Med Free Birth

kiwi2628

It is never to early to start thinking, researching, reading about etc... if you want a med free birth so I thought I would start a discussion for anyone to bring up questions, discuss pros/cons of med free vs epidural or other interventions, share resources for info etc... This is not a place to shame medications, interventions or anything. Only factual information or personal opinions on things please!

This will be my third med free birth- first wasn't by choice and second was because I had already done it once and was actually really happy with a lot of stuff I didn't know went along with med free so I decided to do it again....and now again!

doxiemoxie212

I didn't end up going med free, but I think absolutely everyone should research coping strategies because you never know if you'll get stuck in traffic on the way to the hospital or if baby will come really quickly, etc. You might not have the option of getting the pain interventions you hope for, etc. (Just like you might not end up being able to have a med-free birth.) 

hoosiermamajayden

I have run quite the gamut of birth experiences!

With my first I wanted med-free but wasn’t met with a lot of support and didn’t know how to prepare. Had PROM, didn’t go into labor, was induced with cytotec and then pitocin; was completely unprepared for those contractions, and got an epidural. At that point since I didn’t know what was going on with my body or how to handle it, I think the epidural helped me relax. I took a nap and woke up almost fully dilated. I got lucky and had a good epidural— I still had some sensation and control (could feel the urge to push) but no pain. No spinal headaches or anything afterward. I did have an episiotomy which I think could have been avoided were I in a different position. Afterward, though, healing was terrible. After all the IV fluids and things pumped into me I felt TERRIBLE. Was so swollen. Went home from the hospital weighing more than when I went in I was so filled up with water weight. Recovery was definitely the most difficult with my first, who was also my smallest at 6 lb 11 oz. 

Second was planned as a hospital water birth but they didn’t have a tub free until I was fully dilated. It was about 11 hours total. The first few were easily manageable. At home I never got to the 5-1-1 they recommended but the contractions were getting longer and I felt it was time so we drove to the hospital. The car ride was terrible with every contraction. Was 7 cm dilated when we arrived and they gave me the decision to wait in the L&D triage area until a tub room was open or labor in a private room until it was ready. I waited in triage for 30-45 minutes then took the private room. Got on the ball then took a warm shower for idk how long— just feeling the hot water on my back is what I needed. After a while I started to question whether I could really do it or should just go ask for the epidural after all. Then got the urge to use the toilet. On the toilet my water finally broke and I realized it was time (because of how I felt, not because my water broke), so I called out to my husband to get the midwife. At some point I threw up. She came in as a nurse came to let me know the tub room was open. It was too late for that! We got the bed propped up and I tried out hands and knees and the labor bar. Preferred hands and knees. After 11 minutes of pushing she was born, maybe 4 hours after we got to the hospital. She was 8 lb 10 oz. Had a very small tear and got a couple stitches but no biggie. Recovery was much easier this time and so was breastfeeding. General info: they did intermittent monitoring but never even so much as an IV port. It was great.

Third was my homebirth water baby. Labor was similar to with my daughter. Hung out on the ball a lot. Took a walk. More ball. Drank a smoothie. Threw it up right before he was born. At some point contacted my doula and midwife team. Doula got there probably 5 hours before he came. Midwife team maybe two hours. Got into an argument with my husband about filling the birth tub (in his mind this baby would come at the same time of day as my daughter did— late at night— and you’re not supposed to fill the tub too soon or the water will cool down) and my doula intervened and got it done. When I got to the point where I was questioning why I was doing this— going “natural” instead of going to the hospital and getting an epidural like all the smarter and more comfortable women— he wasn’t far off from being born. Had him on my hands and knees in the birthing tub in our room. He was born partially en caul, so when his head came out my bag of waters was still intact around him, but it broke as his body was born. He was a biggie at 9 lb 8 oz but didn’t need any stitches or anything. Again had intermittent monitoring once my midwives arrived and recovery wasn’t a beautiful cakewalk or anything but much more manageable than post-meds. 

loveanddatadriven

I love this thread! Thank you @kiwi2628. I had a medically needed induction for my last birth, and I definitely chafed at all the cords and Foley catheter line and IVs hanging from me. I also found out that a lot of the freedom the hospital advertised to us (shower, walking, moving truly freely about the room) were off limits to me because the (mandatory?) monitoring was not wireless. I was totally tethered. My OB had misinformed me during our pre-induction appointment. Ask the HOSPITAL.

I would just recommend asking about what an induction/pitocin augmentation or epidural will be like during a hospital tour. Do they have any policies about additional monitoring?

It took about 45 minutes from the moment I decided I wanted an epidural to when I actually got it, then a while for it to kick in. Good time to have coping techniques.

I was amazed at how quickly my SIL bounced back after a med-free birth. It took me a full 24 hours for my epidural to fully wear off, so H had to help me to the bathroom during that time.

