DD was up at like 4am and the ding-dong dog was right behind her. Not to mention DD had a MASSIVE meltdown last night and was in bed before 7... good lord.
DS2 skipped both naps, and had an epic meltdown around 530. Then, he got a second wind and I couldn't get him to sleep at 830! I was the one up at 4, tho. Ugh
@riff323 it’s the worst! Everyone is still all hyped up from Halloween and then they get up at the crack of dawn. Literally, DD told me how much she enjoyed watching the sunrise this morning.
Last night’s weird dream had several chapters to it, including family and amusement parks and taking a shower at my elementary school friend’s house. 🤷🏻♀️ But while I was showering there, I looked at my bump and it was uneven, like your belly gets when you’re further along and the baby is pushing on one side. In my dream I was so excited to be feeling the baby move, and then it started poking its arms and legs out of my stomach. Like they were sticking through to the outside. I wasn’t weirded out at all and just pushed it back in and laughed like it was normal. And then it started to poke its face out and it was this huge mouth with lots of teeth and I just laughed again.
@bblair24 hahaha that is a wild, and kind of creepy one!
I had a multi-chapter dream last night too. It started out when I went to pack my lunch and MH at all the cut veggies I got for my snacks (which he would never do), then he didn't find me attractive and introduced me to my "sister wives" and then one of them accidentally killed someone but was getting off because the other "sister wife" was "getting the votes from the board". I don't even know how my brain came up with this one. Maybe it's because we have been going back and forth between serial killer dramas and The West Wing.
I have a random question for you guys! What are you doing for skincare these days?
When I’m not pregnant, I usually have some breakouts around my period. My skin is combination, leaning more on the oily side of things. I tried a few different things that made my skin break out more - one was a Biore charcoal cleanser, and then just a Walgreens brand cleanser that I thought would be gentle but apparently wasn’t. 😂 I’ve had a couple pimples this pregnancy, but nothing crazy.
I’m open to recommendations, preferably for brands that wouldn’t require me to take out a loan to afford them. Sometimes I’m blown away at how expensive this stuff is!
@bblair24 I usually have combination skin too, but pregnancy has brought out the dry side of things for me. When I was oilier I used First Aid Beauty; they have a regular cleanser and a red clay if you're oilier. I really liked those, but they're a little too aggressive for my dry skin right now. I'm currently using Cetaphil gentle daily scrub. I like it, and I added the belif aqua bomb to help with the dryness.
@bblair24 Ohh, good question! I’m curious what others do too. Sounds like we have a similar skin type, I’m combo too.
I use a 10% benzoyl peroxide bar (ob approved) that helps skin your skin to shed naturally. Mine likes to build up. I find it at Walgreens for like $5. It’s the only place I can find it too but highly recommended by my dermatologist. Then I use Neutrogena Grapefruit scrub, usually in the evening after I take my makeup off. I find it at Walmart for I think under $10. It’s got little scrubby beads that help after using the bar in the morning to get that loosened skin off. It can leave you feeling a little dry, so I also use a gentle moisturizer.
I still have a bit of stubbornness around when my period would normally be, but not nearly as bad as it was. I felt like a pubescent teenager before
@bblair24 I use Cetaphil in the shower; on mornings I don't shower, I use a benzoyl peroxide cleanser (Neutrogena Clear Pore) followed by Garnier Pinea-C (brightening serum cream with sunscreen). At night I use a generic version of Aveeno Skin Brightening Daily Scrub followed by a hyaluronic acid mask. I'm 35, and I find the hyaluronic acid really plumps up my skin! I also tend to have combination skin, which really dries out in the winter.
Ok guys, kind of some random questions. We are already thinking about a second child (I'm 35 and MH is 40), and I had to use Clomid for this pregnancy. How long after delivery did you guys wait to start trying for your second, particularly mammas in their 30s. Also, are baby/child well visits typically completely covered by insurance? We are debating opening an FSA just to have some money put away for baby medical expenses if things are going to get pricey.
@bbrahmbhatt I had my first at 31. We started trying for #2 when she was about about 8 months. I don't know what your contraception plans are for after this baby is born, but if you are already thinking about #2, I wouldn't bother with anything at all.
