October 2022 Moms

When to tell your boss??


Re: When to tell your boss??

  • It won’t be a lot, but I’m already thinking about what kind of (very short) extension negotiations I might have with my boss. My due date is October 7, and if baby is born on that day, my fist day back after 12 weeks will be December 30, right before a 3 day weekend for New Years. If they come early, it’ll be closer to Christmas. I’ll probably ask for work from home for that week if it’s more than a day or two, but otherwise I’ll just see if I can tack a day or two of vacation onto my fmla without getting fired. The office is totally a ghost town between Christmas and New Years anyway, so I hope they grant it. Otherwise I’m going to be miserable in my office by myself checking months worth of emails with nothing else to do. 😩 Basically, in my mind, I shouldn’t be coming back before January 2023. But we’ll see!
  • @nerdymom22 I’m sure it won’t be an issue just starting back after the new year, that seems like a perfectly reasonable request esp since it’s obviously not a busy time for you guys, but honestly coming back from maternity leave to an empty office with no one to talk to sounds like my dream haha
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  • So I am debating telling my manager this week. I am new to my position- I started in November- and I am 100% WFH so I have not built up a relationship with her yet. On top of that I have a complicated pregnancy which will be very overwhelming when I explain it. I am very nervous to say anything due to a previous late term loss and I don’t want to say anything to early. Ill be 11 weeks but at 16 weeks I will be moved to the high risk group which will come up with a care plan for the remainder of my pregnancy including monitoring and bed rest for the third trimester. I can obviously get away with waiting until after 16 weeks to say anything since im WFH and no one sees me. In addition my uncle is not doing well health wise and I feel like if i hit her with the pregnancy and then have to take time for my uncle ill seem complicated and i am not - my entire goal with any place i work is to have a reputation of a high performer so i can fade into the background and be ignored because everyone is assured of my abilities and no additional monitoring or attention is needed for me. Any suggestions?
    I am in the same boat. Started a (mostly) remote job in November and also 11 weeks now. If I were you I’d wait until close to 16 weeks and then just be transparent about needing to take time for appointments. You were waiting long enough to make sure the pregnancy was progressing well (knowing your past medical history) and also early enough to give plenty heads up. If you are overall a reliable employee and no issues so far they should be fine accommodating. I knew my boss from years ago before accepting my job and I feel like that makes me more nervous to tell them. I fear being looked down on by my team for going on leave so soon after joining. I fear coming back and not being assigned projects or worse totally forgetting how to do my job.
  • merostomatamerostomata member
    edited April 2022
    @relizabethp in response to the bonding time, we don’t have anything specific in place for that, but the leave options are pretty flexible as long as your supervisor is cool with it (it’s a big research university). You can take more vacation, or elect to use short-term disability for an additional 8 weeks at 60% pay if you’ve opted into that benefit. You can also choose to take unpaid leave. They offer 4 weeks of paid parental leave for both moms and dads that you can take up to one year post birth or adoption—some dads I know opted to space that out rather than use it all at once. It’s a lowish paying job, but good leave benefits at least (by American standards, anyway) 🙂 it is a little confusing figuring out how to stitch together all of these options, but HR kinda helps.
  • I'm at 11 weeks and I haven't told anyone at work yet - I mostly WFH and have been able to go to appointments no questions asked/sidestep convos (or lie) about drinking when socializing after hours with coworkers. Thinking I'll wait til after my 12-week appt and test results. Part of why I am waiting is because I .... might quit and try to get a new job? I know it's not the point of this thread, but am curious whether anyone else is considering leaving their position. It feels a little crazy to consider but I feel burned out at my current place. 
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