All Trimester Check In Feb. 17

How far along/EDD? 11w6d / EDD 9/2 with repeat c-section planned for 8/26.
How are you feeling this week? Tired and nauseated. And a little nervous as we *TW* lost our first pregnancy at 11w5d and I passed her at 12w :-/ I wish I knew what was going on in there.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Rave: After 19 months on the waitlist, we FINALLY got a spot at a daycare on the Westside (closer to home)! We start there next month. DD's daily RT car seat time should go from 60-70 minutes to under 20 (we actually walked the mile or so Friday afternoon to drop off our paperwork). I'm SO excited to share drop off and pickup (instead of it being all me as it has for the last 7 months) - it's French immersion, includes food, is out of a house that has an awesome back yard (the outdoor space where we're at in downtown LA is a bit of a technicality), and it's cheaper than our current center to boot. And she gives priority for siblings so hopefully the timing will work our that she'll have a spot for this baby that will work for us. Also, I passed my early glucose challenge/screen (yay - but still have to watch my sugar) over the weekend, and our NIPT result just came back this morning as low risk for...whatever it is Natera tests for. Rant: Our current daycare center requires 30 days notice, to which we agreed, but we're basically paying $1400 for two weeks we won't use next month. The owner of the new daycare was willing to work with us on start date, but my priority was to get DD back in the Westside ASAP, so it's a choice. And also the NIPT report didn't report gender? I was kinda hoping to confirm that they put the right one back in, but the low risk is the more important part.
Any upcoming appointments? NT scan this Friday morning.
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? Baby #2's room will unfortunately probably continue to be filled with junk until I go out on leave. And I have no idea when we'll actually be ready to have a serious conversation about his name. We do have a crib (although need the toddler rail) and a changing table for him. So not very, but we've got some time.

31magnolia · February 2020

How far along/EDD? 11w0d, Sept. 8th

How are you feeling this week? Good. Tired but good.

Rants/Raves? Questions? Rave - Got engaged over the weekend so still on cloud 9.

Any upcoming appointments? Had my NIPT today and will have NT Scan next Tuesday.

GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? NOT. AT. ALL. We actually need to do some minor renovations upstairs first and I can see September coming up fast!

@artemis618 - The new daycare sounds amazing!!! The girl who drew my blood today, said they automatically test for gender, but don't give you the results unless you ask for them.

hanshotfirst77 · February 2020

@artemis618 Yay for passing the glucose and a good NIPT and getting the daycare spot must be such a relief!

How far along/EDD? 22 +2, 6/21
How are you feeling this week? I'm okay. Mostly just full of anxiety after the BP/Pre-e scare last week. These headaches are still pretty much daily. But I used an at home BP cuff and my BP appears to be under control so far. So just anxious for my next appt.
Rants/Raves? Questions? I'm meeting up with an old friend this weekend and we plan to go baby clothes shopping and I'm super excited. I haven't seen her in awhile so it will be great to catch up.
Any upcoming appointments? Next week OB and Fetal Echo
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? I think I'm doing pretty good. Slightly over half way there and nursery is pretty much done at this point. And all major things have been purchased. I'm mostly just concerned about how it will all affect my DS. He is almost 6 and it's just been me and him for so long. And even longer as him just being an only. He is very clingy to me as well. Lately he gets so upset if I even leave the room. So I hope he adjusts to the new baby ok. Whenever we talk about it he is excited about her but idk how it will really be when I have to split my attention between the two of them.

emmasemm · February 2020

@hanshotfirst77 wow sounds like you’re really well progressed with being ready! They had me do my BP three times a day since I think 9 weeks as they were concerned about me developing early pre-e - but so far so good!

@31magnolia congratulations!!!!!!!!! How exciting!
And we also had to do renovations - just beware they always take longer. My tip is to give a deadline a few weeks earlier than it needs to be, don’t let the workmen know the real deadline you have!!!

@artemis618 great news on the new daycare working out! That will make such a big difference!

How far along/EDD? 37+3 due 7th March, but she will come latest end of next week
How are you feeling this week? Definitely feeling more strain overall. No walking around the baby fair this weekend for me. Left leg and hip still giving me trouble, but it’s to be expected. Diastasis recti has made an appearance. But can’t really complain.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Rave - we finally got the nursery 90% done at the weekend. There are lots of finishing touches needed. But so far it feels a calm, light and peaceful space. And I’m happy with it.
Rant - OB appointment was ok for NST today, but US now shows IUGR and so I need to go to the hospital tomorrow to see if they are happy to stick with our planned date, want to bring it forward or maybe say she has to come out now... to say it was a stressful day was an understatement and I guess tomorrow will be too
Any upcoming appointments? Was at the OB today - C Section planning meeting at the hospital tomorrow, plus the referral for the IUGR hopefully tomorrow too
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? Physically now pretty prepared. In fact I’ve got supplies of most things to keep us going for a few months!!! Mentally - that’s another matter. I realized today I do need a few more days to get my head around the fact we will (fingers crossed) have a real life baby to take care of very very soon.

artemis618 · February 2020

@31magnolia Congratulations on your engagement! How did it happen & did you know it was coming (if you didn't ask

)? DH & I hadn't even talked about marriage before he proposed to me so it was quite a shock.