Definitely interested in pursuing a med-free birth if everything is low risk this time around.

hoosiermamajayden

@loveanddatadriven yes! No one warned me about ALL the cords and wires and monitors. No one told me I wouldn’t be able to move. No one told me I wouldn’t be able to eat. No one told me the dang IV might be IN MY RIGHT HAND. Anyway, it seems like somewhere in all those OB appointments, mainstream books, and pregnancy forums, someone could have told me these things. 

Also I want to add that you should get a good support team in place! Whether you want to go med free or plan on an epidural, get your partner and optimally one other person if possible on board with your birth plan. I say this because my husband is a great guy but he is an awful birth support partner. Full disclosure my oldest isn’t his, we’re a blended family, so that birth is out. But while I was pregnant with my daughter we took a childbirth class together and I felt I was very direct in sitting down with him a few times and going over labor, birth plan, and what kind of help I wanted from him. 

None of it came through. Until transition when I called to him to get the nurse he was sitting in my hospital room talking basketball with my dad. Then while I was pushing he rubbed my back a little and chatted with the nurse about the alma mater pin on her tag. I was very frustrated to say the least. Logically I know it’s because he was nervous, but you know, I didn’t exactly get that chance to just mentally check out and in when it suited me. 

Next birth I went through all those same things with him again and got a doula. Thank goodness because he was pretty much aloof/oblivious again. Now, some dads to be are amazing support partners. That’s fantastic. But there’s a chance yours might suck and it’s not your fault, so I recommend getting a back-up if you don’t know yet!

minnie_yoga_mama

Does anyone have recommendations for birth courses or other resources for managing a natural labor and birth? Breathing techniques, pain relief techniques, etc would be great! I’ll be giving birth in a hospital but want as natural if a birth as possible! 

shlecks

I wanted to go unmedicated with my first, but things didn’t go as planned. My water broke at home, labor didn’t start, they induced with cytotec and then pitocin, things went okay just very very slow. I decided to go for an epidural to try to get some rest and I regret it so much. The epidural didn’t work. It numbed like one side of me but not my uterus. They tried to give me another one and it was basically the same issue. Legs but not middle. So there I am with the catheter pressing on my urethra which was like the worst feeling plus contractions and my body just stalled at like 8cm. After a loooong labor I opted for a C-section because I was just so so tired. 

Are there any moms who have had a successful vbac? That’s what I really want this time.

hoosiermamajayden

@minnie_yoga_mama I recommend Ina May Gaskin’s books, reading as many positive birth stories as you can, and getting on the same page with your partner and/or birth coach. As far as classes go I’ve heard really good things about Birth Boot Camp but never signed up in time to take it.

bluecampanula

I’ve had 3 med free births so far. My mom thought I was certifiably insane when I first told her that’s what I wanted to do and tried really hard to talk me out of it. So I made her read Ina May’s guide to childbirth and now she’s a total convert and very, very supportive. I think I’m going to try to get DH to read the birth partner or something, I tend to be very insular in labor and I think he always feels useless. He’s also very squeamish - he doesn’t have a problem with movies, but has been known to pass out when loved ones have small but bleeding cuts. He’s been fine each time, just throwing that out there for any other squeamish partners 

(3 positive birth stories, i just felt bad for how long they are, so spoilers)

All of my labors have happened at night and lasted 5 hours from first contraction to birth. The first one, I was getting into bed and had this really funny sensation, like a mini pop. My waters hadn’t totally broken, more like sprung a tiny leak. I called the triage nurse and they had me come in. (In the meantime DH was just drifting off to sleep  ) I waited around in triage for awhile, no contractions, but just as the nurse was coming back in to dismiss me the rest of my water broke and the contractions started immediately in earnest. It was very intense, the contractions were immediately one on top of the other, but it also kept me very focused. Focused on riding each wave, trying to go with it and relax as much as I could. (Or hill, as I thought of them) I remember thinking to myself as I’d reach the peak, “ok, I made it through that one, I can do another.” And then when it got to a point like @hoosiermamajayden said, where I just wanted to be done, I told myself, “that means I’m transitioning! So I’m almost there!” Around this point I got in the tub and it was such bliss! It was such an amazing relief. Hospital policy didn’t allow you to deliver in the tub though, so they told me sternly to let them know when I first needed to push. But it felt soooo goooood being in the water I definitely waited through the first couple beginning urges to push to let them know - I didn’t want to get out until I was sure! My midwife was the only one on the team I hadn’t met during clinic visits but she was fantastic. I don’t remember much of this, but my mom made sure to tell me that the midwife had worked really hard with perineal massage to prevent me from tearing. I had very mild tearing, I think maybe one stitch. I feel like I do pretty well with labor coping, but it does take me a bit to get into the mindset of pushing. 

