B*tchfest Thursday—SO Edition!

keikilove

Edited to change title since there’s a wildly more popular GTKY posted today😆 and there was no Monday Bitchfest this week.

Maybe an Unpopular Opinion: Can we have a little rant-fest about our Significant Others today? Many of us seem to need it this week! 

(Yeah, yeah, even though they're wonderful and supportive most of the time...)

keikilove

Ok, I’ll go first haha! DH and I just had the nicest day & an impromptu lunch date.🥰 I asked him if he’s willing to give up anything for Lent. I told him I’m committing to be more helpful in the evenings when I usually zonk out on the couch after dinner. Soooo, tonight I did all the evening duties, did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen without him asking me to or even noticing because he was in another room. When he came back in I told him that my sister really needs my help moving out of her old house one afternoon this weekend. He WENT OFF about how mad he is that I would help my sister move but won’t help around the house. I guess our lovely afternoon conversation went in one ear and out the other. I haven’t spoken to him the rest of the night. 

asf0613

@keikilove i love that you chose to commit to something new vs giving something up!  however seems like your DH might not appreciate it as much until he sees you follow through with it.  now you MUST stick to it just to prove him wrong lol!

ive been asking DH to check in with our friend who casually committed to watching our dogs for us while we are away next week.  (side note, not an appropriate thing for me to reach out directly about, must come from him).  i need a firm commitment so i know whether or not i need to bring them to their daycare/boarding place.  now we leave in 5 days and i still dont have an answer, though ive been persistent about having him follow up for two weeks now. aggghhhhhhhhh.  

(insert comment about how wonderful and amazing DH is otherwise all the time so i almost feel bad being annoyed)

keikilove

@asf0613 Ugh, sorry you’re having to nag YH to follow up on that very important task! It stinks to feel like you have to nag. I hope YH gets on it ASAP so you can spend the next few days daydreaming about your trip! 

The thing w MH is he never gives credit for what I do to contribute to the house: I do all the grocery shopping, clean out fridge, keep it & the cabinets organized, do all the bills & budgeting, our family schedule etc. But he is a seriously obsessive clean freak who does laundry twice a day (???), runs the dishwasher twice a day, etc. I think it’s excessive & wasteful, plus there’s rarely a chore left for me to do. We do have to get in the same page w this. 

inthewoods23

DH has been whiny about the chosen airline to fly out for my cousin's wedding this weekend. Southwest is the cheapest and the only one with direct flights (except for American Airlines) from our home airport. Pretty important considering we had no idea how weather could be so direct was best in case of cancellations.

He's like waaaaahhh I don't get to choose my seat etc etc. No amount of reasoning that I set a freaking alarm for 5 minutes before the time we can start checking in so I'm in the app just waiting to hit refresh to check in was good enough for him. Too bad. As long as I'm in the B group for boarding I have always gotten a preferred seat (window).

Seriously, men are such babies about things.

kitkatz1990

TW: LC

This is probably going to sound so dumb and petty, but it just really pissed me off because HE KNOWS BETTER!! When I got back from the gym yesterday, DH and the kids were in the backyard playing (he was cutting grass). Great, awesome, except I suddenly realized DD was wearing one of her expensive boutique outfits still from school, and it is muddy AF right now because of all of the rain. I’m talking about expensive shoes, dress and tights. He knows to send her in and let her change clothes first!! Her dress ended up being ok but her tights were completely destroyed and her shoes (real leather) were soaked. I resell her clothes so stuff like this really pisses me off when all it would have taken was to let her change first. 

But I really do love him 

kitkatz1990

@keikilove our number one fight is always who does more around the house. Both of us think it’s ourselves lol. We’ve gotten a lot better about appreciating what the other is doing rather than fighting but it still happens from time to time. 

feather_heather

No matter how many times I ask him he does not rinse his dishes before putting them in the dishwasher and everyday I have to remind him that we don't have some magical dishwasher like they show on tv.

flowntheloop

My hubby is a huge procrastinator while I am all about getting things done and checking them off of our list. It drives me crazy sometimes!

bserena

We have a lot of animals... 7 to be exact. I work/have school all week long and most nights don't get home until like 9 PM. DH works 8-5 and then is home. We used to be the opposite when he was in grad school, and during that time I did most of the chores/took care of the animals 80% of the time, etc. Now that the roles are reversed and I don't have a ton of extra time, he gets mad that I am not "taking care of the animals" and doing as many chores. For example, I left the house yesterday morning at 730am, got home last night at 10 (after going and getting us food) and as soon as I walk in the door he says "the dogs need to go out... you never take them out. It is your turn.". I'm like I don't take them out as often because i'm ALWAYS at work/school to help us save up and get a house!!!! It's a small thing but it drives me crazy.

