You know I need to vent when I'm starting a weekly thread that we haven't had for eons!
But really... WTF men and calendars?! Like... seriously. MH had an ultrasound today at 8am. An ultrasound I scheduled for him (and also rescheduled for him) 1+ months ago. The ultrasound is an event in my work calendar, that he's also invited to, but he prefers that I add his personal email to the calendar. I reminded him yesterday that we can't do some stuff (i.e. get our Christmas tree this morning) because he has the appointment this morning.
This morning we wake up at our usual 6:20am and I'm like "cuddle time!" and he responds with "okay, but a quick cuddle only." And I'm thinking to myself: OMG! He remembered the appointment! So, a quick cuddle later, I take the dog out for our morning walk, come back 30 min later and he's STILL IN BED! So, I'm like... I thought you'd be showered and all by now. And he's like... "why?" And I'm like... "you have an appointment at 8am?" And he's like SHIT! I forgot!!! And I'm like "but this morning when you said you wanted a quick cuddle only, I assumed it's because you knew we were go-go-go to get to your appointment." And he's like "no, it's because I was hot."
So then I'm like "okay, I can't possibly think of MORE ways to remind you and this literally happens EVERY TIME." So, how do we make the situation better. Cue him getting annoyed at me to which I respond "I'm not trying to admonish you; today's already happened. I'm just trying to figure out how to solve this going forward." And he's like "I do get calendar reminders on my phone. I'm just never looking at my phone." And I say "yeah, I know this about you. Can you hook up your gCal to your iCal so that you get native OS notifications on your computer?" (He's ALWAYS on his computer in bed when he first wakes up. At that he harrumphs and I can tell he can't be bothered. He also then admit that he check his work calendar on his computer to make sure he doesn't have any surprise morning meetings. So I say "why don't I send you those invites to your work email?" And he's like "no, I don't want that because then my medical history will be recorded in my work email address." And okay, I get that, even though I don't give a damn because my work calendar rules my life so I have to have everything in my work cal.
TL; DR we made it to his appointment on time, even though he had to skip shower (length of his showers is another potential train wreck; to be explored in a different WTF). Luckily though, there was a lot of goo involved in his appointment (neck u/s) so the shower skipping was a good call in hindsight. But also, he finally did say that he'll try to look into getting his gCal synced with his iCal.
@acleverusername that’s so frustrating!! 100% to putting it on his work calendar though. You could send it to him as “appointment” and put “see gCal” or whatever he uses for personal in the memo.
@acleverusername that sounds immensely frustrating. honestly, most of the time when y'all talk about your partners i'm kinda a bit jealous because of course. but occasionally, i read a rant about a SO and i sort of lean back in my seat for a sec and sigh a little sigh of "thank god i don't have to try to organize anyone else's calendar but my own."
History
I am doing this on my own. Left ovary and fallopian tube removed due to cyst/necrosis just after birth. Right ovary and tube still purport to function.
Began TTC in Aug '18 @ age 35
5 or 6 (or 7?!) cycles using frozen donor sperm, ICI. All BFN
Mar-Jun '19 IUIs, all BFN
Began process of referral for RE in spring of '19, blood tests confirm low AMH (.54) but all else is good.
May '19 HSG shows open tube, but ultrasound suggests fibroids
MRI in June '19 confirms two large fibroids, one growing through wall of uterus
In June '19 I move from California to Oregon, disrupting my insurance, referrals, etc. 5 months spent piecing it all back together.
Nov. '19 attempted myomectomy (vaginal approach) failed. 2nd surgery using laparoscopic method in Jan '20 is successful.
April '20 --> June '20, natural IUIs, all BFN.
July? saline ultrasound and bubble test demonstrate open tube
July '20 clomid cycle cancelled for thin lining
Aug-Oct, 3 femara cycles, all BFN
RE referral. While waiting to set up an appointment Nov-Jan,I continue with natural cycles and ICI, using a known donor, BFN...
Jan '21 more bloodwork, AMH is worse (.30), FSH high albeit not catastrophic at 13.2. hysteroscopy all good. "looks cozy!" says the RE.
Feb '21, injectables (menopur, novarel), iui, BFN (doc said the frozen donor sperm sample had the "best numbers she'd ever seen!")
Mar '21, injectables, iui cancelled due to lack of follicles, converted to at home-insem. BFN
May '21, first IVF round cancelled due to cyst.
