Lol so those who can't participate or dont always have anything to share are excluded? Someone is now deciding who gets to join? Geeze I always heard these mommy groups were petty but having it start before baby even comes geshh
@tuesdayw1992 the private group is made up of women who have been actively participating and communicating with one another. If you aren’t able to participate, then you’re not really missing anything anyway. We share a lot of details on many different topics and we don’t just want anyone reading them that can’t contribute to some sort of conversation.
It's an exclusive mommy group leaving out other members. Don't try to sugar coat it. YOU are deciding who is "active" enough to join. It's not just "anyone" who is reading these posts. It's pregnant women due in September. Did you ever stop to think that alot of the women on here are also learning by just being present and reading? Anyways, there are plenty of great inclusive groups out there for those who don't get there invite!
To be honest, I can see what @tuesdayw1992 is saying. I am too introverted/private of a person to have even introduced myself, let alone comment on these threads (due Sept. 15th with a boy). It was the same case for my previous pregnancy BMB (Dec17). I have ALWAYS appreciated reading the boards daily to learn from other women at the same stage as I am, even if I do not feel able to actively participate. I fully admit to being a dirty lurker, but I feel like that was always the positive light of these monthly boards. Those that felt comfortable sharing and actively discussing on a daily basis could do so and those that did not could still learn from their shared wisdom.
That said, I completely respect the women on this board who have decided to move to a private location. I feel like I have gotten to know you all by reading your comments, even though I was too nervous to share my own. I understand why you would not want to deal with drive-bys or weirdos, and that you may want to move to a more private location (although I wish you would have waited until closer to/after birth). I wish you all the best and I will miss quietly cheering you on from the sidelines.
There are lots of websites and other boards for moms to get information on pregnancy and babies. But I’m not about to share personal information with a bunch of random people on the internet that I don’t know. Unfortunately anyone can lurk and anyone can pretend they are pregnant on these boards. On one of my previous bmb’s a mom made up up her entire pregnancy and preterm birth story and lied to everyone. We were all concerned about her baby who was born at 26 weeks and praying for a baby that didn’t even exist.
Private boards allow for us to get to know each other better with a bit more with security than these open boards. If someone can’t introduce themselves on this board and participate in a post or two, they don’t need to be part of it. A private board isn’t for lurkers, but for people who want to actively participate and developed real friendships. There has been talk of eventually moving to a private board/Facebook for months.
This happens on every bmb here on the bump. When the time comes to move over, there are always people who complain. Anyone is welcome to make their own private group or move to Facebook, and decide what rules they want to have.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
Just to chime in we decided to move to a private group as the regular participators. Participating is a two way street you don’t just get to know someone one sided and expect them to know you too. We are allowing people to join who have lightly participated. With the understanding that they must regularly participate in the private group. If you haven’t introduced yourself or commented a few times it’s hard for us to know if you are a real person or if you are a “robot” since we have had several of those posts.
This public place can still be used and you are welcome to post boards and discuss anything you’d like to!
Im sorry you feel excluded but I do feel that we have to protect each other too. If you’d like to participate on some posts we still pop in and chat!
And really, all we're asking for to be able to hang around in the private board is a full picture of you with your bump to prove that you're real. Beyond that how much or little you participate is up to you. I definitely can get that you might feel that way, but there's a lot of us who have been around here for a long time and seen some pretty shitty things done (people using fake pictures and stories for attention and financial gain) and are kind of gun shy when it comes to sharing more personal information. This is just the way that we decided we can make most people feel the most comfortable.
Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
F born June 2018 W born September 2020 #3 due November 2022
I feel like We have been pretty lenient so far with who is allowed to join. Most groups put a time limit on when people are allowed to join. All we ask for is a real photo, and regular engagement. We understand that people have lives and are busy. Hell im moving right now and get car sick so I haven’t been on a lot and I’ve missed SO. MUCH. And I can’t wait to get back on to be able to catch up with everyone. I’ve been a long time lurker of the bump and get that lurking allows you to learn so much, but it’s also scary how easy it is to get info on posters. I’m not comfortable sharing too much on the public space so yes, if I’m sharing pics of myself, H, life, and eventually baby I want the people I’m sharing it with to be active in the community otherwise why would I bother??? You don’t have to comment on every post if it’s not relevant to you. But most things are if you’re pregnant tbh, I feel like I can talk about everything. And even if it’s just offering some damn support? We aren’t being petty and that’s that on that.
Hi @balletnerd I definitely remember you and am happy to see you here! I ended up having my Dec17 daughter 8 weeks early from severe pre-e, so I was not super active on the board.
@ashwortl and @tuesdayw1992 just wanted to speak up as a very introverted person who hates social media.
I was a chronic lurker when I joined the bump in 2012. I didn't really start to participate in threads until I was having fertility issues in 2017/2018. Even when I joined my Nov18 BMB I was an occasional poster. However, we were also concerned about security issues (believe it or not there are a lot of crazy people posing as pregnant women who have even gone so far as to harass other people, solicit money etc) so my group decided to go to facebook (they didn't do the private bump board). They said that they would be choosing people based on participation. Yes, participation is subjective and every group is going to have different criteria. My last BMB was very strict so I stepped up my game and I'm glad I did because I'm in the facebook group now which has been a huge help to me in raising my twins (there are 32 of us). I'm not super active in my facebook group (maybe I post a few times a week or so) but all those ladies know me, know I'm an introvert and let me do my own thing. But I'm supportive when I need to be and they know they can count on that.