I got the same CNM for my second birth - I was so happy about that! And she had some good laughs with me during labor. Because my water was still intact I kept waiting for the contractions to get as intense as the first time. I was literally twiddling my thumbs in between them, like what do I do with all this time in between? At one point I started worrying they were actually slowing down so I asked them to time one. They smiled,  “they’re only a minute apart.” They asked if I wanted to get in the tub, and I said, “I think I’m still ok, you told me last time to wait until I needed it most.” After checking she chuckled and said, “if you wait any longer, it’ll be too late.” Because my waters were still intact, it wasn’t the same crazy difference as the previous time. Awhile later she checked me again and said if she broke them I’d have a baby in my arms really soon, so I went with that. And then the intensity I remembered was back. But no longer tub time! DS6 was sunny side up so I had some back labor when it came to pushing time. The midwife told DH to push on my low back to help relieve it, which did help a lot. So much that I forgot what I was supposed to be doing and scolded him a couple times, “push harder!” Until I remembered that I was the one actually responsible for pushing the baby out No real tearing, she described it as “skid marks”. No stitches. 

Then we moved and I almost cried at the idea of leaving that midwife behind. I opted for a freestanding birth center, which is around the corner from our hospital, because I decided I wanted to try a water birth. Still chasing that relief of the water from my first labor! My midwife is not the biggest fan of water births, but after giving me a very descriptive run down let me go for it. I tested positive for group b strep so there was an extra pressure of needing to get to the birth center right away with my history of labor times so the IV would have a chance to actually do it’s thing. But I also found the idea of having to wake everyone up just for me (rather than a hospital where there’s staff there 24/7) really intimidating when the time came. So I had contractions start a couple different nights, just enough to keep me awake but when I’d get up and start getting to the point of making phone calls the fear of being not actually in labor made them stop. Finally the next night I thought to myself as we were getting ready for bed, I’ve had enough of this, I’m going to have this baby. So I… seduced… DH and it worked and got labor going for sure. I announced a little later it was go time and we made all our calls (midwife, childcare, etc) and when we got in the car to go he looked at me with this wounded puppy dog expression, “you used me, didn’t you.” (It’s really not his favorite that I always go in to labor just as he’s falling asleep, I however, think it’s great timing). I’m not fond of needles so was feeling quite green during the antibiotic IV and the midwife told me to breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth, which worked. Labor was pretty similar to the second one. In the first two I threw up both times during transition, this time I felt the same way but decided I really didn’t want to, so did that breathing trick and was fine. My mom, incidentally, thought to herself, “well it can’t be too close yet since she hasn’t thrown up yet.” And chose that same moment to wander down the hall to make herself a cup of tea. She came very very close to missing the birth. Labor slows down quite a bit for me if I’m reclined, like, in a tub. But that also feels nice, so i had to convince myself a bit to sit forward or get on all fours to keep things going. Again we opted to break my waters, but this time I could be back in the tub. I didn’t have a complete water birth because the cord got wrapped around his neck and I had to come out a bit so the midwife could loosen it. And there was a real awkward bit after the baby is born but the placenta hasn’t been delivered and I had to waddle from the tub to the bed… I probably won’t go for a water birth again this time, I don’t know, we’ll see. There are a lot of options at the birth center. No tearing at all that time. 

aloha_mama

@minnie_yoga_mama We used the Bradley Method with my first and we loved it. We wanted the labor and delivery to be something we got through as a team and DH was the only one I wanted near me the whole time. I highly recommend it. My friend has had four med-free births and uses hypnobirthing with hers. Ina May is also excellent. No recommendations on classes, though.

I had a semi-med-free birth with DD6 and we’re planning on another one in a birth center this time. Birth story:

I had PPROM at 35 weeks, water broke at 7am and we headed straight in and I had pitocin started. Four hours later, DD was there. It was a roller coaster for sure. I told my birth team to direct any and all questions and concerns to DH and not to bother me, and everyone was great about it. No one spoke a word to me but DH. I didn’t want to hear the words “epidural” or “pain management” AT ALL. If I wanted it, I would ask for it, otherwise get out. I refused all cervical checks because they’re basically useless and don’t do anything but provide an in for bacteria and infection, plus they’re super uncomfortable. I bitched about the IV but I knew it was medically necessary because 1) I was on pit, 2) my BP was super low, and 3) I needed antibiotics because my GBS status was unknown, and I did need continuous fetal monitoring because DD was a preemie. It turned out for the best because she started having decels while I was pushing so I needed to breathe into an oxygen mask for a bit. I was probably a horrible patient but whatever. I labored for almost the whole time on the ball, but when I started getting nauseous and a bit panicky I knew I was transitioning. I freaked out a little because I had only been in labor for about three hours total (sounds nice, was actually terrifying and I thought I was going to die). My body began pushing on its own so we got me maneuvered into a hands-and-knees position, but a few pushes there just weren’t doing it for me so I laid on my left side with my knee up and delivered DD there. Maybe five pushes total. No one yelling at me or counting to ten or any of that, it was completely quiet and calm  just like I wanted it. I was able to nurse her immediately, and was up to the bathroom within an hour. Med-free isn’t for everyone, and it helps to have some preparation and planning in place beforehand, but I am so glad we did it because I felt so much more in control of my situation and DH felt more involved and less helpless than he thought he would. 

constantinabee

Reading all your birthing stories just leaves me in awe of how amazing and strong you all are. Being a FTM, I'm nervous for that part and am hoping to go med free as long as it's the safest option for baby. It's just a bit scary feeling like I don't quite know what to expect.

doxiemoxie212

@mamastefit has a course about birth positions etc to help labor progress as well as prenatal fitness classes. I find their free IG content immeasurably helpful. 

