't have any kids of his own so I really want this baby <3 Also, if I were you I would have given a very annoyed look at that blood draw woman. Aargh.

    @runningyogimama Yes, I am totally aware that I will get some judgement. My partner and I have been together 3.5 years but aren't married and I have an 8-year-old and a 5-year-old from my old marriage. I'm older and I'm sure there are plenty of folks who will think we're nuts for creating a blended family. I'm sorry that you have evidence for the future grief you're going to get.
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  • emeraldisle17emeraldisle17 member
    Age of you and your partner:  Just turned 35 last month, DH is also 35

    Due date:  Feb 5th (ish) until my first dating scan 

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? Haven't told anyone yet as we're waiting, so no offensive comments yet!  But truthfully I live outside a large, northern metro city area where it's not uncommon to have kids later in life. Including many of my cousins who are older and currently pregnant or going through fertility procedures, so not only are comments like this something I'm not expecting (at least in my inner / familial circle) I would also never mention the word geriatric with regards to myself because of all those I know older and trying.  But, we shall see! I will be interested to see if my OB mentions anything at my first appt now that I've entered this new 'category'

    Any questions for the group? 

    @Paturkey strangely the nausea has not hit me with the same intensity this time around like it did with my first two, so that makes me feel both nervous and a little 'lol' that this pregnancy at my oldest has been the best in terms of early symptoms. I also wonder if it's just circumstantial, being that I have 2 young toddlers and I wasn't planning this pregnancy so it's a bit like I'm in survival mode and I haven't really let reality sink it yet. 

    @LaceyBee522 oh boy! I wonder if your mom will recall this pool day and that comment whenever it is that you do tell her!  I think my parents think that I will have more but I know they will be stunned that it's this soon - I honestly cannot even imagine their reaction right now.  And how was fake drinking all weekend?! Saturday night was tough for me, I somehow stuck it out hanging until almost 1am and taking fake sips, pouring it out in the sink when no one was looking and switching DH's empty glass with my own full one when I had the opportunity. Guiltily, I probably consumed close to a full glass of wine total over the course of 8 hours + food...  

    @runningyogimama I don't understand the comments about family planning, either!!  I always knew I wanted my kids to have siblings, so in the same vein I would NEVER ask a friend or a family member with only one kid when they were going to have their second, or why they wanted to raise an only child....never!! It's so nuts to me.

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  • LaceyBee522LaceyBee522 member
    @emeraldisle17 that is what I miss about living in NYC. No one would have bat an eye at me getting pregnant at 40 if we still lived there. At my first fertility clinic visit (here in Missouri), the doctor commented  how difficult it will be for me to carry a pregnancy at my age. It was a very WTF moment.
    Also - well done on the fake drinking. Mine ended up being much lower stress than I anticipated. My family was outside when I was "making drinks" so there was very little acting. At lunch on Saturday, I ordered a vodka soda with my parents, then basically took fake sips and let it melt. Like you, I'm sure I consumed a little of it, but hopefully not enough that it impacts anything.
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  • seeds_of_joyseeds_of_joy member
    My husband and I will be 41 at the end of this year. We went to high school together but weren't friends then.

    I'm due February 21st and usually about 1 week early.

    Nobody knows yet. This is my second time as an "old lady". My youngest was born when we were 36. 
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  • seeds_of_joyseeds_of_joy member
    @runningyogimama I am more concerned with judgy comments about how many we have also. Thankfully we have a very supportive group of friends. It's just so e people's mothers... 😜
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  • LaceyBee522LaceyBee522 member
    @angbaby83 I started my current job when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. I didn't end up telling my boss until I was into my second trimester because I was so worried about her reaction. She ended up being fine with it and was really supportive. The tough part was, I didn't qualify for maternity leave with the company yet. So, I ended up taking unpaid leave for a lot of it. Be sure you check into your benefits. 
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  • cpk3535cpk3535 member
    Age of you and your partner: I’m 41 and my husband is 43. I’ll be 42 when baby is here.

    Due date: February 14th at the moment- Valentine’s Day, my least favorite holiday, lol!

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? 
    Not yet, but I’ve only told a couple of people. I’m guessing none of my family will say anything offensive to my face, but they might talk behind our backs. I’m almost positive Kaiser will say something amazing to me- more to come on that!


    Any questions for the group? I’m looking at jobs also, I was on a contract that expired last month and now I’m on unemployment. My husband is on the brink on a new job that might mean I don’t have to work (at least for the time being). Do you think I should continue working through pregnancy just for the savings or just not worry to hard about it? My friend might be able to help me land a remote job, but it’s in PR, so pretty time consuming. I’m really on the fence. 