As for insurance, I think it probably depends on what you have. Our well visits are completely covered with no copay, but we still opened an FSA to deal with whatever expenses come up. That's been helpful because both my kiddos have had to have tubes for chronic ear infections, so we were able to use the FSA to cover all those sick visit copays and the deductibles we had to meet. Also, both my kids were on meds for acid reflux, so that was another expense that added up and we were able to pay with FSA. It's definitely a good idea. Even with the healthiest baby on the planet, there will be random stuff that comes up for sure.
@bbrahmbhatt I had my first at 31 (almost 32) and we wanted to start trying after her first birthday. Of course then it was in the height of coronavirus so we pushed it off a month or two, but about a year was our plan. Though I would say I felt 'ready' to try again when she was 10 months old. I'm a planner too and think it's great to plan for the future, but would say don't put yourself on a timetable; do what you feel comfortable with mentally, emotionally and physically and you'll know when you're ready. I do recall my OB telling me at my post-delivery appointment to wait a full year after delivery before getting pregnant again...something about newer data showing that the female body needs 12 months to fully heal and shorter time between deliveries can result in lower birthweight for subsequent deliveries* *my DD was also born IUGR (very small at full term for unknown reasons, so maybe that's why my OB told me that, specifically?) **I will also caveat that I didn't have any intervention/fertility planning with either pregnancy, so I'm not sure if your OB would have different guidance for you. You don't have to wait for delivery, you can ask your OB at your next appointment and she will have the best medical advice for your individual situation!
I also agree with @juliebird6 and would say skip the contraception if you know you want to get pregnant again so soon. Your OB will broach your options with you at your post delivery appointment (I think it was either 6 or 12 weeks after birth?) but I opted for nothing considering I had been off it for so long, had ben tracking my cycle for awhile, and knew we wanted another soon. And if you have an accident, you know you wanted another soon anyway. That was my personal opinion, but most all of my friends went back on contraception and they seemed to have no trouble getting pregnant with #2 as soon as they went off it. Again, everyone is different!
@bbrahmbhatt that is a hard question, and I think the answers might vary based on if you will need a c-section or not with this one, and then how you feel once the baby is here.
I was 29 (barely, I turned 30 1.5 months later) with my first, and we waited until they were in 1st grade to try again and had our third (but second successful pregnancy) when I was 36. I was in a unique situation with twins, though, and they were a lot to deal with, physically and financially. But, I definitely wanted another when they were around 9/10 months old (they’re just so cute then!).
I would absolutely use flex spending. We Max ours out every year between me and the kids. With our insurance, well-visits are 100% covered.
Edited to add that I’ve only had c-sections, and was fortunate to not require fertility drugs.
@bbrahmbhatt I was 31 when I delivered DD. We started trying again when she was around 2 and were unsuccessful; I also began to realize I didn't really want another kid at that point! We didn't start trying again until we moved back home this year and decided to give it a go because now we are in a proper house and not a glorified apartment and we have family nearby. I'm 35 now. I'm actually really glad we waited. Age 2-4 was rough on me and I'm glad to have the kids farther apart in age. DD will be going to kindergarten in the fall and that will give me some one-on-one time with the new babe. That being said, you do what works best for you and your family! A few years ago, I was panicked about the prospect of having a "geriatric pregnancy" but now that I'm here, I don't give a honk. I'm in good health and so is DH.
@BuckeyeNut05 good point about CS. That will very likely impact when you feel ready. My first was born vaginally and I didn’t really have any complications with recovery. My son was born ~18 months later and I ended up with a CS with complications. I didn’t feel ready at all to even consider another baby until he was nearly 2, even though I knew it was going to mess up my “timing” because it would make me AMA.
@bblair24 I use cetaphil cleanser and witch hazel as a toner on a cotton pad. I am fine with a charcoal based scrub but basically anything else my OB says is off-limits (anything with salicylic acid unfortunately, which is what I usually use).
