Weekly Randoms 10/18

_orchid_

@mindyb2019 I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend

wanderlustsoul

@mindyb2019, I’m so sorry about your friend!

wanderlustsoul

In my last BMB, we did a weekly spotlight on things (I.e maternity clothes, car seats, etc.)for STMs to share their advice and FTMs to ask question - should we do it here?

inthewoods23

@AKuzReve from my lurking of other BMBs, I think those are usually done as their own posts on a weekly(?) basis. I was thinking the other day about when the BMBs typically start talking about that stuff since I'm already trying to get my registry together so it can be used for Christmas gift ideas. I had figured we probably didn't start that right away since some people are just now finding out they're PG and due in June.

mc0303

@AKuzReve yesss! I loved spotlights in my last BMB too

wanderlustsoul

@inthewoods23, we can start it soon and then the excel sheet will link back to prior ones. But yes it is it’s own individual post. I’ll create a spreadsheet tomorrow and then we can discuss more!

pickle-chips

@AKuzReve because I’m Lurky McLurkface I know that May 2021 have a pretty sweet product spotlight schedule and they link to their spreadsheet. Just in case you didn’t want to reinvent the wheel.

inthewoods23

@AKuzReve @pickle-chips also, what the heck is the spreadsheet thing? I've never understood it, but I haven't looked into it in any of the BMBs.

pickle-chips

@inthewoods23 do you mean the product spotlight spreadsheet? Or the spreadsheet of everyone’s deets (username, age, due date, team green/pink/blue, etc)? If it’s the latter, I sort of get why it can be useful, but also don’t get it. It can be a super handy reference to quickly look at instead of wading through the intros, but it seems like a PIA to update and also there’s something unnerving about having age, location, number of kids, etc served up on a platter.

mc0303

@pickle-chips I just lurked May as well and that's a sweet product spotlight spreadsheet!! We did a google sheet for our deets in my last BMB and it was really easy to each input what we felt comfortable with sharing. Some folks didn't know how to use google sheets so that...is what it is

pickle-chips

@mc0303 same about the google spreadsheet. Hahaha ...it is what it is. I noticed that it was usually the randoms that couldn’t figure out how to update the spreadsheet, but wanted their details added only to never, ever post again.

nlc_atx

@mindyb2019 I'm so sorry, hope you're holding up as best you can be. 

inthewoods23

@pickle-chips I didn't know there were 2 different spreadsheets lol. I definitely would love a product spotlight spreadsheet. Not a fan of a spreadsheet filled with everyone's info.

klj0228

@mindyb2019 I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a close friend is really hard. So many internet stranger hugs to you!! 

wanderlustsoul

@pickle-chips, that spreadsheet is from my BMB haha! The owner is in my August 19 BMB! Grabbed it from her. 

wanderlustsoul

Link to the spreadsheet. I think it covers everything! I can post it every Monday.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/189zum-jZZMhlVb2Ss8cK0rOql5UNEgiOcvoY9B6Xb68/edit?usp=sharing

nlc_atx

@AKuzReve this is fantastic!

_orchid_

@AKuzReve that spreadsheet is great!!

DoubleUp8

@MelissaMay82 Go pats!

@mindyb2019 I got my flu shot at my appointment on Monday. I work at the University and they are requiring all staff to get it unless they have medical or religious exemptions. Glad your betas are looking so good! I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

@hillbillywife glad they were able to get the IUD out. I had a friend who had one in for her pregnancy, and it added a lot of extra precautions and stress to the whole pregnancy. 

@emwj10187 my NP told me at my appointment on Monday that sushi was fine as long as it wasn't raw. I don't eat sushi any more (let's just say I had a bad experience), but it was nice to know if I ever get the craving for it. 

@ashleyjillian15 Glad you got to see baby and they were doing well!

