IF Testing and Treatment week of 6/29

bluetickgal

@mvt2003 the compounding trauma is so hard and so incredibly unfair! 💜 I’m glad you are feeling positive after your WTF appointment! It sounds like you have a great plan in place, and I’m so happy you get to move forward with this cycle! I’ll be hoping so hard that one or both of those embryos is so sticky!!! I want you to be able to put that money you’ve saved towards a peloton! Thank you so much, friend!! 

@emeraldduchess thank you, friend! Your message for real made me tear up! 💜 We do have so much love to give!! I know we all do, and I can’t wait for all of us to get our take home babies!! 

@shoogapoff thank you!! That is so great that you and YH also plan to make adoption/fostering a part of your story! I know it won’t be easy, but I do believe that if it is the right path for us (and you all)...that it will work out somehow! 

s_montgomery

@inthewoods23 our insurance doesn't cover SA but ours was $99. I called a few places for quotes though. If that's the cheapest in your area, hopefully it's at least a more pleasant experience. MH was sent to a bathroom with a cup and a magazine. 🙄 I felt sad for him about the way they collect. I guess it makes sense not to have a nice room to collect samples from for cleaning purposes, but I know he felt very uncomfortable.

keikilove

Hey friends, I hope you all are having a lovely weekend! I lurked here all week but didn't have time to interact (work, womp womp).  Story of my life lately...

@shoogapoff & @bluetickgal Good for both of you for considering adoption.  When I first joined here there was a member who was going that route.  I've also always wanted to adopt out of foster care.  I was looking up info last week, but will have to put it off until after IVF gives us some direction...

@emeraldduchess Hop ethe job search starts to improve soon! Super excited for you about starting IVF meds! I bet that was a surreal feeling to drop that deposit. FX it all pays off quickly.

@inthewoods23 Glad you are feeling positive about the timing and planning for the future!  Sounds like you can just enjoy each other this summer without stressing too much.

@legallykate I know it may not feel this way to you, but everytime I read your updates, I think, "Wow, things are moving so fast for her!" Hope the testing gives you all the right info so you can move right to IVF the next cycle. And that's amazing that your AMH increased so significantly, congrats!

@gingermama29 Last pack of BCP, woohoo! Hang in there, you're almost there.

@thegirlwhowaited_ Yes, having no answers is so frustrating! Have you had/considered a laparascopy for the suspected endo?

@kpearse99 Congrats on AF finally showing up! Hope the time off of tracking, etc, really helps you.  It's so nice to take a break sometimes.

@shoogapoff FX that the trial moves ahead perfectly on schedule--so excited for you!  Such an amazing opportunity.

@bluetickgal Really hoping right along with you that your good feelings are a sign that this cycle is successful!

@ramzlau I am sorry to ask, I think I missed an update in the last few weeks.  May I ask why you are benched?  Either way, glad it gives you the time to find a new RE that you feel more comfortable with! So glad you are not staying with that unprofessional office.

@mvt2003 Wow, what an update! :-) So glad you are feeling good about the process going forward! I can't really answer your question, but my RE also said that we will end up transferring two at once due to my age (as long as we even get 2 healthy embryos to transfer).

keikilove

I don't know if anyone will be checking in here over the weekend, but I'm just gonna get all this stuff off my chest.  It's been a really heavy week re: TTC.

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL/RIF, Elevated NK Cells & Activity (mostly resolved), Blood-clotting mutations, AMA

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFAF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): This is supposed to be our egg retrieval cycle once AF arrives!! I was sooo excited to finally get to this point, but this week brought some serious doubts and I may wait until the next cycle.  We just did an IUI supported with Letrozole: I had 2 big follicles but the IUI didn't work this time.

All of our previous 4 IUIs were at least initially successful (ended in chemicals) so for this one to not work at all even with Letrozole recruiting 2 follies was a real bummer.  Also, I felt that we triggered too soon since this was the first time my OPKs hadn't even begun to turn positive in the slightest before the IUI. 