@hanshotfirst77 That reminds me I need to be better about checking my BP. Last pregnancy I was on nifedipine for preexisting hypertension, but two Januarys ago my OB/GYN suggested I stop taking it because my BP was normal. I have serious white coat syndrome though so we're watching pretty closely. Great job on all the baby prep! The new sibling adjustment is another reason I'm happy the daycare switch is happening now instead of closer to baby's arrival. I think it's good that he's old enough to understand, though accepting it could be adjustment.

@emmasemm Congrats on making to term! Regardless of when she arrives it sounds like you're being monitored closely and they're on top of it.

hanshotfirst77 · February 2020

@31magnolia OMG congrats girl!

@emmasemm Wow you are so close! Good luck with the appts and she will be here so soon!

mbradfo2 · February 2020

@31magnolia
Congrats!!! And I agree about the renovations - we had a small one done to put a door on the nursery (it was originally an open entry designed by the previous owner) and we just finished a much much larger renovation to put an addition on the house (office for me, playroom, add a laundry room/pantry combo). I think we started that reno when she was still under 1 year old and she's about to turn 2 next month! Our kitchen reno which we did when we first bought the house also took about 2-3 months longer than they promised. Yes, we've basically remodeled the entire house lol XD

@artemis618
I can't even imagine the cost of daycare where you live! Anything here that's over 400 a week for full time is considered extremely pricey. Our current daycare is around 220 for full time; we're on a wait list (and have been for almost a year now) for the child development center at the university where DH works and that will be 800 a month with everything included for 8-5 fulltime (for faculty). We are currently slotted to get a spot in the 3's class in 2021-2022 unless something opens up sooner. So that will be a multi year wait XD. We were planning on doing a French immersion school but I ended up not liking the curriculum (or should I say, lack thereof).

@hanshotfirst77
I don't recall - how high did your BP get? Mine was getting higher around 26-28 weeks and my doctor put me on meds at 32 weeks to avoid it getting into dangerous ranges. I was ultimately diagnosed with pre-E and delivered early at 35 weeks when the meds weren't doing the job anymore and my labwork started looking wonky. If your BP is stable and labs are fine, you have every reason to expect to go to a healthy gestation and few problems :-)

@emmasemm
Good luck! Can't believe you're already at the finish line!!!

hanshotfirst77 · February 2020

@mbradfo2 at around 20 weeks it was borderline at 132. Previously all bps were around 115ish. I also had some weird random swelling in my left leg. And constant headaches. Which is what got them most concerned. We ruled out a DVT and blood work came back normal. The next week BP was still borderline at 128. No more swelling but still the headaches. I’ve been on baby aspirin for months now. The last few days my at home readings have started out borderline in the 120s/130s but then I’d do another reading right away and it would be below 120. The other day it was normal the first time and I just stopped taking it cause I was starting to obsess. But I still have constant persistent headaches. So idk. I think the OB mostly just freaked me out with the worst case scenarios of pre e so early. But I know I’m not there yet and the borderline bp and headaches could totally be unrelated. But in any case she moved me to every 2 week appts early. So I’ll go back next week at 23 weeks. And hopefully everything is fine. But tbh the closer I get to viability the better I know I will feel.

TW

When my OB said pre e this early would land me in the hospital with the baby not making it really hit me like a ton of bricks. After 2 back to back first tri losses last year I was finally starting breathe easy and believe this pregnancy would make it. So I know I’ll feel better even if this is all just a bunch of precautions for nothing when I know they will try to do everything to save the baby.

sincethelastday · February 2020

@artemis618 - crazy situation with your DD’s day care - sounds like this new one is great though and hopefully your second will have a much smoother time getting a spot. Hope the time flies by until you’re in the second trimester as hopefully then the anxiety won’t be as high!

@31magnolia - congratulations on getting engaged!!! 🎉🎉 What was the proposal like?

@hanshotfirst77 - baby clothes shopping sounds like a lot of fun, especially with an old friend. It’s hard to not go overboard with buying clothes! Hope all goes well with your son adjusting to the new little one. My husband was 6 years old when his sister came along and he had been living with his mom (who was a single mom for most of those years), so I remember him telling me how it was a bit weird all of a sudden having a sibling. But he remembers loving helping out and feeling like an “older kid” by being the oldest. Hope your son finds his stride and enjoys being a big brother!

@emmasemm - sorry to hear about such a stressful day and potentially one tomorrow as well! I’m totally with you with having a hard time wrapping my head about having another human’s life to be responsible for very soon! Will be thinking of you tomorrow - let us know how it goes!

