Third Failed IUI & Feeling Hopeless

jwilliamson3

Just got my period after my third two week wait following IUI with donor sperm. We’ve had four other cycles that have been cancelled before IUI. I’ve had a mix of letrozole, gonal-f, menopur and progesterone. And I’m crushed. The doctors have said that I’m not a good candidate for IVF because of my weight. Mentally, I don’t know how I’m going to go on. I am desperate to be a mom and it just feels like it is never going to happen for me.

This process feels insanely isolating and lonely. I have my partner, but not many others who I can talk to about it. And I feel terrible for being so upset. It’s not like I’ve had a miscarriage or lost a child. So, I feel like I don’t have a right to be this sad. But I just feel so hopeless.

relizabethp

Hold on- you have EVERY right to be upset- you don’t need to compare tragedies and feel like yours is less impactful for any reason. Having the strength to try again and not getting the results is devastating, emotionally and physically. I would maybe consult with your dr about next steps and then step away from the process. I think taking time to mentally and physically detach and then prepare yourself for those next steps might be helpful. I know that in between IUI and IVF i took over six months because i needed to feel like i had control over my body again and i needed the headspace to find resolve in whatever was to happen next. I am so sorry you have not gotten your baby , it’s ok to be sad ! 

bender29

@jwilliamson3 if you don’t mind me asking, what is your BMI. The first clinic I went to, I needed to lose 50lbs to be considered for IVF, the second clinic never mentioned my weight once. It might be worth finding a new clinic.

mbradfo2

@jwilliamson3
I would also explore other clinics -- larger ones tend to have rules like that but a smaller practice might be more willing to work with you. My weight was never mentioned (good or bad) at my clinic even though I put on about 40-50 lbs between my last IUI and starting my IVF. I went to a solo practice and my first and second cycles have been successful in giving us our two beautiful little girls.

blacksnoww

If I am not wrong, same restrictions as to weight are applied in IVF and IUI. If your clinic did IUI for you, this means another clinic will probably accept you for IVF. Do you research, contact clinics and see what info you will get from them.

ivfmeerut

IVF is all the more complicated and scary for people who are considered overweight or obese. if you don't mind tell me what is BMI. Because the same restrictions as to weight are applied in both IUI and IVF treatment. If your clinic did IUI for you, this means the clinic will probably accept you for IVF treatment also. By getting a second opinion you are consulting with another doctor to confirm your diagnosis and find other possible treatment options, which will enable you to make the right decision. At the same time, getting a 2nd medical opinion should never be delayed as the quicker you act, the quicker the treatment procedure can be started, and the sooner you will be on the road to recovery.