Weekly Randoms | Feb 17-23

m6agua

  

jhysmath

@pirateduck moving this over here...I thought most states had switched to civil rights day,  I didn't realize it was just us and Arizona. 

mokay19

Work has been INSANELY busy for me and work blocked TB again so I’m back to mostly being a creep on mobile. 

Finally had a pretty relaxing weekend and met some hopefully new friends for breakfast yesterday and it was a blast! Back to the chaos of the work week ☹️

shamrocandroll

@jhysmath I live in NH and haven't heard it called civil rights day either.  But makes sense!

pirateduck

@jhysmath I honestly thought it was more of a split than it is.  I was surprised when I read only 2 states call it Civil Rights Day!

bender29

I’ve heard of it referred to as Civil Rights Day here in MN, but it’s definitely still officially Martin Luther King Day

rox7777

Somebody keep me out of the baby section of every store ever while I’m nesting. I’ve come home with 10 more outfits in the last 5 days. Make me stop. 

miss_lynn9

I really want to buy clothes but MH said some of his co-workers offered to give us clothes so I'm waiting for that to see what we get. He keeps telling me he will put my in contact with their wives so I can get them but I don't understand why. I don't feel like making small talk with a stranger to get some clothes when his co-worker can just bring it to him at work. 

TattoosandLace

That makes sense....I have just never heard it called that. Apparently, our courthouse didn’t used to get it off. A couple commissioner boards ago they didn’t approve the day off even though it was a federal holiday then too. So that’s awkward. 

I have officially used all of the federal Monday holidays that will happen before Baby gets here. I have to actually start using sick leave for doctors appointments now. Whomp. 

ETA: DD1 tested positive for influenza B today, so I’m using two days this week for sure to stay home with her and I secretly resent my husband for it since that means two days shorter on maternity leave for me. I know he can’t help it. He literally has enough sick leave left for the school year for labor/delivery. It’s just been a rough school year with the girls starting daycare/preschool and me being gone a lot for work trainings. 

mamaj1220

I am over today. I did the 1 hour glucose screening so we shall see how it went but I also *TW found out a former student passed away yesterday after an accident End TW* so I am 150% done now.

shamrocandroll

@mamaj1220 That's awful. I am so sorry! 

mamaj1220

thanks @shamrocandroll I feel horrible for his family and selfish for being this sad. 

soprano19

@mamaj1220 I’m so sorry. Definitely don’t feel guilty for being sad... students have an impact on us, and untimely deaths are horrible no matter what.

queenklau

@mamaj1220, so sorry to hear about your student. Thinking of his/her family!

TattoosandLace

@mamaj1220 so sorry to hear that!

bananapanda

@mamaj1220 so sorry to hear that. I don’t think your being sad is selfish. 

@jess09lynn that sounds like a pain. I would usually rather buy new than have to make small talk with people but I can be kind of antisocial lol 

@TattoosandLace Hope your DD is feeling better soon and you can stay healthy! It stinks to have to use your time off for sick kids, but I know the feeling! 

drkoyya

I also never heard of Civil Rights day. Happy to say I learned something today

@mamaj1220 I'm sorry to hear about your student, that's heartbreaking. Not selfish at all. Yesterday, my DH's great-grandmother died and I feel guilty that I don't feel sad. She lived into her late 90s and had a long life. Someone dying at a young age as a result of an accident is tragic. My heart goes out to you and their family. 

Two randoms. 1- Related to DH's great-grandmother passing, his cousin had his first child yesterday. The mother actually give birth on her due date. This cousin also shares the same great-grandmother so it's poetic that one life began and another one ended on the same day. 
2- Totally forgot to share in here! Some of you may recall me complaining about not getting paid time off through FMLA because I've been at my job for less than a year. I was originally irritated because I knew my University had a "30-day paid parental leave" policy but I was not aware of any restrictions. Based on that I planned on working until I went into labor. Well, last week I spoke with HR again. Same woman that I originally contacted about parental leave. This time around she decided to mention that I am eligible for the 30-day paid parental leave because "it is a University policy separate from FMLA". FANTASTIC-- just wished she mentioned this the first time we spoke and I wouldn't have planned on working into May. Now I'm working on getting my class covered and rescheduling some other obligations so that I can leave 2 weeks before my EDD. 