How far along/EDD? 37w1d March 9th
How are you feeling this week? I’m still feeling pretty good (the fact that I’m still physically feeling good almost has me worried which doesn’t make sense really). I definitely have a harder time getting out of bed and some backache, but mainly getting some discomfort from this little dude kicking me in the ribs 😅.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Kind of a silly rave, but DH was able to make my OB appointment today. He usually isn’t able to make it due to his work schedule and I don’t mind going by myself, but it was nice having some company this time around. Also tested negative for group b strep, so happy about that.
Any upcoming appointments? OB appointment next week.
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? Oi, where do I begin? Physically when it comes to having things in place for baby, I feel very prepared. Nursery is done, washed all of his stuff, cleaned out the whole fridge and pantry, have some frozen meals done, bought a bunch of post-partum items. But mentally and emotionally, I feel like it’s another picture. When someone asks me if I’m excited, I want to respond that I’m more terrified than anything. I’m definitely excited to hold him and just have my baby, but there is a lot of worry and fear of the unknown mixed in with that excitement. I’m just worried I’m not going to do well at this whole “mom thing.” That I’m going to regret it. Anyways, I could go on and on, but the simple answer is I’m feeling all over the place!

mbradfo2 · February 2020

@hanshotfirst77
I'm the member of a pre-E support group and -plenty- of ladies have had their babies pre-30 weeks and have everything be fine ultimately. There's the lengthy NICU stay, the ups and downs of that, but most babies catch up by 2 years and you wouldn't even be able to the guess. One thing someone recommended was to learn about the NICU's in your area and see what the earliest age they'll take a baby -- some will even taken 22 or 23 weekers. That way if things go south, you have the knowledge to make the best choice for your little one. Despite how anxiety-provoking everything is, you're in the best possible position -- you're being monitored and if anything happens, your doctors will be on top of it. I think your OB was totally insensitive, btw. Poor bedside manner.

Also the top number of the BP is very sensitive to any manner of things - your anxiety level, your positioning, etc. Even pregnancy can just make that increase due to increased fluid and blood levels. My doctors focused on the bottom number more.

@artemis618
My DH confessed that he knew he was going to marry me from the moment we met -- in his words, he didn't 'want another guy snatching me up'. I even picked out my engagement ring lol In the end, it wasn't a very dramatic or romantic proposal but we'll be married 12 years this fall (we married right out of college) so I guess it worked for us!

31magnolia · February 2020

Thanks all! @mbradfo2 @artemis618 @sincethelastday - haha. We knew we were getting married within 3 months of dating. It just felt so right. Now grant it, I'm sure/know we've wanted to kill each other plenty of times since then (been together 2.5 years) but we know we belong together. And we went ring shopping together, so I knew what I was getting. He was too worried about getting me something I didn't like to do it on his own. Still the proposal was great. He took me to where we had our first date, said some beautiful things that had me bawling and then got down on knee. Lol. I'm getting teary eyed just talking about it again. Lol.

@emmasemm and @mbradfo2 - That's what scares me about the renovation. I know it always takes longer and on top of that I get stressed because I'm really picky. We need to get started soon, but that requires me to de-clutter!

And I have NO desire to do so right now.

@sincethelastday - aww that's great YH got to go your OB appointment with you.

@emmasemm - yay on the nursery! did you go with neutral colors? I'm finding that's what I'm drawn to.

@hanshotfirst77 - aww, I'm sure you're little man is just going to absolutely adore his baby sister!

QUESTION: My SO wants to come with me for the NT Scan, but is it really something that he can sit in on? Also, do you know the results right then or do you have to wait?

hanshotfirst77 · February 2020

@mbradfo2 That's interesting about the numbers. The bottom number has consistently been normal , its the top that has been borderline high. I'm going to bring that up to my OB next week. And on the plus side, the hospital I am delivering at has a level III NICU and I just read on their website they have cared for as young as 23 weekers so that gives me some hope. My BP top number did spike again last night with some minor foot swelling but I had just had a high sodium meal and did some exercise so I am hoping it was those factors and not something more serious. Swelling and BP went down by morning.

@31magnolia Definitely let him come to the NT scan. It's pretty much like a normal U/S but they focus on the nuchal translucency in baby's neck. With my DS, my H at the time came to that appt and the A/S, all others I did on my own. But I felt like those were the really important ones and for him I think it was big cause baby actually looks like a baby so it is more real to them. This time I did NT alone, but my mom came to the A/S. It probably varies by practice, But I knew the results that day. Sometimes the techs needs to send the info to the doctor first. But in my experience they were able to give you a general yes everything look good.

