My A/S is tomorrow. Last I heard DH could come, but I’m going to call and ask again in the morning because they said things are changing every day. We are expected to wear masks from the time we exit our vehicle in the parking garage until we get back to our vehicle and we have to stop at 3 different checkpoints to do temp/symptom checks. I’m actually honestly extremely nervous to even venture out.. and while I’m grateful for all of the precautions being taken it also scares me and makes this virus stuff really real. My appointment afterwards with the doctor has been switch to phone call only. So I’m going to assume no lab work? It’s all just going to be so weird....
AS is scheduled In 3 weeks but DH won’t be able to come. I need to see if they will let me FaceTime him or something. That is when we were planning on finding out gender.
@balletnerd That’s when we are planning on finding out too. so if H can’t come to mine I was going to try to FaceTime him for the scan but have the US tech write the sex down on paper so I can find out with him in person.
Well, in a chain of confusing events, my appointment for yesterday got cancelled and rescheduled to next Friday, 45 minutes after my genetic counseling appointment across the street in the children's hospital. Word right now is that the children's hospital is allowing a visitor with patients but I will call them personally on Friday morning to verify that information before bringing my SO. Physicians and Women's Health aren't allowing visitors despite an email that happened to say otherwise, so my SO can wait in the car for that time or go get us pho takeout since it's close by. The thing I'm excited about is that my appointment at the children's hospital 99% will have an ultrasound so we'll get to find out the gender together if they tell us when they know! If they don't, I'm going to have them write it down, because the next day after is mine and my boyfriend's 3-year friendaversary and I already had plans for us to go get IHOP to go and eat in the car, so would be a cute way to gender reveal to him in private.
I know I'm not the only one feeling this. But I am devastated my husband can't come to the A/S. When I made the appointment they said call and ask the tech. I know they were just passing me off but it gave me hope. My husband hasn't been anywhere I haven't. If he is too risky, then I am too. I understand precautions and don't mean to minimize the risk or fear healthcare workers must feel, but I am seriously just lost right now. I was told I'd be able to video chat him. Which I know is better than nothing. I know that logically I should just accept that and be happy. But honestly I'd rather cancel my appointment. This baby is ours. He is just as much a part of this as I am and to exclude him feels so wrong. I've spent the last hour crying. Now I have to try to put on a brave face and go downstairs to tell him. Thanks for listening moms. I just needed to share.
@baebaek2020 I've been feeling the same. I was uncontrollably excited for our 9 week ultrasound, and it was the most amazing experience ever. Now with our a/s on May 1, I've been dreading it and having nightmares of all the things that could go wrong that I won't be able to handle alone, without my husband there. But I try to reassure myself that there's been so signs that anything is wrong, and I haven't heard the heartbeat since 11weeks so I know it'll be such a relief if everything does go alright, and I'll be so glad I did go- and just trying to focus on that part. For baby's sake it needs to be done, and there will be a lot of things in their lives that I may not like but will have to suck it up and deal with it- this is just the first one earlier than we were expecting, and if I can make it thru one hurdle I can make it thru the next. Hang in there- just be hopeful this has died down enough by September so that our husbands can be with us in the delivery rooms.
@baebaek2020 I was really sad two weeks ago when they confirmed H couldn’t join for the anatomy scan. The appointment was 1.5 weeks ago and while it was hard it was okay. I couldn’t video chat or take pics or video in the office so I just had to wait to tell him about it when I got home. It was nerve wracking because it was also my MFM consult where decisions/limitations about the birth of this baby we’re conveyed to me and we have a few important questions to go over. Same as @readytobemama I am hoping all precautions now make it possible to have H by my side in aug/sept for the birth. I am sorry this is so devastating. You are strong and can get through it for your sweet baby. Being a mom has some really hard days and that sucks.
@readytobemama and @Louise_Belcher Thank you so much for sharing. I know we are all in a rough place and I appreciate you helping put this in perspective. @readytobemama I hope everything goes well for your appointment.
Best of luck to you both. I cannot say thank you enough for the kind words, they are what I needed today.