@womeninmotion has a pregnancy prep course from a DPT (doctorate of physical therapy) standpoint. It's fairly neutral as far as med free or not, but she encourages to try to stay mobile as long as possible.

There's a doula on IG I'm forgetting but I'll try to remember to post tomorrow, but she's also super super helpful. 

taylorz8912

@kiwi2628 I have basically the same experiences as you. My first was medicated second baby I wasn’t medicated but not by my choice I just didn’t have time to get the epidural by the time I got to the hospital and my third I decided to do a homebirth and obviously med free since I had already done it before. This will be my third non-medicated birth and second home birth. It’s amazing what our bodies can endure and we still want to do it again LOL

miss_lynn9

I had an unmedicated water birth at the hospital. DD1 was born at 42 weeks. I had a Foley inserted then I was given castor oil to start my contractions. The castor oil didn't help, it just made me poop haha. So MW gave me a herbal tincture which worked immediately. I took it at 5ish and tried to sleep as much as I could. One benefit of having a MW was I was able to call her and she listened to me go through a contraction and told me if I should go into the hospital or not. At about 11 I was at the point where I couldn't handle it on my own and the things H was doing to help (pressure on low back) was not longer helping. I called her and she said I was still fine but my water broke on the phone with her so she to us to come in. We got to the hospital at 1;00am, got the pool set up and DD1 was born at 7:10am.

The things that helped me get through it, not in any specific order. 
1. The hot water. Seriously, it helped so much more than I expected. 
2. Breathing techniques and knowing what sounds to make. 
3. DHs hand. I squeezed that thing so hard haha. 
DH was beside me the entire time and it helped to know how to breath because he would hear the beginning breath and immediately grab my hand. 

The resources I found the most helpful. 
1. Prenatal yoga. This wasn't a typical yoga class but with pregnant woman. Every class was something different and there wasn't much yoga involved. One class would be about birthing positions and things the partner can do to help with the pain. One was all about breathing and noises to make. A bunch of women doing squats while roaring like lions was a lot of fun haha

2. Nurse Zabe on YouTube has so many useful videos. Not only about natural birth but about c-sections and everything in between. 
3. Bridget Teyler. I liked her breathing techniques

One thing my MW warned me about was that if the herbal tincture didn't work, she would have to give me oxytocin; which meant I would 100% get an epidural. She explained that natural induction medications like castor oil or herbs just help the body do what it needs to do. Oxytocin starts the contractions and they are intense and fast instead of increasing intensity slowly. Because of this, it is highly likely that an epidural will be required.

I was lucky with my MW. Everyone kept telling me that the beginning contractions were nothing compared to active labor. So before I was in active labor I was thinking that if the beginning ones were this intense, I absolutely would not be able to handle active labor so I asked about an epidural. She sat beside me and explained the pros and cons, and provided alternative options along with their pros and cons. She also said that she didn't think I needed it because I was handling it better than 90% of her clients; but she would get it for me if I wanted it. I decided to continue laboring without any medication and I'm so glad I did. It was hard, very hard and I have zero judgment for people that do want or need medication. 

Do what feels right for you. It's your body and your the one going through labor. Also remember that a birth plan is just a plan. Things can change on a dime. So make a plan, and have a back-up and know that you may not be able to stick with any of it. 

kiwi2628

So for any FTMs reading: 

I did not plan my first med free. I planned on going as far as I could and then getting the epidural, because once you have the epidural, you are on your back (not ideal for a descending baby, increases risk of c-section), you get a urinary cath, no food once you get to the hospital and some other things.

However, I got to the hospital after laboring at home for 4 hours and I was 7 cm dilated, and they discovered I had pre-E. I had no BP issues at my appt just 4 days prior, but now I had a low platelet count, which means I was unable to get an epidural. 

Luckily I just listened to my body. I was like 'people have been doing this for centuries, tune everyone else out and just go with your body', and I did and 3 hours later my son was born, no drugs.

With my second I did no prep either. And with this one I also won't do any prep. I just listen to my body. 

I do love on instagram tranquilitybyhehe- shes a very factual doula- she isnt pro or anti epidural, hospital, homebirth, water etc... she is strictly facts and going with evidence based medicine. Because of her site I will be doing a lot more with water this time (not a water birth- the birth center I am at begs you not to actually birth in there but can labor all the way until the end of pushing), and probably pushing more on my hands and squatting, but I adore her.

But have a plan in case you cant get an epidural.

