IF Testing & Treatment 5-2

optimistgardener

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ballgame. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been): 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/WFAF/benched): 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): 

How are things going?: 

Any questions?: 

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite?

abjm0325

Diagnosis (if you've been): TBD (starting next week!) – some combo of old and losses

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/benched): WFAF (I just had to be difficult and not choose one of the newly expanded categories 😉)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): First RE appointment is on 5/9. I know it will just be talking and ordering some tests, but I’ll be glad to get that ball rolling.

How are things going?: Meh. Really had hoped the RE appointment would be unnecessary (obviously), but glad to have the next plan in sight since the low dose letrozole hasn’t made a difference. I’ll be curious what their first suggestions will be.

Any questions?: I’ve learned a lot from lurking, but anything in particular I should definitely do or ask for the first RE visit?

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite? I am the worst with houseplants. I am staring at a succulent on my work desk right now and can’t remember the last time I watered it. It just completely slips my mind to take care of them. Wow, that makes me sound like I would be parent of the year, haha. It’s only plants, I swear!

mambo5-2

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, MFI, Possible Funky Blood

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/benched): Benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Absolutely Nothing. Waiting for AF

How are things going?: I have a feeling this is going to be a really long cycle.  Just a feeling

Any questions?: no

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite?  We are not plant people.  We did get a venus flytrap to help with the flies.

optimistgardener

@abjm0325 i liked the idea of adding WFAF to our list so much that I've added it.

anniemarie887

Diagnosis (if you've been): uncooperative uterus... aka RPL/TBD

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/WFAF/benched): benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): well, May, here we are. you felt so far away back in March, but alas, i am two weeks out from the RE appt. Shady Grove has had all of my and MH labs for like a week and no one has called to set up a f/u... would not recommend them after this.

How are things going?:  TW for testing down HCG and bleeding

so, i had a full like 6 day bleed. went and did my HCG this morning and i (who obvs has no medical degree) is choosing to feel confident that there is going to be a massive drop, i am not expecting 0 since i was still bleeding but i feel weirdly confident there should be a big drop. 

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite? so i saw an article the other day that said fiddle leaf fig trees are out, but whatever... i love mine. and i've had her for almost 6 years!!! i also have an orchid at work that is on it's 3rd bloom, i've never been able to keep an orchid alive until this one, it's been a year. 

@abjm0325 eh plants don't talk! lol i've kept many plants alive and also killed my fair share. so no judgment. 
@mambo5-2 i hope it isn't a long cycle for you!

mambo5-2

@abjm0325
I also kill all of the plants.

@anniemarie887
FX for a big drop, I will join you in positive thinking!

kiki047

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, RPL/RIF, a wee bit of MFI 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/benched): Ah I still don't fit into any of these categories so ... WFFET 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Microdose lupron downreg FET protocol, currently 2 weeks into BCP

How are things going?: If I'm being honest, not good. Not good at all. Physically, I'm bleeding through the BCP again, which has been known to happen in the past. I usually have a withdrawal bleed 3-4 days after my ERs, and then a period 13-16 days after that. I had forgotten about the second bleed coming so soon after the first one so when I went in for my appt about 5 days after my ER, I started BCP then but now I realize I probably should've waited 2 more weeks. Anyway, I emailed the nurses and they don't seem to think it matters but it just means that I'm all hopped up on BCP (the devil pill) and PMS hormones, which means I'm an emotional wreck. Spoilering the rest because I'm just rambling on, but TLDR: It's been a stressful weekend of a lot of commitments back to back to back and I'm having a mental breakdown. 

I forced myself to go to 2/5 days of my cousin's bachelorette weekend, which was fine but I was really just there for "Mom" and designated driver duties, making meals and cleaning up after them and driving them around. There's only a 6 year age difference but most of them are very much still in the party animal phases of their lives and I'm definitely not (dunno if I ever was, tbh). I felt entirely uncool and out of place and I missed MH who I admittedly have only ever spent a handful of nights away from in the entire duration of our relationship. I left early to come home for a family funeral (on MH's side) which was emotional. Then last night I had to host a client event for 50 people and put on a fake smile and lie my way through all the "How are you"s and "What have you been up to"s as if I didn't lose 2 babies and have 4 other failed transfers in the last 2 years. We really haven't socialized a whole lot during the pandemic so this felt like a marathon of just too much social interaction and I'm super overwhelmed. I ugly cried most of the weekend when I wasn't faking it. 