I agree with all you mommas on how hard this is to not be able to have our husbands with us for these big moments! My anatomy scan isn’t until May 6 (with MFM doctors at the hospital I’m delivering at) so not sure if he can come yet but not getting my hopes up. But he wasn’t able to come to my 14 week OB and can’t come to my 18 week tomorrow which was really hard for me. We have been through so much together- lost 3 babies in first trimester (one in 2017, one in 2018 and one in 2019) so this is by far the furthest we’ve made it in a pregnancy but I still get so nervous for the Doppler check each time- my clothes are soaked in sweat when I leave 🤦🏻♀️ Our 3rd loss we had seen a healthy heartbeat then the following week found out at a scan that baby had died and I just lost it and thank God my husband was with me. So I just fear going through any hard news without him but I’m trying to stay positive! Also I want him to be able to experience the positive moments too we’ve been waiting so long for! My doctor last month was really sweet and let me call DH so he could hear the heartbeat atleast. We’re very blessed to have our DS through adoption and I know I have no reason to think anything is wrong with this baby either. And I know people are dying from COVID and we have so much to be thankful for- but I think it is also ok to acknowledge that this is a hard time to be pregnant for us mommas and to grieve not being able to have our husbands with us!
@momofmiracles31889 make sure you voice these feelings to your office/doctor. It seems to me he is essential for you. I’m in Michigan and they are allowing a support person for your anatomy scan. We had to wear masks. I really hope they let him come!
Thanks @ktholysz! I definitely am going to talk to the MFM office when they call to confirm my appointment and see what they say. I feel like for people with a hard pregnancy history plus I struggle with my mental health it is essential to have support. My husband has been working from home so he’s really not any more risk than me and we both have masks
Had my first tele health appointment today. They asked me to weigh myself at home. Ran through basic questions about if I’m having any headaches and medications, I spoke about exercise and coffee drinking, and she said call if any issues. Pretty easy appt.!
I just got the call that my husband can’t be with me. Was totally expecting it but just hearing it confirmed sucks. They did say we could video chat so that will work for me. I do want him there when I talk to the doctor so I’m hoping they will let me leave after the scan and the doctor will call my cell phone. Last time they made me do the phone appointment in the office and they made me use their phone. It was weird.
I know I’m thinking ahead here but how is everyone planning to handle people visiting after the baby is born? Things in my area still aren’t great and I don’t want to risk my baby’s health by having people visit when the baby comes. I know it would crush my parents but they aren’t taking it seriously. They have company over every night and have even had visitors from other states. My mom works at a doctor’s office and a grocery store. I thought about just telling them to quarantine close to my due date but I honestly think they just wouldn’t tell me if they went out and about or had people over.
@em_el DH and I were discussing this the other day. Luckily we have time and hopefully things will be different by then. As of now, no visitors at hospital, which I am TOTALLY fine with. Ended up having a wayyy too crowded room with my first (I was younger and didn't know how to tell people no). But we are open to family and close friends scheduling a time to come by and visit when we get home. However we are requiring a two week quarantine if they want to come by. Pediatrician isn't so worried about the baby, as recovering mom, and grandparents. I'm sorry you feel like your parents wouldn't be honest. It's definitely a risk. But, if you are not comfortable tell them no. Unless they can prove to you they are taking it seriously, they will just have to wait. It stinks. But it's not worth stressing over other people's feelings. This is all about you and baby. It's okay to say no.
Yeah this is something I’ve been considering lately too. We had already talked about before covid that we want no visitors at the hospital at all. The peds don’t have too much advice they just say do what’s comfortable to you. I know people who have made people wait a month to hold baby and I know some have waited two weeks and they could hold if wearing a mask and washed their hands. I’m leaning towards case by case. We plan to ask my MIL to watch our older son while we are in the hospital so for her we are thinking hand washing is enough. So depending on how I feel it will at least be hand washing and at most be mask and hand washing. And no holding by nieces/nephews until baby is older. I’m really hoping the second wave doesn’t happen but I’m prepared to even say sorry you have to wait until baby is a month old. Breaks my heart to do so but baby’s health and our families health is my number 1 priority
There are about 12 people that I know will visit the house and hold the baby within the first few weeks. Currently visitors are not allowed at the hospital, but who knows what that will look like in 3 months and how I will feel. I’m not sure I want the boys to come up to the hospital for the visit anyway. It would be easier to manage that first meeting on their turf but it will be hard to not have my parents come. Previously I preferred if everyone just got their visit in while I was still at the hospital and mostly left me alone at home so who know. I’ll figure that out in August. At that point our risk level will be high anyway with two kids at school and H likely back to in person lectures. The people my baby lives with will be risker than all but maybe one or two of the visitors.