**TW Loss mentioned**
I am still pretty tight with about 30 women from my N14 BMB. We moved to a Facebook group after the babies were born. I won't go into the drama but there was a huge FB group and then a small one of the regulars. I was going to announce my pregnancy at the end of September, but one of the women posted she had planned to announce her 3rd pregnancy but found out at her 12 week that she lost the baby. I obviously did not share my news and decided to wait until after my appointment this week. Now another of the women on the group said she planned to announce around Halloween, but found out last week she had lost the baby. Obviously, I am going to delay my announcement, but the small superstitious part of me is scared to even plan to announce. I guess I will wait until after my next appointment to make sure everything is ok. I am close with these women and feel badly not telling them, but I also don't want to put salt in the wound for my two friends who suffered losses.

_orchid_

@DoubleUp8 I think it's very considerate of you to think of your friends. 

**TW loss mentioned**

Speaking from my personal experience, idk if you should hold off though. Are these friends you'd want support from if you had a mc? I've always tried to tell my support people when I find out im KU so they get a chance to celebrate with me before I MC- it really stinks to tell someone after the fact. Also, even after mcs I was always really happy to hear about friend's pregnancies bc it made me feel happy and hopeful. I've had a few friends hold off on telling me, which makes me feel appreciative that they're considerate but also kind of upset, because I know they would've told me earlier if I didn't mc, so I feel like their early sharing is something else I lose along with my pregnancy, kwim? My mc are part of me and I don't want my friends to walk on eggshells around me- that makes me feel way more sensitive. Maybe you can PM them both a few days before to let them know privately (if you're close enough) and just say it's early days and this is what's going on, wanted to share with everyone but also wanted to give you a heads up so you're not blindsided. 
Obviously just my point of view and do what you think is right!! I know everyone has different reactions. 

artsiefartsie

@DoubleUp8 I agree 100% with everything @_orchid_ said.  I prefer those around me to not walk on eggshells to avoid triggering me. I wouldn't want to miss celebrating with a friend over good news ❤❤

I can see the superstitious side of it though 😆 I'd probably wait a bit as well! ❤

MelissaMay82

@mindyb2019 I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend

mindyb2019

I'm soo excited for work today. It's pyjama day!! Woo hoo. I love jammy day. Ill be warm and cozy all day. Lol it looks like I literally crawled out of bed 😆

jaztastic

@DoubleUp8 very considerate of you. I think sending them a private message first to break the news would be a good idea. That way they arent caught off guard with an announcement to the larger group and will have time to process the news privately so they can then celebrate you publicly. 

On other points...
Flu shots: I know my OB office gives it to anyone who hasnt gotten it yet if you are pregnant. I get one every year so its not a big deal to me. I did not realize there was a special one for prengant women, learned something new today. 

Maternity Clothes: Just wear whatever makes you feel the most comfortable, and that could be regular clothes just sized up a little bit. I spent a lot of money in one of my 1st pregnancies (ended as a loss) with brands like Motherhood Maternity, and found it to be a waste because cheaper brands were just as good. Old Navy/Target are good places to start.

Spreadsheets/Google Docs: For the highlights one, does this mean we wont be discussing these things until those dates? Or is this just a day to rehash or specifically draw attention to said items? Trying to get clarity since this is a newer BMB thing for me. 
Personal information google doc, its useful but perhaps will be more appropriate down the line. Right now we are all still internet strangers, but in 6 or 7 months after daily communication some of us will feel closely bonded enough to share more. 

akoros

@DoubleUp8 That's really considerate of you. Like @_orchid_ recommended, I'd give them a heads up in a private message before you announce so they're not blindsided, but otherwise it's ok to announce once you're comfortable. 

I got my flu shot yesterday. I had planned to make an appointment at CVS for me and my husband, but when I went to get a COVID test they've apparently set up free flu shots right next to the testing site and the National Guardsman manning the exit convinced me to get one. Aside from my husband, both he and the person who gave me the shot were the first people to know that I'm pregnant. I got one last year when I was also super early in a pregnancy (a bit further along than this, I think ~6 weeks?). It's perfectly safe, but they do ask you if you're pregnant beforehand so that they use the right one. 