@bbrahmbhatt agree that this is a personal and unique question. I was 28 with my first and 30 with my second and had normal vaginal deliveries. My OB insisted I wait a full year due to the research mentioned above. I looked into it a ton afterwards and essentially it's super important to wait 9 months but there's still a big difference between 9 and 12 months and much less of a difference between 12 and 18 months. By 18 months, outcomes essentially go almost back to as if it were your first (adjusted for age, of course) BUT with hormones, etc. it is apparently much easier to get pregnant within 18 months postpartum so my OB said 12-18 months postpartum was kind of the sweet spot if you want the kids close together. I know ppl w/ C-sections who were told to wait 18 months and ppl who were even younger than me who were only told they needed to wait 9 months after their CS. Risks of closer spacing are not building up enough nutrients and preterm labor. The nutrient deficiency seems to lead to a higher likelihood of things like autism spectrum disorder and other neurological conditions. One thing that made me feel better about the 12 months between my first two pregnancies and 14 months between these was really focusing on my PNVs and including additional choline which is not in very many. I also got my CBC done to check iron levels b/c that's important, too. Your OB might have different advice based on your age and history. The studies say to wait 18 months which I did NOT do so please don't take the below as judgy or anything. I just found these helpful to look at but was also okay with waiting the 12 months between but didn't want to wait 18 months, so I kind of took the data how I wanted to feel better about my risk vs wanting my kids close together.
I basically followed my OB's advice and got pregnant right away trying after our first so they are 21 months apart. I got my MMR booster at 12 months postpartum (b/c my second got hers at her 1 year visit) and waited the required month to TTC and conceived on the second cycle so 14 months postpartum and they will be 23 months apart. I will say I was going baby crazy after my first and was in slightly less of a rush after my second (and didn't get my period back until 12 months pp with her which was a bit later than my first b/c DD2 was BFing more than DD1 at that point). I have friends with kids the same age as our 3yo who couldn't imagine a second yet even though they are 36/37 and lots of other friends who were ready sooner. It's so unique and you won't necessarily know what you're ready for until afterwards but it's great to have the conversation with your OB (I didn't until my 6 week postpartum appt) before you want to start trying. Sorry that got so long!!
@bbrahmbhatt I had my first when I was 32 and DH was 41. We started trying for another when she was 9 months old and got pregnant that first month. I would have preferred a little more space between kids (2 under 2 was crazy). But here I am pregnant at 38 and feel like it was easier when I was 32 and 33/34.
@bbrahmbhatt I'm a FTM so can't share anything based on my OWN experience, but I'm 31 and I have three close friends who are also 31 and gave birth earlier this year. One had difficulty conceiving and the other 2 did not. All 3 of them want a second baby and they shared with me that what their OBs suggested. Two of them had vaginal births and their OBs told them to wait at least 9 months but preferably a year. The one who had a c section was told that she should not try for AT LEAST 1 year.
My mom called this afternoon. She had gone down in their basement to see if we had left any baby stuff there. We stored some boxes in their basement during our move here so that we could have fewer things on the truck and so we could settle in without the excess stuff. Anyways, she didn’t find baby stuff but she DID find some of my maternity clothes! Just a small box of them. I’m so excited though because I was certain I gave everything away. I hope there are some pants in it! I happened to come across two spring/summer dresses last weekend in a box here. She mentioned a really fuzzy sweatshirt on top, which was one of my favorite things to wear when I was pregnant with DD2.
@bbrahmbhatt our two will be around 2.5 months apart-- I feel like every way has pros and cons and chapters where you will be like THIS IS SO "TOUGH" and also "I'm so glad we did it this way". What surprised me the most was that I had NO desire to try again when my son was born. I assumed around a year I would be ready, but I wasn't ready until the second we started to try again (did IVF). No matter what you do, it will be the right decision for you- which sounds so cliche but is so true!
DD1 asks almost daily how big my belly/the baby is now, so I’ll tell her whatever fruit/veggie is on this app, and then I pull my t-shirt tighter so she can see what’s going on. Tonight she said “wow, it’s bigger than I thought it would be!” Oh honey. You have no idea. 😂 I’m only 16 weeks, she’ll be shocked in a month or two! She was only 2.5 when DD2 was born. She’s 6 now and it’s fun answering her questions and seeing her excitement!