I live with my H, MIL, FIL, SIL, GMIL, and GFIL. So they will all be around the baby. As of right now I’m pretty sure my hospital has a no visitor policy except for a support person so that’s fine with me. Even if they allow visitors by then I might just want it to be me and H anyway at least for the first day since that will be our alone time with him. My family is in NJ so not sure if they will be traveling to see him. Honestly makes me nervous but I will probably be requiring a mask/washing hands since they will be coming from the airport. For any other friends/family I will probably want to wait at least a couple weeks. I really want to get his hospital test results back (CF) before letting any non-immediate family meet him.
As of now we have discussed no visitors in the hospital which they aren’t allowed anyway. My parents are going to quarantine for two weeks before baby is born so they can take my older two. So they will be able to see and hold baby. Everyone else will depend on what they are willing to do. We would prefer a two week quarantine and I know people will either not be willing to or can’t do that. They will have to wait to meet baby. I know they’ll be upset or maybe angry but that’s how it is. With our older kids we said people had to have a flu shot and tdap. I view this in the same way. We are saying it is touch and go, but if someone asked us today, this is our response. They are anticipating a spike in September so we out going off of that.
No visitors at the hospital per Covid rules (beyond that it would’ve just been our kids and Grama), but unfortunately it is what it is.
Likely no visitors at home either other than Grandma and maybe my BFF unless if things are drastically different between now and then. Even still I’m a pretty big germaphobe and have become quite an introvert because of it the last few years..
How is everyone thinking you will handle older kids in school this fall? Unless things close again at the end of August, everyone in my house except me will likely be outside the house during the day most weekdays. So there will be no quarantine for us right before or after the baby is due.
@Louise_Belcher Older kids and school do make things more complicated. So in an ideal world I would love to really limit my kids exposure in the fall but any distance learning or homeschool would be a real test to my sanity and I don’t think I could do either. And especially not with newborn twins either.
I spoke with my girls school (it’s private so they have more leeway to do what they want because they don’t have to deal with unions or contracts) and they plan to do full school in Aug. They are going to try and distance students as much as possible but they are not going to reduce classroom sizes or do half days or alternating schedules like I have heard some public schools are considering. They aren’t going to do face masks. They do have outdoor hallways so that’s a plus in their favor. Mostly they are just going to have more hand washing and temp checks but that’s about it.
They will definitely be exposed more and thus us as well. But I don’t really see any real other viable options. Will probably have them use hand sanitizer as soon as they hop in the van. I think that’s all we can really do. I’m trying to be remember that kids don’t seem to get it and I hope statistics will be on our side. I worry more so that Dh will get it through work. He has to travel to Georgia in July and exposed to who knows what but we can’t afford for him to not work.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
@Louise_Belcher We got a survey from our district earlier this week. It seems that, if our schools open in any capacity, families will still have the option for remote learning. My son will be in second grade. And we have decided to keep learning from home in the fall. Unless there is a drastic change. With the school year being so close to due date, and my mother (who will watch DS when I go into labor) is high risk, we are going to play it safe. Now, a month or so after baby? He may go back to school if things are looking good. Also considering asking OB if it would be possible to schedule an induction date so we/family can quarantine before.
@Louise_Belcher are your kids in elementary school or preschool/pre-K? DS1 is supposed to start preschool this fall and I haven’t heard anything from them until last night. They emailed me to confirm what days he was attending. I’m nervous about him being around other people and kids, but I also want him in school. I think his mental health is really suffering with not being able to get out around other kids. I don’t know what their policies are, but the start date was end of August when we signed him up. I’m thinking we’ll at least keep him home until baby is born, but I’m not sure what we are going to do after.