SmashJam

I have had two med free births and one with an epidural, and maybe I got a unicorn experience but honestly my recovery was the same with both. Epidural worked fine, I knew when I had to push, and most importantly for that specific birth-I was relaxed and happy and not at all worried. I had the same recovery except I had to ask for help to get to the bathroom for 20 minutes, but that was NBD. They would have discharged me 24 hours after admittance but I was struggling with nursing and so anxious about that, so I asked for the second day included in my insurance. I would do the epidural again and will likely not go med free this time unless I am induced. In a nutshell, I now need to be able to focus on hearing the baby heartbeat and relaxing, not on pushing myself through the physical and emotional toll of med free labor. 

First two kids I went in to get induced at 42 weeks. The string (cervadil?) around the cervix overnight was enough to get me going and I had both kids by 2:30pm after labor started at 6:30 am the morning after placement. Things that got me through-
1) I was already monitored for an hour before labor really began, so I could go wherever I wanted and wasn't hooked up during the first part of labor. I could get in the shower, which helped until transition and I started throwing up.

2) After things got real intense two things helped: 1) a supportive birth coach-my H is a badass doula so I never needed to hire one or worry about docs being around to coach me through. So, whoever that will be for you, the coach is a must, IMO. 2) a mantra. During contractions, having something I thought of to help me breathe and not tense up every.single.time. was a must for me. During every single contraction for my second birth, this is what I thought of (I'll post pic later, its not working for me right now). I repeated "lettuce be merry" and pictured this floating Christmas manatee surrounded by lettuce and that's all I focused on. People probably thought I was nuts when I said it out loud. I had one for my first too but don't remember it, but same thing. Every time it was almost like a trance, I said the mantra, had the picture, breathed and relaxed my body. 

3)Also, honestly, the hospital would not offer an epidural until 6cm dilated. I went from 5cm to pushing in 30 minutes both times, so I couldn't get one if I wanted it.

TW child loss

I got the epidural with my third birth, the one after the loss of my daughter, for many reasons. One, I went into labor spontaneously for the first time, which is honestly a huge pain in the ass, so kudos to y'all who have done that every time, lol. Contractions were, I swear, 30 seconds apart from minute one and never stopped. Two, H was with our oldest in the waiting room while I labored in triage, because MIL had a 45 minute drive. I was in my own head about the health of the baby, and there was no one else there to support me. I could not get out of my head how much longer I had before I knew that he was fine, since I couldn't always hear the heartbeat in any position I was in and nurses kept having to adjust. Three, I had to be monitored for an hour once I got there since labor was spontaneous and it was so hard to hear the heartbeat when I wasn't in bed but being in bed sucked. Fourth-they offered the epidural immediately. So with all that in my head, I took it with barely an hour of trying to make it through myself while in the hospital.  I relaxed and focused on the heartbeat, slept a little since labor started at 1:30am, and read. It was bliss. 

Like I said, even with the less than ideal doctor, the surprise episiotomy, and the semi numb legs for 20 minutes after birth-recovery was fine. I have no negative thoughts about the experience. So, while this thread is for people who are thinking about med free births, I just wanted to offer up my birth story as a positive medicated birth story, as I know so many people go med free after having a really bad one! 

Ivorytower2

Just throwing it out there for any first time moms reading this, with both my kids my water broke but contractions did not start at all, so I had to be induced with pitocin for both. And yes, if you are Pitocin you will most likely need an epidural because you are on baby heart monitors (like a band around your belly connected to a machine) and don’t have the option to walk around, use a birthing ball, take a shower, labor in the tub, etc. In addition, the contractions on pitocin are extremely strong and close together so without really any coping mechanism, the epidural is pretty much necessary. And it’s completely ok! I had two great births with pitocin and epidural. I was up and walking around a few hours after I gave birth and even able to take a shower later that evening. I also felt no pain during labor (except right before I got the epidural when I was approaching 4-5cm)

Just wanted to share some positivity and light for those who might want a natural birth but might not have the option due to needing to be induced, etc.

monstera13

There are great stories and advice here, so I won’t repeat a bunch of it. Similar to @Ivorytower2 though, I just want to remind anyone hoping for a med/intervention free birth that if things don’t go as planned, your birth is not a failure. 

With DS3, I read all the books, I practiced the breathing, I planned out birth affirmations, etc. I was determined to go med free. But my water broke and when I went into the hospital about 10 hours later, I still wasn’t feeling contractions. I was put on the max dose of pitocin, which made things extremely painful but still didn’t progress me much. At 24 hours (so about 14 hours of pitocin) they told me I was still only at 3 cm. I was physically exhausted, in a ton of pain, and still had a long way to go, so I “gave in” and got an epidural. This allowed me to rest a bit before getting to the pushing stage, but I was also stuck in the bed and hooked up to all the monitors. I even had to wear oxygen because DS’s heart rate kept dropping. I felt soooo disappointed in myself for a while afterwards, and it’s taken some work to convince myself that I didn’t do anything wrong by getting the epidural. But 33 hours of labor is no easy feat! 