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  • angbaby83angbaby83 member
    @LaceyBee522 thanks for that feedback. Yeah I looked at my benefits and won’t really qualify until I’ve been there a year so that is a bummer. Not sure what we’re going to do.  


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  • laurenmicheleylaurenmicheley member
    Age of you and your partner:
    Both of us are 36

    Due date: 
    LOL internet says 2/15, but will be earlier. 

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? 
    No, I live in a NYC suburb so it’s pretty common for people here. 

    Any questions for the group? 
    Who else is pretty much dying of exhaustion by 2:30pm?
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  • runningyogimamarunningyogimama member
    @cpk3535 What I personally would do, is try to stick it out where you’re at for as long as possible during pregnancy (unless it’s bad for your mental or physical health) to have that bit of savings, then you can take as much time as you want/need after giving birth for however many months or a year or whatever that is for you, and then look for something new remote, since there are so many remote positions available now.

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  • Britt2461Britt2461 member
    Age of you and your partner: I just turned 35 he’s 33. 

    Due date: I think 2/12

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? Not directly but I work with some younger girls and one recently said I want to be done having kids by 30 so I’m not an old mom 😂

    I have a 6 year old and we tried for 3 years for a second. We finally had to do ivf 3x to get here. No one can tell us why I couldn’t get pregnant but here we are. 
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  • bunner33bunner33 member
    Turning 37 in a week, my first baby and just over 5 weeks in. I must be super in tune with my body because I knew I wa a pregnant before I could even test. I’ve had cramping and pulling and last week I was so tired I would just come home and crash. My question is: I feel like I’m already growing a tummy but am very active and keep a clean diet. I have increased my water intake so I’m not exactly sure if it’s normal or not so early on? The dang thing is the size of an Appleseed!
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  • seeds_of_joyseeds_of_joy member
    I just remembered the rudest thing someone ever said to me regarding age and babies. She said people shouldn't be allowed to have kids after 30. She was part joking but she kept insisting that's how it should be because she prefered having them young. I had 4 of my kids after 30 and I know she knew that. 
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  • cpk3535cpk3535 member
    @seeds_of_joy Whoa, hello, rude!! People need to lay off and think about what they’re saying before they say it. I believe that’s called “diarrhea of the mouth”, lol

    @bunner33 Funny you mentioned that- I’m feeling the same way, especially today. I really eat clean and drink tons of water, yet I’m starting to feel really bloated already. I’m at 6 weeks tomorrow by the date of my LMP. Last baby took a while to show much. We’ll see, I guess!
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  • PaturkeyPaturkey member
    @angbaby83 Congrats on the new job! I personally would want to wait until second tri to tell a new employer. I'm waiting to tell mine even though I know it will impact the whole team's teaching schedule next winter but we'll have time to plan that in September.

    @cpk3535 I would be inclined to do more work during pregnancy so that you could feel more relaxed financially taking time off with baby. Is there the possibility of the doing the PR part time so it's not so time consuming? FX for YH on the potential job!
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  • emy162emy162 member
    Hi everyone!!

    We are both 35, will be 36 at due date. We live in Denver and it is currently just the 2 of us (plus 2 lovely cats) 

    Due date is 2/13.

    We had a miscarriage in February earlier this year - I am feeling so much anxiety!

    I've only told close friends I am pregnant, so I haven't heard rude comments luckily!  I have heard rude comments in the past... When I was 30 and single my male boss made a comment about not wanting to wait too long bc of biology 🙄  it has bothered me ever since!

    Question... Has anyone camped before in a 2nd trimester? I have camping trips planned in Colorado in August and September and I'm not sure if I'm being naive about how unenjoyable that might be LOL.  The sites are only short hikes from the car, and I'll be mostly peeing outside :)  
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  • angbaby83angbaby83 member
    @emy162 it depends. Many people will tell you second trimester is the best. Most of the fatigue and nausea are gone by then and you aren’t uncomfortable like the 3rd trimester. For me however I’m just uncomfortable the whole time. But I probably would still go because I love camping. 
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  • thisisamberthisisamber member
    Age of you and your partner: 39 (me) 40 (him)

    Due date: Feb 13

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? Not yet, but we have also kept the news to ourselves. We’ve suffered from recurrent pregnancy losses over the last year and don’t want to preemptively share the news. Last time around we ended up telling my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law, who he and his wife were expecting at the same time and are due this September. It was pretty rough having to go back and tell them that we had suffered a loss.We may share the news after the first ultrasound which is expected on June 30 with a gentle warning to be cautiously optimistic as things can go sideways at any time. 
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  • PaturkeyPaturkey member
    @emy162 I haven't camped while pregnant but I think it would be doable if you are a camper. Make sure you have a supportive thermarest so your hip isn't digging into the ground when you're on your side, and keep a headlamp handy for midnight pee breaks. If you're going to be doing any hiking I can't recommend a belly support wrap enough! I have done quite a bit of pregnant hiking/running in the past and having the brace really, really made it more comfortable.
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  • TInman87TInman87 member
    Age of you and your partner: I'm 34 but will be 35 in September, DH just turned 39

    Due date: As of right now its 2/23

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? Not yet, I don't think it'll be an issue as several of my closest friends haven't started their families yet.