@kdale2613 That is impressive. I am not sure I can handle remote learning for my oldest and a newborn. Me being his teacher for the last 3 mo has went very poorly. He is adverse to structured activities lead by me.
@itsmehere1212 I will have a part-time preschooler and a full time Y5’s. The preschooler we could pull (and still pay) for a bit without concern for him falling behind, but the Y5’s kid is being redshirted this year (he will already be 5) and needs to be ready for Kindergarten next year. I need to look up our start date. I am thinking it is either Aug 31 or the week before and same for H’s lectures (professor). Right at or after this baby is born we are looking at such a huge shift in risk level. It is nerve wracking.
Goodness gracious, even though I’m a germaphobe, I really do hope things have calmed down enough that kids can head back to school. Mine need the routine back desperately and truly miss their friends so much. The germs and risk DO make me nervous, but....... so did Influenza, stomach bug, Strep, etc... If they go back we will just continue to be as cautious as we were when I had our last girly during peak influenza season. Changing clothes at the door when they walk in, dirty clothes right to the wash, backpacks stay out and get sprayed, hands washed, no kissing baby other than top of head and no touching his hands. And then we hope for the best from there...
My son is going to start back at daycare next week. I’m a nervous mama and also super sad that I have to leave him, when I’ve enjoyed all my time at home with him! I have to meet daycare Tuesday to go over the new rules and procedures due to COVID.
@Louise_Belcher We are in the same boat with DD starting part-time preschool and DH (a professor too) likely going back to at least some in-person lectures in mid August. Last week we had to put in our first month's preschool payment, which they said would be for the first month regardless of when they actually end up starting. I wish they had been able to give more information about policies for the fall, but understand that the situation is still up in the air at this point. You will not get a bunch of 2-year-olds to keep masks on and socially distance, so we are just going to see what things are like at the time and decide whether to send her or pull her out. Thankfully, I will be at home anyway, but it would be really nice to give her some socialization time and me some alone time with the newborn. This COVID uncertainty is just no help for my type-A, planner personality.
Hi Mommas! Anyone out there planning an in person baby shower? I'd really prefer to gather with my family and friends. I'm from IL and we are supposed to move to phase 4 June 24th so that oks gatherings of up to 50 people. With the loosening of restrictions everywhere are you all planning on taking advantage to hold a shower or playing it safer and doing something virtual?
Hi @baebaek2020! I am a STM and even though I lost all our baby stuff in a moving truck fire and am having a boy this time, I am not planning to have a shower (I also live 11hrs away from most family/friends). My opinion, though, is that you should really base it on what you are comfortable with and let your guests decide from there. If you are ok being around a bunch of people, then I say go for the in person for as many people as are comfortable with that, but also make the opening of gifts virtual for people that decide they want to stay separate. That way you can do any games or crafts with the people that are there, but everyone can watch you open things at the same time if they want. I think so many people's opinions/beliefs about risk and safety right now really span the spectrum and it is nice to be considerate of both. Hope that helps!
@ashwortl thanks for the response! I think combing an online portion of the shower with the people present is a great idea! Thank you! I was thinking about the use of masks and trying to allow people to be within their comfort zones. You nailed it though, people do have such varying opinions on this virus. It is so difficult to manage. Thanks for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it!
@baebaek2020 Right now I’m planning on an in-person. But not until August and nothing has really been planned yet. As we get closer we will monitor numbers etc to see if we are still comfortable with it. Maybe have a virtual attendance option as well. I don’t think I’ll know for sure until later. But would love in person.
We're planning an in person baby-Q to celebrate baby, but we're also in an area that's got a very low infection rate. We were actually at 2 months without a new case until recently, and then there was one travel related case.
Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
F born June 2018 W born September 2020 #3 due November 2022
@balletnerd and @mflowers929 thanks! At this point I think we are going to plan for a shower too. We are are also looking at an Aug date and just going to let anyone comfortable attend. I also want to do it at our house like a Baby-Q, I've never heard that term before. It's cute. Good luck to both of you, I hope your showers go smooth and you get to feel the love of everyone around you. That's really my selfish reasoning for wanting this. My bridal shower was the most unreal experience of being literally surrounded by love and I selfishly want that again.
