Hey everyone,
I know it’s still too early for most of us but I was wondering when most of you plan on sharing the news! This is my first pregnancy so I’m so excited to share. Hubby and I both told our closest friends (1 each) on the day we found out, mostly because they were the friends that knew we were TTC for over 20 months. But now we don’t know when to share the news with everyone else.
When are you planning on sharing with parents, grandparents, siblings, other close friends, extended family, employers, etc?
I appreciate any input!
Re: Sharing The News
On the other hand though, I'm super excited and want to just tell everyone now 😂 Not sure what we'll end up doing, but we waited until 14 weeks with our 1st and 10 weeks with our 2nd.
AFM My family already knew we were doing a FET--it would have been hard to hide because we traveled to visit the day after my embryo transfer and I couldn't do anything I would normally do (e.g., drink, swim) plus nightly progesterone shots. After my beta we told my MIL as well. And a handful of friends that we're close with or who have also dealt with IF.
Outside of immediate family, we waited until 13-14 weeks when I was pregnant with DD. The timing fell at Christmas so we used our holiday cards as the announcement. We'll probably do that for everyone else again this year but everyone will be getting holiday cards in November instead. ;-)
i think this time I’ll show early…we’ll see. I’m thinking seeing if i can hold off to 20 weeks to do a social media post
So we'll probably keep quiet as long as possible lol.
But with our first & second we announced before 12 to family and after 12 weeks on social media and to not so close family and friends.
As for social media, I don't know. Probably in the spring.
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022
DH and I will end up telling his family this week about this pregnancy because we are going on holiday with them and it will be very obvious if I'm not drinking/eating all the special things they've got planned. I would rather tell them on our own terms in a few weeks, but c'est la vie I guess 🤷♀️.
(Edited: for clarity)
Otherwise, we don't do announcements. Once we get into second tri, we'll tell siblings in a casual way (Hey, we're having another baby. Simple as that), parents will be free to tell whoever they wish. In the past I've sent a mass email to extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) and probably will again. I never post to social media about it until after the baby is born.
I’m only 5 & 1/2 weeks so far
i know they’ll be so happy.... I’m just a bundle of nerves & hope I’m not being crazy to tell them now! Haha so here’s to prayers for this being a happy memory we look back on, with a healthy baby in our arms.
The other "sticky" part is that I've been very open with our struggles and treatments, and my dearest friends are deeply aware of our timeline. And the last they knew was that I was waiting for my period, so that we can start our next egg retrieval. So, I'm sure I'll soon start getting questions about "how's it going? Is everything still on track?" (I've got a semi-decent response to that... I'm in the process of transferring previously frozen eggs from Canada > US, so that's taking time, so I'm just going to tell ppl the process was delayed, as was our cycle.)
I am part of an infertility therapy group which I joined in Nov 2020, and I'm now the 4/5 person to fall pregnant. So, I'll be telling them first.. at our next meeting.
After that, I think the first person we'll tell in person is my sister who is coming to visit on Oct 21. Knock on wood... I _should_ be 9 weeks along by then and I've just scheduled my 1st OB appointment for Oct 18. And then the next person would be my FIL as it's his bday on the 25th. He recently met his step-grandchild, so he's been getting some practice. It would be a nice surprise for him. I may have had my NIPT by then.
But I absolutely will not post on Facebook until after the baby is born. Having experience infertility, and having seen so many pregnancy announcements from friends my age, I have an extra appreciation for how gut-wrenching those announcements can be. I know some friends who are struggling, but I certainly don't know everyone on my FB who are having issues.
TTC History
TTC#2
Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center)
Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol
May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz
Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy
Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given
Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral
Oct 2024... currently awaiting a hysteroscopy (10/28) to check uterine cavity + check for endometritis
TTC #1
TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing
03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH.
06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering...
06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023
My parents were visiting from California when we got our positive test but I wanted to wait for confirmation from the ultrasound I just had. Now, my mom knows! (Since I need another woman close by to help me figure out what's normal haha!)
My sister was here and guessed it but I didn't confirm it to her. She can't keep her mouth shut when she drinks (nor can my dad; extroverts to the extreme!) so I'll tell our extended nuclear family late October when I'm entering second tri!
I appreciate the comments about social media or not. I share lots on my insta but the hubby doesn't. FB still thinks I'm single. So we'll play that by ear. I do like posting when your baby arrives! Cute idea.
But seriously, I absolutely loathe the attention you get while pregnant, so I'm not in a hurry. SO many comments on physical appearance, blegh, just hate it all. 😖 So I have no issues holding off until it's super obvious. Unfortunately my food aversions and the lack of wine with dinner multiple weeks in a row will tip off immediate family quick since we see them quite often, so they will probably know after our first appointment, but I'm ok with that. Basically, if I didn't tell you about my *tw* loss, you aren't going to find out anytime soon. I am excited to tell my bffs though since some of them are pregnant too, but I still want to wait until my appointment to know everything is ok.
(And yes, true story on every one of those comments).