For this baby, I’m again going to hope that the conditions are right for a med-free birth, but I’m not going to set that birth up on a pedestal that could cause possible disappointment like last time. 

doxiemoxie212

I guess I'll share my experience of failing to be med free lol

We went to 8 weeks of 3-hour Bradley classes with a plan of going med-free in-hospital - paid for a doula, did a ton of prep, etc. At 40+2 I was diagnosed with Oligohydramnios (low amniotic fluid; typically diagnosed as less than 10cm, certainly less than 5cm, I was at 0.6cm) and had to be induced. If you want to hear about how that went I'll put it in a spoiler below.

I was really angry about this because I had just seen my OB earlier that day and we'd discussed definitely not inducing until closer to 42 weeks, and DD3 was so incredibly active it just seemed insane to me that anything could be wrong. Also I was pregnant and deranged.

I negotiated with the OB on-call. I was allowed to continue taking fluids by mouth if I got the hep-lock IV, but didn't need to have IV fluids if I met the requirement by mouth. I was allowed to continue eating, etc. I spend a lot of my energy day-to-day trying to tone down how overbearing and pushy I can be, and when I'm in pain that all falls away so I just become a really horrible person to be around lol. So I think she gave in to more of the requests than she maybe would have otherwise. 

They set me up for the induction around 10pm, placed cervidil at my cervix because I was only 1cm dilated, and told me it would be an extremely long few days. I'd have cervidil for 12 hours overnight, it would be really boring and I would sleep. At 10am they'd let me eat, shower, and then they'd setup the Pitocin, and that's probably when I'd want to call my doula to come. It would probably be at least 24 hours after that that baby would be born. My doula agreed this was a solid timeline and plan. 

Well about an hour after they placed the cervidil isht got REALLY painful. I was SCREAMING in pain. And everyone kept telling me this is the easy part. And I was like how the eff am I supposed to handle the hard part if this is the easy part? It felt like my pelvis was being ripped in half. The hyper-mobility I'd experienced throughout my pregnancy became extreme - I felt like my right leg was going to fall out of socket. My contractions were right on top of each other - long, intense, right around 2+1+1 right from the jump. The PA I had with me didn't like doing too many cervix checks, so she didn't check me. 

At 1am I started to panic that I was going to have to go through possibly more than 36 hours of this being the easy part. I negotiated a deal with the on-call OB to remove my cervidil and let me sleep for 6 hours. She said the contractions would stop, and they'd never agree to this except I was being so annoying lol because hospitals don't like you to be in the hospital "doing nothing" which is what the case would be if they removed the cervidil and I didn't immediately start pitocin. So I was like okay, they'll remove the cervidil, this pain will stop, I'll sleep a little, I'll wake up, eat, start pitocin, call my doula. 

Well, of course the contractions never stopped. They got more and more intense. And of course none of us - not me, not my husband, not our doula, not the PA, not the OB, not our nurses - put together that OF COURSE THIS WAS GOING TO BE INTENSE AND FAST: I HAD NO AMNIOTIC FLUID! 

An hour later I begged for the epidural, cursed out the anesthesiologist while he placed it, and I was fully dilated like an hour later. So. 

All in all, I was really happy with my birth experience still. I had the epidural for a really short amount of time, I never had to have pitocin, I felt like my providers listened to me (maybe too much? eek). I wish I hadn't been so angry in the beginning about it all, though. And I wish I hadn't been SO fearful that an epidural would stop my labor from progressing - for some women they need the epidural to relax their pelvic floor enough for it to get out of the way (your pelvic floor does NOT push during labor, it has to relax). 

aloha_mama

Totally agree that no birth experience is better than another. I hate that something that should unite women in our shared experiences has become this weird hierarchy of ways to give birth that puts shame on people that choose a different path or run into unexpected/emergency situations that require previously unwanted interventions. I blame social media for a lot of that. All those glowy, dreamy professional photos of an angelic looking new mom holding their baby in the tub or whatever. Birth is disgusting and beautiful and horrifying and amazing. Whatever way you choose is the best way, and if people judge you for that then you don’t need those people in your life in the first place. And birth is freakin’ hard, yall,
regardless of how it happens. Have a birth plan if that’s up your alley, but be prepared to deviate if needed and don’t blast yourself for changing things. You don’t know how it’s going to go until it’s going. I have patients that are just absolutely devastated because they couldn’t do xyz on their plan for whatever reason, and although I don’t deny that psychological trauma exists from birth plans gone horribly wrong I do think it’s awful to place blame on yourself when stuff doesn’t go the way you thought it would because some random stranger on the Internet had an “easy” delivery. 

Ivorytower2

Omg @doxiemoxie212 I can’t even imagine being in torturous pain while everyone told me this is “the easy part” and thinking I had 36 more hours to go. You probably pretty much made it all the way without the epi, but how would they know without checking!

doxiemoxie212

@Ivorytower2 and low intervention birth approaches will recommend not getting cervical checks because usually it's the opposite - you check and it shows you haven't progressed as much as you'd hope so you get discouraged by them. Makes total sense. Just didn't work that way for me lol

loveanddatadriven

@doxiemoxie212 the very beginning of my induction was very powerful as well.