31magnolia · February 2020

Thanks @hanshotfirst77!

bluguitarhannah · February 2020

How far along/EDD? 21, 7/1
How are you feeling this week? Not bad heartburn continues. Headaches have been more manageable with the magnesium.
Rants/Raves? Questions? More a comment, I wish I was feeling the baby more except when I lay down at night. Feel fat vs. bumpish and ready for it just to be obvious I'm pregnant so the pressure to tell people goes down.
Any upcoming appointments? Two in March with OB and Advanced Fetal specialist
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? This varies wildly dependng on day. We have a ton to buy. Shower is easter weekend. I have clothes and a crib on its way. Car seat and diaper bag arrived as gifts last week.

artemis618 · February 2020

@mbradfo2 Well, we're currently at a Bright Horizons and the $2851/month for an infant/toddler spot is definitely on the higher side (though still cheaper than a nanny considering paid vacation, bonuses, paying for extra classes, etc.) - but they actually had a spot for us (unlike places closer to home) and being 4 blocks from my office it was good to be able to just run up and nurse instead of pumping (which doesn't work super well for me as I'm prone to clogs even with tons of lecithin). I wanted to get DD closer to home to stop the awful commuting madness as soon as she was day weaned, but we've been waiting all this time. We're on a waitlist at another local center (3 locations) closer to home for this kiddo and their infant rate is under $2,100 (plus like $1200 enrollment, annual materials fee). The place from which we got our $500 deposit back (Spanish & Mandarin Montessori) would have "only" (relatively, I suppose) been $1850/month, and our new place is $475/week (including food for better or worse, I guess monthly that's $2058?). So still better than where we're at now! There are definitely other home-based family daycares for closer to $1200-$1400/month - but infant spots as always are scarce and depends on how picky you are

(if you want a language component, pedagogy preference, etc.). My dream is to get DD into the Lycée up the street from us because it's preschool-12 just to be done with applications (assuming it is/continues to be a good fit, yada yada). I worked at USC before my current job and I do remember the wait for the university childcare center (also run by Bright Horizons) was ridiculously long but I heard really good things about it and that rate sounds great.

That's super sweet that your DH knew that he was going to marry you right away. DH and I met online and he claims he canceled the rest of his scheduled dates after meeting me. In retrospect, it was really stupid of me to be so chicken sh!t and not bring up marriage considering I didn't meet him till I was 37 and potentially wasting valuable time, but I lucked out. He actually proposed to me with a ruby (because I like red things) for which he shopped by walking into jewelry stores and announcing that he was looking for a ring that his girlfriend would return the following week. I had to break to him that I drank the kool aid and indeed wanted a diamond, so we incorporated rubies into the engagement and wedding bands. But because we had it made, I didn't have a ring for half of our engagement.

All this talk of BP and pre-e is making me a little nervous. I am supposed to start low dose aspirin today (12w), but I'd almost feel more comfortable if I was already on BP medicine. I still need to do my 24 hr urine test but dr said I could wait till I was less nauseated and hydrating normally again.

@31magnolia. I agree, NT scan (or any scan) can help make it more real. Plus after graduating from RE with weekly scans (when there's not even much to see, or be done, really), it feels like scans are few and far between with OB. The MFM did DD's and will do this one's NT scan, and last time she just told us what she saw more or less as she was doing it.

emmasemm · February 2020

@hanshotfirst77 I can echo what @mbradfo2 said - the BP was a combination of both measurements that they watch for. Mine has been consistently between 135-150 over 95-105. I do it 3 times a day and always have to be sitting for minimum 5 minutes before quietly - means no talking (if I talk I can get it to 180!). Outside of pregnancy my normal is 110/70.

What they explained to me was it is the BP in combination with the other factors - I’ve done weekly urine tests to make sure no proteins in there. Plus they take blood at each appointment and check liver and kidney function.
I never had any liver or kidney or upper right gastric pain (also signs).
And my headaches were “only” on the top of my head, not right above my eyes or down near my jugular. Plus I saw no floaters. And had no all day swelling.

I agree the OB was wrong to scare you like she did. Yes, tell you what to watch out for and make sure you understand how important it is to act if you see a combination of symptoms or worsening, but not talk about early delivery just with a systolic of 130...
I was told to keep salt down and fluids up (which might seem counter intuitive if you have swelling) and take it a bit easier.

@31magnolia yes we have gone with neutral colors. Walls are the same color as our bedroom - difficult to describe but a creamy/greyish kind of hue. It’s light but calming. We have oak floors so chose furniture which is white with oak trims. And rugs, blankets, accessories are pretty much all grey. I’m finding it a very calm space to be in so far.

Oh and DH has tried to be there for as many US as possible. He couldn’t make all (as we’ve had a lot) but definitely for the NT scan and the anatomy scan. We were not told our gender at the NT scan as it’s not allowed here before 14 weeks but the Dr did linger on the genitals long enough for us to make it out for ourselves with a good degree of certainty.

@sincethelastday sounds like we’re in a similar space emotionally! DH sometimes calms me and sometimes freaks me out more as he is super confident we will manage it all just fine. Then again with our “less than 0.01% chance of having a baby” diagnosis he was also super confident we would find a way...