@bbrahmbhatt that will totally vary from person to person, but I had a really hard pregnancy and newborn-10 months with my son and that’s why he’ll be 4 this month and I’m finally having my second. I really wanted kids close together, and almost bought a double stroller the first time around just planning on my second already. I’ll admit it put me in a really sad place when my son was born and I just knew I was done having kids. I later realized I had undiagnosed PPD, but at the time that timeline I had put on myself was really hard to let go of.
And as others have said, put the money in FSA. I feel like babies always get sick at night when it’s an ER visit instead of just a regular appointment.
@bbrahmbhatt, I'm 43, 44 at delivery. SO just turned 43 last month. My youngest, DS2, is almost 10 months. SO wanted to TRY for one more, and we knew if we were going to, we couldn't wait between pregnancies.I gave him until the end of 2020 to slip one past the goalie.
We talked to my OB while still in the hospital, and got the OK from her, once I healed up. I honestly thought with my age and breastfeeding, I wouldn't get pregnant again. I was pregnant 6 months later.
This pregnancy is not hard, but being a mom to an infant, an 8yo, AND pregnant leaves me Exhausted. And the hormones leave me short of patience. I don't have the energy to do much of anything, and don't have the patience to deal with my 8yo whining because I made him load the dishwasher or clean his room or even listen to endless video game prattle.
Also, our journey is not without heartbreak or risk. Our first pregnancy together ended in loss, and the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is a lot higher. But, SO and I were both taking Coq10 for this pregnancy and my last, which is believed to improve sperm and egg quality in adults over 40. (Can't harm/might help)
I had by far my weirdest pregnancy dream last night. I was pregnant in my dream and rushing around to get ready for an OB appointment. I tugged on my ear to put in earrings and a tiny bubble containing a baby came out of my earring hole. I didn’t know what to do so I gave the bubble to Jared and said “here, do something with this!” 😂 As he held it it started growing and by the time I was ready to leave for the doctor the baby was about the size of a 3 month old, just laying on the bed watching me. WHAT in the world. 😳 The baby was adorable though!
Well I got called out by my mom and flat out asked if I was pregnant yesterday (apparently I look way fatter than I thought I did), so now I have to tell the rest of my family because she’s not great at keeping secrets. 😩 Ugh, I’m not ready.
@bbrahmbhatt Our first 2 are 18 mo apart & 2/3 are 2.5 years apart. I saw a huge difference between getting pregnant again before a year vs after a year. Personally I felt like it was harder on my body when they were closer (I noticed feeling more back to myself when more time passed between the second two). That said, the first two are now so close and we love the spacing! With the first two it felt like we never really left the baby stage so on one hand it made things easier, but then it was also really nice having a slighter older “baby” when #3 came along. We knew we wanted #2 as soon as possible (esp after it taking a while to get pregnant with #1), so we took the approach that a few reco’d: just didn’t use any contraception & waited to see what would happen. Basically, pros and cons for all the options!!
@bbrahmbhatt I believe the recommendation from most OBs will be a year at minimum as others have mentioned. You may also not feel ready immediately. I was not ready to start trying at a year. We started to try eight months later, when my son was 20 months old and were lucky to get pregnant right away. The age gap will be just under 2.5 years. I think that'll be perfect for us given our circumstances, but I definitely could have waited longer too if things were different. I'm 33 so there is some time pressure, but not as much as if I was in my late 30s.
I have my 10mo in his crib. It's my last night to have this giant bed all to myself, because SO comes off nights starting tomorrow. And I have preggo insomnia.
The solution...
I might get through 3 or 4 pages. I love the story, but man is it a hard read!
Is anyone planning anything for a babymoon? MH and I talked about doing a trip pre-Covid, but obviously not now. I have been looking for ways to do one without travel, but I haven't found anything inspiring yet.
@bbrahmbhatt we might just have my in-laws watch our 3 year old overnight and go to a drive-in movie or rent an Airbnb someplace local to mix it up a bit.
