Tuesday Tips

yellingbanana

Being pregnant, having a baby, and raising a child are all challenging. There are some things that I wish someone told me before having my baby. What tips can you share that you wish you knew? Any secret hacks? The best swaddle style? How to handle a big belly in the car? Let’s give each other some tips on how to get through this as successfully as possible!

mrosek91

Try not to punch someone when they give you advise about sleeping. Whether it's while pregnant, and they say "sleep now while you can" or in the new born phase and they say "sleep while the baby's sleeping" just tune them out.

yellingbanana

I was 22 when I had my first child, and I read everything I could get my hands on to prepare myself. I knew that right after having the baby that you get period-like bleeding. What I didn’t know was that it would be the most intense, heavy, crazy period of my life. Maybe it was because I was induced, or in labor for 26 hours, or that combined with a c-section. But I was not prepared for it, I only had regular pads at home. So after our 5 days in the hospital and an unplanned c-section, we had to stop at the store on the way home to load up on the giant overnight pads. While in tons of pain from the c-section. It suuuuucked. So make sure you have granny panties and giant overnight pads for your post-baby period! 

brynn_mamaof4

Going off of @yellingbanana - I was 20 when I had my first. NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON told me about all the fluids that come out of you after you give birth. I was shocked 😂😂 I suddenly felt this huge gush and was like what was that?! Why did no one tell me all the stuff that comes out of you lol? That birth story was crazy and I didn’t end up getting any meds so maybe some moms just don’t feel it come out but wow I was really taken aback by that haha. 

I would also be prepared beforehand whether you want to look in a mirror or not. They asked me if I wanted to see for motivation and I just yelled out “sure!” And oh my goodness ... I for one, did not like what I saw. Sorry for the TMI but my booty hole was protruding like 3 inches out of my body! I screamed in horror and said PUT IT DOWN! I don’t know if it was because I was stuck pushing so hard with her head there or what but wow. There was no magical beautiful moment that I saw, just the horror of my butt. 

Graphic, but good things to consider 😂😂😂😂

ckmb_1250

😂😂 I loved the mirror! But my hospital had it built into the ceiling and I felt like it kind of directed my attention away from the situation, so I plan to use a handheld mirror this time if I want it.

On that note, this reminds me that I asked my doula to take photos of me holding my daughter for the first time and to be safe she took a video of her birth. I never thought i would want that at all! BUT I will tell you I watched that video every single day for 3 months. There was nothing better to help me mentally process the huge life changing event that had just happened & I cannot imagine not having it!

texas_t

I had Postpartum Anxiety both times around, but the last time was SEVERE.  I knew my baby was safe, there was no mental thing that was making feel any kind of way, I just felt like I wanted to escape my body.  It. was. terrible.  I say this to tell y'all, the second any of y'all start feeling anxious or depressed, call your doctor and do something about it.  There is no shame in getting help.  The doctor put my on a daily med but also gave me a rescue med for when I was feeling extra anxious (I'd wake up from a dead sleep with a panic attack).  I started feeling better once I was able to get more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time.  Your hormones go from the highest they ever are to the lowest they ever are in a matter of days so it's only logical there are reactions to that. Just remember that there is help to deal with it! 

ruby0902

Bahaha @brynn_mamaof4 - your story made me literally lol and now I definitely know I want to avoid the mirror! 😂😂

Also, I'm terrified of sh*tting (pardon my French) on the delivery table!! I know nurses are prepared for that sort of thing and clean up messes quickly but OMG... with my husband there, I feel like that's just something you can't unsee 😱

spartan4life

Also going off @yellingbanana I highly recommend depends underwear for the first week after birth instead of pads. I not only bled but had some bladder control issues so if I waited too long to pee, I would pee when I stood up 🤦🏼‍♀️. 

I also didn't know that I would bleed so much during labor...I expected it after, but not during.

brynn_mamaof4

@ruby0902 lol it still shocks me to remember it 13 years later and I do vividly remember the sight of it.. forever burned into my brain lol! About pooping during delivery, even with my bum hole falling out of my body I didn’t with my first and second. With my third, I actually did as I was lying there waiting to be ready to push! I was so embarrassed. I had to be dosed with the epidural twice because the first time it only worked on one side. After the second, I was SO numb I felt nothing and didn’t realize she was practically coming out of me. I just smelled something and 😳 i guess it happened as she was working her way down. They said it happens ALL the time and they never think anything of it. It’s still something I hope to avoid this time though. 

mkc3888

@yellingbanana for my daughter I went to the hospital with a pack of depends. I never even opened them. My pp bleeding was lighter than my usual period. I just guess they scraped it out in delivery. I don’t know. But I also have no memory after delivery. Between pain meds a phenegrin I only remember leaving the or and hitting the button to play the hospital sound for a baby was born. So I may have bled a lot on the chucks but never known. 

ec1212

I got to finally tell a close friend in person over the weekend, and she is probably the most excited local friend to see me start a family. She has two young sons and was dying for us to finish eating brunch to tell me this: 

"What I wish someone had told me was your first bowel movement after delivery is like giving birth again. It was so scary and I wish someone would have told me how painful it would be!"

