How/when are you planning to announce?

bbrahmbhatt

Hi everyone! I've been seeing some things floating around about when people are telling friends and family on a few threads, so I thought it might be fun to start a thread where we can all discuss in one place!

thedomesticgeek

I think I'm going to tell friends and family after my 8 week ultrasound 9/9. I'll probably do a cute Facebook announcement shortly after when we move. We're homeschoolers and we're moving to a 100 year old school house that was remodeled into a home so I'm thinking something along the lines of "We're adding a new student April 2021" I bought one of those cute letterboards from Amazon for like $16. 

If you guys have more creative wording, let me know, ha! 

Oh and everyone knows DH had a vasectomy after our losses, and only 3 people know he had it reversed. So this is going to be a major surprise. Everyone thinks the craziest things we did during covid were buying chickens and moving 3 hours North to the middle of nowhere. Nope, we very much woke up at 2 AM to drive to the next state to have a secret vasectomy reversal and now we're pregnant, surprise! I think some close family members are going to be incredibly upset that we live so far away now. 

TW

I did miscarry at 12 weeks last time (baby measured 8 weeks), but we didn't have any ultrasounds until the miscarriage and missed miscarriages seem pretty rare so I'm not too worried about it. 

bblair24

I haven’t really thought about how we’ll announce, but we also plan on waiting until after my 8 week ultrasound, which is 9/14, to tell family. With our first we told them pretty early because we were staying with my family on thanksgiving and I was so nauseous, I figured everyone would worry about me so we just went ahead and told them that day 😂 With our second we also told them early *TW* because it was after a MC and we wanted to be able to have their support in case it happened again. 

I was thinking about this yesterday and had an idea - we just bought bunk beds the other night for the girls. That will come the end of next week. I thought about just being like “we’ll just put the crib in the basement until we need it next April!” and seeing if they catch on. But odds are good they’ll see the beds before we’re ready to announce, so I don’t know. 

In terms of an FB announcement, we’ll probably incorporate the girls and maybe some “big sister” shirts! 

bbrahmbhatt

I've told a few friends who know about our prior loss and our IF struggle, just to have some support. I think we are planning to tell our families after the first trimester. Part of me wants to tell them a bit sooner, just in case. I'm out of the first trimester October 20, so maybe we will wait until Thanksgiving, which would be closer to 20 weeks. We have a pretty small immediate family; both MH and my fathers have passed, so it's just our moms and we each have a brother. MH's brother is married with a daughter, so its really only 5 people in our immediate circle. I've thought of cute ways to tell them all, so we'll have to see when that happens! I think we will send out Christmas cards as our announcement to the masses. 

mamabee1113

We’ve already told our parents because DH couldn’t wait to tell people once I told him, but I want to wait until the first ultrasound at least. My BIL figured it out, so he and SIL know now. And I’ve told my best friend because we talk about everything (potential TW) and she’s having a tough time TTC her first.

We will mostly likely tell the rest of family after my first US on 9/16 but we won’t publicly announce (like FB or around work, etc) until well into 2nd tri unless I can’t hide the bump. We didn’t announce until 16wks with DS, so I’m fine waiting. 

MandersX

I've told the mom group from DS and my 3 best friends. We will wait till after the end of the first trimester to tell our parents as I am higher risk for some issues. Will probably wait until the end of the year to make a Facebook announcement because work is going through major layoffs and I don't want any added target on my back. 

kelseyyh

I feel like I just blabbed on about this in another thread - oops!! But here’s more details lol. 

So - we told my sister, since I need someone to watch my son 2x a week while I get blood work. (TW - being done as a precaution by doctor, had a missed miscarriage in Feb). For that reveal, while DS & my niece played, I held my nephew and gave him a bag of poppyseeds that he shook around lol. I told my sister and her hubby by saying we had a special announcement about something the size of a poppyseed. 

My ultrasound is 9/14, so I’ve considering telling both sets of parents then. It happens to be the week I was due with my loss though, so I don’t know what emotions I’ll have...