I also took a real beating on social media with last week being National Infertility Awareness Week. Usually it feels empowering to see so much awareness being raised on "my" (our?) behalf, knowing I purposely don't participate because I don't have the capacity to deal with the aftermath. But it just seemed like everywhere I turned it was either pregnancy or baby announcements, or else a barrage of really hard, raw, emotional posts about the dark underbelly of infertility and loss, then to cap it all off was Sunday's Bereaved Mother's Day and actual Mother's Day is looming next weekend... I told MH I just want to hide under the covers and wake up a couple days after it's all over. I even deleted FB off my phone. Motherhood just feels so entirely out of reach and unattainable right now and while I have many mothers in my life who absolutely deserve to be cherished and celebrated, I also have never felt so invisible and inconsequential in my non-motherhood and all I can do about it is cry. 

Oh, and did I mention I got my usual post-IVF cold sore yesterday? I had been taking L-Lysine as a preventative measure but since my weekend was such a shit show I didn't take any of my vitamins or supplements all weekend, only the few things that were absolutely necessary like my BCP. I think it was inevitable but it's just the icing on the crap cake that is my life right now.

Any questions?: Nope.

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite? Well, my orchids are in full bloom right now so they're kind of showing off and I'm loving it, but I'm also a sucker for any kind of variegated plant - I have a sexy philodendron birkin that has the prettiest leaves. I think I found a spot in the house that my red prayer plant likes too, so it's looking a lot happier and is very showy when the leaves are fully open.

kiki047

I just want to add that "Benched" means that you are not medically cleared or able to try, NOT that you're just infertile and think you are unable to get pregnant without intervention. Benched is not the same as TTA (Trying To Avoid) because TTA insinuates that you're actively using contraception in order to prevent pregnancy because you're recovering from surgery, or you have known genetic issues such as a translocation that requires IVF with PGT-M or PGT-SR testing, etc. Benched is to be used in circumstances like you're in HCG purgatory following a loss, or on BCP between cycles (which is also a bit of a grey area because in cases where BCP is part of an IVF protocol I would consider that part of an active cycle even if it seems counterintuitive), or BCP leading up to surgery such as a myomectomy/polypectomy or endo excision or ablation surgery. Benched is not the lull between treatment cycles, that's just No (wo)Man's Land as far as IF goes. Besides, we've had more than a few people who have had spontaneous natural pregnancies in between ART/IVF cycles who might've otherwise considered themselves benched because they didn't think they could get pregnant on their own. I think it's extremely important to make that distinction because while we might all feel like we're benched while we're waiting to start another or a new IVF cycle, that's not the definition of what benched is and we can't compare that wait with the pain of being intentionally sidelined. 


@abjm0325 I hope this week goes better for you than last week   This thread is old but still totally relevant and has a great list of types of questions you should ask at your first RE Appt. Good luck! My advice is to go in with a list of questions written down because your mind will go blank in the moment, and not to feel like you can't ask questions or for clarification when you need it, and to write things down as you go as well because you'll forget it later. 
@mambo5-2 I hope this cycle doesn't end up being as long as you think it will be. 
@anniemarie887 Everything crossed for a big drop. FX FX. Also, I have a lot of plants but fiddle leaf figs always sounded high maintenance so I've never attempted to buy one and/or keep it alive. They sure are pretty though. And if they're out of style, someone needs to tell Costco Canada because people still go crazy for them up here, even the fake ones.

abjm0325

@mambo5-2 Hopefully you’re wrong about the really long cycle, but I know WFAF can be a real drag.

@anniemarie887 Sounds weird to say but I hope the bleeding is a good sign! Fingers crossed that you see a big dip in the HCG this time.