July '21 IVF: standard antagonist. 225menupur/225gonal-f/cetrotide/5000u trigger, AFC 7; 6 days of stims. 8 eggs retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilize, 4 made it to blast. 3 are 4AB, 1 is 4BB. PGT-A results all abnormal. Oct '21 somewhat improved AMH (.51) and significantly improved FSH (8.9). Maybe it's all the pills I swallow. Dec -21, standard antagonist. 225menupur/225gonal-f/cetrotide/5000u trigger, AFC 5; 11 days of stims. retrieval yields 5, 4M, 2 reach day-6 blast (4AB & 4BB). 1 low-level mosaic (chr. 3 deletion), 1 complex abnormal. Feb '22 FET (low-level mosaic): CP. May '22 egg retrieval, lupron flare protocol. HGH priming for 1 month before stims; md lupron 20/20u daily; menopur 225, follistim 225, 10k trigger after 8 days of stims; AFC 10; 13 retrieved; 10 mature; 8 fertilized. All frozen at 2PN for later thaw, grow, and biopsy. July '22 egg retrieval same protocol: 9 days of stims; AFC 8; 10 retrieved, 8 mature, 4 fertilized and frozen. Sept '22 ER same protocol: AFC 10; 12 retrieved, 11 mature, 11 fertilized. From the 3 retrievals, 7 survived to day 5-6 blastocyst, from which I have 2 normal embryos! Jan 20, Fully medicated FET, baby aspirin, dexamethasone, acupuncture, and as much woo as I can stand (which isn't very much). BFN. July 23, Natural FET + baby aspirin. BFN.
Don't get me wrong guys, I knew "calendaring" wasn't an area of strength for MH before I married him, and luckily, since I'm a project manager, it is for me. But there are limits to my patience here. Blergh. Thanks for letting me vent. @paytonpedro obvi this problem isn't unique to MH then. So, back to original q: WTF is up with men and calendaring. Lol. Anyways, it's a rhetorical question.
Don't mean dredge this up several days later but just here in solidarity for @acleverusername. This is MH. He texts me or sends me voice notes of his upcoming appointments so that *I* will add it to *his* calendars (multiple, because I have to add it to his gcal and send an invite to his work) and so that I will remind him about his appointments. And even then he sometimes still forgets. And when he does, he's mad at me for not reminding him.
The grand irony in all of this is that he used to have to do this for his ex and his whole family, so when we first got together he was so grateful to be able to share some of that responsibility. Aaaand I guess I spoiled him because now here we are lol.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
Re: WTF Wednesday 2021 Turkey Edition (11/24)
But really... WTF men and calendars?! Like... seriously. MH had an ultrasound today at 8am. An ultrasound I scheduled for him (and also rescheduled for him) 1+ months ago. The ultrasound is an event in my work calendar, that he's also invited to, but he prefers that I add his personal email to the calendar. I reminded him yesterday that we can't do some stuff (i.e. get our Christmas tree this morning) because he has the appointment this morning.
This morning we wake up at our usual 6:20am and I'm like "cuddle time!" and he responds with "okay, but a quick cuddle only." And I'm thinking to myself: OMG! He remembered the appointment! So, a quick cuddle later, I take the dog out for our morning walk, come back 30 min later and he's STILL IN BED! So, I'm like... I thought you'd be showered and all by now. And he's like... "why?" And I'm like... "you have an appointment at 8am?" And he's like SHIT! I forgot!!! And I'm like "but this morning when you said you wanted a quick cuddle only, I assumed it's because you knew we were go-go-go to get to your appointment." And he's like "no, it's because I was hot."
So then I'm like "okay, I can't possibly think of MORE ways to remind you and this literally happens EVERY TIME." So, how do we make the situation better. Cue him getting annoyed at me to which I respond "I'm not trying to admonish you; today's already happened. I'm just trying to figure out how to solve this going forward." And he's like "I do get calendar reminders on my phone. I'm just never looking at my phone." And I say "yeah, I know this about you. Can you hook up your gCal to your iCal so that you get native OS notifications on your computer?" (He's ALWAYS on his computer in bed when he first wakes up. At that he harrumphs and I can tell he can't be bothered. He also then admit that he check his work calendar on his computer to make sure he doesn't have any surprise morning meetings. So I say "why don't I send you those invites to your work email?" And he's like "no, I don't want that because then my medical history will be recorded in my work email address." And okay, I get that, even though I don't give a damn because my work calendar rules my life so I have to have everything in my work cal.
