Private Group/FB Migration - Page 2 — The Bump
August 2021 Moms

Private Group/FB Migration


Re: Private Group/FB Migration

  • I agree with previous posters with having some parameters for coming to the private area. 

    (I actually had a moment of FOMO when making that post where I wondered if maybe I had just missed the boat and everyone was already there without me. 😂 )  

    Pregnancy Ticker

  • If a private group is made and only active posters stay in, will people also check in here occasionally for advice/to help with questions or support etc to those who aren’t kept in the private group? 

    I was highly addicted to social networking for years and it took my divorce and my daughter really needing the attention for me to realize how much of my life I spent on my phone (hence me getting rid of my fb). I try my best to come on here time to time but here lately when I do have down time, I nap. My daughter is still being virtually taught and while most of it is so independent there are times she needs my help with something and I have to devote myself to that. On top of that she has 6 dance classes a week I need to get her to and from that are half an hour from my home, and I have her far more than her father does so I have little help from him. while she’s with me and we don’t have school or other activities we spend that time together doing things (and especially now that a baby is coming after 11 years of her being my only focus, it’s so important to me). However, this pregnancy has been so rough for me.  It has been way worse than my pregnancy with my daughter. I still get waves of nausea here and there. I’m always tired. And this weekend I had what I’m assuming were Braxton Hicks but they were painful and off and on throughout the day Saturday and I was so terrified I was going into preterm labor. Luckily they eventually went away and were not consistent enough for me to feel like I needed to go to L&D. But, all that being said, the bump (while it was set up way different my last pregnancy) has always been a go to for me when I had questions or wanted to see if someone experienced something similar. 

    I try to read questions before asking something that’s probably already been asked and if I find the answer I’m looking for, I won’t make a post about it. So I don’t really post much but want to know that if I do need something that there is support somewhere out there for me. I know for sure I won’t meet the criteria to be kept in a private group. I cannot guarantee a set amount of posts from me, or that I’ll go on here even once a week. Sorry about the rant lol I just want to know I have somewhere to go when I need to talk to someone in the same stage of pregnancy as me. 
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  • @ashsowers2020, that’s a fair question and I’m sorry if this does(did) cause some distress for you.  I’d say that active posting doesn’t have to mean posting super regularly.  I wasn’t on here in the beginning and only recently joined in the conversations, but there are others who have been busier and not posting as often also.  I’d count all of us as active since life can be so crazy. 

    I recognized your name, which is something that I’d consider criteria as being an “active” poster.  No one is meant to be left out, but the move is more so that more personal items can be talked about without feeling exposed.  I haven’t scrolled back but I think it was @CapricaAndrea that mentioned that something like likes given being used even if comments aren’t made.  Sometimes that’s all I get done, then I come back later to post or finish a post I’ve started. I hope this helps, and yes, I do believe the public portions would be checked- I’m nosy enough to look at other boards so there’s that.  I restarted the convo after lurking to see if there were adorable baby pics on April/May boards and found nothing. 
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • @loloyoyo26 I appreciate the clarification. Yes, I agree about the privacy that is definitely something I prefer. Whatever is decided regarding the private board works for me! I will do my best to be active whenever possible :) I can’t wait until our babies arrive and we can all share pics of their adorable faces. It’s so unreal how quickly things seem to be moving now!
  • Happy to migrate to a private Bump group now and I'm fine with whatever parameters you all want to set up for who gets included!
  • @claireloSC but that raises an issue of what you post about? I have no interest in people that do not lend anything to the community- isn't the whole point of this to interact, offer, and receive support? If someone posts one time a month about their random issue, never responds, and doesn't interact, that doesn't really suggest they want to be part of more intimate community. IMO that's what the main board is for.

    I think once in 45 days way too generous. We all have busy lives, but 90% of us still pop up once a week or so.
  • Yes, cool with the private group.  I've never been a part of one though (didn't participate with my daughter and was mostly a lurker with my son-never felt comfortable in that group) So I'm not sure sure what we have to do!


  • I get what @surrenderdorothy said above and I agree with what she said. Although, I won’t be a once a week consistent poster, I know that for sure. I am fine with whatever rules are set in place and won’t feel bad if I don’t fit the criteria. I do know once my daughter goes back to school later this year and I’m home just me and the baby, I’ll have his nap times to get on way more often. If I don’t fit the criteria now maybe I can try to join later on. I definitely don’t want to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable because I am not posting often enough. And I don’t want any rules to be changed or bent just for my benefit. Y’all do what you need to and I will do my best :) 
  • @ashsowers2020 I can assure you I didn't mean you when I responded. You always post thoughtful questions and responses, even if you aren't around all the time. I recognized your SN right away.
  • Yup, was just throwing a number out there to get some responses going. In my last BMB we basically just invited people who didn't ask about soap gender tests etc, lol. Pretty much was a snark filter. But I'm happy we're developing some public criteria around this. It would be good to start making a spreadsheet or something of people but it would be hard/annoying to track down the infrequent posters in a methodical way. Everyone who has weighed in on this thread is an active participant IIRC.
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerMarried DW <3 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 o:); Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020 
  • @surrenderdorothy oh I didn’t take it like you were directing it at me, you just gave a response that I totally agree with and I wasn’t really thinking about it in that way. I myself would be uncomfortable sharing personal info or pics of my kids even, knowing there are people just lurking and not posting. I’m a pretty private person myself. So hearing what you had to say opened my eyes to the bigger picture :) there was no offense taken from your post nor did I feel like it was directed at me. But thank you for that :)
  • I like the idea of the love it’s to get into the private group. I’ve been trying to remember how we decided to allow people into the private fb group when we moved but I can’t remember. I do know it was a certain amount of posts/participation. 
  • Just to update it's been more than 24 hours and TB support still hasn't emailed me back about setting up the group and as far as I can tell that's the only way to do it. Once I get in I will let you all know!
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerMarried DW <3 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 o:); Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020 
  • I’d agree that posting this thread in and of itself is a bit of a litmus test and evidence of participation.  

