February 2022 Moms

WTF Wednesday 6.30.2021


Re: WTF Wednesday 6.30.2021

  • I'm constantly going "WTF" any time I'm talking to a client's parent and the parent goes "I just don't understand what's wrong with my kid" and then proceeds to talk badly about them to me over the phone. like...if that's what you're willing to say to me, what are you saying to your kid directly?
    angelz429smithaus[Deleted User]
  • @chgilmore Ugh, that’s hard. Hopefully they don’t talk to their kids like that, or talk about their kids like that where the poor kids can hear them. 
    [Deleted User]
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  • @makingbacon unfortunately I think the kids do hear it, either when the parents talk to me or directly, because what their parents say to them take up a lot of our sessions :/ it's hard to hold sometimes, especially being PG 
    angelz429[Deleted User]
  • @chgilmore half the time there’s nothing wrong with the kids, just shitty parents. 
  • @chgilmore Oh my gosh, that is horrible. Everyone has bad moments, but it sounds like they are just awful. I’m not 100% sure what you do, but thank you for being someone the kids can talk to about it. 
  • @angelz429 this is why I try to do "parent check ins" that are basically therapy for the parent to work on skills like "let's not talk trash about our kid"
    @makingbacon I'm a therapist, I like my work 99% of the time, the other 1% is hating that I can't just fix it and make everything better but that's the helper in me lol
    smithausangelz429[Deleted User]
  • babyodobabyodo member
    edited July 2021
    @chgilmore I didn't know you're a therapist! I graduated with my MA in Counseling last year, but took a break before residency so I could have kids and finish my military career. :) I struggled with juggling internship & the military, and I didn't even have kids back then, so I knew I wouldn't be able to juggle residency + military + kids. It would just be too much.

    My WTF for today is a continuation of my rant from yesterday's check-in. I got a new referral to an OB/GYN near my house and the hospital which I delivered at last year. I called them this morning, and they no longer accept my insurance. So, I contacted my referrals department and let them know I need a new referral, which they gave me, but when I called them they said that I have to wait for their referrals department to call me. Ugggghhhh... if they're on the phone with me, why couldn't they just schedule my appointment right then instead of waiting for my referral to come through? My referral department told me they had faxed it hours before I made the call, so like, check your fax machine, lady.
    Me: 37 / DH: 41
    Due with baby #2: Feb 2022

  • lexilougoldenlexilougolden member
    edited July 2021
    @chgilmore I'm glad that you help the parents too (because clearly they need it!!) I'm sure that's hard to hear them say what they do though.  

    @babyodo Referrals/insurance can be such a nightmare.

    AFM I headed to get my US (first time ever going to this doctor) and they said I was at the wrong office (they couldn't tell me where to go on the phone when we made the appt??) Minor... but when you have to pee like 2 hours ago and have to hold it another 15 minutes,  it was annoying.  
    [Deleted User]chgilmore
  • @babyodo that is so frustrating. not like any of this is time sensitive or anything. hopefully everything gets their shit together soon!

    @lexilougolden props to you for even making it! he first ultrasound last time i followed their instructions to the T and drank exactly 32 ounces of water beforehand. i was almost in tears with how uncomfortable i was, i would never had made it an extra 15 minutes. you must have a bladder of steel  :D
  • @chgilmore oh that’s so hard. And also reminds me why I don’t do peds. 

    @babyodo that is such a pain about the insurance issue. And hard having to go outside your health are system for OB care.  Hope your referral comes through soon!

  • edited July 2021
    That is so weird re: having to hold all the pee?  Are they doing abdominal u/s already?  I always have to pee right before my (tv) u/s and any time I haven't peed enough, they send me out to go try to pee some more. 🤷
  • @BusinessWife My regular doctor always did transvaginal and abdominal scans for all the early ultrasounds. I was pretty much dancing at my first ultrasound at the RE for DS2 because I had to pee so bad, and the first thing they had me do was go pee. It was so weird for me lol. 
    [Deleted User]
  • @BusinessWife, yes it was abdominal. Apparently I went above and beyond and can drink less next time. Which is a huge relief because that was sooo uncomfortable! The sonographer kept saying "that's one full bladder!! Thank you for your efforts!"  :D
    [Deleted User]
  • @BusinessWife transvaginal and abdominal for the first ultrasound last time around.

    @makingbacon same for me! I was in there for about ten minutes and then they had me go pee so we could continue. when i got back she told my my bladder was still pretty full. for the AS i drank about half the water and had no problems so that's my plan for this one.
    [Deleted User]
  • @kaf1788 is it ok to giggle since he eventually got back in?  :D
    Pregnancy Ticker
    kaf1788chgilmoresmithaus[Deleted User]
  • @livingoffpbjs I definitely did!
    chgilmoresmithaus[Deleted User]
  • I'm so mad I won't get in for an initial u/s until 8.5 weeks.  Apparently they are very busy. I called multiple facilities!  I'm 42 and high risk and this is going to be my latest ever first u/s.....  :( 
  • @Eveinshock I'm sorry, waiting is so hard. I even got mine bumped up to 9 weeks (from 10) and I was so impatient for it to happen. Hopefully the days will fly by.
  • @Eveinshock when I called for my u/s appointment they were only able to get me in because someone had called right before me and cancelled their appointment. Even then, the appointment was 3 weeks out. The receptionist said they've been insanely busy. I'm guessing so many put off their annual well visits because of COVID and are now trying to get an appointment.