H and I were both panicking because we were also told this was the “easy part” and “try to get some sleep”. In contrast to your story though, the contractions (and projectile vomiting) eased about 45 minutes later. Fortunately, the nurse and laborist both agreed I was responding more strongly than they expected and helped me with some antiemetics for which I am eternally grateful.

doxiemoxie212

@loveanddatadriven I expected it with the pitocin (which I never got), but I think my lack-of-water essentially natural labor was just way way way way wayyy too intense. I hear other women talk about their labor experiences, and I'm just like wow yea I never had the "oh is this a contraction?" bullshit hahaha like no, it was clear, it was either a contraction or DEATH hahaha

kiwi2628

@doxiemoxie212 my first my water broke before contractions started and from contraction 1 they were intense. I didn’t realize they were so intense until labor with DD when my water didn’t break and I was like ‘THIS IS LABOR?!?’ It felt so easy in comparison. That amniotic fluid really helps keep the pain away

doxiemoxie212

@kiwi2628 really hoping for that "gentle progression" of labor this time lol 

Blondesweety444

With DS5 I really wanted a med free birth. I find the birthing process extremely fascinating, I always have been amazed at what our bodies can do! I have a pretty high pain tolerance as well, so I thought I'd be able to manage. Most of all though, I was terrified of getting an epidural and that's what was motivating me towards med free.

Well an emergency c-section gives you no choice at all. In the end it really wasn't that bad. I was pretty nauseous afterwards and threw up a couple times. But I think that had a lot to do with the fact that they wheeled my entire bed into the NICU to see DS5 and then back up to the 8th floor for recovery. I've had to give up my dream of a med free birth, and I'm mostly ok with it (I don't qualify for vbac). Every once in a while I get sad, but not too much. I'm really hoping to be able to BF this time since I wasn't able to last time and had to EP. 

I think, as other ladies have said, is to have a plan but ultimately to remain flexible. Plans change and they can change very quickly. Being mentally prepared for inevitable changes will help you to navigate the wild world of birthing a child regardless of how things work out!

Boobopgirl

I've had 4 babies.  Three were med free.  Of the med free births, two were water (1 regular tub and 1 birth tub) and one was on the bed when he came too fast for the tub.  My thought is that it's better to plan for a natural birth so you are mentally there in case an epidural can't happen or doesn't work right. I've heard a number of people who say that their birth was "ruined" when they couldn't get their epidural and that breaks my heart. But also, no matter what you plan, everything won't go quite according to how you envision it.

For any FTM that want to do a natural labor, looking into the progression of labor and understanding the stages will help you immensely.  Basically the hardest part is when you're almost there, and for me, that is encouraging.  When I start to feel like I can't do it, I'm getting close to the finish line.

Things that helped me prepare were:
1) Prenatal yoga and breathing techniques

2) Tons and tons of "pelvic opening" exercises (squats, stretches, lunges, etc)

3) Being well fed and hydrated leading up to labor. As soon as I realize I'm in early labor, I start pounding water and usually have a big bowl of oatmeal with raisins and walnuts to provide long lasting energy

4) Treating the entire pregnancy like training for an athletic event.

Things that helped in labor:

1) Talking to the baby, telling it to move down, keep moving down etc.

2) Counter pressure on my sacrum during contractions

3) Warm water on my back and belly but cool water on my face.
4) Sipping on a cold electrolyte beverage as allowed/able and with my birth center labors, I reached a point before transition when I HAD to have a granola bar and was allowed to in that setting whereas I wouldn't have been in the hospital.

doxiemoxie212

@Boobopgirl my hospital allowed me to eat if I wanted to. Even once I got the epidural, while I was pushing I felt like I needed some food in my stomach, and they allowed it. 

Boobopgirl

@doxiemoxie212 that's fantastic. Both of the local hospitals here are very adamant about not eating or drinking anything but ice chips. My SIL even got scolded for drinking the water that melted from her ice chips.   🙄

kiwi2628

@Boobopgirl cool news is you don’t have to listen. Hospital policy isn’t law and they aren’t going to arrest you for eating or drinking. I definitely broke the rules on that and gave no shits

Blondesweety444

I'm assuming that the reason for no eating/drinking is in case there's an emergency c section? Well.... I definitely ate a ton of pizza before going in for monitoring at 10am knowing I'd be there all afternoon (my assumption was that I'd be admitted since we were moving down that path). But ended up having a emergency csection at 1pm. There wasn't much they could do about it at that point anyways, but nobody seemed super concerned about it. 

So use your judgement, but what's a granola bar going to hurt? 

doxiemoxie212

@Blondesweety444 that actually isn't necessary, though. If you needed an emergency c-section after eating a giant meal because you had no idea you were about to have a placental abruption they'd be able to do it safely because in the 90s they developed new intubation technology. 