I think Canadian Thanksgiving (I’m in Ontario, Canada) will be our official big announcement time. I’ll be around 13 weeks, and it seems like the perfect time. I am looking at cute decorated pumpkins on etsy that say oh baby aha. I thought DS could carry one in to our family dinners (or outside houses for those we have to distance from - rules are pretty tight covid-wise here...). 

I love the idea of dressing as Anakin Skywalker & Padme Amidala (pregnant) for Halloween lol. We have been working our way through all the Star Wars movies throughout the past few months 😂. That’s probably a reveal too ambitious for our lazy butts - though a cute online reveal. 

We were team green last time, and this time we are finding out the gender. Hubby loved the idea of saying “We’re having a baby & it’s a ____”, but I have no idea how I’d hide it that long. I didn’t show till 19 weeks last time... but I’m a lot fluffier now, and I’ve heard people show faster when it’s no their first time. Or maybe the fluff will mask?? 

mamabee1113

@MandersX it hurts my heart to read that your pregnancy, something that is very exciting, could put a target on your back for layoffs. 

juliebird6

We are renting a vacation house with my brother and SIL this weekend so we are going to have to tell them. They’ll totally know immediately the very first time I decline a drink. Will probably hold off on telling anyone other than my immediate family (parents, 3 brothers+significant others) until end of first tri. We are doing a fall mini photo shoot in mid-September so maybe we’ll come up with something for that and then post a pic on social in early October. Maybe big sis and promoted to big brother shirt or something for DD and DS.

MandersX

mamabee1113 I really don't think it would in my department but they are getting rid of a lot of people. Better safe than sorry, I guess. We are hoping to know more about the specifics for my department in the next few weeks so maybe I won't have to wait that long. 

rexnie

No plans - just telling people as it feels natural. 

So far I’ve only shared with my closest friends and family members— the only people I’ve seen during a pandemic anyways. They are all people whose support I would want if we had to navigate a loss or an issue with the baby. 

goldpolkadot

Cute reveals are my absolute favorite 🥰 they just make me happy!

With DD1 we did a little 1+1=3 picture & posted on FB. We did something different for our families but I can’t remember 🤦🏼‍♀️

With DS1 we took a picture with pumpkins (and DD1 in a Big Sister shirt) & posted on FB with “adding a pumpkin to our patch.”

And then with DD2 we did a cute boys against girls tiebreaker picture with DD1 in pink & with a “no boys” shirt and DS1 in blue with a “no girls” shirt. 

@thedomesticgeek 100 year old schoolhouse?! How cool!!! I love your wording - it’s perfect!

@kelseyyh Canadian thanksgiving sounds like the perfect time to announce! We’re thinking about waiting until (american) thanksgiving - it just seems like a fun family time to announce! And I LOVE the poppyseed announcement! Too cute!

@juliebird6 We’re doing our Christmas mini in early November and I’m thinking we’ll incorporate the announcement somehow & then use it on our Christmas cards maybe!

kelseyyh

@goldpolkadot You guys sound like such a fun couple! Those are all adorable announcements. My friend did something similar to the pumpkin patch idea a few years ago. 

American Thanksgiving is sooo far!! If you are finding out the gender know, I suppose you could announce then too!!

It’s so nice to do it at big family events (that aren’t someone else’s birthday or wedding I suppose lol!). Seeing everyone’s reactions are soo cute. With DS, we told our parents separately, but the rest of the family found out on a cake lol. We were celebrating my graduation from uni. My mom had the cake say congratulations Mommy-to-be. I loved the reactions lol. 

eahayes

Was handed down a "Best Brother" shirt so I'll use that for my announcement to my friends/family/work but nothing that formal, will probably just snap a pic of DS in it and send out! I think most people will be shocked, since we do IVF and hadn't mentioned even thinking about starting the process and soon it'll be btw I'm 10 weeks!
Really nervous to tell my boss... she's wonderful but our year has been so insane with COVID (I'm a speech therapist at an elementary school and work so closely with my principal/boss) I feel like she will be happy for me but also aware this really screws up her already very tough year since I'm sort of her right hand person in a lot of ways.. also just feel badly to throw another huge thing at her when she is dealing with so much! 