@baebaek2020 so my shower is planned for august 1st! Mainly family which Some will be traveling from another part of the state. Kinda makes me a little nervous because as of right now where I am is either in phase 1 or less. But I hope by august it’s better! We were seeing a rise in cases so the governor decided to halt any phase changes. Not sure if we will wear masks or not. Maybe just take them off for pics? Honestly idk but I really want an in person shower!
Responded in the private group as well, but putting this here for the benefit of others not in that group- I was going to do one about a month from now but because my state is getting a larger surge in cases rn, I've decided to effectively cancel any and all plans. Might do a tiny get-together with family and virtually open gifts, but that'll be the extent of it
I am having a baby shower near the end of August- with only 10 ladies in person (immediate family and just a few of my best friends) who are all people we are expecting to have in our “quarantine” at that point. Everyone else is invited to join virtually for an hour of it to see me open gifts and maybe play a game or two. I’m just excited to have anything at this point and knew I would be a nervous wreck being around too many people with covid still being so uncertain!
We’re having one as an “open house” style, with a window for people to drop by, spend a little quality, 6+ feet apart time, individually wrapped snacks, and gift opening. Not really a traditional shower, but hopefully still have some valuable time with people I care about and want to celebrate with.
I plan to ask my doctor about this at my next appointment (and I know it is likely different at different hospitals), but was looking to see if anyone had heard anything about wearing masks during labor. Are places requiring this for moms? Does anyone you know have experience with this? With DD I was burning up and DH was constantly giving me ice water on a sponge. I can't imagine having to wear one if the same happens. I definitely do not want to disrespect or risk the health of the health care team (or myself) and I am just trying to prepare myself for the possibilities! Crazy times!
@ashwortl I will be required to wear a mask throughout labor and delivery and hospital stay- if there is anyone in the room. If it’s just me and DH I can take it off.
Re: COVID/Coronavirus Thread
The thing I'm excited about is that my appointment at the children's hospital 99% will have an ultrasound so we'll get to find out the gender together if they tell us when they know! If they don't, I'm going to have them write it down, because the next day after is mine and my boyfriend's 3-year friendaversary and I already had plans for us to go get IHOP to go and eat in the car, so would be a cute way to gender reveal to him in private.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
Thank you so much for sharing. I know we are all in a rough place and I appreciate you helping put this in perspective. @readytobemama I hope everything goes well for your appointment.
Best of luck to you both. I cannot say thank you enough for the kind words, they are what I needed today.
I'm sorry you feel like your parents wouldn't be honest. It's definitely a risk. But, if you are not comfortable tell them no. Unless they can prove to you they are taking it seriously, they will just have to wait. It stinks. But it's not worth stressing over other people's feelings. This is all about you and baby. It's okay to say no.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
Likely no visitors at home either other than Grandma and maybe my BFF unless if things are drastically different between now and then. Even still I’m a pretty big germaphobe and have become quite an introvert because of it the last few years..
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
We got a survey from our district earlier this week. It seems that, if our schools open in any capacity, families will still have the option for remote learning.
My son will be in second grade. And we have decided to keep learning from home in the fall. Unless there is a drastic change. With the school year being so close to due date, and my mother (who will watch DS when I go into labor) is high risk, we are going to play it safe. Now, a month or so after baby? He may go back to school if things are looking good.
Also considering asking OB if it would be possible to schedule an induction date so we/family can quarantine before.
DS1 is supposed to start preschool this fall and I haven’t heard anything from them until last night. They emailed me to confirm what days he was attending. I’m nervous about him being around other people and kids, but I also want him in school. I think his mental health is really suffering with not being able to get out around other kids. I don’t know what their policies are, but the start date was end of August when we signed him up. I’m thinking we’ll at least keep him home until baby is born, but I’m not sure what we are going to do after.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
Thanks!!
W born September 2020
#3 due November 2022