Blondesweety444

Exactly @doxiemoxie212 ! (sorry if my point wasn't clear) I mentioned to them several times I'd eaten recently and they all shrugged it off so I'm assuming it just isn't that big of a deal anymore. Makes me wonder what the purpose of limiting food during labor is (if csections isn't the reason)?

Also - pure curiosity, in the case that you mentioned above, would they intubate you for the csection? (outside of the fact that they probably would because of urgency and can't wait for epidural) That would be kind of a bummer.

aloha_mama

@Blondesweety444 Yes, the reason a lot of hospitals don’t allow food consumption during labor (especially after an epidural) is the risk of having to have an emergency C-section. We only intubate our patients if for some reason we have to do general anesthesia and put them to sleep. Most C-sections are able to be performed with an epidural or spinal anesthetic but in the case of an extreme emergency we have to pull out the big guns and get baby out immediately. From start to finish we can do this in 8 minutes. It’s a nightmare situation but there is a risk of aspiration during anesthesia if the patient vomits so most L&D units restrict food. But… Like @kiwi2628 said, no one is going to kick you out if you eat so whatever, it doesn’t make any sense to starve yourself while your body is burning the caloric equivalent of several marathons. My unit thankfully doesn’t do this, we continue to deliver legit food trays to the room unless mom isn’t tolerating it for some reason. Even then I try to get them to eat Jello or pudding or popsicles or something. 

Boobopgirl

That's very interesting.  They literally told both me and my sister in law (different hospitals) that they WOULD NOT do a C-section even in an emergency if we had eaten.  Obviously I know that they would and that's an empty threat.  And I was still stealing sips of my husband's Gatorade the whole time. But she didn't and it scared the 💩 out of her because she thought they'd let her baby die if she had some water.

kiwi2628

@Blondesweety444 like Pp said, even for emergency c sections if you have an epidural the no eating rule makes little sense. It’s only if you have a true emergent like ‘get this baby out in 8 minutes’ need intubation that it becomes a bigger deal. And even then, aspiration pneumonia is uncommon. But eating during labor has been shown to shorten labor, decrease the risk of ‘failure to progress’ due to exhaustion and increase mother satisfaction. Most other countries recommend laboring women eat/ it’s just in the US most hospitals don’t. 

aloha_mama

@Boobopgirl Okay, that’s just awful and untrue! If you’re threatening your patients then there’s definitely something very wrong there. I’m sorry you both had that experience!

kiwi2628

@Boobopgirl that is some really messed up stuff and I would never birth at a hospital that let that happen. Playing the ‘dead baby’ card is never ok. Neither is medical coercion. 

boymom312

I wanted a med free with my first. I was 10 days overdue when I had him and was induced with cervadil and had pitosin. I ended up having 2 failed epidurals. The only thing numb was a quarter sized area on my right thigh. I was not happy to say the least. DS1 was having issues as well. I ultimately needed the vac because I was so exhausted after having pit contracts for 2 days and no food. He came out crying and perfect from then on. I had. 2nd degree tear, but it Andy so bad.

When my second came naturally, I knew that I could do it without meds based on my last experience. That’s exactly what I did. I labored at home as long as I could. Ate a big ol bagel, then headed to the hospital. The labor was tough but manageable with breathing exercises. I used the ball a lot, walked a OT, and rocked standing with my arms and torso leaning on an elevated bed. One good push and he was out! From start to finish it was 12 hrs. I had a “skid mark tear” that was barely a 2. My recovery was amazing. DS2 was perfect. 

I was overdue with DS3. I was induced at 41 +1 wks with a balloon. I was determined to stay away from the pitosin and was adamant that it be a last ditch effort. I had back labor with him and labor was slow and hard. I opted to give the epi another shot. I really wanted to push through, probably could have if I knew I’d have him soon. (I didn’t have him soon) thankfully the epi worked. I didn’t like being confined to the bed at all though. DS3 was having issues as well and the doc gave me one shot to push him out or we were headed to an emergency c-section. 2 pushes and he was out. Took him a couple seconds to cry, but he did! Hasn’t stopped talking since! 

This time around I’d love another med free birth. It was such a positive experience for me. I really hate inductions! My doc won’t let me go beyond 40 wks this time though due to my age and history. So as much as I’d love another med free birth, I’d love a healthy baby more. Baby gets to decide this one! 

doxiemoxie212

Yeah, I think it's also important to be really clear with your team about what an emergent c-section is. A lot of non-medical people think an unplanned c-section is the same thing as emergent - it's not. If no one is rushing, it's not emergent. So, yeah, if mom and baby are still healthy but mom decides in the middle of labor she wants a c-section and she's eaten, her team is probably going to advise against that - but they might also advise against a c-section in that case even if she has eaten because a c-section is major surgery (and many hospitals and doctors are trying to keep their c-section rates low these days). If mom or baby is in severe distress whether or not you've eaten is super low on the priority list to check.