Has anyone had carrier screening tests? My MFM is kinda pushing that we should have it done but it seems a little unnecessary. Neither of us has a family history of any genetic conditions and we already have a healthy child together. Plus we already are 17 weeks along and the baby genetic tests came back fine. He said it was “standard” but we didn’t have the testing done with baby #1 as far as I know. Maybe it’s a new “standard.” I’m going to ask my OB about it but curious how many other people have already or are getting it down?
@jenn622-2 I've never had any of the testing done with any of my pregnancies. Genetic or carrier or anything. I'm not sure why it would be considered standard! I'd definitely check with your OB.
@juliebird6, yes, I am AMA and was with my first child as well. I know the genetic test for baby is standard for AMA but have never heard that about the carrier test. We did genetic test for baby with my first child 3 years ago but not carrier testing.
Re: Random Thread
DD was up at like 4am and the ding-dong dog was right behind her. Not to mention DD had a MASSIVE meltdown last night and was in bed before 7... good lord.
I had a multi-chapter dream last night too. It started out when I went to pack my lunch and MH at all the cut veggies I got for my snacks (which he would never do), then he didn't find me attractive and introduced me to my "sister wives" and then one of them accidentally killed someone but was getting off because the other "sister wife" was "getting the votes from the board". I don't even know how my brain came up with this one. Maybe it's because we have been going back and forth between serial killer dramas and The West Wing.
When I’m not pregnant, I usually have some breakouts around my period. My skin is combination, leaning more on the oily side of things. I tried a few different things that made my skin break out more - one was a Biore charcoal cleanser, and then just a Walgreens brand cleanser that I thought would be gentle but apparently wasn’t. 😂 I’ve had a couple pimples this pregnancy, but nothing crazy.
I’m open to recommendations, preferably for brands that wouldn’t require me to take out a loan to afford them. Sometimes I’m blown away at how expensive this stuff is!
I use a 10% benzoyl peroxide bar (ob approved) that helps skin your skin to shed naturally. Mine likes to build up. I find it at Walgreens for like $5. It’s the only place I can find it too but highly recommended by my dermatologist. Then I use Neutrogena Grapefruit scrub, usually in the evening after I take my makeup off. I find it at Walmart for I think under $10. It’s got little scrubby beads that help after using the bar in the morning to get that loosened skin off. It can leave you feeling a little dry, so I also use a gentle moisturizer.
As for insurance, I think it probably depends on what you have. Our well visits are completely covered with no copay, but we still opened an FSA to deal with whatever expenses come up. That's been helpful because both my kiddos have had to have tubes for chronic ear infections, so we were able to use the FSA to cover all those sick visit copays and the deductibles we had to meet. Also, both my kids were on meds for acid reflux, so that was another expense that added up and we were able to pay with FSA. It's definitely a good idea. Even with the healthiest baby on the planet, there will be random stuff that comes up for sure.
*my DD was also born IUGR (very small at full term for unknown reasons, so maybe that's why my OB told me that, specifically?)
**I will also caveat that I didn't have any intervention/fertility planning with either pregnancy, so I'm not sure if your OB would have different guidance for you. You don't have to wait for delivery, you can ask your OB at your next appointment and she will have the best medical advice for your individual situation!
I also agree with @juliebird6 and would say skip the contraception if you know you want to get pregnant again so soon. Your OB will broach your options with you at your post delivery appointment (I think it was either 6 or 12 weeks after birth?) but I opted for nothing considering I had been off it for so long, had ben tracking my cycle for awhile, and knew we wanted another soon. And if you have an accident, you know you wanted another soon anyway. That was my personal opinion, but most all of my friends went back on contraception and they seemed to have no trouble getting pregnant with #2 as soon as they went off it. Again, everyone is different!