goldpolkadot

@kelseyyh you're sweet, ty!! I just love fun ways to share the news. And I love seeing other cute ideas!
hahaha American tday IS far away - I'd be 20 weeks LOL. We just figure that with covid we're seeing people less and the time seems to be flying by so it might be fun just to wait until ALL the family is together. And yes! We usually find out the gender super early with the genetic test so it'll be fun to add that in there too! I love that cake you had!!

kvh22

@eahayes definitely lots of "I know my boss will be thrilled but also not a great time" over here, too. Is there any benefit with your due date being just before summer? My sister is an OT and just got her first job at a school district 1 day a week but will be filling in more to cover someone else's maternity leave and a few other things as the year progresses. From a school year perspective, your timing might actually be really good, no? There were so many teachers in my May BMB for that reason but I know sometimes speech and other services aren't limited to the school year.

I won't share at work until I'm 13 weeks+ but we told my mom, sister, and DH's parents this weekend. I didn't put it on FB until a week before my due date with DD2 and 6 months along with DD1 so I'm not big on creative announcements lol (they were also just pictures of me casually pregnant and DH without any acknowledgement of the pregnancy aside from the very obvious bump). I didn't tell most of my colleagues until I was 19-21 weeks last time and I'm in no rush with 2 kids at home while working to give people a reason to think I'm not executing my job well b/c of the pregnancy. We have a huge event in August usually (pushed to September and virtual this year) and I will be missing it for the 3rd time in 5 years because of being on maternity leave (I get 4 months off and it just happens to have coincided with each baby) so that will be interesting once people realize I won't be going again AND will be gone for ALL of the prep.

ffr2077

. Sigh. The bump really has issues. 

ffr2077

Grrr4r

aisukurimsarang

I told my BFF, mother, and sister. I learned the hard way not telling anyone leaves you very alone if you suffer a loss. We aren't telling his family until we get NIPT results.

Other than that... I'm not telling anyone anything. This tends to reveal itself. 😂

Lexibizzel

So far both our Moms and best friends know. This is a VERY unexpected pregnancy (I feel kind of ridiculous typing that, I know how babies can be made, ha). But as I think I mentioned in the introductions, my husband and I are seperated. We haven't publicly announced that, but of course, more and more people are finding out. 

So I'm juggling with balancing my desire to share with others my excitement over this baby and an awkward situation. 

kadeephd

@kvh22 @eahayes I'm also not looking forward to having to tell my "work," which in my case is my PhD program.  I already had one baby (and took a semester off to take care of him) so I feel like 2 during the program is pushing their tolerance.  I'm hoping the timing works out so that I don't have to take a semester off this time at least.  And now I'm in the dissertation phase so I'm also hoping I can just power through a lot this year so I can take next year a little easier. 

We never announced on social media, just posted a photo a few days after my son was born.  I think we'll probably do that again.  I'm not big on sharing personal stuff on social media.

theblondebump

It's our first pregnancy so my husband and I have been having A LOT of fun telling family (and a few friends!). 

We were only about 5.5 weeks when we told our parents because we were going to stay with my husband's entire family at a beach house and it was his grandma's 85th birthday. She had been telling everyone that all she wanted for her birthday was to find out she was going to be a great grandma, so we felt like we had to tell her for her birthday!  

First, we told my mom, who we are very close with. We invited her over for a game of charades and when it was my turn, I acted out being pregnant and she was like "You're having a baby" and I nodded and she was like "yeah, you're having a baby" (thinking it was just the game) and I was like YEP! and she was like "OMG YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!" and immediately burst into happy tears haha, it was SO sweet.

Then, with my husband's parents, we just moved into a new house in April, so we brought "photos of the house" to show them and we slipped the ultrasound photo into the stack of photos for them to find. They were really excited. 