How are things going?: Rough.   I was told to double up on my progesterone going forward, so that is what I did with this IUI. So now I've had a bfn & stopped all meds for the past 6 days, but still no AF.  I guess doubling the progesterone has really thrown my body off.  Also, had my consult with my backup fertility clinic, and that has really messed with my head & emotions all week.  Basically, the doctor said some really harsh things, even though online he has the warmest demeanor and the most upbeat positive-mindset videos around. It was so rough that I don't think they will be my backup clinic anymore... Details in spoiler.

So, the first thing is that my FSH has always been low, which has been encouraging, along with an ok AFC and a low-but-not-devastating-low AMH.  Well, when I did the CD3 tests for the backup clinic, my FSH had skyrocketed to 18 (!!!), my AFC is still average for my age, but my AMH has also plummeted. These numbers alone were enough to devastate me.  I have been doing all the supplements from It Starts With The Egg and I thought this would have really increased my numbers in a good way.  I can't help but wonder if all these immune meds I'm on have actually sped up my declining egg reserve, or if the Letrozole the past few months f-ed things up somehow.

Anyway, the new doctor at the backup clinic asked my history. I told him about how I have been able to get PG easily before starting all these immune meds--just can't get them to stick--, and how I've experienced many losses in the last 2 years. He ignored this background info and just looked at my numbers and said, "Listen, there is a .002% chance that even IVF is going to work for you. You think you're eating a good diet by going gluten-, dairy-, and sugar-free?!  Basically your diet is FULL of sugar!  Oatmilk, fruits, vegetables--it's all full of sugar.  You are killing your embryos by eating this diet!!! You need to switch to keto if you want to have any chance at all. All you can eat is bacon, beef, butter, eggs, and ice cream. If you're not willing to do this you're not going to have success. (He talked about a strict keto diet for 30 of the 50-minute appointment.) Oh yeah, and try ALL the immune treatments we offer because you have to start somewhere and you have nothing to lose."  It was F***ing HARSH.  And it sounds like it will cost me a ton of money to "try all the immune treatments" their office offers.  I am not sure where we will go from here. 

I need to regroup with my local RE & revisit some immune treatments we've discussed, and the timing.  For example, I am sure that I need IVIG ($$$$$) and we may also try Humira or Neupogen (more $$$$). I feel so overwhelmed that I am not sure this month is the time to do the ER.  I was also surprised that both REs have recently said that I likely won't get many embryos at all due to my age, so we cannot plan to test them.  They will let them get to 3 days only, then put them right back in fresh--no testing and no freezing.  This makes me super nervous but with two REs saying the same thing, I guess that's the way we will likely go.  Unless, by some miracle, I get way more eggs than they predict and then we can risk letting some of them go to 5 days for testing. 

Holy s***, just typing this out has me feeling so stressed all over again.  Thanks for listening, ladies.  This has been weighing so heavily on me all week and has put a ton of doubt in my mind that we will ever have success.  All week I was so busy with work that I didn't have a free moment to really process through it until right now... But it does feel good to type it out and just let it out of my system.

Any questions?: Has anyone done the keto diet and feel that it made a huge difference in their health? Calling all grad lurkers: was keto the magic bullet for you?

GTKY: What languages can you speak? What languages would you like to learn? I love languages, they used to come very easily to me.  I spent many years studying Japanese, Spanish, and a little while learning French, Italian, and Hawaiian. But, "use it or lose it". I am at the point where I understand a lot of Spanish but can't speak it anymore. I'd love to speak Italian fluently and go live there for a while when this health stuff clears up.

inthewoods23

@keikilove wtf with that clinic?? How is bacon better than fruits and veggies?? Funny how he doesn't bring up anything that's horrible-for-you processed foods. Don't move forward with anything you're not feeling comfortable with.  We're here for you ❤️

keikilove

@inthewoods23 Thanks, friend.💛 I appreciate you. IF is hard! 

kpearse99

@keikilove omg, friend! I don’t even know where to start.... What the actual F to the backup clinic??!!! Man, that all had to have been a lot to swallow and process and i don’t blame you if you don’t do the retrieval this month. I think you 💯 should regroup with your RE and see what they have to say about all the horrible stuff the backup clinic said. I’m really curious about what your RE has to say.
DH and I did Keto for several months and saw weight loss, for sure (mostly him because he had more to lose than me) BUT he cholesterol went through the roof!!! So we stopped that diet... and obviously it didn’t help me get KU. 

