After Dark Thread! 3.19

acleverusername

Let's hear it... how do you keep things exciting in the bedroom?
(Haven't done this since Nov 2021, so I figured it's time!)

optimistgardener

i may be single but i have my ways.

https://youtu.be/KFq4E9XTueY?t=44

(link is fairly tame 80s silliness, lest anyone worry)

acleverusername

@optimistgardener girl, spicy!

portentosa

DH and I send each other mood setting music videos and/or explicit gifs all day while we're apart when we're planning to get together that night. Definitely does the trick.

Honestly though, he's had some bad health issues for over a year that have affected his energy levels and he just last month hit on a medicine combo that has brought him back to full energy where the bedroom is concerned... so it has been a fun few weeks. 💃🏼

acleverusername

@portentosa I love that YH has found his grooooooooove. Last year, when I was experimenting with MHs supplements, I found that Ashwaganda had him acting like a teenager!!! 

MH is so vanilla, so there's not a lot that I need to do / have to do? to get him going. Most of the time, the trouble is on my end. The SSRIs really don't help in that area. Anyways, I got a subscription to Burgandy Box (lingerie subscription service that comes 4x a year) and it's GREAT! I get to feel sexy and even though it takes MH 30 sec to take whatever it is I'm wearing off, the sentiment lingers and the brain awaits the next time. Plus, it helps that MH's memory is equivalent to that of a goldfish so I can rewear the thing I got 3 months ago. 

portentosa

@acleverusername
*makes a note of ashwaganda* 👀👀

I had one of those lingerie subscriptions a few years back and loved it. I've gained some weight since then... should maybe think about getting some new things again. Make MHs eyeballs pop. 😈

maggiemadeit

I like to keep the lingerie collection fresh for my hubby. We’ve been together for 20 years, and I am an old married lady, so that’s about as spicy as it gets these days. I also find the lingerie gives me a little more confidence in the bedroom, especially now that I’m carrying a few extra pounds. It covers some of the smushier parts. 

mambo5-2

We are in a dry spot we've just had a lot going on in our lives plus we've had COVID and influenza and some grief stuff happen since the new year. Hopefully now that it's slowed down we can get back. 

We like to send sexy messages back and forth, especially gifs. 

acleverusername

@portentosa and @mambo5-2: where do you go to find sexy/explicit gifs? Lol. 

portentosa

@acleverusername I just Google the specific thing I'm looking to convey. Google images then pops up lots of x rated options to choose from. If I'm looking to be more coy/funny instead of full on xxx it gets more challenging... I go for specific TV show scenes that DH and I both like.

mrsmtothek

Alright ya'll are making me feel LAZY over here omg. I cannot do the sexy texting unless we're long distance. We did that for so many years that it feels like a call to the past in a way that I don't want to revisit haha. That stuff really just doesn't come naturally to me.

My husband is a Scorpio so he's *on* like ALL the time. All. The. Time. His love language is physical touch too of course (which is NOT MINE) and so I make a concerted effort to let him know I want it as much as possible, even if we can't have it right then. He usually is in the drivers seat in the spicy department but on holidays I'll surprise him with some lingerie. Maybe I need to do this more?!? lol, but honestly, it's an effort to do it 3-5 times a week (he'd prefer every day) that he's plenty happy with just me initiating. He is most excited when I take control in the bedroom, initiate dirty talk, and offer up things like back door access.  

mamafox14

Another vote for spicy texts haha I like to send risqué pics or just general spiciness while he’s working because I know it drives him crazy and also makes him feel really good. Also fans of the Ashgawanda over here!! 

acleverusername

@mrsmtothek I... don't know what it's like to have a husband that's so into sex. I've never even had a partner like that... well, maybe my first boyfriend but then again we were both 20 and wanted to do it all the time. No Ashwagandha for you... haha... otherwise he'll insist on doing it 2x a day!

@mamafox14 how much Ashwagandha do you take? 

mamafox14

@acleverusername I don’t take it but he does, I’m not sure the dosage but I’ll find out and let you know! I’m not home now but I’ll check later. If I forget remind me! He takes a couple other supplements for testosterone support that supposedly help his general energy/stamina and it seems to work as if it were up to him we’d probably have sex twice a day every day. I’d also like that honestly haha so we do our best! 

kiki047

Dammit, I missed the After Dark thread last week. Paging my gutter partner @keikilove to make sure we get the memo next time! 

Not to resurrect an old(er) daily thread but to chime in with my 2 cents, now that we're doing IVF and aren't stuck with TTC-safe lube I found an incredible locally made sex oil (Fractionated Coconut Oil, Organic Sunflower Seed Oil, Organic Evening Primrose Oil, and GMO-free Vitamin E) and let me tell you, it is a *game changer*. Dunno who else has been using PreSeed but it's the worst, I hate it so much. 

MH is on bupropion (Wellbutrin) and sertraline (Zoloft) and the latter pretty much depletes his libido down to nothing. He gets really discouraged (that's putting it lightly) if he tries too often and can't get going, so while we HIO a lot less often than I'd like/than we used to (like once or twice a week), it has been better for our sex life in general when we don't have the pressure of TTC timing looming over us. I get reeeaal grumpy when I'm on forced pelvic rest due to IVF though, which feels like the majority of the past 2 years. 

@mrsmtothek ohhh back door access, *rolls eyes* MH is incredibly jealous that I gave my ex back door access once upon a time but he refuses to admit that it is something he wants and/or is interested in even though he's always poking around there. I flat out told him, if he wants in I need to hear him say it and he won't, lol, so that door remains closed. 

You have to know MH though, he's like the most timid, passive person in general, doesn't have an aggressive bone *ahem* in his body, but every once in a while something comes over him and he finds a liiittle bit of dominant energy and HOT DAMN I'm here for it. 

acleverusername

@kiki047 Sorry girl! I'll be sure to give you EXTRA NOTICE next time there's an After Dark thread. Lol. I was doing anything/everything possible to get the Peggies off my feed. I'm gonna have to pick up some of that lube next time I'm back home. Shoot me the name if you can. Also, +1 when H gets a bit "bossy." 

I didn't really watch Game of Thrones beyond a few episodes of Season 1 (I justify it as 'I started watching it, then started my MBA program, and promptly had to give up all fun) but there's that scene where Khaleesi is "taught" how to enjoy sex by her maid? and then she flips things around with her forced husband (the sexy Jason Momoa) from rape to being in control... well that scene is effing sexy. And I could be remembering it all wrong, but my version is pretty great and really gets things going. 

Also, on Monday, MH and I were lying in bed, both on our laptops and I sent him a message... 

ReadyForaB

@acleverusername I lol'ed a little too much at your spoiler.  Totally some my DH and I would do. 

kiki047

@acleverusername I'm snort laughing at your spoiler. Hahaha so good. Also, YGPM. 

mambo5-2

Bridgerton Season 2 started today, enjoy that TTGP After Dark 

acleverusername

Oh boy! This is the after dark thread that keeps on giving! Love it!

mamafox14

@kiki047 @acleverusername if you’re looking for lube I have to recommend Foria - one of the greatest tools in my admittedly robust arsenal. 

https://www.foriastore.com/?utm_source=google-ads&utm_campaign=Foria%20Brand%2022&utm_agid=137607322972&utm_term=foria&creative=575503330959&device=m&placement=&matchtype=e&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIyeTvp4zk9gIV-D6tBh2h8wS6EAAYASAAEgJ-GfD_BwE

Both the Awaken Arousal Oil and the Intimacy Oil are 🔥🔥🔥