    My husband wanted me to call around and possibly switch doctors, but I figured it would be the same everywhere. 

    Hopefully future appointments are a little easier to get.
  • @Eveinshock Have you tried talking to your doctor’s nurse directly? I’ve found I have better luck messaging the nurse and getting appointments than I do going through the receptionist. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but it might be worth a try if you haven’t tried that yet?
  • So when I went to the first doctors appointment this week the doctor warned me herself that the ultrasound places are very busy, lots of pregnant people. She told me I might not get anything till almost 10 weeks! Like how is that ok?!
  • @Eveinshock I'm sorry it's so far out for your u/s appt, that's frustrating when you have an expectation that isn't met. Are there other places you can get an early one done separate from your provider? I will only have an anatomy scan at 20 weeks unless I have complications that arise but there are places I could go if I felt strongly about getting an earlier one. 

    [Deleted User]
  • Feeling super bummed about what I found out for my first doctors appointment. The office informed me that my DH would not be able to come to my appointment with me because he wasn't fully vaccinated. I am just having a hard time with this news because it is my first pregnancy and I have always imagined us both seeing and hearing the heartbeat together.
  • @bailey_baby oh wow, not even if he wears a mask? that's really frustrating :(
  • I'm so sorry @bailey_baby. I delivered my DS in July of 2020 and they didn't let partners attend any appointments or ultrasounds after February. He is my husband's first baby and it was so frustrating going into the office and seeing other people there not wearing masks and ignoring the rules about SO attending appointments. 

    However, pregnancy is considered a comorbidity for covid, and although my husband, my 3 oldest kids, and I are all fully vaccinated, I'd rather see them implement rules to keep extra people out of the office than blindly believe people when they say they are vaccinated. I don't worry that I will get covid, but I do worry for women who cannot vaccinate due to other medical reasons. 

    And I'm not at all saying it doesn't suck. With my last pregnancy we were in 2nd trimester when the entire world turned upside down. We had to completely adjust what we expected bringing a baby into our lives would look like. We still have family who haven't been able to meet him. I feel like getting pregnant right now we at least knew covid is a thing and could be somewhat prepared for those annoying new rules. 
  • @bailey_baby DH hasn't been able to go to any appointments with me for a very long time.  Luckily, I think most places have relaxed the rules at least about facetime and stuff like that, so you should at least be able to hear it with him live.  He could even be downstairs in the car or lobby whatever so you'd get to see him immediately after and heck - keep him on the phone the whole time for that matter!

    That is if you want to stay with that practice at all knowing out of the gate that is their policy.  My family and I are not getting vaccinated and it gives me great pause to see a clinic with a policy like that.  What's next?  Would he not be allowed in the delivery room, either?  GTFO.  I don't stand for that kind of noise, but I have been known to leave doctors more than once over less lol I take no shhh because seriously, you are their CUSTOMER.  You deserve the utmost level of treatment, care and respect that you are hoping for, and would expect from someone YOU HIRED.  Be empowered. :)
  • LOL @ being their customer. 😂 Totally fine to switch providers at any point, but every "business" has policies to enforce whether or not you agree with them. 

    I'm honestly a little shocked that people are surprised their unvaccinated partners aren't allowed to go along, given that it has been news for almost a year and a half now. 
  • ...and that's why you are free to go to a doctor whose policies fit your desired care plan.
  • I was actually surprised when they told me 1 person could come to appointments and ultrasounds. Only Bc I know people who have had babies during covid and dads hadn’t seen any ultrasound in person! FaceTime only. 
    modoodles[Deleted User]chgilmore
  • @Eveinshock yeah, it's true.  But things are opening up again.  Actually, just as I was about to leave the RE I was shocked to see partners being allowed back at appointments (regardless of vaccine status).  I did have a covid baby and he hadn't been allowed at anything since March.
  • For our June '20 Covid baby, we were "lucky" because everything shut down weeks after our last ultrasound, so DH was able to go to all of my ultrasounds, but he wasn't able to go to any appointments after that. DH was allowed in the room during labor and delivery as long as he didn't leave.  If he left the building during my stay, he wouldn't have been allowed to return. 