Then, for his grandma's birthday, she was opening presents in front of the whole family. We put an appleseed in a little pill box and she opened it and was like a seed? Are you trying to tell me something? And we said, that's the size of your great grand child right now! And everyone went crazy! It was so fun  

Then, last week, we went on a hike with one of my best friends and her fiancé and we decided to tell them too. My husband had her and I pose for a photo at the top of the hike in front of a waterfall and he said, say cheese! and then he was like, oh that wasn't a good one, let me try again, say "we're pregnant!" and he was actually taking a video, not a photo, so he was able to capture her reaction and it was priceless - she was shocked! 

It's been so fun to share the news with family and friends so far! We will likely tell a few more of our very closest friends in the next couple of weeks (I'm currently 8 weeks), but we won't announce to the world (like on social media, etc.) until probably October or so, well into the second trimester. But anyone we've told so far would already definitely be in the loop if god forbid we had a miscarriage so it doesn't seem like there's any reason to hide it from them. It's been fun sharing the exciting news  

eahayes

@kvh22 I hope so.. the distance learning format might be good too if we are still in it because I could make distance packets and check in with kids and not have to use my maternity technically. I am talking to DH this weekend about how much time to take off, I took 9 months off with DS which was SO nice (especially bc I had some anxiety) so hoping I can come back in November or something and get a good chunk with this one!

riff323

@theblondebump I love all of those stories!!!

kelseyyh

@theblondebump These stories are so precious! ❤️ 

goldpolkadot

@theblondebump I LOVE all of your reveals!!! So cute!!

runsoncoffee

Did I see someone else was thinking of waiting until American thanksgiving?? My MIL and BIL/SIL all live out of town and we won't see them until thanksgiving. We are thinking of waiting until they walk in and see a baby bump  I just can't decide if my MIL would be mad or not for waiting so long. 

theblondebump

Thanks!! @goldpolkadot @riff323 @kelseyyh

I love hearing everyone else's reveals too! So fun!! 

bblair24

@theblondebump those are all so creative and fun! I love it!

bbrahmbhatt

@runsoncoffee Yes, I think we are waiting until Thanksgiving, since we won't be seeing family until then and we want to tell them in person. I'll be closer to 20 weeks by then, so maybe it will be hard to hide for a cute reveal haha

goldpolkadot

@bbrahmbhatt that's when we're thinking too!! I think it will be so fun to be so far along haha!!!

kelseyyh

Okay announcement update. Bit of a long story, so I’ll just put what hubby texted his best friend. He can not handle making up a lie & plans were being made. Backstory added for those interested. 

So...it’s a secret currently...but we are expecting player 4 to arrive April/May. 

Backstory: Our friends are moving their Bachelor/Bachelorette party weekend due to Covid. The guy was hubby’s best man & hubby is in the wedding - best friends since the fourth grade. Well, he calls hubby and says if May 1 or May 8 will work for a weekend at an airbnb. 😂 Currently, my EDD is April 16, but I have long cycles so it might actually be the end of April...and knowing how late I was with DS....we might have a May baby. Once I have an ultrasound I’ll know better of course. Ramble over. Sorry ladies, I’m a disastrous story teller. Obviously, this date will not work for me & preferably hubby will be home as well 🤪. 

theblondebump

That's so cute with the "player 4" @kelseyyh  ! 

We are having a similar issue - one of my closest friends was supposed to get married in November this year. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in hers. They postponed to next year because of COVID to (may 8). They decided to have a small ceremony in the beginning of September with just immediate family and the bridal party. It's outside, but I really don't feel all that comfortable going, to be honest. It's still like 20 people and I feel like no one will wear masks since it's a wedding. BUT her big wedding is in May next year and I have no idea what things will be like then - I'll be like 3 weeks post-baby. What if I have a c section and have a bad recovery? What if I don't feel safe traveling with baby yet? C section or not, am I really going to feel up to walking down the aisle in someone else's wedding 3 weeks post-baby? I have no idea. So I figure I kind of have to go to the September wedding, but I am kind of dreading it. Def feeling very anxious. 