    So I was going to ask a question but it was pretty much what @pickle-chips suggested upthread lol.

    Thank you @claireloSC, for doing the work of trying to get this rolling! 
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • grogugrogu member
    @claireloSC I did some deep digging and found this, I don't want to be the one in charge of the group so I didn't start it.

    So, if someone wants to start it???? ☺️
  • @BourbonBiscuits omg that’s so crazy! How did y’all figure it out?
  • @BourbonBiscuits omg that’s so crazy! How did y’all figure it out?
    Yes please tell- that’s so crazy! 
    Pregnancy Ticker

  • cyanopecyanope member
    Yeah, I need these details, @BourbonBiscuits!
  • @BourbonBiscuits - That’s so creepy! I’ve been in groups before where it turned out a very popular poster was a catfish but for some reason someone stealing pregnancy photos makes it way creepier! 
  • Super shocking that TB didn't respond quickly :lol: 

    I'm happy to start the PG if y'all want - I've been MIA the past few weeks because of work mayhem, but I'm an admin for F19. I like the idea of a lovetit for recognizable SNs - can we also do some kind of verification of *actually* being pregnant? We had a catfish almost make it into our PG in F19 using pictures of a pregnant friend. It was sooooo creepy
    I was on a different forum after my daughter was born and there were quite a few people who pretended to have kids and they really didn’t. They used pictures from old users on old boards as their own and it really turned me off of sharing my daughters face publicly after that. Everyone in the group had to take a selfie with their child holding a piece of paper with the date, a silly phrase made up by the group admin, and a picture everyone had to draw (I believe it was a flower) just as proof that it was really them posting lol I think something similar to that with our belly bumps would be a great verification
  • Super shocking that TB didn't respond quickly :lol: 

    I'm happy to start the PG if y'all want - I've been MIA the past few weeks because of work mayhem, but I'm an admin for F19. I like the idea of a lovetit for recognizable SNs - can we also do some kind of verification of *actually* being pregnant? We had a catfish almost make it into our PG in F19 using pictures of a pregnant friend. It was sooooo creepy
    Details, details.. thats insane..... 
  • @BourbonBiscuits that is wiiiild. What happened after she was caught, did she like, apologize or explain herself? I want to see inside the mind of those kinds of people, lolol.
  • @BourbonBiscuits when I get stories like that it makes me wonder how lonely people must be and how much time they must have on their hands… how strange and unnerving. I’m glad you weeded her our before the PG. 
  • @BourbonBiscuits so bizarre!! I agree with @surrenderdorothy about wondering how bored or lonely people must be or maybe they just like drama?? 

    There was lots of catfish drama / catfish alarm bells on my F17 board because it was fairly soon after the really big catfish drama I think in 2016? Where there was a popular board member who stole money from other members under the guise of fundraising for another mum on the board?? I can’t remember all the details, because it wasn’t my board. Were any of you part of the original group? I know the catfish reveal thread still exists on here somewhere. It’s like Bump lore.
  • grogugrogu member
    @pickle-chips that was brought up IN TTGP recently! She used photos of some random Swedish girl or something. It was bananas!
  • @the_most_happy no!! She never owned up to it publicly. There was some private message conversation with her (I wasn't in that portion) and then she just disappeared. I went back and looked yesterday at our board and she continued to post, trying to engage with people who hadn't migrated, long after we moved to FB. So creepy. I posted in our F19 FB group yesterday and we all reminisced about our big catfishing expedition :lol:
  • Well, this thread has made me feel like I need to be a lot more suspicious than I realized! All these catfishing incidents are so weird and creepy.
  • Omg I am stranger danger for REAL. But especially after that experience. You just never know. Which is why I'm on board with something more than just "I recognize that name" to get into the PG. Because she participated a TON and was not a real pregnant person
  • Wow that’s wow that’s crazy! The biggest drama from either of my other boards was one woman who made it through all the way to our Facebook group and was even there for a few months. Her baby was premie and had some health issues and many of the group members sent her gifts/money to help out (which is common amongst this group). Then a few months later they went on a lavish vacation to Vegas and followed that up shortly after with a sob story and a GoFundMe page about how bad their medical bills were. It wasn’t just our group they were hitting up though, it was *all* of their Facebook friends and who knows who else. There was just always something that she was soliciting money for. 
  • @CapricaAndrea I vaguely remember this going down. I wasn't in that group, but I think a friend was? Or it just spilled over via rumor into my group. I am a very generous person, but so so weary of stuff like that because I feel like those stories are so common.
  • @surrenderdorothy it was in the June 2017 group if that helps at all. But I’m sure it’s happened more than once!
  • @CapricaAndrea eeeeeee the gofundme stuff always makes me nervous. That's so sketchy.
  • @CapricaAndrea makes sense also a summer 2017 BMB and I think we had a few crossovers in my group that kept us up to date on the drama.
  • After reading all these responses, my previous BMBs sound incredibly tame! We had a ton of snarck but that was amusing more than anything else. 
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