@optimistgardener It’s ok that this conversation has veered a bit off the weekly formula. I think it’s great that we can discuss all these things here. I love what you posted last night as a final word when we thought this thread would remain in last week’s history.💗 I have family members who are queer and one is seeking academic positions, with both being still quite young (earliest 30s). So this convo has been really informative; I will be sure to share some of this with her/the two of them as they plan for their eventual family.
@optimistgardener. @chichiphin On academia: I think both of you are right, to some extent. *if* you are one of the lucky few who gets a tenure-track job at a rich institution, there is a lot of flexibility that can be really useful when pregnant and having young children. I am one of these few (most of my luck is that I am in a discipline that pays a lot and has lots and lots of jobs), and those things are very nice. But my field is also very male-dominated and there is a strong culture around work being first, and everything else being ancillary. I have plenty of stories about male colleagues who asked me, for instance, to come in to administer an oral exam the week I was due to give birth. I was somewhat protected by female senior colleagues with kids but in my field that is a rarity. My chair was the first person *ever* at my university to get a tenure clock extension for having kids-- in 2006! Bananas. And, as @optimistgardener said, in most fields in academia, there simply are no jobs like this, or getting one is basically winning the lottery. So really, you are adjuncting and visiting-lecturer-ing for very little money and stability and certainly no good benefits. Personally, I think we need to be a lot more upfront with humanities grad students that they should not plan on getting a job in academia when they are done.
Re: IF Testing & Treatment w/o 4.26
On academia: I think both of you are right, to some extent. *if* you are one of the lucky few who gets a tenure-track job at a rich institution, there is a lot of flexibility that can be really useful when pregnant and having young children. I am one of these few (most of my luck is that I am in a discipline that pays a lot and has lots and lots of jobs), and those things are very nice. But my field is also very male-dominated and there is a strong culture around work being first, and everything else being ancillary. I have plenty of stories about male colleagues who asked me, for instance, to come in to administer an oral exam the week I was due to give birth. I was somewhat protected by female senior colleagues with kids but in my field that is a rarity. My chair was the first person *ever* at my university to get a tenure clock extension for having kids-- in 2006! Bananas. And, as @optimistgardener
said, in most fields in academia, there simply are no jobs like this, or getting one is basically winning the lottery. So really, you are adjuncting and visiting-lecturer-ing for very little money and stability and certainly no good benefits. Personally, I think we need to be a lot more upfront with humanities grad students that they should not plan on getting a job in academia when they are done.
BFP 11/30/2017 | MMC 12/31/2017
BFP 6/22/2018 | CP 6/27/2018
BFP 10/5/2018 | EDD 6/14/2019
Baby girl born 6/19/19
TTC #2 Since May 2020
BFP 7/18/2020 | MonoDi Twins | MMC 9/10/2020
BFP 11/7/2020 | CP 11/9/2020
RE Consult January 2021 | Dx "borderline DOR"/RPL
IVF with PGT:
Standard Antagonist:
ER #1 3/27/2021 7R | 5M | 3F | 2B | 1 PGT-A Normal, 1 low-level mosaic
ER #2 4/22/2021 10R | 7M | 3F | 2B | 0 normal, 2 aneuploid
ER #3 5/19/2021 2R | 1M | 0F
Estrogen Priming Antagonist:
ER #4 7/10/2021 5R | 4M | 3F | 1B | 1 PGT-A Normal
Duostim (Standard Antagonist):
ER #5 9/22/2021 13R | 11M | 8F | 5B | 2 PGT-A Normal, 1 low-level mosaic, 2 aneuploid
ER #6 10/9/2021 9R | 6M | 4 F | 1B | 1 aneuploid
FET #1 11/5/2021 | EDD 7/24/2022
married 11.1.14
ttc #1 since 5.18
bfp 12.22.18 letrozole + progesterone
d&e due to trisomy 13/hydrops at 15wks
bfp 7.21.19 letrozole + IUI
little girl A born 3.26.20