kelseyyh

@theblondebump Oh boy... I hope whatever you decide, you’re comfortable with it ❤️. I really don’t know much about C section recovery, but vaginal delivery recovery is still a process! I was out at baby groups with DS after 2 weeks (obviously pre-covid era), but I was just sitting with no pressure to look good or anything. It might be fun for you to get dolled up though and feel a bit more human while you’re in the early days with a newborn. There’s so much up in the air surrounding our due dates though & how delivery / recovery will go. 

theblondebump

@kelseyyh true! But encouraging to hear that you were out and about 2 weeks post-baby. I am pretty terrified of giving birth. I only just found out what an episiotomy was a couple weeks ago, haha. Even without an episiotomy, tearing/stitches sound very scary! 

goldpolkadot

@kelseyyh oh man!!! Well cute text, even it was kind of forced because of situation! 

@theblondebump I think it’ll mainly be up to how you feel - like if you really, really want to go then you’ll totally be able to make it happen. I have no experience with c-section recovery, but I too was up going on walks after 2 weeks. Now I will say that after 3 babies I’m a huge advocate of taking it as easy as humanly possible (mostly just to help yourself heal and rest), BUT if you’re going to be sad to miss it then you can totally do it! Tiny babies are easy to tote around! On the flip side, you will totally be within your rights to bail, too! Having a newborn is a legit excuse!

juliebird6

@theblondebump Oof, neither of those options are desirable! I will say though...I would not bank on wanting to go to a wedding (let alone stand up in one) or take your brand new baby 3 weeks after giving birth. No matter what your labor/recovery is like, that first good month (really, more like 3 months) is such a blur because you.dont.sleep. At all. I had to be in a “destination” wedding about 8 weeks after a CS, and I did NOT feel good about myself. I spent most of the weekend hiding, looking at pictures of my baby (who I left with my mom for the weekend, bless the person who takes a NB over night!!) and trying to sleep. 

kelseyyh

@theblondebump I had a second degree tear. I think it was better than the third and fourth degree stories I’ve heard by far. Healing took time, but obviously now it’s less than 2 years later and things “down there” are all good (the OB said “beautiful” at my 6 week check up but let’s not get crazy lol). I was definitely still in recovery after 2 weeks, but I went to church & the baby group.

In terms of labour & delivery fears - Just remember that women have been giving birth a long time. You are following a sisterhood 💕. Interventions have been developed to aid in the process, and completely step in if truly needed. During my labour we watched a movie & listened to music. Make the experience your own & control the aspects you can control. Obviously you don’t know how you will respond to labour / what all will happen, but plan to have things that comfort you at the ready ❤️. And it’ll be your story. Lots of my friends have had home births, lots have had hospital births. Some induced, some spontaneous labour, some planned or emergency C sections. Some have epidurals or other pain relief, some don’t. I’m so grateful to have been at a hospital & have been supported throughout the whole experience by lovely nurses, my hubby & my mom (who likely can’t join this time unless things change). Home birth example: With her second, my sister delivered hers at home with her hubby, before her midwife had even arrived. She loved the experience. 

Probably not the best coping strategy but I just didn’t think about labour until the end of my pregnancy 🤪. I do think it feels a bit traumatic, even if nothing crazy happens. It’s just a totally surreal experience. 

kelseyyh

@goldpolkadot Thanks 💕. I was really nervous to tell them. Hubby just felt like there was no real explanation for why we’d be busy so far from now during covid times.

TW - We haven’t shared with these friends about our loss back in February, and it was really worrying me to tell people knowing we’ve yet to have that first ultrasound. PGAL brain sucks! Though, we didn’t tell people this early with DS either. I might vent about this in the PGAL check in tomorrow as it brought up some emotions... 

goldpolkadot

@kelseyyh vent away 💕💕 I’ve caught myself almost telling a few different friends this past week. Totally get it!!

kelseyyh

@goldpolkadot I felt guilty that we haven’t told my parents yet, but we were truly planning to wait till October for most people. Maybe just the ultrasound for my Momma 💕. We all just have to find the right time for us.