This group has been very lenient so far with who they let in. It's really not that hard to do a weekly check-in, respond to people's questions etc. If you are really interested in getting to know everyone better, put in a little effort and then over time you may be invited to join.
Most of us are still coming over here to comment on stuff so we'll see you here. The private group is really about safety...even if it's just emotional safety.
Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)
Twins: Kaiden and Zara born 10/2018 conceived after 6 years of infertility via a medicated IUI
@linz36 Thanks. I totally get it. I'm just not a big social media person at all, so I would never expect to be invited to the group, and that's ok. I guess I was just trying to say that I'm sad that everyone went private so soon and it is unfortunate that it is necessary with all the crazies out there.
@ashwortl I think also a big reason the private group was made early was because it seemed like it was the same people that were regularly participating here anyway. It’s not like we’ve always had a big group and then decided to make it exclusive or anything.
Bummed that the private group was made so early, but glad ya’ll are still checking in over here. I used to post a lot, but with the state shut down I now am a high school math teacher, homeschool teacher for a 1st grade and a TKer and am in the midst of potty training an almost 3 year old, so I definitely have ghosted the board. Hope to pick up my posting a bit in the next few weeks as school ends and maybe will get the invite for the private group...
Bummed that the private group was made so early, but glad ya’ll are still checking in over here. I used to post a lot, but with the state shut down I now am a high school math teacher, homeschool teacher for a 1st grade and a TKer and am in the midst of potty training an almost 3 year old, so I definitely have ghosted the board. Hope to pick up my posting a bit in the next few weeks as school ends and maybe will get the invite for the private group...
You ARE in the private group lol
Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
F born June 2018 W born September 2020 #3 due November 2022
Hey all! I know I've been gone for a while. My mental health, this pregnancy, and the COVID internet have not been playing nicely. My plan is to participate some more again, but I mobile bump and they have made it even harder to find this section now of course. I don't have pictures up, but I guess I can figure something out. I'm non-binary, so bump pictures can be a bit dysphoria inducing for me. Maybe I'll take one in my rainbow sports bra (the showing skin doesn't bother me, the bump revealing women's clothing choosing does) Again, sorry I ghosted. I just wish this part of the app sent push notifications like Twitter or Facebook. They do not make mobile easy to use, do they?
Here to say I can’t get to it either! Glad it’s not just me. For the past week too every time I try to go read or comment it logs me out and then I log in and it logs out again. So frustrating.
So I saw on another board that the Bump has given their employees the day off for black out Tuesday. So just FYI I don’t think they will get to fixing it until tomorrow. Hope you all are having a good day! It’s nice here today so we got some good outside time this morning.
Oof I'm glad I'm not the only one! Between work and sleep, it makes it hard to get into an active habit of coming on and checking things and putting my own replies, and it's worse when you got an app as glitchy as this one Hopefully it'll get back up and running in no time!
Re: Private Group
That said, I completely respect the women on this board who have decided to move to a private location. I feel like I have gotten to know you all by reading your comments, even though I was too nervous to share my own. I understand why you would not want to deal with drive-bys or weirdos, and that you may want to move to a more private location (although I wish you would have waited until closer to/after birth). I wish you all the best and I will miss quietly cheering you on from the sidelines.
This public place can still be used and you are welcome to post boards and discuss anything you’d like to!
Im sorry you feel excluded but I do feel that we have to protect each other too. If you’d like to participate on some posts we still pop in and chat!
I definitely can get that you might feel that way, but there's a lot of us who have been around here for a long time and seen some pretty shitty things done (people using fake pictures and stories for attention and financial gain) and are kind of gun shy when it comes to sharing more personal information. This is just the way that we decided we can make most people feel the most comfortable.
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
I was a chronic lurker when I joined the bump in 2012. I didn't really start to participate in threads until I was having fertility issues in 2017/2018. Even when I joined my Nov18 BMB I was an occasional poster. However, we were also concerned about security issues (believe it or not there are a lot of crazy people posing as pregnant women who have even gone so far as to harass other people, solicit money etc) so my group decided to go to facebook (they didn't do the private bump board). They said that they would be choosing people based on participation. Yes, participation is subjective and every group is going to have different criteria. My last BMB was very strict so I stepped up my game and I'm glad I did because I'm in the facebook group now which has been a huge help to me in raising my twins (there are 32 of us). I'm not super active in my facebook group (maybe I post a few times a week or so) but all those ladies know me, know I'm an introvert and let me do my own thing. But I'm supportive when I need to be and they know they can count on that.
This group has been very lenient so far with who they let in. It's really not that hard to do a weekly check-in, respond to people's questions etc. If you are really interested in getting to know everyone better, put in a little effort and then over time you may be invited to join.
Most of us are still coming over here to comment on stuff so we'll see you here. The private group is really about safety...even if it's just emotional safety.
Two Furbabies: Mika (american eskimo) and Gypsy (wire-haired terrier, dachshund mix)
Twins: Kaiden and Zara born 10/2018 conceived after 6 years of infertility via a medicated IUI
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022
DS born 9/24/2020
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022