inthewoods23

@bserena ugh yes! Reminds me of the time DH complained that I didn't wake him up!! Like are you f*cking kidding me? I am not your mother and it is not my problem that you don't ever set your damn phone alarm to repeat on weekdays. The phone alarms have this option and he doesn't use it!

bserena

@inthewoods23 omg that would drive me crazy!

linzrunz

We've hardly had sex this month and when we did I had to basically beg for it.  Ok, maybe not that bad, but it's definitely been me instigating more often than not and it's frustrating me.  I've also been kicking some ass at the gym since mid-January with zero weight loss to show for it, so I think I'm just extra touchy about how "sexy" I feel right now.

inthewoods23

@linzrunz that's basically us all the time. I'm the instigator, and 99% of the time it doesn't even work because he's too tired or would rather watch some show from the couch instead of getting some stress relief from his tough work day. I got all smoochy with him the other day and nothing... It just ended. I hate that we plan doing it - and that's also 99% of the time done before we fall asleep for the night! Sex before the work day is not a thing for us.

And it's the same position over and over... Me on top. He never wants to be on top because it hurts his back. Yet there I am making it work when my legs and feet are cramping up from being on top.

I'm okay with not doing it that often, but man, can we stop being so vanilla and do something exciting for a change?

linzrunz

@inthewoods23 H and I used to be that way too and I feel like we're falling back into that!  It's so frustrating.  Two Christmases ago I was like ok, we're getting back in the sex game and we had to get each other sex related presents.  Toys really helped spice things up a bit more.  Would he be receptive to something like that? 

dobiemom11

@inthewoods23 and @linzrunz. I hear you guys!! That makes this whole TTC thing even more fun (NOT).

allthingscozy

@keikilove thank you for this thread today! So I’m overweight. I hate it I’m trying but I also have disordered eating behaviors that are seriously ingrained that I’m working on changing. Anyways my SO makes snarky mean comments about me and food a lot! He is fit but I was not tiny by any means when we got together. Yes I have gained but seriously dude your snide side comments about food or exercise do not motivate me at all. They just make me feel bad. I’ve told him this just as I’ve told him complimenting and encouraging me more would be way more effective in helping me stay motivated. He just can’t seem to get on that band wagon. He did apologize yesterday for this and did give me some praise which was nice. It is just hard to believe it is very genuine or is going to continue. 

allthingscozy

@keikilove hope he starts noticing what you contribute. I feel this though because I have the same problem. 

@asf0613 hope your DH follows up soon! 

@inthewoods23 seriously such babies sometimes 
@linzrunz hugs! Way to keep hitting the gym the weight loss self esteem struggle is real. Hope today you can look yourself in the mirror and say “I’m a goddess and he is freaking blessed to have me and this body!”

inthewoods23

@linzrunz he did not like when I finally bought myself a vibrator! I had bought 2 at once, one was a little bullet one, the other was both clit and g-spot stimulation (for by myself). I actually don't use that one much  cuz I guess his package is better feeling than the vibrator 😆 but he's warmed up a little to the bullet guy because it makes it way more intense for me during sex which he really likes.

Now if only I could stop hurting his poor ears 😂 I have to be very conscious about my volume and sometimes need to force myself to be quiet. Need to work on breathing exercises lol. It's funny that he's the complete opposite with nothing but quiet moaning and breathing.

Did I really just write all that in a public forum? 😅

emeraldduchess

@inthewoods23 damn, girl. My face turned red reading that!
My DH spoils the dog rotten and lets her get away with EVERYTHING...jumping on the couch, sleeping on our bed, etc. I hate that I have to be the bad cop with her all the time. He also has no idea how to cook anything. Like he can't even boil water to cook pasta. He has no desire to learn either and it's super frustrating that I have to plan and cook all our meals. Otherwise it would be a bowl of Frosted Flakes all day, every day. 

mindyb2019

@inthewoods23 haha 😆 you crack me up., You do you girlfriend 😁* High Five* My DH and I have this little stretchy ring that has a mini vibrator attached to it and it stretches over the base of his shaft and we use it here and there during sex too ( when I request it) 😆 and woooo weee baby that’s good times 😂 

allthingscozy

@inthewoods23 well my amazon list just got longer  

feather_heather

We have what @mindyb2019 has and can attest to it being a good time! 

allthingscozy

Me over here learning and making a shopping list 😂 sick of business sex 

keikilove

Well DAMN! Maybe sex toys is what I need to add to our currently-boring repertoire! Maybe MH wouldn’t be so bent out of shape about the dishes🤣🤣🤣

inthewoods23

@emeraldduchess amen to frosted flakes! My favorite cereal as a child! Your book water to cook pasta comment reminded me of a picture I took of DH cooking some pasta in a 2qt pot and with the pasta in there the water was up to the brim! I was like wtf are you doing??? I really wish I could find that photo but it's a few years old.