emeraldduchess

@keikilove wow, that backup RE is a major a**hat. You don't talk to someone like that! I want to punch him. And nothing about that bacon/butter/ice cream diet makes sense. I agree with @kpearse99 talk to your RE and relay that conversation. SO many hugs to you. 

legallykate

@keikilove That backup RE sounds like he has a horrible bedside manner. It's amazing to me how some of these health professionals maintain careers in a field where they have to deliver a lot of bad news. I would talk to your normal RE before changing any of your plans based on the backup guy. In even just my limited experience the numbers can change a ton from month to month, so especially with your history I wouldn't let this guy convince you not to move forward. I have done keto on and off in the past, and it is actually the healthiest I have ever felt (and MH has had the same experience). It's just really hard to sustain. But there are a lot of groups out there that swear it helps with fertility, although other REs think it is terrible for fertility. 

**TW - LC**

I was doing keto very strictly when I conceived DD, but I was also doing it somewhat strictly at the beginning of the year when we started trying this time, and obviously that didn't work out so it is hard to say whether that helped three years ago or if my eggs were just way younger/better then.

gingermama29

@keikilove I'm so sorry for your experience with your backup clinic. That's so unacceptable that he spoke to you that way. I agree with the above advice about speaking with your RE about it. Hugs friend.

keikilove

@gingermama29 @emeraldduchess Thanks so much for your support. I think I was just in shock at his gruffness. It’s like, I get that none of this is a guarantee for any of us. I get that I’m on the older side, etc, and he wants me to be realistic. But geez, doc, no need to be so extreme with your delivery of the message! 

@kpearse99 @legallykate Thank you both for your kind words, & for sharing your experience with keto. The thing is, I’ve lost all the weight I need to in order to feel good going into IVF. I’m 5’10” & am finally back at my normal weight of 148. I know he’s recommending keto to bring down inflammation, but that’s exactly what the diet I’m on currently is supposed to do. After talking to him I did eat bacon & butter-fried eggs for breakfast—and almost puked afterwards. Felt like a rock in my stomach after how “healthy” I’ve been eating. I’m just not into meat, never have been, and was pretty much raised eating a Mediterranean diet, so to eat all that heavy keto stuff feels really foreign and unnatural to me. Also, I’m very healthy but always have genetically high cholesterol, so I guess if I try the keto diet it can’t be for long anyway. 

I don’t know...I was so excited by the prospect of CNY being our second option since they’re so used to doing immune treatments, and they’re affordable out of pocket. But I only need a backup option if the first cycle doesn’t work with my local RE. So now I’m going to focus on getting super clear with my RE here about what options we have to maximize the potential for this first IVF to be a success. 

bluetickgal

@keikilove thanks friend!! I’m hoping with everything in me that IVF will work for you...and that you can foster to adopt in the future if that’s what you and YH want to do!! I’m so sorry for how your backup RE talked to you...and the fact that he didn’t seem to consider your history after asking about it , but just looked at the numbers and spoke very harshly! Sending hugs your way! 💜 I totally agree that regrouping with your RE sounds like the best plan to see what their thoughts are before moving forward with anything suggested by the new RE! I hate that this was supposed to be your backup, and in turn the RE ended up making you doubt things and suggest you change up everything diet-wise, when it sounds like you have done what you need to in that department! I hope your regular RE gives you some help & guidance with how to move forward...whether that is going ahead with the egg retrieval this cycle or waiting another cycle! 

shoogapoff

@keikilove Okay, so i know this is probably just my hormones talking because AF should be here any day, but I legitimately teared up hearing about your experience with the backup RE! I'm so sorry about that conversation! I agree with @bluetickgal that it's so terrible that your 2nd opinion just put doubt in your mind. Hopefully regrouping with your RE is helpful.

keikilove

@bluetickgal & @shoogapoff  Thank you both sooo much for your super supportive comments.💗 You all have given me a bit of hope, & lots of encouragement to step away from the backup RE’s negativity & just chill out until I can touch base w my local RE. I love her so much anyway—she doesn’t tolerate any negative thinking! Hopefully she will be available ASAP to advise me on the best steps for this cycle.