AFM
Thanks all for your good wishes for our appointment today - after a 6 hour visit Ferrari finally turned enough for the overall OBGYN head of the hospital (they called in the big guns!) who got better measurements and confirmed no IUGR and we can stay with the plan to deliver her next week. You can I’m sure imagine the relief!!!

Of course if I don’t feel right at any time I can go in and they will check if they need to act faster and if I say I want her out they will do it. Which is reassuring to have as backup - but I don’t plan to use it unless there is a medical need. I have to say for the pre-birth support I’m really happy we chose this hospital.

mbradfo2 · February 2020

@31magnolia
Absolutely yes he can go! He can go to every appointment if he wishes XD DH only went to 2 scans at the RE (I had 4 there), the one at the intake at the OB at 12 weeks and then the anatomy scan at 20 weeks. It's very hard for him to make appts since his job is very demanding and he has long hours so my mom came along to all of the other appointments. But that was true of our IVF cycle as whole.

@artemis618
One I looked at and liked was at 400 a week but you could pay 19k in full for summer camp and the two regular fall/winter/spring. They had great amenities and extracurricular offerings (dance, sports, etc - yes for toddlers and preschoolers!), also provided all the supplies and food. However I really disliked their stance on education -- more of a traditional school format with workbooks and a focus on "creating a student" rather than my preferred method of learning through play for toddlers. They only got art class twice a week and free play was not on the schedule at all!

@emmasemm
So glad to hear things are good and you can stick to your plan!

wildrainbow · February 2020

How far along/EDD? 14+3/ Aug 16
How are you feeling this week? Heartburn is killin me! I am tired too, but that is mostly because ds2 has not been sleeping.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Rant See above where ds2 hasnt been sleepin. I think he's having nightmares, which sucks. I'm averaging about 3 hrs of sleep a night.
Any upcoming appointments? The 25th, regular OB. I am betting I will have to pay a visit to the MFM soon to check in with them about managing Cholestasis.
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? I don't know. We got rid of all our baby stuff since we were done, so we are basically starting over from scratch for baby number 3, lol.

hanshotfirst77 · February 2020

@emmasemm As always you are a wealth of knowledge! Thank you! And so glad to hear you are doing well and on track for next week!

akak23 · February 2020

Hi everyone! Sorry to have been out of the loop the past few weeks, things are extra crazy. I’ve been reading your posts, but just haven’t been able to respond timely.

How far along/EDD? 34+5 - 3/27 - but will be induced between 1-2 weeks early due to BP
How are you feeling this week? Emotionally and physically exhausted. I feel like I can’t take much more, so next week will be my last week of work before baby.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Rant and I guess rave? I was diagnosed with gestational Graves’ disease (meaning I have no thyroid issues outside of pregnancy) and this happens in only .2% of pregnancies. So this whole pregnancy every doctor and nurse I talk to is like wow I’ve never seen this before. Well I got my TSI antibody test back on Monday and I’m at 30x the normal limit and anything 3-5x higher is considered severe. So now I’m finally going to meet with a pediatric endocrinologist and other specialists who will be at my delivery since the risk to me and baby will be so high. The rave comes in bc I’ve been asking for my OB to get more aggressive and serious about my delivery planning for weeks now and he finally is (maternal And fetal mortality are real risks). I can’t wait to finally meet with and talk to an expert who actually has experience with my unique issue.
Any upcoming appointments? See above lol.
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? We’re moving next Friday, so I hope to have the nursery done the first week of March and then I’ll most likely be induced the following Friday. Mentally? Can’t freaking wait to be a momma. I still have a hard time believing it is going to come true for me.

@31magnolia congrats on your engagement!

cashewchicken · February 2020

How far along/EDD? 15+3/Aug 8
How are you feeling this week? Ok. I think I’m finally recovering from my cold. Ugh
Rants/Raves? Questions? The baby is breech position but I’m still 15 weeks so I’m hoping she will flip down from now until 29 weeks. If she doesn’t, it’s alright, c-section it is! And I just told my boss about my pregnancy so whew!
Any upcoming appointments? Diabetes counseling next week.
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? Not prepared at all. Before this baby comes we need to get our son’s room ready. He’s 22 months old and he still doesn’t have a room! But we already have all the furniture for the baby (crib and changing tables that my son hasn’t used since 7 months old) so that’s a start!

cashewchicken · February 2020

@artemis618 That sounds like an awesome daycare! I’m jealous that your new daycare provides food for your daughter. My son goes to a Bright Horizons too and we need to provide lunch and 5 o’clock snacks every day. It’s such a headache deciding on what to pack. He’s a picky eater so lately he has just been rotating through 4 meals (meatballs, roast chicken, roast duck and salmon). Need to expand his palate but ugh.

@31magnolia Congrats on your engagement! As for NT, your SO can totally sit in on it, my husband did with our first. Whether you get your results there or not depends on who is performing the U/S and if not done by a physician, when the results are reviewed by a physician. For our son’s NT scan, the U/S was performed by a technician so she could not say anything about the results of the NT. A physician reviewed it immediately after and that’s when we found out the results of the screen.