So, I'm really psyched about that.

She's also a proponent of placenta capsules, and thinks they may get credit for her not having postpartum depression with her second (she feels like she had undiagnosed with her first). I kind of assumed I would want to do this, but after doing some research, I can't find any clear science that says I'd get any benefits from it. So would love to hear others' experiences either way!

texas_t

I had 2 c-sections, so all the drugs you get can making pooping real hard.

So, my first BM after first was TERRIBLE.  The second, I started taking a stool softener a day or two before and that made all the difference, imo! 

ckmb_1250

@ec1212 I have looked into placenta encapsulation & decided against it. It didn’t really make sense to me that with all the heat and processing that any of the beneficial hormones would survive? I could never find clear answers either. 

I second the stool softener if you’re afraid of the first poop. I took one because I was sooo scared of the first poop based on everyone’s stories, and had no issues at all 👍🏻

spartan4life

@ec1212 I didn't feel like I had a huge problem with the first one or two bowel movements, but I vividly remember one like 2 weeks after and it was terrible! After that I used the Smooth Move  tea and I will have a huge stock of that before this baby arrives. It was like a miracle worker!!

ec1212

Real talk: for those who had vaginal deliveries, how long was it before you were pain-free down there and not afraid to go to the bathroom or have sex?

mrosek91

@ec1212 I will say that's gotten better with each pregnancy. But with my first... going to the bathroom wasn't that bad after the first few days. Ice packs, witch-hazel spray, and regular doses of Motrin definitely helped. Sex was a different story. I honestly can't remember how long it was, months... and the first time we tried I made him stop.

ckmb_1250

@ec1212 I would say maybe 4 weeks I was ready to go but I didn’t share that info with my husband and waited the full 6 😂 I’m sure there are a lot of different experiences but I bled about 2 weeks and had one stitch in the labia area, so didn’t have perineal stitches to deal with which I’m sure makes a big difference. That one damn stitch took the entire 6 weeks to dissolve though 👎🏻

gusgus14

@ec1212 the pain in the bathroom wasn’t too bad but I didn’t stop bleeding for 10 weeks (the last few weeks were light but still had to wear pads). I honestly can’t even remember how long we waited to have sex but it was at least several months. Not because of pain though, I just didn’t want to 🤷‍♀️ I was over being touched 😂😂

littlelibelula

I wish I had done my homework on ergonomic carriers and had a newborn one before I gave birth. My sister said wait because every mom and baby is different, they're not a one size fits all. However, it doesn't hurt to find a carrier support group and at least one carrier that you've practiced with before birth. Obviously for Moms who want to go that route. 

Pumps and bottles. 
Did you know exclusively breast-feeding SAHMs still can make use of a breast pump. I didn't think so and in hindsight I would buy a simple manual one, a hakka or learn hand pumping (doesn't always work right away, pumping takes a while to get going well, I also didn't realize that). Or a combination of the three. 
Also, on the topic of nipple confusion, you don't really have to ever use a bottle. For a newborn you can use syringes, special products (nifty feeder), shot glasses open cups, etc. And once they're 6 months and start solids you can skip the bottle or sippy cup and go straight to an open cup. However that's a parental preference. For peace of mind a closed cup is a wonderful thing. 

brynn_mamaof4

Pain going to the bathroom was never too bad for me, but I’ve never had to get stitches. I imagine that would make me a lot more apprehensive and burn a bit? Big fan of the numbing spray they will give you at the hospital - ask the nurse for an extra one before you go home!! Sex wise I was usually good to go around 4-5 weeks and don’t remember being uncomfortable, but I’m sure we took it easy the first couple times 

brynn_mamaof4

For moms who plan to exclusively breastfeed but maybe the dad wants to give an occasional bottle - highly recommend the comotomo bottles! They are silicone so soft like a boob. The base top is also super wide. I think it’s the best and most “breast like”.