    Any questions for the group? For those that have been in this "club" with prior pregnancies, what can we expect different with our appointments?
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  • LaceyBee522LaceyBee522 member
    @TInman87 I've only ever been a "geriatric" pregnancy, but my age the first time around was also 35. The main difference (that I can tell) is that they took any potential complications much more seriously. For example, I had high blood pressure a little over half through last time and they hospitalized me for pre-eclampsia (even though I never had PE). They explained they were just being cautious because of my age.
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  • cpk3535cpk3535 member
    @TInman87 My second pregnancy was geriatric while my first was high risk (medication). I felt like for my geriatric pregnancy, I had a TON of ultrasounds, like more than necessary. It was fine, because we got to see Ellie a lot before she showed up in person, but it was a little excessive, lol 😂
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  • seeds_of_joyseeds_of_joy member
    @TInman87 there was no difference for me at 36. I had a homebirth with a midwife though. Nothing about me was high risk either and the only factor of concern was my age. I don't think it's necessarily a concern by itself though. I'll be 5 years older this time so I'm unsure of what my midwife will suggest.
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  • emeraldisle17emeraldisle17 member
    @TInman87 this is my first 'geriatric' pregnancy at 35 (my first two were at 31 and 33).  I had my first appt with my same OB yesterday and meant to ask about any differences but forgot, but my OB didn't mention anything about it, either. I think like @seeds_of_joy said, they will will consider your age with regards to any complications, but if your PG seems standard I don't know if you *should* expect too many differences...
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  • knottie31073ea0f5141cebknottie31073ea0f5141ceb member
    Age of you and your partner: I’m 38 and husband is 34

    Due date: 2/24/23

    This will be my first, but I had an ectopic pregnancy last year. Praying all is well with this one.
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  • runningyogimamarunningyogimama member
    @TInman87 I just had my first appt today, and she said that turning 35 didn’t make my odds of everything go up all of a sudden overnight vs my previous pregnancies, and it’s just a very slight increase of risk of pre-e (which she recommends starting baby aspirin for for everyone over 35 in the second trimester), and an extra ultrasound or two the last trimester. 

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  • samd6samd6 member
    Age of you and your partner: 37 & 38 (we will be 38 & 39 at birth)


    Due date: 2/23? But I have a history of pre-e so am anticipating giving birth at 37 weeks like all the times before 😂

    Has anyone said anything particularly funny (potentially offensive) since finding out you're pregnant at this "advanced age"? Not yet but also like many others my concern is rude comments about the number of kids more than my age. 

    Any questions for the group? None right now. Like I said, I have a history of pre-e so if anyone has questions about that I’m happy to talk through it. I also have a clotting disorder and take Lovenox injections during pregnancy so if that comes up, I got you too! 
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  • TInman87TInman87 member
    @runningyogimama Good to hear! They have been checking my blood every 3 days this time around, which they've never done before. But I had an early mc in 2020 so I'm not sure if this is because of that or my age :smile:  After my blood draw on Monday if everything still looks good they are scheduling an ultrasound, which they also didn't do the first time around until 8 weeks!
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  • LaceyBee522LaceyBee522 member
    @knottie31073ea0f5141ceb I'm so sorry about your loss last year.  <3

    When you get a chance, be sure to intro on the Introductions thread and update your username, so we can all get to know you. 
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  • kls33145kls33145 member
    edited June 2022
    @Puddlewonderful Girl, yes! The symptoms are fierce this time around, and weren’t with my previous two. 
    I can’t suck in anymore either….our bodies clearly know what they’re doing and apparently want to be early to the game 😂
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  • runningyogimamarunningyogimama member
    @Puddlewonderful I’m also expecting our families to assume this was a “whoops” because we’ve never made it known we wanted 4 kids (no one’s business!), and we did get ride of a lot of stuff after #3 (we already had a decent age gap, so it didn’t make sense to me to hold onto it all since it was old and taking up a lot of space, and we were moving, knowing if we had a 4th it would be a few years - I don’t do babies close together in age well). 

    @kls33145 I developed hypothyroidism after my last baby postpartum - my OB was actually super unconcerned since my levels have always been controlled on meds - it was just coming in for a little earlier blood test (and I believe testing a few more times to monitor throughout to make sure medication doesn’t need adjusted).

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