    I can see @BusinessWife's point about it being concerning, but at the same time, they aren't refusing @bailey_baby prenatal care.  They are stating their policy is no unvaccinated partners/guests.  I can understand the concern for other pregnant patients who are not vaccinated because of vaccine concerns being exposed to the unvaccinated partner/guest of another patient.  I can also understand switching to a provider who allows unvaccinated people to attend appointments so your H can go with you. 
    lexilougoldenmodoodleschgilmore[Deleted User]
  • I understand why they do not want to allow unvaccinated people into my doctor's appointment, but they do allow them at the ultrasound office? Also, It doesn't really work to keep unvaccinated people out of the office if I just came from the car with my DH... It is all just so contradictory and nothing really works to stop the spread. I have actually already had Covid, twice. 😬 My DH and entire family have all contracted and recovered from Covid, so I'm a little biased at this point. If a proof of vaccination would allow my DH to come in the office , why can't we show a positive antibody test? I know there are no rational answers to my questions, it's more just me venting at this point. 🙄
    [Deleted User]cyanope
  • @bailey_baby I understand that it is super frustrating and from my experience with anything medical, stances on vaccines, people accompanying you etc will vary from place to place

    @modoodles I get your POV for sure. My April '20 baby was born in the thick of it all and was a completely different experience than I was expecting obviously. 

    I guess from my perspective, a doctor's office is still a personal business with it's own doctors/nurses/admin with differing opinions and risk levels. While I can understand the sentiment about wanting to find someone with similar beliefs as you, I think the idea of us being the customer and expected to bend to our every wish is a little unrealistic. I could just as easily go in to my doctor and say "I insist that every person in here be vaccinated" and are they supposed to change their policy just because I told them to? Definitely not. They establish their rule and I chose whether or not I agree with it.
  • @modoodles To your points:
    1. Other things that stop the spread? Natural immunities from those who have had COVID and recovered. So, back to my original point that an antibody test should be the same. There have been SEVERAL studies released recently (and published by both the New York Times and CNN if you are interested in reading them) that state that those who have had COVID and have recovered have just as strong (if not stronger) immunities than those who have been vaccinated.
    2. No, I didn’t know what I was “getting into” when I got pregnant, so to assert such is inconsiderate. My entire state is open. How was I to anticipate that this would be my OB office’s policy? 
    3. And I never claimed that my situation applied to the general population. I was talking about MY personal experience. And believe me, I am not diminishing the effects of COVID. I’ve had it (twice, as I said earlier). It’s awful. I lost my 100 year old grandpa to it. And I’m still dealing with lingering side effects. So, I am not speaking naively. But my husband DID recover and has VERY strong antibodies as a result. How is that any different from someone who has been vaccinated. 
    4. And to those who “actually had a COVID baby,” I truly am sorry. I couldn’t imagine. But to use that as ammunition to try to diminish my own feelings on not being able to have my husband at the first ultrasound for our first baby isn’t really fair. I’m sorry that my vent was triggering for you, but again…my feelings are valid too. You said that you would have given “anything to have your partner with you.” That is literally what I was venting about as well. So…I don’t understand the disconnect here? I also don’t get to have my partner with me. That’s the point of my vent. 
    5. I posted in this thread because I assumed people would be sympathetic to something that has been really, REALLY hard for me. Not to get a run down on why OB offices implement the policies that they do. I am aware why the policies are in place (even if I don’t fully agree with them). I was simply venting on a situation that has been hard for me.

    [Deleted User]cyanope
  • modoodlesmodoodles member
    edited July 2021
    @bailey_baby I won't sit here and argue science with you. If you've spent the last year and a half ignoring it and survived- then great. However, you are completely contradicting yourself when you say you would do anything to have your partner there with you and yet you refuse to follow the policy that would allow him to be there. Posting on a public forum doesn't automatically garner sympathy or guarantee a lack of response. I can respectfully disagree with you, which is what I have done. Clearly we won't be seeing eye to eye on this subject. 
  • @bailey_baby

    vaccination immunity is likely longer lasting than natural infection (as evidence by science but also your own anecdote shows it too with reinfection)

    Your husband may have antibodies now, but they’re not expected to last as long as the vaccine and may not protect against the different variants that the vaccines are showing to protect against. 

    Though I won’t give medical advice to a pregnant person about the vaccine, I do 100% recommend having your husband get the vaccine, especially if that’s the rule for him to be able to go to appointments with you. But that’s my own knowledge and bias and medical opinion. 
  • @modoodles, ignoring science? Okay. As I mentioned earlier, the studies I cited are also backed by science and peer-reviewed. Just because they do not fit your narrative does not mean that I am "ignoring science." I can cite them if you would like. And no, posting on a public forum does not automatically garner sympathy, but being a decent human should (at least in my book). It also seems like our definition of "respectfully disagreeing" differs too, and that's okay. 
    @angelz429, my "reinfection" was more accurately a relapse, since I relapsed within a matter of weeks from the first infection.
    And just to clarify. I am not anti-vaccine. Quite the opposite. My husband does intend to get it (as do I) once more time has passed and more studies have been conducted. MUCH of the general population feels the same way, and I do not agree with policies that feel like disguised coercion. Just my two cents. People don't have to agree with me. And that's okay. I would just like to reiterate my original point. It is okay to feel sad that my husband doesn't get to go with me to my appointment. That is a human response...and doesn't necessitate people trying to "educate" me on why my very valid feelings aren't okay. We can leave it at that.
    [Deleted User]cyanope
  • @bailey_baby I was just commenting on your comment. 

    It’s 100% valid to feel sad that your husband isn’t there for sure. 
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