@kiki047 Sending you so many hugs, friend. That is a lot to deal with. Ramping up social interaction is a really exhausting thing, and having to deal with faking happiness makes it so much worse. I hope you are kind to yourself this week and that this weekend can slip by quickly for you. Know that we see you and we’re here for you however you need.

anniemarie887

@kiki047 i am exhausted on your behalf after reading about you social calendar. also, dear god, a 5 day bachelorette? i've done my fair share of 3 day weekend ones (including my own) but 5 days is a legit vacation and i'm not sure i would give up that time for someone's bach party. i know you're still in the tail end of tax season, but any hope for some rest and relaxation this week/end? your feelings are totally valid and i am just giving you the biggest creepy internet stranger hug b/c nothing i can say will "fix" it. i hope your hormones give you a break asap, it's a cruel beast what our bodies put us through. and girl, if you can keep orchids going you can def keep a fiddle going. lol! 

@abjm0325 oh it's totally a weird set of emotions, the women i'm close with who knows what's going on have all been like congrats?! and i'm likes YES this does weirdly warrant a congrats!

thankfullyamama

Diagnosis (if you've been):  anovulatory PCOS

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/WFAF/benched): Benched 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  just waiting for the withdrawal bleed from the BCP! I also started taking the metformin a few days ago! 

How are things going?: with this new job and life craziness and being benched I haven’t been thinking too much about TTC too much this past week or so. I’m undecided about how I should let my employer know about doing IF treatments because I’ll need days off to do a monitored cycle if this next unmonitored one doesn’t work!

Any questions?:  for those that do monitors cycled with just times intercourse how many appointments do you roughly have? My clinic said anywhere from 2-4 but I’ll have to take a whole day off and travel for those so it’s hard! I so wish they would let my local health clinic do the ultrasounds and blood work ugh 

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite?  The fake kind that look real lmao 

Edit to add: will be back for tags tonight!

kiki047

@abjm0325 I think I overdid it with the fake enthusiasm today, someone fully called me out on it on the phone LOL. "You're way too chipper for a Monday morning". Yes lady, you're right, this is my fake phone voice, what do you want?
@anniemarie887 yeah it was a marathon of a weekend, of which I hear they spent the latter half of it basically taking turns puking from drinking too much, then proceeding to drink some more. But it was everything the bride-to-be wanted, and it also wasn't Nashville (her original request) so I guess I'm grateful for that? She is also the person that is always taking care of other people and hosting all the parties and taking care of all the details, so I did feel good being able to give back to her in some small way. Even if I didn't care for the drunken debauchery. 


I know the actual answer to this question is neither, but I desperately need some colour before this wedding in 3 weeks because it's been a long frigging winter so my options are spray tan or the dreaded tanning bed. Obviously I know getting a spray tan 10 days before a FET is not the best idea but this is where I'm at. Thoughts? I would be getting it like the 18th or 19th, wedding on the 22nd, and my guess is my FET will be somewhere around June 1-5th? I won't know more until my next monitoring appt on the 17th. 

bearmomma1

@abjm0325 glad to hear your appt is coming up soon! It’s so nice to have some sort of plan..even if it is a plan to make a plan.
@mambo5-2 did the Venus fly trap help with the flies?? We have horrible fly issues in the summer.
@anniemarie887 I really hope the bleeding was what your body needed to drop the hcg. I’m looking forward to a positive update with your latest numbers.
@kiki047 I totally know how you feel this past week and with what Sunday represented. Even if it’s in good thoughts, reading about others who have lost children is triggering just knowing you’re apart of that group. Reading about Infertility awareness week and bereaved Mother’s Day are 2 of the worst groups to be apart of. I’m sorry there’s another day coming up too to add on top of your already fragile emotions. Big hugs friend. 

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR, luteal phase defect 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/WFAF/benched): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): lots of clomid, us, trigger, progesterone 

How are things going?: meh. My ultrasound today showed a 13 mm folicle, which is nice that it’s growing, but SO SLOW. And sad that it’s the only one there. I’m afraid to see what my latest amh count is.  My lining also shrank to 4 mm, after being 8 last week. Follow up us on Thursday, hoping for some progression. Also, my dads celebration of life was yesterday which was a long and taxing day. We took today off of work to recover, which has been great and much needed.

