Sucks

kiekieteeh

This app and community is the worst ladies you don’t have to be dictated there are other great apps and communities when I first signed up 6 years ago this app was amazing now it’s horrible y’all want to dictate everything including how a lot of these women feel and it’s so crappy and messed up can’t tell where to post and where not to post it sucks 

keikilove

@kiekieteeh I actually felt the same way as you when I first joined.I even made some comments similar to yours.😳 But now I am a regular and I understand that those of us who have been here awhile are really the ones keeping the board going. It gets very hard to see people quickly come and go who don’t contribute anything to the group—especially when a huge number of women “pop in” every month to show random positive pregnancy tests or ask a random question about something they’re experiencing and then never post anything else ever again. They do all of this without taking the time to find out a single thing about anyone who participates regularly here. I’ve spent a year and a half here experiencing many terrible losses, but still kindly and patiently directing these random people to the right posts, to the right resources, etc, and now I’m just tired of it. It’s very simple: everyone should read the rules posted at the very top of the page—they’ve been in existence for years. If everyone follows those rules and makes an effort to interact with other members here it’s actually a very nice place to be. I myself had to learn that the hard way. I hope you will too. 

bows22

kiekieteeh said:

This app and community is the worst ladies you don’t have to be dictated there are other great apps and communities when I first signed up 6 years ago this app was amazing now it’s horrible y’all want to dictate everything including how a lot of these women feel and it’s so crappy and messed up can’t tell where to post and where not to post it sucks 

Do you realize that posts with pee sticks and asking if you are pregnant are against the site’s rules? Not our gig, sorry. 

Where did I miss a post where someone tried to dictate how someone else feels? 

bows22

Also as my friend @holly321 already told you, I’m not sure that it was any different here 6 years ago 

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12733433/n-a

BLuvsE

Living kid mentioned - don't read if it's a trigger.

I did visit other boards. If you want to go somewhere and say "my boobs hurt" and have a bunch of ladies respond that you are "most def preggers" go ahead. I appreciate this board and have participated every time I've ttc. I've miscarried several babies and am a mom so I've been here a lot over the years. These ladies are a wealth of knowledge for those of us TRYING to conceive, but you are not TRYING. You have conceived. So it doesn't matter that you don't like this board. It's not for you. If I bake a cake for my family and someone outside my family doesn't like it, I don't care. I didn't bake it for them.

If you ever find yourself actually trying to conceive, come on back. I think you'll appreciate the structure of this board then. And if you don't, move along to netmums or what to expect or whatever suits you. But dropping into a support group in real life and complaining about the way they do things would be pretty messed up. That's effectively what you just did.

gingermama29

kiekieteeh said:

This app and community is the worst ladies you don’t have to be dictated there are other great apps and communities when I first signed up 6 years ago this app was amazing now it’s horrible y’all want to dictate everything including how a lot of these women feel and it’s so crappy and messed up can’t tell where to post and where not to post it sucks 

Punctuation would make your posts actually intelligible. 

mvt2003

This app and this community apparently "sucks" yet you keep coming back... 

inthewoods23

A+ quality content to start my morning

If we are dictating each other's feelings, then you must be referring to our supportive "go ahead and feel your feels over your loss or your failed IF treatment, we are here to support you and help you through this tough time".

feather_heather

@kiekieteeh

krystrist2014

No one is forcing you to be here. If other boards are better then go enjoy those places. 

emeraldduchess

capnjackharkness

OP life so hard with her 3 living babies at home and not really needing to worry about 'trying' or RPL...  And then us being soooo mean to her for the 2 SS posts she's created. I feel SOOoooooo bad for her!!!!!  I mean, this is SUCH a toxic place!

bluetickgal

@kiekieteeh thank you so much for your two cents that literally nobody asked for! You are very much entitled to your opinion about this community, but I do not see why you felt the need to share it here and with women who have no clue who you are! I for one think this is a wonderful community of incredibly supportive women, and I am so thankful for these ladies! Yes, we have a structure here and yes we are very protective of our own...but those are just a couple of the things that I love about this place!! I have never once felt like someone here was telling me how to feel, so I don’t get where that is coming from! No, we don’t like one-off posts because it clutters up the board...so thanks for adding to that! As @keikilove stated, we have rules that are very clearly posted at the top of the board...as long as those are followed, this place can/does function as the supportive community it is intended to be! If you don’t want to follow those rules, please move along to one of the other forums that you think are so great!

stassischroeder

kiekieteeh said:

This app and community is the worst ladies you don’t have to be dictated there are other great apps and communities when I first signed up 6 years ago this app was amazing now it’s horrible y’all want to dictate everything including how a lot of these women feel and it’s so crappy and messed up can’t tell where to post and where not to post it sucks 

*lurking and can't help myself*

Well seeing as you can't figure out punctuation, I can understand how this would be a struggle. 

kpearse99

I am on the page as @keikilove with having an off first impression of this group, but you know what? That was MY mistake because when I first posted here back in October of 2018 I didn't read the rules at the top of the page. I posted my question, like I thought I could do ("because things were different the last time I was here in 2012") and I got flamed for it. But, I lurked and learned the ways and I decided to join again the following month or two after my first MC and I was welcomed with open arms. So, like others have said, if you follow the rules and bother reading the first post at the top of this board, than you'll know what to do and you'll know how to be apart of the community and you'll be accepted with open arms. I am so glad I came back to this board, because it is a safe place and these women are AMAZING and incredible and offer the greatest support to those that are new to posting and those that have been posting for months or years. 

Like @BLuvsE said.... would you walk into a "real life" support group and flame them for their rules and their structure? So why would you do it to an online support group? We are just as much a community as those groups are IRL.

Like the others have said, if you don't like THE BUMP'S rules (that right, we didn't make them up, we just follow them and make sure others do the same) than go find another app that you can post and ghost on. I am at a point where I don't want to put in effort in helping others if they aren't even going to take the time to get to know me or to help me with my TTC journey. Why should we help you when you have yet to help us?

looeeze

me refreshing the page and waiting for more comments to this totally asinine post like:

ashaislurking

I lurked this community for a little while before jumping in and read the rules posted at the top of the page, as well as the website TOU. I used to mod in a different forum similar to this, and still currently use other forums as well. There's a VERY different vibe here, and honestly there are many days that I appreciate it so much. These ladies keep me grounded. These ladies help me to know that I'm not alone. These ladies have become a huge support network for me. If you don't like this community, no one is forcing you to stay. Like you said, many other forums exist, some more regimented than this one, some less. It's up to you to decide what you want and need out of a community forum, but it's not our job to provide that for you. If we accommodated the wants of everyone on a forum it would be complete chaos. My heart breaks for these women when they experience a loss, when a transfer doesn't stick, when they need to be benched for testing, and when their TTC journey just becomes hard for them to manage. My heart also breaks for these women who have been trying for so long to finally have a THB and someone who has never posted here pops in with a fly-by BFP. No one here wants to see that. No one here needs to see that. We cheer hard when someone who has been with us for a while finally gets their BFP, but if we cheered that hard for everyone who pops in with a fly-by without even knowing who they are the important posts in the board would be lost. I hope you learn something from the comments here on this thread.

allthingscozy

Alright I’ll bite because I’m in no mood for this BS today. 

This is the most ironic thing I have seen all day. Actually 6 years ago the bump was much snarkier place. You are right it was supportive then and it continues to this day. That is where you are wrong. The bump Unlike WTE actually values relationships and true support.  That means people take the time to invest in each other, learn the forum rules set by the bump admin not by us and not blow smoke up each other’s butts just to make someone feel good.  Rather give them information to help the situation and solid advice. 

So if your flouncing go ahead and bounce your level of negativity and judgment for being pointed to the right place won’t be missed.  I’ll stay right here where I have had incredible support, where I will be called on my bs, given amazing advice (shout out to all the fertility tracking advice temping is going great!).  You will though not offer one shred of support or kindness to another rather demand it on cue. Entitlement at it finest bye Felicia. 

kiki75

*Lurking*

Apparently, much like writing, math is hard. 

Now, let’s take a look at that very community-focused posting history.

August 2018, posts in March 2019 BMB saying her EDD is March 12. After that in August 2018, she creates this post *TW* with no mention of a loss (top was cut off but it was just her DD):

EmilyLove25

I hate mushrooms and think they suck. So I don't eat them, you know?

[Deleted User]

*lurking* @kiki75 FTW
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/y8/f7r1krbfgu01.gif" alt="">

stassischroeder

*still lurking. I'm always lurking*

My favorite part of her past post: "I want a *new* baby" 
Like... was she planning on trading in the others?

Anyways, so it looks like this internet thing is here to stay. 

mindyb2019

Well... I’m not going to say much cause I’m on a warning and don’t want another one,  so I’ll behave myself today 😆 so I’ll just sit here and read... 

Love all you ladies ❤️ 

beckylookatherbump

Lurking. Oh no you don’t like me whatever will I do? 

BumpAdmin

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