TTCAL w/o 3.22

inthewoods23

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status: 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions? 

GTKY: What's your favorite spring attire?

rgn12

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Loss @ 5 weeks in Dec.

Status: TWW 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Pretty good actually! I’m super busy, but it’s not a bad thing for right now. I don’t know why, but I feel more at peace and calm this cycle rather than anxious. I think having some time to process the CP has helped. Last cycle was my first cycle TTCAL. Although who knows, maybe this will change tomorrow, haha. I’ll take it for now. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?  HPT this week 😬

Questions? None

GTKY: What's your favorite spring attire? Covid times, leggings/loungewear. Pre-Covid times, casual dresses and lots of florals

ETA weird spacing 

angelz429

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

hi. New here. My loss is new on 2/25/21. I was 23+4 when we TFMR my surprise miracle 3rd baby. My husband had a vasectomy 3 years ago now. After the initial shock of the pregnancy, I was very excited about the prospect of one more. 

At 17w we were told AFP was elevated (increased risk for spina bifida), then at 18w had an early anatomy scan and was reassured things were normal. They wanted to watch me closely because my last baby was a 31 weeker. 

At 21w we learned he dropped from the 10th to the less than 1st percentile in size. I had a severe chorioamniotic membrane separation. By week 23 we learned there was absent cord flow. His prognosis became worse and worse week after week. It was likely we would deliver soon and he would either be born still, live his days in the NICU without ever coming home after an invasive stay, or get to come home with likely severe and lifelong disabilities due to the extreme prematurity and sIUGR. So, we chose to suffer so he (and our living children) wouldn’t have to. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make. Something I’m still grieving and processing. 

Status: my husband finally agreed to try for another. So waiting for the all clear to start. But also waiting for microarray testing so we can be counseled on our risks. Just trying to get a sense of this board. 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? After my initial excitement at the prospect of trying, I immediately felt awful, scared and apprehensive. I know I want this, but I also have felt some peace with my loss recently that I didn’t expect to have this early so I felt bad for not feeling worse. It’s a weird vicious cycle. Maybe therapy is helping. Or my antidepressant. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Waiting on microarray testing from my loss in February so we can be counseled by MFM. 

Questions? What is CP in the blanket TW? That was an acronym I couldn’t figure out. 

GTKY: What's your favorite spring attire? I’m not sure. I’m not very stylish or style focused. I wear the same stuff year round pretty much. There’s not a lot of variability in Florida weather 🤷🏻‍♀️

rgn12

@angelz429 I am so sorry for your loss! ❤️

CP is for chemical pregnancy. I’m not really entirely sure what the time range is for that, I think like 4-5 weeks maybe? 

angelz429

@rgn12 thanks 💜

bumblebee0210

@angelz429. Oh man, I am so sorry. TFMR seems like one of the hardest things to go through, and I cannot imagine having to make that decision. All the creepy internet hugs. This is a safe place to process all of your feelings, including the unique mix of anxiety/excitement/dread/hope that comes with TTC after loss. 

inthewoods23

@rgn12 calm and at peace is good!

@angelz429 oh my, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the amount of guilt and grief you've been feeling. I also felt like I had moved on too soon with my loss, but I believe humans are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. Since your DH had a vasectomy when you had this surprise pregnancy, did he get it reversed now?

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. loss at 8 weeks, Oct 2020 (exactly 5 months ago)

Status: pretty sure I'm finally WTO today. AF did not arrive yesterday as expected even though my temps were down for days

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I have a love/hate relationship with the number 23 right now. I was born on the 23rd, but had my loss on the 23rd. And today is also the 23rd and AF seems to be finally showing up so yeah... I have feelings about that. My brain is primed for finding connections in numbers/dates to other significant things in life and this cycle is full of it. This is cycle 5 AL and I'm pretty sure the timing works out to do a pregnancy announcement ON our 5th anniversary. Cue unnecessary pressure

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I'm going to try holding off on OPKs until CD13 or 14. Being a little more lax with that and about our timing seemed to help get us KU last time so maybe maybe maybe.

Questions? None for here

GTKY: What's your favorite spring attire? Since it starts warming up as spring goes on, I love wearing long sleeves and/or hoodies. So what if it's 65 outside, I love feeling extra warm. First day of putting shorts on is always a good feeling for me

gingermama29

@rgn12 glad you're feeling more at peace this cycle. Crossing fingers for a BFP for you this week!!

@angelz429 I'm so sorry for your loss. That is heartbreaking and I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you. Sending creepy internet hugs.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
1 loss Jan 2021 - suspected blighted ovum

Status: technically benched still, but NTNP

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?
Things are going pretty well. I've been thinking about a way to honor my loss recently and figured out how I wanted to do that. I've been wanting to get a tattoo for over a year and had a good idea if what I wanted (but haven't gotten it yet). With my loss, I've come up with a second tattoo plan and that's to have a gladiolus (August flower) bud, along with a fully bloomed violet *TW* (Feb flower for my LC).


Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Nope.

Questions? Have any of you done something special like a tattoo or jewelry to honor your loss(es)?

GTKY:  What's your favorite spring attire?
I've been really enjoying wearing dresses again. Otherwise, jean capris and a cute top. 

rgn12

@gingermama29 I love that idea! ❤️

ReadyForaB

@rgn12 @angelz429 @inthewoods23 @gingermama29 I am so sorry for all of your losses.  All so different but all so hard. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
I am new here this month after suffering a missed miscarriage. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and have a four year old son.  We unexpectedly got pregnant (positive test on February 11th) and found out we had a missed miscarriage.  Baby stopped growing at 6+3.  I took misoprostol this past weekend and I have an appointment tomorrow morning to make sure everything has passed. We were not trying and honestly thought we were one and done as our life felt complete.  Now, after this loss we all realize how happy having a baby made us and we really do want another. 

Status: benched, I guess?  Waiting to see what my OB says tomorrow. We want to start trying again ASAP.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Things are okay.  Coming off the shock of miscarriage.  You never think it will happen to you until it does I guess.  One of the hardest parts for me was the fact that we told our (very mature) 4 year old and he was so excited.  He told his entire daycare the very next day (was not expecting him to spill the beans like that).  Having to tell him the baby "stopped growing" broke my heart.  He seems okay.  But I can't stop thinking about if he is hurting as much as we are. Maybe we shouldn't have told him so early but our thought was, he is part of the family an if something happens, it is life. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No.  Waiting to see when my doctor thinks it is okay to try again.  I started temping this morning to get back into the grove I was in when trying to conceive my son. 

Questions? Have any of you had to explain a loss to a child? What was your experience?

GTKY: What's your favorite spring attire? I love being able to wear dresses again.  They are the most comfortable thing in my opinion. 

fifilala516

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
CP March '21. Thought I was having implantation bleeding, but it got progressively heavier and I ended up taking a pregnancy test. Had to go for multiple blood drawings to confirm HCG was dropping.

Status: Benched - have to wait until AF comes, and then we can try again after that.

How are things going? I'm ok but not. I feel a little guilty that this wasn't by any means as traumatic a MC as some other women have, but I also know that a loss is a loss no matter how far along you were. It's so cruel. This was my first pregnancy and I am terrified it's going to happen again. All the normal feelings, I guess.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?  No

Questions? I know I have to wait for AF to come before I can try again, but would it be a waste of OPK strips to track my cycle so I can see when I am fertile/track my luteal phase? I know I can do what I want, but was wondering what other people have done.

GTKY: What's your favorite spring attire? I love a nice, chic blazer or a cute top with a leather jacket!

rgn12

@ReadyForaB I’m so sorry for your loss! I hope you get good news at your appt tomorrow. 

*TW LC*

I don’t have any direct experience with explaining a loss to a child, my daughter was way too young to understand what happened. But I think probably giving them a safe space to talk about it and ask questions (if needed) can be helpful. Some kids may respond differently, and that’s okay. Kids sometimes surprise you with their resiliency! 

rgn12

@fifilala516 when I had my CP in Dec people told me I didn’t have to wait to TTC. I used OPKs just to see what was happening, and then benched myself until after my first AF. I will say it did help me mentally, I felt like things were getting back to “normal.” I don’t know how accurate it is or anything, but it gave me some peace of mind. 

inthewoods23

@gingermama29 the thought of a tattoo pops up in my head every so often. I just have such a hard time deciding! I love your idea with the month flowers.

@ReadyForaB "you never think it will happen to you until it does I guess". Yep this was me. We went through years of IF and were taking a break with the pandemic and tried naturally. DH was always worried about it but I would always say there's no reason to believe we'd have a MC yet here we are.

@fifilala516 I chose to temp after my MC. For shits and giggles I did take an OPK around the usual time I would O and it turned out to be positive. At the time I still had some HCG in my system so I was a little surprised but happy that my body seemed to be business as usual. O was confirmed by BBT as well so I knew exactly when to expect AF which was nice (although it ended up coming a day early haha). I got lucky in that my cycle wasn't really affected. I would say most who have CPs don't really see an issue with their cycles besides maybe having a delayed O.

gingermama29

@inthewoods23 oops we must have posted at the same time this morning. Sorry for your millstone of 5 months today any the pressure you're putting on yourself. Crossing everything that it'll work out perfectly for you though!