@hanshotfirst77 Hope your BP is back down to normal and your headache goes away.
@emmasemm You're almost there! And congrats on no IUGR!
@mbradfo2 Wow. The daycare in your area is so cheap. Mine is the same as what @artemis618 pays, but we're lucky that DH's workplace subsidizes 25% of it. But still, it's a huge chunk of my paycheck. But that's how much most daycare around here charges, licensed ones anyway. A lot of couples we know save money by asking their parents to look after their kids.
@sincethelastday You're almost there too! I'm the same, I was nervous and terrified about becoming a mom. The whole infertility thing made me so afraid that something would go wrong. I have to confess, I did want the baby and I did everything I could to stay healthy during pregnancy (I had GD and watched what I ate the whole 9 months), but I'm not sure if I was in love with the baby while in utero, or even after birth. After he came, I felt overwhelmed, nervous that I would somehow damage him, but you know, I just tried my best. He started growing on me slowly and a month or so after birth, I was totally in love.
@bluguitarhannah Is this your first pregnancy? I read somewhere that with first pregnancy, you don't feel the baby move until much later. So maybe that has to do with it? Yay on carseat! that's the most important thing you need to get!
@wildrainbow Sorry for the heartburn and I'm sorry that your son is having nightmares! My son is too, I thought it was funny (well, not for him) that in one of his nightmares, he said "no no, mama, no no" as he waved his hand no and cried. Am I being mean to him in his sleep? Did I turn off the TV while Sesame Street was on? lol
@akak23 Hope everything works out for you and it's great that you have a team to monitor your pregnancy and delivery.

wifeinraleigh28 · February 2020

@artemis618 That's great about the new daycare and less commute time! I'm not sure what I'd do if DD's preschool wasn't so close to our house. That convenience really makes a difference in day to day life.

@31magnolia CONGRATS!!! Will you wait until after baby to get married?

@hanshotfirst77 I have similar fears about my DD adjusting to a new baby. She's much younger than your son (will be 3 in May) but is showing signs of anxiety about it even though she also shows a lot of signs of excitement. She's gotten more clingy as it gets closer to my due date and brings up the baby a lot. I just don't want her to go through a hard adjustment but I'm sure that's inevitable. I'm really hoping that after she adjusts she'll love having a little brother!

@emmasemm You're almost there! The IUGR sounds stressful. Fingers crossed everything goes according to plan!

@sincethelastday I think most of us share in your mixed emotions. I'm super excited to have my baby here but at the same time I'm just scared of the transition my family is about to undergo. I'm worried how it'll affect DD mostly. When she was born it was all consuming and I'm definitely nervous about going through that again and also how me being so consumed by a baby's needs is going to affect me as her mom. Knowing myself I'm going to try REALLY hard to do it all and that will probably take a serious toll on me. But I also know that once he's here we can finally figure all that out together so I'm looking forward to that (rather than just dealing with the anticipation).

@wildrainbow Ugh that sounds tough about the nightmares. Especially not getting enough sleep while pregnant. I hope it passes for him soon! Does he sleep with a night light or anything? That really helps my daughter.

@akak23 Wow girl that sounds so scary! Good for you for advocating for yourself and for getting all those specialists on board. What are they going to do to prevent any serious problems from happening during delivery? And what are the specific risks to you? Thinking of you and praying all goes according to plan!

How far along/EDD? 33+5, 4/4 but c-section scheduled 3/30
How are you feeling this week? I've had a little more energy this week (and a lighter load at work) so I've been productive at home getting things ready.
Rants/Raves? Questions? Honestly I'm just feeling anxious about the unknown. Anxious about how much longer I actually have, about if I'll go into labor before my scheduled c-section and if so how early, anxious about the big adjustment coming up in our lives. I'm glad that DD is at an age now where she can communicate better and better every day, so I'm hoping that will make the transition a little easier if she can tell us how she's feeling and what she needs. Lately she's been needing a LOT of extra hugs and back rubs throughout the day and especially at bed time. She's definitely a physical touch person like me
Any upcoming appointments? My first NST for this pregnancy is in the morning. NST + OB next week.
GTKY: How prepared are you for adding a baby to your family? I was looking at the to-do list in my planner yesterday and it felt really good to see most things checked off now at this point. The nursery is mostly done, just waiting on a few items that I'll hopefully either get at my shower next weekend or that we'll purchase with our registry completion. Still have some of our baby things to get out of storage. My hospital bag is mostly packed aside from the few things I need to throw in last minute (things I use daily). So I feel like I'm in a good place. I'm also just really tired of being pregnant and excited to meet the little guy!