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite? I am the worst house plant person. I kill them all 

thankfullyamama

@abjm0325 goo luck at your appointment! I hope you and the RE jive well!
 

@mambo5-2 hopefully it’s not as long as you think it’ll be! 

@a@anniemarie887 FX there is a huge drop for you! 

@ki@kiki047 oh wow that is A LOT to taken in. Good for you for deleting the apps off your phone that are cashing you more pain than not. Hopefully by next week things will be looking up for you. I’ve also felt like there was a LOT of super deep emotional raw posts for both IFAW and bereaved Mother’s Day I had to stop myself from reading too many posts because it just made my guts swirl in empathy for anyone going through it. Its good for people to put it out there, for others to know how truly horrifying it can be and also probably as a coping mechanism for themselves but you can also only consume so much grief stories before they start to consume you if you know what I mean. All in all this last bit for you sounds very understandably hard to have gone through so internet hugs! Also why no spray tan before a FET!? 

@bea@bearmomma1 I’m so sorry things are progressing slowly for you! 

anniemarie887

I haven’t talked to my OBGYN yet… but my labs dropped in about an hour ago… 18!!! EIGHTEEN! There actually might be a light at the end of the tunnel. 

acleverusername

*lurking*
@abjm0325 also recommend this article on prepping for your visit with the RE: https://modernfertility.com/blog/first-fertility-clinic-appointment/. If you'd like, I'll be happy to examples of question sheets I had prepared for my various RE visits. Just DM me. 

Also, this article got shared in my Resolve WhatsApp group and I really wanted to re-share since it tugged on so many strings: https://cupofjo.com/2022/05/infertility-essay/

optimistgardener

firstly, @anniemarie887 i'd raise a glass with you in celebration of your dropping HCG#s! That's fantastic news!

@acleverusername thanks as usual for your sharing of great resources.

I want to join in here with @kiki047 re: how we define "benched." it's important to me that this not just be a catch-all category for anyone not actively trying in a given month.
benched means unable to try, usually for medical reasons (HCG purgatory, waiting for or recovering from surgery, anovulatory and not receiving some form of treatment). [Kiki, I think we may have slightly differing opinions here re: recovering from surgery. To my mind, that's still benched rather than TTA, since it's often medically dangerous to get pregnant during recovery, for example after a myomectomy.] If there's any chance that someone might conceive in a given cycle, even if the likelihood is vanishingly slim, that's not benched. If there's any chance that sperm might meet egg, again, not benched. Benched is also often relevant for us single and/or queer folk who have no access to sperm except during treatment cycles (I have, as those who've been around for a while know, occasionally availed myself of the kindness of a donor friend between official treatment cycles, during which time I hang in the dailies and am definitely not benched).
If someone is preparing for a treatment cycle (on BCPs in preparation for a retrieval, for example), or if you're waiting for a withdrawal bleed after a failed cycle but anticipate moving into another round of treatment either immediately or within short order, that too is not benched. I don't consider myself benched right now even though I'm not yet doing my retrieval, because I'm actively moving towards a treatment.

@kiki047, I think it would make sense for us to add a category for like, "preparing for FET" and "preparing for retrieval?" anyone else got any thoughts on that?

@bearmomma1 did your doc have any comment on the shrinking lining? i'm so sorry for the disappointing visit and the long wait this cycle.

Diagnosis (if you've been): wrinkly old solitary ovary, endometriosis, bad attitude

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA/WFAF/benched): prepping for retrieval cycle

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): My baseline ultrasound is next week?!!! how did the time sneak up on me like this?

How are things going?: meh, i feel nothing at all about my chances this cycle, albeit maybe occasionally a kind of distant scientific curiosity as to whether my terrible embryo quality statistics will improve this time around or next.

Any questions?: nada

GTKY: I know we have a few gardeners around here but are you a houseplant person? If so, what is your favorite?

I asked this question because i'm trying to revamp my houseplant collection a bit. i've got a lot of kind of mediocre plants that i've inherited from decades of family members (because i live in the "family house"). my favorite though turns out to be an "angel wing" begonia that a friend gave me. i have very mixed feelings about begonias but this one is large and of interesting shape, and seems to stay happy even though i mistreat it.

anniemarie887

Maybe this is far too much of a simplification, but I feel like a gauge for benching is that it’s against the persons will. Like I have no other option but to be benched currently, and it’s not my choice. 