@ReadyForaB so sorry for your loss. *TW* LC

We had told my 3YO about my pregnancy and her becoming a big sister. She told her teachers at daycare so it sucked to tell them when I lost the pregnancy. DD brought up being a big sister a couple times and I told her it wasn't going to happen yet, that the baby was gone which was hard. But she's gone with the flow pretty well. I think I'll wait longer to tell DD next time.

@fifilala516 so sorry for your loss. It is definitely horrible and hard no matter how far along you are. Sending hugs. 

ReadyForaB

Ladies, I apologize, I did not realize I needed to TW - LC.  My true apologies. 

@gingermama29 - TW - LC

Yes, telling daycare was hard but luckily I have a friend who is family members with one of the teachers so I asked her to let them know to avoid any awkward conversations. I plan to wait longer next time as well.  I wanted to wait longer this time to be honest but my husband could not contain his excitement. Maybe I will have to keep it from him for a bit next time. Kidding! (kind of.)

angelz429

@inthewoods23 no need to reverse it since it obviously reversed itself 🤷🏻‍♀️ After 2.5 years I took out my IUD, period next month, surprise pregnant the month after, so hoping it’s “easy” this time around

@ReadyForaB i had to explain our almost 24 week loss to our 4yo & 10yo. The 10yo grieved but after a couple weeks of being sad, he was back to himself. He’s more concerned about me. Love that little guy. My 4yo is heartbreakingly naive. We we direct that the baby died. I tried several kids grid books and the one that resonated the most with us, despite us not being religious was “We we’re Gonna have a baby but had an Angel instead.” She still asks questions like at the wishing fountain “did all those people have babies that died too?” Or asking if we can have an alive baby or pretending to push her brother in the stroller 😞 it’s sweet and heartbreaking. 

I also didn’t think we needed to TW on this thread since it’s got a blanket TW?

inthewoods23

@angelz429 do they really fail over time? I had no idea. I know they can fail from the get go and that's why they get checked after 6 months or so. And TW should be used when talking about LCs here. Anything related to loss doesn't need a TW since that's what this thread is all about. A TW for LCs isn't needed when you intro in the newbie thread and the TFAS thread (which we haven't been creating for some time).

angelz429

@inthewoods23 my bad. Will add a TW to my post here. 

Yeah, MH said he called his surgeon and was told they still recommend another form of birth control because the vas deferens want to be connected so it essentially will try to self heal. Tubals are known to do this too. 

angelz429

TW Sorry y’all. My intro post here discusses LC. 

It won’t let me edit it to add a TW. Sorry!!!

ReadyForaB

Thanks for your responses ladies.  I had my follow up appointment today and my OB said I am almost all cleared out, he doesn't even need to see me back.  He also said that there is no reason I can't start trying right away (a week after all bleeding stops).  I asked if I should wait until I have one period and he said nope!  I will ovulate once before then and there is no use wasting a cycle. 

@angelz429 that is heartbreaking! TW-LC

My son told me shortly after that he wished we were still having a baby a few times.  It is so sad.  I hope we can give him that one day. 

ReadyForaB

In follow up to my last post, since my doctor said it is okay to start trying again immediately, would you ladies consider the date of miscarriage CD1?  I am temping. 

inthewoods23

@angelz429 fascinating that the vas deferens would want to heal itself! No worries on the TWs. There are some pinned posts at the top of the thread list for newbies that cover much of the rules we operate by. When to use TWs and such, what the acronyms mean, etc.

@ReadyForaB I'm actually surprised if you're not totally cleared out that you'd get the ok to TTC! I would think most docs want to ensure all remnants of the last pregnancy are gone so there's no confusion if a BFP in the following cycle is truly a new pregnancy or from what may still be remaining in the uterus. All of my tracking apps considered the day of my MC to be CD1. They told me bleeding would be for another week or so. I ended up bleeding for 5 days and had another 3 days of what I considered to be spotting.

ReadyForaB

@inthewoods23 yea he isn’t even tracking my hcg levels down 🤷🏻‍♀️. I supposed if I think I’m pregnant they will see if my levels are doubling (same thing they made me do this pregnancy). He said I have mostly some clots left. (I’m still bleeding a tad so I figured). I was honestly surprised by his seeming lax attitude but I’ll take it. I wasn’t sure what to expect. 

angelz429

I just found out that it looks like I might have had chronic histiocytic intervillositis

Which of course I’m looking up and is terrifying.

im not going to freak out until I meet with my MFM.... but this might mean that I am high risk for recurrence of our late second tri loss. It might mean that it won’t be worth the risk of ttc. Of course we find this out today, 1 month post loss and the day I started my period 😞

inthewoods23

@angelz429 I'm so sorry you got that news. Definitely stay away from Dr. Google. Easier said than done of course. Let us know what they say. I hope there is something that can be done to reduce the risk. Be kind to yourself sending lots of hugs