As for maternity clothes, I'm personally going to hold off until it's necessary (which may be a while with WFH). Beyond my paranoia (due to losses) I don't want to buy a bunch of clothes that I'll only wear once or twice so want to wait until I know exactly what I need. I have some leggings and flowy tops that will stretch, and for other pants I have a belly band/extender which is great for making your normal pants last longer (I got M Like Mama's from Amazon), so I should probably be fine with what I have for a while. 

mrs_massie

really need to vent and I know theres probably a few of you here that can relate to nosey in laws. My mother in law just stopped by to borrow a tool from us. My husband met her outside because the house is a mess because I have not been feeling well and havent kept up with much. She asked where I was and my husband said she's inside she is feeling good...She asks him if there's a chance I'm pregnant....My husband tries to get out of it, but he also can't lie so he says idk I guess there's a chance (i mean I never know how to answer this question when they ask you at the dr.s either because yea, I'm a married women I guess there's always a chance I'm pregnant...)Anyway, she then demands a real answer from him forcing him to tell her I am. I'm so annoyed because we weren't sharing with anyone yet and I think its really rude for people to ask before you tell. What if we had a big announcement planned that she just spoiled, not to mention, we recently had our second loss and didnt want to share too soon..I'm just so urked right now..

Rant over.

mc0303

@mrs_massie ughhhh that is so frustrating!! I feel often that family feels entitled to know everything about your business. I’m sorry she forced it out before you guys were able to say on your own terms ❤️

artsiefartsie

@mrs_massie Ugh! I have no patience for nosy/pushy family members.

"Take the hint and move along, Karen"

I'm sorry she took that from you. ❤

hillbillywife

@mrs_massie I’m sorry! I told my BFF today because I was stressing and needed a real life shoulder today (not that I don’t appreciate y’all but still) and I’m bummed at myself that I told her cuz I wanted to do something cute and now I can’t. Having to tell someone you didn’t want to tell at all (yet) is ultra frustrating.

wendy838

@mrs_massie agh that’s so unfortunate, sorry that happened. This is why you never ask if someone’s pregnant, sheesh. 

That also reminds me that we’re visiting my MIL in a few weeks and I may need to prep DH cause he can’t lie to his mama. 

nlc_atx

@mrs_massie I’m sorry, ugh that’s annoying!  It’s not quite as bad but I’ve had friends asking me already... one just texted me out of the blue to ask. 

I’m often sad that we don’t live near either of our families, especially with Covid, but one upside is no random visits.

MelissaMay82

@mrs_massie ugh that’s annoying. 

mrs_massie

Thanks everyone! I think what makes it worse is that it was now 2 days ago and she still hasn't called or texted me to say congratulations...

klj0228

We made a trip to my parents house in the mountains this weekend since they are back home. It needed to be mowed which we take care of for them. There is no ac in the house so when we were here this summer it was miserable hot all the time. This time it is so nice and I slept fairly well last night. This is the house they just bought to be closer to us so none of us have stayed here in all the seasons yet and don’t know what to expect. 

_orchid_

@mrs_massie that would definitely make me more upset!! So rude, and she knows you know that she knows!! 

@klj0228 yay for a good night's sleep!! How close is the mountain house? That's nice that you can kinda get away without going far!

MelissaMay82

I’m 24 hrs in of 48 hrs solo parenting. It was raining and cold yesterday so we were stuck inside all day and today everything is still wet and gross. Sunday morning can hurry up! 😆

marebear15

@MelissaMay82 - I'm solo parenting this weekend too. Started out with four hours of sleep last night, so it's going well 🥴

tilournextadventure

@MelissaMay82 and @marebear15 I have been single parenting since Tuesday. It's been a rough week as this nausea is kicking me. I single parented most of last week too. I'm done. Can't wait for DH to come in the door and I'm walking right out. I need five minutes of peace to myself. 

klj0228

@_orchid_ it’s only an hour and a half from our house. Close enough to do just one night and that the toddler can stay awake for the whole drive. I’ll be really excited when my parents move here full time, but also a little sad that we won’t have the house to ourselves as a family getaway on weekends. 

mc0303

Y’all, I just made the best smelling faux “potpourri”. I sliced a lemon and an apple and put them in a small pot of water with cinnamon sticks, cloves, and a dash of vanilla. My house smells insanely delicioussss and cozy and fall-like. Makes me want to stay super cuddled on my sofa watching Halloween movies all day 🎃 10/10 would recommend