Weekly Randoms w/o 6.6

optimistgardener

optimistgardener

there are so many peggy posts these days it's really hard to hunt back through our board to find, for example, our most recent chart stalk/questions thread.

let me know if i missed anything in the threads i started this week. leaving TTCAL and TFAS for the folks that are active in those convos.

mambo5-2

@optimistgardener I was literally going to come post the same thing, I got TFAS and TTCAL, it was a dig to find them. 

ejoseph16

Thanks, ladies! I was going to start us up when I got home, but you beat me to it! 

bearmomma1

For anyone else who Pelotons, anyone else feeling majorly triggered by them lately? So many pregnancy announcements recently…

kiki047

@bearmomma1 yuuup, I had to unfollow them on IG and just generally avoid their posts. I'm sure someday I'll come to appreciate the pre/post-natal classes they've been working on but for now it's just extremely triggering and I've added it to my list of excuses why I haven't been back on the Pelo-train in months  

optimistgardener

i have reported this morning's peggy with all the pics. heads up to anyone looking to keep their breakfast down that they should not open it

gingermama29

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

ejoseph16

O…M…G… why did I even look? 🤮🤮🤮

optimistgardener

@ejoseph16 you can't say i didn't warn you!

ejoseph16

@optimistgardener fair point! I read it and was like “no way is it black!” But nope, she proved me wrong. WTAF?! Why are you not calling your doctor?! 

optimistgardener

@ejoseph16 i did my usual tactic of mostly covering my eyes and then scrolling through really fast so i just get the gist, and that was enough to know that i did NOT need to slow down and look at anything in any more detail. why tf would she think we would want to see that. like, even over on all the other ttc forums where bad behavior is normalized, surely that kind of thing is beyond the pale?

optimistgardener

as a palette cleanser i'm just watching my weekly randoms gif on repeat over and over again. cmooooon BG, come do your thing and delete that post

bbrahmbhatt

So, I did not heed your warning...and I REALLY should have. I just ate too. 

mambo5-2

Also did not heed the warning.....

Paturkey

Wow! Sounds like I missed something terrible. I'm not mad about it.

iiirene

omg whatever photos were there sound truly horrific! Glad I missed that one. 

kiki047

Spoiler alert, it was a deconstructed, very saturated, used tampon, and some TP. WHY. People are so goddamn entitled these days. Go to the goddamn doctor, why would anyone think you can crowdsource information from internet strangers on a public forum about bodily fluid? WTAF?

acleverusername

I'm gonna post here because I haven't posted in either TTCAL or IF this week and I just need to vent. Just had THE WORST conversation with my sister. Here's me giving a summary to my bestie about it

And here's the follow-up with my sister by text. 

PS Kayla is the name of a friend who told me "just to be patient" earlier this year when I posted on SM about our infertility struggle, and then proceeded to tell me how hurt she was when I told her that "patience has nothing to do with it" then removed her comment. It took her 10 weeks for her to conceive her child. 

Paturkey

@acleverusername I am absolutely raging. How incredibly ignorant and self-centered (and self-congratulatory? convinced she's right?) your sister is being. I am so sorry that you don't have good family support from her. For me it's the: (I paraphrase) "Well, I think you should do it this way because that's what *I* think so if you're not going to do what *I* think you should and instead you're going to listen to all these "groups" or whatever, I have nothing to say to you about it anymore. ::Huffs in self-righteousness::" Sending you hugs, friend.

ejoseph16

@acleverusername wow… I am so sorry. I can’t imagine my sister saying things like that to me. I love how she actually says she knows nothing about it, then tells you she “believes the science of medicated cycles”. Wow, just wow. Hugs…

stormageddon-darklordofall

@acleverusername I'm so sorry I am in the same boat about the unsupportive/don't know how to support me family.  I've also sent them articles and posted on FB many 'informative' type articles. My family has also told me they aren't going to talk to me anymore about it/things because just like yours, apparently they refuse to attempt to read anything that could help them be supportive.  They'd rather just say "I don't know how to talk to you" and give opinions and 'advice' that is more hurtful than actually bothering to learn anything.  *sigh*  It really sucks not being able to talk to family about things, but I personally found it easier to just only mention the basics to them anymore.  I've found more supportive outlets elsewhere, and it's always a heartache/struggle to mention anything to my family even now.  (My mother still thinks I should 'just keep trying again and again, and change your mindset') Total suck-fest.  I'm sorry.

kiki047

@acleverusername uggghhhh I am also raging for you, WTAF?! Also, as if she threw that in your face about your relationship with your parents too, so catty. Talking about the weather... as if she's any kind of meteorologist either. ::EYEROLL:: Ain't no empathy in any of those words, sister. 

bearmomma1

@acleverusername I’m so sorry. People are so fortunate to not understand the struggles of infertility and loss. I think a lot of people who haven’t been through it just have no idea or concept on how to relate and usually do more harm than good when trying. And some people just suck. 