sincethelastday · February 2020

Thanks, @cashewchicken and @wifeinraleigh28, for the support in making me feel like I’m not insane for the way I’m feeling. I think it’s the fact too that I only have three more days of work and then I’m done and most likely will not be coming back due to my husband’s fellowship next year which is in another province. It feels like I’m going to be losing a big piece of my identity (as a social worker) and gaining a totally new one that I’m worrying how I’ll adapt to. Thank goodness for boards like these - they are a total life saver!! 💛

mbradfo2 · February 2020

@sincethelastday
If doing the social work remains important to you (everything will change, even your feelings about your career), I'm sure you'll be able to get back into that or a related field when baby is a little bigger. My daughter started preschool at around 18 months and she absolutely LOVES it -- and I love being able to go back into the office

I'm the type of personality that has to stay busy or else I get bored very quickly, so staying at home full time was never really something I ended up wanting or liking. And I feel like she learns a lot at her school, especially social skills with the other kids. Just go with the flow of things and don't be afraid to say or do what you need to for yourself as well. Baby is important, but you are important too. If you can, get out every day once you're home with the baby, even if it's just to pick up something at the store. And once you get the okay, go on walks to the park/etc with your little one. Cabin fever is a real thing and combining that with the total identity change you'll be undergoing is not fun!

artemis618 · February 2020

@cashewchicken Mmm...roast duck. At least those sound like healthy meals - all DD reliably eats these days is little quiche muffins

. Do you send the meals in a thermos? Because we have to leave the house so early to reduce traffic, we didn't feel comfortable having warm food sitting for more than ~4 hours and we aren't that creative about things she can eat cold. I'm sure we'll be back to Bright Horizons (and they're more likely to have spots downtown than closer to home) for backup care (just this morning learned that the new daycare is taking 25 paid days off instead of 20 going forward - of course this is in addition to holidays and a staff in service day). We're a bit particular about DD's carb intake and are trying to avoid giving her anything with added sugar till she's two, but I suppose we have to let go some eventually.

@wifeinraleigh28 I'm really excited about daycare being close to home. Downtown worked great while I was nursing, but the commuting with her felt kind of pointless once DD was day weaned. Unfortunately we didn't even get a spot closer to home till now (and got on waitlists when I was 4 months pregnant with DD - she's 14 months now).

cashewchicken · February 2020

@sincethelastday You are definitely not alone in feeling a bit of identity crisis while going through motherhood. I know a lot of women who had to put their career on hold while building a family. For many though, it was really just a hold and as kids grew older, they were able to build their career. At least you already know what you love to do, so I’m sure you can jump right back in when you feel it’s the right time for you and your family. I also ended up ‘pausing’ my career while going through infertility and motherhood, but I tell myself that I have 20+ years left to do something about my career. If this pregnancy is successful, this will be my last pregnancy so I will be thinking about my career more in the next year or two. @artemis618 Quiche muffin sounds delicious!! Do you make it yourself? I shouldn’t complain about my son’s eating habits since it could be worse (like eating only white rice), but really those 4 proteins are what he will reliably eat, which makes going out difficult. I wish he would occasionally eat cheese pizza or grilled cheese which makes going out to kid-friendly places easy. We do pack his lunch in a thermos but by the time he eats his food, the food’s not hot or warm. He hasn’t gotten sick from it yet though. It’s good that you are trying to limit sugary foods. We have given in and have given our son cookies and sugary cereal. He discovered my secret stash of chocolate cheerios

We mix it with toasted Cheerios so that at least he’s not eating straight up sugary cereal only. We also don’t give him juice, but that’s only because he LOVES fruit and he eats so much of it everyday.

31magnolia · February 2020

@wifeinraleigh28 - we are definitely waiting until after the baby is born. The baby, although is a joyous journey, is stressful enough. I have no plans to add wedding planning on top of it. Lol. Plus this gives me time to get back in shape.

You all are making me nervous about the price of daycare! My job has one onsite so I'm hoping it's somewhat reasonably priced.
And I'm so ready to take a pause or full stop in my career soon. BUT I don't love what I do and I've been doing it for 20 years. I don't think I want to be a full time stay at home mom, but I do want to get out of corporate America.

artemis618 · February 2020

@cashewchicken DH actually makes little quiches for us - generally variations on these: https://www.skinnytaste.com/petite-crust-less-quiche/ He makes mini-muffin-sized ones for DD and regular muffin-sized ones for me

I think I would rather have DD just eat food from regular menus instead of kids menus - although I guess that might mean sharing my food (which I don't do well!). I haven't tried chocolate cherrios - but they don't exactly sound diabetes-counselor-approved? I think I missed why you have diabetes counseling?