TL; DR we made it to his appointment on time, even though he had to skip shower (length of his showers is another potential train wreck; to be explored in a different WTF). Luckily though, there was a lot of goo involved in his appointment (neck u/s) so the shower skipping was a good call in hindsight. But also, he finally did say that he'll try to look into getting his gCal synced with his iCal.
Thank you for coming to my monologue.
TTC#2
TTC #2 ... preparing as of March 2024
TTC #1
TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing
03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH.
06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering...
06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023
Oct '21 somewhat improved AMH (.51) and significantly improved FSH (8.9). Maybe it's all the pills I swallow.
Dec -21, standard antagonist. 225menupur/225gonal-f/cetrotide/5000u trigger, AFC 5; 11 days of stims. retrieval yields 5, 4M, 2 reach day-6 blast (4AB & 4BB). 1 low-level mosaic (chr. 3 deletion), 1 complex abnormal.
Feb '22 FET (low-level mosaic): CP.
May '22 egg retrieval, lupron flare protocol. HGH priming for 1 month before stims; md lupron 20/20u daily; menopur 225, follistim 225, 10k trigger after 8 days of stims; AFC 10; 13 retrieved; 10 mature; 8 fertilized. All frozen at 2PN for later thaw, grow, and biopsy.
July '22 egg retrieval same protocol: 9 days of stims; AFC 8; 10 retrieved, 8 mature, 4 fertilized and frozen.
Sept '22 ER same protocol: AFC 10; 12 retrieved, 11 mature, 11 fertilized.
From the 3 retrievals, 7 survived to day 5-6 blastocyst, from which I have 2 normal embryos!
Jan 20, Fully medicated FET, baby aspirin, dexamethasone, acupuncture, and as much woo as I can stand (which isn't very much). BFN.
July 23, Natural FET + baby aspirin. BFN.
TTC#2
TTC #2 ... preparing as of March 2024
TTC #1
TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing
03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH.
06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering...
06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023
The grand irony in all of this is that he used to have to do this for his ex and his whole family, so when we first got together he was so grateful to be able to share some of that responsibility. Aaaand I guess I spoiled him because now here we are lol.
TTC History:
Me: 36 MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017
Aug '18: PCOS dx
Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil
Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN
Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN. Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)
Aug '19: Letrozole + HCG trigger + IUI + prog supp - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Sep '19: 2nd IUI, same protocol - BFN (MH: 16mil)
Dec '19: IVF #1 w/ICSI, PGT. 5 retrieved, 4 fertilized, 3 blasts, 3 PGT-A normal.
Mar '20: FET #1, perfect 5AA blast transferred. BFN.
Sept '20: FET #2, 5BB tsf. 9/18/20 BFP!! EDD: 5/27/21. MMC 11w
Feb ‘21: FET #3, last 6BB blast transferred. BFP, EDD 11/2/21. MC 5w3d.
May '21: IVF #2 w/ICSI, PGT. 8R, 7M, 6F, 6 blasts - 3AB, 3AB, 3BB, 4BB, 5BB, 6BA. Fresh tsf 5/13/21 - BFN.
June '21: PGT-A results = 3 abnormal, 1 low level mosaic. Referred to new REI, had consult with 2nd RE in between.
Sept '21: RPL, immune testing normal
Oct '21: IVF #3 w/IMSI, PGT. 33R, 26M, 23F, 9 blasts (7 day 6, 2 day 7). PGT-A = 5 normal, 1 mosaic
Dec '21: Positive for endometritis, RX Flagyl & Keflex
Jan '22: FET #5 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol incl. PRP, intralipids, prednisone, medrol, nivestym, fragmin - CP
Feb '22: FET #6 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol w/higher doses of pred & fragmin - BFN
Mar '22: Mock cycle for ERA - cancelled, repeat endometrial biopsy instead. Still positive for endometritis. RX ciprofloxacin & amoxicillin.
Apr '22: IVF #4 w/IMSI, PGT. 28R, 23M, 16F, 11 blasts. PGT-A = 6 normal.
June '22: FET #7 - Microdose lupron downreg w/kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol - double embryo transfer. BFN.
July '22: FET #8 - Mini stim w/Puregon + trigger, kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol. BFN.
Sep '22: Taking a break
Dec '22: Attempted abdominal myomectomy, fibroid too close to cervix and major blood vessels. Wasn't removed.
Feb '23: FET #9 - Modified natural w/baby asp, HCG trigger, PIO, PRP, Medrol, HCG wash, embryo glue - BFP!! EDD 11/11/23
TTC#2
TTC #2 ... preparing as of March 2024
TTC #1
TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing
03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH.
06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering...
06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023