My brother made a comment to my H about why I hadn’t gotten over the loss of our son yet. It had been less than a year. He also never reached out when he first passed. 

mambo5-2

@acleverusername I am so sorry.  I would like to tittie punch your sister. 

acleverusername

Thank you for your solidarity and support guys. I really needed it.

bbrahmbhatt

@acleverusername ugh I'm disgusted for you. The self-righteousness of your sister, when she very clearly has no idea what she is talking about is beyond me. Also kinda blaming you for your struggle because of your age?! Like WTAF. And if one more person says "It will happen when it is meant to happen" after getting pregnant in less than six months I will LOSE my shit. I'm so sorry friend, sending you hugs. 

optimistgardener

just popping in here to say that getting pregnancy test ads on insta complete with blissfully happy parents-to-be staring at two clear lines is not how i want my mindless scrolling to be brought to a screaming halt.

Paturkey

@optimistgardener Instagram is the worst for inappropriate ads. Grrrr.

abjm0325

Cereal anyone?

https://wchstv.com/amp/news/offbeat/uterus-shaped-period-crunch-cereal-hopes-to-normalize-menstruation-conversations-intimina-maxi-pad-tampon-uteri-raspberry-breakfast-table-discussions-intimate-health-milk-turns-red

kiki047

@abjm0325 LOL OMG. I'm all for normalizing period talk but really? 

In keeping with the topic of having hard conversations with family/loved ones in general... What do you guys do about toxic positivity? 
Some context: MIL knows we did another transfer last week, and also obviously knows we're grieving still, so she asked how we were doing the other day. When MH was honest that we were sad and anxious and worried, her answer was "Just be positive. I know it's hard, but at least try." Seriously?! I was so triggered/annoyed I said nothing at all and just let the two of them go back and forth in our group chat, then I changed the subject. I'm fucking sorry that I'm sad that my cat died, the cat that I've known and loved for 9 years longer than I've even known my MIL I might add, but "at least try" to be positive? 

mambo5-2

@kiki047 I like to remind people that feeling sad and anxious are normal feelings that and that we (I) acknowledge all feelings in a healthy and appropriate way and my current feelings are mine and that they should not be telling me how to feel. 

abjm0325

@kiki047 Some people want so badly for everything to always be normal and to never have to deal with the messy emotions of actually living. I think most people suck at knowing how to sit with someone else in their grief unless they have been through it (and sometimes not even then). I think a gentle reminder that people grieve differently and that your feelings are valid would not be out of line here. 

bearmomma1

I've straight up just said to people "my dad died/my son died/my dog died (or all of the above) and I'm fucking sad, and that's ok.

Grumpy Monkey is a good book on learning that being grumpy is ok sometimes, and knowing that it's ok can help people feel a bit better.

iiirene

I often have to remind my mom that I don’t need her to try to fix it or offer solutions. Sometimes you need a good pity party and that’s all. 

mambo5-2

Fun fact when I worked in the high school and kids would come into my office I would often ask, do you want me to try to fix it or just listen.  It was a very healthy therapeutic technique. 

wunderkai

@optimistgardener and on that note pinterest is the absolute worst as well about those targeted ads. I couldn't go on for a few months *trigger*

after my mmc and had already begun pinning nursery ideas very early. They would not stop popping up even after I kept telling them not to show me any pins regarding pregnancy.  

acleverusername

@optimistgardener @wunderkai Facebook is also terrible and "not getting it." I've marked a bunch of stuff as "inappropriate" but still the pregnancy stuff keeps rolling in. 

@kiki047 *hugs.* I think we as society shame feelings of anything but joy, happiness, etc. Remember when Facebook was about "one upping" all your friends; only posting photos of your smiling family. It's gotten way better now, but the attitude around always having to "put on your best face" and swallow/bury your true feelings hasn't. 

Since I don't give many f*cks right now, I'm straight up telling ppl how I feel. A very got colleague of mine got let go and a bunch of senior managers / HR have reached out to me asking how I'm doing and I said "I'm effing bummed."

mambo5-2

I am so tired and I would like the stormy weather to go away.  Its giving me a headache, plus stims are giving me a headache.  I am tired. 

wunderkai

@mambo5-2 hopefully you can catch up on some sleep this weekend?