Coming back for some tags

@kiki046 I wasn’t aware spray tans were a no no? A lot of places here have “chemical” free ones, whatever that may mean? Maybe worth looking for a fancy “organic” one. 

@bearmomma1 I’m sorry your uterus is sending mixed signals, sending all the good vibes for her to get her sh*t together!!!
@optimistgardener I am hoping that ovary of yours is the most fabulous, cooperative, happy ovary there ever was! Also, I googled angel wing begonia… she’s a beaut! 

abjm0325

@kiki047 If someone doesn’t have a phone voice, they clearly haven’t been in a position where they had to deal with clients on the phone. If I’m calling you at 8:00 am on a Monday you can assume any chipper is fake. I have been labeled plenty of nice adjectives over the years, but chipper has never been on that list.

 Personal opinion is to get the spray tan if that will make you feel nice. It seems unlikely that it would have any actual effect on the FET especially with it being well before implantation would happen. I’d probably rather spray tan than tanning bed, but just a personal preference.

@tryingtogku What is your relationship with your employer like? If you don’t mind telling them, it might make your life easier than having to keep doing vague time-off requests.

@bearmomma1 I hope you get a better report at your next monitoring appointment! So frustrating when our bodies don’t seem to cooperate with the plan.

@anniemarie887 YAY!!!

@optimistgardener Haha, I love the bad attitude diagnosis. I definitely have that today on CD 1. I hope this cycle proves to be the anomaly in your scientific data with some excellent results. You’re due for above average, right??

thankfullyamama

@anniemarie887 thanks for the clarification for benched!! I’ll ammend mine for WFAF but then would you consider being in BCP with NO treatment plan coming up as benched? Ie waiting for your fertility clinic appt to make a plan etc!

@abjm0325 it’s only my second day! I decided to be transparent and let them know and they were actually super helpful and let me know that this month wouldn’t be good but the month of July would be ok to take a few days off from my training! My supervisor was super sweet and she said a couple other employees are going through it too and that they as an organization always celebrate a baby or the possibility of a baby and don’t hold it against the employee which I thought was a beautiful way of saying they support IF treatments and potential pregnancies! Thankfully at this job I also have paid medical days off which will help counteract the out of pocket costs 


my husband and I both have FULL benefits in Ontario Canada and we only have $5000 combined for fertility medication coverages in a lifetime. Isn’t that sad considering we pay into our benefits? ALSO they didn’t even cover the clomid because our local pharmacy had to compound it lmao 

anniemarie887

@tryingktogku oh by no means am i saying my view is where the buck stops, i think @kiki047 and @optimistgardener have gone into much more detail in a clear, concise way. forgive me, but if you are taking bcp to control you cycle and metformin you are in theory WTO, right? i know you are saying you don't have a treatment plan, but you are actively working on improving your cycle and TTGP, just because you need additional intervention wouldn't be benched. AFM, i am literally told DO NOT TTGP by my dr, and will be for an entire next cycle, and then who knows what the RE will say on 5/16 as for when i can start to TTGP again. i feel like there's a big distinction between our situations, does that make sense? feel free to clarify if i'm interpreting yours wrong. 

thankfullyamama

@anniemarie887 yes that makes sense! I suppose it’ll be a bit of a personal distinction too because I feel like as a person who is anovulatory, and currently taking birth control in an attempt to have a withdrawal bleed to take stims I’m WFAF right now BUT previously when I was taking the BCP for a withdrawal bleed for like testing to go right back on BCP with no active ovulation induction I would consider myself benched in that situation because there is no chance of conception as I have never ovulated in all 26 years of my life without an ovulation induction medication!