@bbrahmbhatt agree that this is a personal and unique question. I was 28 with my first and 30 with my second and had normal vaginal deliveries. My OB insisted I wait a full year due to the research mentioned above. I looked into it a ton afterwards and essentially it's super important to wait 9 months but there's still a big difference between 9 and 12 months and much less of a difference between 12 and 18 months. By 18 months, outcomes essentially go almost back to as if it were your first (adjusted for age, of course) BUT with hormones, etc. it is apparently much easier to get pregnant within 18 months postpartum so my OB said 12-18 months postpartum was kind of the sweet spot if you want the kids close together. I know ppl w/ C-sections who were told to wait 18 months and ppl who were even younger than me who were only told they needed to wait 9 months after their CS. Risks of closer spacing are not building up enough nutrients and preterm labor. The nutrient deficiency seems to lead to a higher likelihood of things like autism spectrum disorder and other neurological conditions. One thing that made me feel better about the 12 months between my first two pregnancies and 14 months between these was really focusing on my PNVs and including additional choline which is not in very many. I also got my CBC done to check iron levels b/c that's important, too. Your OB might have different advice based on your age and history. The studies say to wait 18 months which I did NOT do so please don't take the below as judgy or anything. I just found these helpful to look at but was also okay with waiting the 12 months between but didn't want to wait 18 months, so I kind of took the data how I wanted to feel better about my risk vs wanting my kids close together.
Short interpregnancy intervals are associated with a number of adverse outcomes for both mother and child, including increased risk of preterm birth, low birth weight, and preeclampsia (1–5)(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3749871/#:~:text=Short interpregnancy intervals are associated,priority in the United States.)
You're twice as likely to have a baby with autism spectrum disorder with spacing less than 12 months vs more than 36 months (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4474747/)
I basically followed my OB's advice and got pregnant right away trying after our first so they are 21 months apart. I got my MMR booster at 12 months postpartum (b/c my second got hers at her 1 year visit) and waited the required month to TTC and conceived on the second cycle so 14 months postpartum and they will be 23 months apart. I will say I was going baby crazy after my first and was in slightly less of a rush after my second (and didn't get my period back until 12 months pp with her which was a bit later than my first b/c DD2 was BFing more than DD1 at that point). I have friends with kids the same age as our 3yo who couldn't imagine a second yet even though they are 36/37 and lots of other friends who were ready sooner. It's so unique and you won't necessarily know what you're ready for until afterwards but it's great to have the conversation with your OB (I didn't until my 6 week postpartum appt) before you want to start trying. Sorry that got so long!!
Thanks for the skincare suggestions everyone! ❤️
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/a-pea-in-the-pod-i-like-to-think-wine-misses-me-too-maternity-graphic-tee?ID=9957636&CategoryID=66718
We talked to my OB while still in the hospital, and got the OK from her, once I healed up. I honestly thought with my age and breastfeeding, I wouldn't get pregnant again. I was pregnant 6 months later.
This pregnancy is not hard, but being a mom to an infant, an 8yo, AND pregnant leaves me Exhausted. And the hormones leave me short of patience. I don't have the energy to do much of anything, and don't have the patience to deal with my 8yo whining because I made him load the dishwasher or clean his room or even listen to endless video game prattle.
Also, our journey is not without heartbreak or risk. Our first pregnancy together ended in loss, and the risk of chromosomal abnormalities is a lot higher. But, SO and I were both taking Coq10 for this pregnancy and my last, which is believed to improve sperm and egg quality in adults over 40. (Can't harm/might help)
@eahayes agree with you 100%!
@bbrahmbhatt Our first 2 are 18 mo apart & 2/3 are 2.5 years apart. I saw a huge difference between getting pregnant again before a year vs after a year. Personally I felt like it was harder on my body when they were closer (I noticed feeling more back to myself when more time passed between the second two). That said, the first two are now so close and we love the spacing! With the first two it felt like we never really left the baby stage so on one hand it made things easier, but then it was also really nice having a slighter older “baby” when #3 came along. We knew we wanted #2 as soon as possible (esp after it taking a while to get pregnant with #1), so we took the approach that a few reco’d: just didn’t use any contraception & waited to see what would happen. Basically, pros and cons for all the options!!
The solution...
I might get through 3 or 4 pages. I love the story, but man is it a hard read!
Has anyone had carrier screening tests? My MFM is kinda pushing that we should have it done but it seems a little unnecessary. Neither of us has a family history of any genetic conditions and we already have a healthy child together. Plus we already are 17 weeks along and the baby genetic tests came back fine. He said it was “standard” but we didn’t have the testing done with baby #1 as far as I know. Maybe it’s a new “standard.” I’m going to ask my OB about it but curious how many other people have already or are getting it down?