@31magnolia I would totally take a break, but I don't think I'd be able to find this job with these benefits, super flexible supervisor, and very regular hours again. I actually didn't go back to work till DD was almost 7 months old last time because my supervisor is awesome (some some PTO, unpaid time). I kind of wished I'd gone back maybe a month earlier because it was a nice change of pace for my brain. This time I'll probably wait till baby's 6 months old, but it may a little bit depend on the daycare situation (in a pinch, my mom could probably watch him, but I don't think I could squeeze more than a month out of my parents because, as they put it, [they] have lives

). Have you gotten on the waitlist for your on-site daycare? I learned my lesson from waiting till I was 4 months pregnant (too late) with DD. Hopefully it's not too crazy where you are.

cashewchicken · February 2020

@artemis618 It’d be great if my son is adventurous enough that he eats anything from regular menu rather than kids menu. But the problem is, he’s picky and he only eats four types of protein I’ve mentioned in the previous post, and sometimes, he’s not in the mood for them either. So to avoid wasting food, DH and I are forced to order food that DS will likely eat for ourselves and share. It’s super frustrating to not be able to eat what I want to eat! lol. Like going to a museum cafeteria and I see a poke bowl that sounds so good, but I have to get a plate of rotisserie chicken instead. If he loved foods most kids love, then I can just order kids meal for him and get a dish I really crave for myself.

I have diabetes counseling because I’m pre-diabetic and that becomes gestational diabetes from the moment of implantation. So I see a diabetes counselor monitor my BG and track my food. It’s not easy. My pre-pregnancy BMI is low (underweight), so I’m always told to eat, eat, eat to gain as much weight as possible. It’s not easy to do that while watching carbs! And I can’t eat the recommended amount of carbs (175g) without going over the recommended BG level and or using insulin, which makes meal planning extremely difficult. And yeah, chocolate cereal is not ideal but I don’t eat that for breakfast. That’s my snack that I indulge occasionally.

artemis618 · February 2020

@cashewchicken Ah, got it about your DS's dietary preferences. We're not there yet with DD, as we're also pretty picky about sodium, so tend to pack food for her - but sadly we don't get out all that much these days

Your doctor must be pretty conservative? My a1c was 5.8 (pre-diabetic) almost two years ago (the day after DD's transfer), and my OB just requested another a1c with first tri bloodwork and it rather frustratingly came back the same. Did you have/do the same with DS as you are doing for this pregnancy? I just had early glucose challenge tests, then he didn't make me do anything other than another glucose challenge at 24 weeks (also the plan this time). I tend to at least watch my sugar & unrefined carbs anyway (okay I admit it was a little of a free for all when I was breastfeeding as I was hoarding milk to wean early), but with first tri nausea carbs are all I want to eat :-/. I know I should watch it though. One of my friends (a professional belly dancer!) had GD and only gained 9 lbs during her pregnancy (delivered at the end of last month and had her first glorious bagel last weekend).

cashewchicken · February 2020

@31magnolia Sorry that you don’t love your job, but if you’ve been doing it for 20 years, at least you have your routine? Because once you have the baby and are sleep deprived, it is nice to have a job that’s predictable and not too challenging. That was the case for me. I bf my son every 3 hours until 15 months old and was so sleep deprived. It was the first time I appreciated my boring job that I could do in my sleep. Haha. Speaking of daycare, you should get yourself on waitlist ASAP. Most daycare spots open up in August/September when older kids move up to kindergarten. The rest of the year there aren’t too many spots available.

@artemis618 My pre-diabetes is a bit more advanced than yours. I was diagnosed when I was going through a bunch of fertility bloodwork with my first RE. A1C was 6.2, Fasting bg was 100 or so, so I had my glucose challenge test which I failed. Which confirmed my diagnosis. My endocrinologist and my OB didn’t bother with glucose challenge test once I became pregnant since they knew that I would fail anyway. My A1C can get down to 5.7 with a strict low carb diet and rigorous exercise, but that lifestyle is just not sustainable with pregnancy, not to mention low carb diet isn’t recommended for pregnancy (there hasn’t been a ton of study done on safety of low carb diet during pregnancy). So I see a dietitian, MFM doctor and my endocrinologist to make sure that I’m consuming the right amount of carbs and taking the right dose of insulin so that my bg is at the optimal level for me and the baby.

mbradfo2 · February 2020

@31magnolia
After so much struggle and loss, I couldn't bring myself to put myself on preschool waitlists when I was pregnant. As a result, we're in a school I like but don't -love- for right now until she's 3 when our first choice should have a slot for her in the 3's program. Although I'm not even sure getting on the list when I was pregnant would have helped much -- it's a multi-year wait list according to the director so even if I got on when I was pregnant or first delivered, I still would have had a wait :x

31magnolia · February 2020

@cashewchicken - that is a very good point! I have a lot of leeway with my job, so that's also a bright side. I just have to remind myself to not let people aggravate me at work. lol. I also never thought about there being a waitlist, so I guess I'll go visit the daycare center this week. Problem is I need to do it where no one else from my job can see me. I'm not telling anyone at work for as long as possible.

@mbradfo2 - A three year waitlist?! Wow. I guess that means there just aren't enough really good schools. I keep going back and forth of not wanting to do too much and doing too little. I get the results of NIPT and NT Scan this week so maybe I'll feel a lot better in doing baby things after that (while still being cautious).

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