kiki047

@bearmomma1 sending those hugs right back at you. I hope the celebration of life went as well as one can hope. 
@tryingktogku "you can also only consume so much grief stories before they start to consume you" AMEN. As for the definition of benched, I would consider BCP to be part of your treatment plan, even if it feels counterintuitive that you're taking an oral contraceptive that prevents pregnancy, when you take it as part of a plan to induce a bleed in order to start a new cycle, that's not benched. If you're just in a lull between appointments and still on BCP while you wait for a new protocol, yes that could be considered benched. I recognized that it's very nuanced but there is a difference. 
@anniemarie887 18!!!!! Ohhh you're so close. 
@optimistgardener lol "bad attitude", yeah, I feel you on that one. That's kinda cool that you have inherited all of the family plants along with the house. I am getting really good at propagating plants so while I don't have any of the original plants from my Nana's vast collection, I do have distant descendants from my years of propagating cuttings (mostly spider plants, lots of jade plants, and just recently I managed to save a few cuttings of an ugly overgrown umbrella tree before it succumbed to old age). 

Thank you @anniemarie887 for the feedback on the spray tan. You can tell how rarely I do these things. I know they're safer than they used to be but it still felt like something that could potentially be minimally absorbed through my skin after I've already gone to such lengths to avoid scents, plastics, preservatives, etc etc etc... but it's generally considered to be safe these days I think? I'm going to try not to make myself crazy over it and just get the spray tan. That's not the singular thing that made me infertile or will make or break this FET. 


Re: the Status options, I feel like we could go either way here - list out ART options like TI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched, or more general categories like WTO/TWW/WFAF/benched? I feel like in the context of infertility, TTA hardly ever applies as that would still fall under the benched category or else those who are TTA tend to fall off the board until they're cleared to try again. As @anniemarie887 pointed out, benched usually implies it's against our will, which again when we think of IF any kind of break feels like it's involuntary. We used to have a specific TTA/benched weekly thread years ago but it was very underutilized. 

And @optimistgardener in re-reading my reply, yes you're right about recovery from surgery, I've seen that go either way. 

anniemarie887

@bearmomma1 also, sorry i didn't acknowledge, but i also hope the celebration of life was more comfort in family and love than grief, i know it's hard.
@kiki047 i'm not a frequent self tanner either precovid maybe 1-2x a year, but i would 100% do it in your situation. one thing you could do as well, is wear a mask during most of it until they do your face (which you hold your breath for anyway) just to cut down on any possible inhaling of the spray. i'd go to a place where a human actually does it vs an automatic booth as well. 

bearmomma1

@anniemarie887 wooohoo 18!! Hopefully by next week they will be 0! Are you doing home PG tests to see the line get fainter?

@optimistgardener No they didn't say anything about the lining. I'm guessing it's the double dose of clomid that shrank it? but where would it have gone? I'll be keeping my fingers and toes crossed for your embryo quality. What's the next step after your baseline US?

And thank you all for your well thoughts. The celebration was wonderful in that so many of the people in his life showed up. But it was just a stark reminder that he's gone. He was the glue that held us all together. I'm not sure I'll ever see many of those people ever again.

Also, total moron distracted move over here: Even though we're monitoring with US, they still want me to OPK once a day by 9am in case I catch a surge. I went pee in my cup around 9:30, turned around and dumped it straight into the toilet before dipping a stick into it. DOH. I think I need to wait at least 2 hours for another try?

acleverusername

*lurking*
@bearmomma1 I've done that before. Don't beat yourself up. 

optimistgardener

For status options, I'd totally be down for the ART alphabet. Maybe we could add ICI (intra-cervical insemination, a common strategy for aspiring SMs, queer couples, and differently-abled couples, basically the "turkey baster method") to @kiki047's excellent list? I spent a bit of time wondering whether the list doesn't offer enough options for those folks who are still sort of entry-level IF, maybe doing testing, etc., but by the time people get to the point of wading into the IF thread, I feel like TI with opks is de regueur, and serves as a decent default option for people not out in the deeper waters. Folks who are doing things the old fashioned way with TI can opt to locate themselves in the WTO/TWW if they see fit to do so, and are likely to be participating in the dailies anyway which would be a more relevant place for a lot of the WTO/TWW-specific chat. I also think it makes sense to drop TTA from the list. There are always going to be occasional situations that don't fit the standard categories. When that happens, an individual can go off script. It just seems like right now the default for most of us is to deviate from the platter of standard options since they rarely serve our purposes, and it should be the other way around.