@mindyb2019 @feather_heather ooohhhhh. That sounds amazing right now 😆

mindyb2019

I am loving this discussion right now 😆 we should have a GTKY- steamy edition thread lol 

inthewoods23

@mindyb2019 YES MORE JIZZ SHUFFLE STORIES 🤣

legendairymomma

@mindyb2019 its a cock ring and I looove them! 
DH and I have ups and downs because I am really sensitive to my hormones. During fertile week I am like a cat in heat. I usually wake him up to get what I want then we go back to sleep. 🤷

mindyb2019

@inthewoods23 haha yesss 😆 

@legendairymomma ya cock rings, they are great. 😁 

whitealbum29

@inthewoods23 We totally schedule sex too, even when not TTC, there is no seduction and I'm personally fine with it but sometimes I feel bad! Like I should be more spontaneous. It's just kind of how our personalities are tho.

Our number one ongoing disagreement that both of us would fight to the death over is our coffee debate. He thinks we should make a big pot of coffee every day and then when there's like a third of a pot inevitably left over the next day because we're only 2 people, we should either reheat it or just throw it out if I don't want to reheat and make a new one (because "what's the big deal, it's equivalent to like 50 cents!"). He thinks it's better to not have to do the work of making a new pot every day while I like *fresh* coffee (like a normal human) rather than day-old and it makes me nuts to throw out food/beverages for no reason. Sorry to anyone who agrees with him on this.....if you do, you're wrong. 

keikilove

Thanks, all, for commiserating today! I needed to be able to whine to someone.😬

@inthewoods23 YH’s complaint about SWA would drive me nuts too. I fly all the time for work (& RE appointments) & Southwest is one of my preferred airlines because their seats are waaaay more comfortable than most & it’s a breeze getting on & off. Hope you got at least B boarding group to cut down on the arguing! 

@kitkatz1990 I’d be furious about the mud too!!! And thanks for relating to my rant. I soooo appreciate that I’m married to a neat freak who does tons around the house, but sometimes it’s really over the top. 

@feather_heather Yes, annoying! Most dishwashers don’t work like that! Even though MH loves to be clean, he has a weird bad habit of setting his dirty dishes on the corner of the counter instead of loading them directly into the dishwasher 4 feet away. Makes me crazy.😆

@flowntheloop Same, girl, same. I’m sorry for you!  The worst. 

@bserena Oh, he** no! Sorry, that’s just unacceptable. Get some rest! 

@linzrunz Sorry for the disappointment with the sex & the gym results! Hang in there!

@inthewoods23 More power to you! I refuse to get on top most of the time, super selfish of me.😬 Love that you kicked off this part of the convo though!😄

@allthingscozy Man, that is rough!! I am SO sorry YH makes those comments that sap your motivation. In the education world we are definitely trained that using positive reinforcement/language is immensely more effective to get the desired result than using negative or fear-based reinforcement. Maybe at least give yourself positive self-talk whenever you’re feeling self-critical? And try to believe him when he does say the good things. Hugs to you!💗

@emeraldduchess That dog situation would also make me crazy😝 

@dobiemom11 Sorry, right there with you on this NOT being fun lately. 

@whitealbum29 Eeeewwww to reheating day-old coffee! And NO to purposely making too much so that it has to be thrown out. You’re definitely right on this one!👍🏽

@mindyb2019 @legendairymomma @inthewoods23 @feather_heather Sounds like you all will be leading us on the next GTKY—Steamy Cat edition!🙀😄

inthewoods23

@keikilove I was ready when we hit the 24 hour mark! Spots B13 and 14! Booyah! DH always wants a window seat so this should be no problem.

keikilove

@inthewoods23 NICE!!! Enjoy the wedding! 

legendairymomma

@whitealbum29 i gagged when i read that. Old coffee is the worst. I worked at Sbux so we had to dump and remake coffee every hour or so. I refuse old coffee. 
Edit: words

inthewoods23

@keikilove TY! Now if only I didn't have to hear DH complain about the FABULOUS 80 DEGREE WEATHER we'll have this weekend. Our high at home tomorrow is only 26 degrees or so! BRRR 

@whitealbum29 even I know coffee will turn to sludge when left out for hours! and I don't even drink coffee that often! Yuck.