@abjm0325 i am so, so due for an "above average" cycle. fx

@kiki047 i've been working on propagating another begonia in the house recently, as well. for all my bad attitude about begonias there are a lot of them here, so i'm trying to learn to like them. this one was a favorite plant of my grandmother's, and after a long spell of spindlyness seems to have found a second wind and put out a lot of fresh growth. taking it as a sign to experiment.

@bearmomma1 maybe it is the clomid! i don't actually know the mechanism by which clomid affects the lining; i had always just assumed it was that it somehow slowed or limited growth, not that it actually knocked back a lining already in existence! // As for what's next after the baseline, assuming (I HOPE) that they find no problems (cysts, drastically low antral follicle count, etc.), I will start microdose lupron the next day, and then gonadotropin injections the day after that, with a tentatively scheduled retrieval on the 23rd.

Lots of editing for pretty language.

kiki047

It's been a quiet end of the week here, and I don't know about any of you but I'm fucking exhausted and triggered and traumatized by the news re: Roe v. Wade. I fully recognize that I'm saying this from a place of privilege being Canadian, moderately insulated from the directly harmful effects of what's about to happen for millions of women across the US in the days and weeks to come, but it feels like a personal attack nonetheless. Sending love and holding space for everyone affected by this. These are dark times we're living, and I'm terrified to know what comes next. 

mambo5-2

@kiki047 its been a very heavy week. I don't want to think about.  I'm angry, and stressed and anxious as a RPL person now heading into IVF. 

optimistgardener

same, @kiki047, same. I feel very privileged to live in a state that proudly supports women's human rights, but we border others that do not, and this will be felt by everyone.

bearmomma1

@optimistgardener very true. I read an article about how the CA Planned Parenthoods are already accepting a large influx of out of state patients after the ruling in TX. It's just going to be a massive uptick of those fortunate enough to travel to other states.

bearmomma1

follicle update: almost 17mm! My 1 lonely follicle is taking her time. Slow and steady wins the race though? They actually found a tiny one in my other ovary, which made me happy that it's not completely inactive. My lining is still at a 4-5ish, so they're having me start Estrace suppositories today until Saturday morning, trigger Saturday night, lots of TI over Saturday/Sunday/Monday. Then she said to do the progesterone starting Monday night, but I think if i trigger Saturday night, I won't O until Monday? I think I'll double check and see if she meant Tuesday night. Then hcg blood test scheduled for the 22nd! Phew, feels exciting to to finally be at this stage again.

anniemarie887

@optimistgardener maryland has laws in place to protect, but virginia is one of the states being watched for restrictions, so it will absolutely be impactful here. the amount of explaining i've done in the last few days about how treatment for miscarriages goes and the concerns re availability is just a lot. it's so insane that educated, professional, smart women the same age as myself have no idea why this matters for more than what we think of when we think about abortion.

optimistgardener

@bearmomma1 great news that your follicle is finally growing. so sorry the cycle is turning out to be complicated by the thin lining. hopefully the estrace does its trick. i wonder if that other teeny tiny follicle would recruit for you next cycle (hopefully you won't need a next cycle).

@anniemarie887 i think there are a lot of people who are convinced that this won't affect them directly. It's infuriating.

kiki047

@bearmomma1 rawr time to get it on this weekend girrrllll. Yay for your follicle, hope the estrace does its thing for your lining. 

AFM, started lupron this morning, paying close attention for any side effects... can't be any worse than the BCP Monster, right? (that's me begging, in case you can't hear it in my tone). 

mambo5-2

Come on AF, show up.  Stop just being crampy, do something Uterus

optimistgardener

@mambo5-2 hopefully she kicks into gear soon!

@kiki047 fx the lupron treats you well. I feel you on the birth control. it doesn't actually make me feel ragey or sad, for which I am grateful, but it does make me feel... a little bit dead inside? You are all gonna be like why does she care because she's single so it doesn't matter, but on bc i have essentially no libido, and along with the loss of that side of things, I wind up feeling just generally like a sack of potatoes. I'm over it.

speaking of which... I get to take out my nuvaring on Monday, and my suppression check is Tuesday morning!