mamaqdubu

@mamaj1220 I’m so sorry to hear that about your student 😓

My random is that even though I have another baby on the way I’m so sad about my other kiddos growing up. I was rubbing DS2’s back tonight (He’s 27 months) and before walking away I said “goodnight baby I love you” and he looked up and said “mom, I’m not baby” 😭😭😭😭 it made me cry. It happens so freaking fast. 

sunshinesea22

@mamaj1220 So sorry for the sad news
@TattoosandLace Hope your daughter feel better quickly! The flu is rampant this year 
@drkoyya Excellent news about your paid family leave! FMLA is really just a law that says you can’t be fired for taking time off (paid or unpaid, up to a year) to care for a family member (new baby), as long as you fill out the appropriate paperwork. So as long as your university isn’t an asshole, so to speak, it shouldn’t be a big deal that you don’t qualify for that job protection. 

@mamaqdubu Aww no!! Why do they have to grow up?!

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pourmeanothermocktail

@mamaj1220 I'm so sorry to hear, that's awful.

@TattoosandLace Ick. Good luck and I hope you avoid it!

@drkoyya That's really cool regarding the baby and great-grandma. Very poetic. 

I miss wine today. That is all. I'm not adverse to a bit here or there in pregnancy, but we don't have any in the house right now and I'm not just going to buy it while pregnant. 

sunshinesea22

I didn’t think my comment in the one-off post was that mean, more of a general question to the world. Do people actually think this group is their personal mom google? Because it’s not. And if they treat it as such they deserve to be questioned about it and if you can’t handle that simple question, you don’t belong here
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catem07

@sunshinesea22 I didn't see it before the dirty delete. What was her question?

rachelg777

@mamaqdubu ahhh queue the water works for real. I've been thinking about this a lot lately too, it happens soooo fast!

@rox7777 Same. Well more online. And I have no excuse because I'm having a second boy.... Okay well my excuse is that for DS1 I didn't buy any of his infant clothes because we were on a tighter budget and were gifted enough (but I don't like most of them   ). 

@mamaj1220 I'm so sorry to hear about your student - so heartbreaking. 

jrouge12

@sunshinesea22 I didn't see it as mean. So many questions that get asked on TB (or the other forums I lurk) could be answered through a simple search. People are lazy? @catem07 She wanted double stroller recommendations (a seat for a younger and older sibling). Brought up one that was like $700 and how she wanted to convince her DH that it was a good investment. My guess is she wanted internet strangers to tell her that the $700 stroller was a good idea but when these one off posts dont get the answer they want, they rant about how rude we are.

@drkoyya That is very (bitter)sweet that the baby arrived on the day DH's great grandmother passed away. I'm glad you do get some sort of leave from your employer!

@mamaj1220 I'm so sorry about your student! Don't feel selfish for being sad. I've cried over students that I didn't even have in my class. 

@pourmeanothermocktail I hear you! I definitely miss wine this week. I'm dreaming of warm summer days on our patio, DD playing in the backyard, new baby girl snoozing (not probably gonna be the case 😅), and me sipping some ice cold rose. I'm not sure where DH is in this, probably being bossed around by DD.

rox7777

@rachelg777 Same. Two boys. I never bought DS1 clothes and DS2 lives in hand me downs. It’s our final baby and a girl and I don’t want people stealing all the fun of dressing her up. I like splurging on baby stuff more than anything else and MH happens to go along with it because he’s been waiting to have a girl for years. 😂

m6agua

@TattoosandLace I hope your daughter feels better quickly!

@mamaj1220 I'm sorry about your former student.

@drkoyya I'm sorry about your H's great-grandmother, I think it is completely normal to feel at peace with the passing of people who have lived a full life. Also yay for the parental leave!

@sunshinesea22 Your comment was very tame and a common question that gets posted when there are one-off posts. I've seen were people place a gif from "Let me google that for you", so I wouldn't worry about it. That person is never coming back and we are about to move to a PG anyway.

AFM, my cousin brought over 2 bins of boys clothes this weekend. I also have 2 small bins of neutral clothes from DD. I cannot wait to find time to go through everything and wash it. Really I need to get DD in her new room first so I can actually put the baby clothes in the nursery after washing.

pirateduck

@rox7777 I hear ya on wanting to buy all the cute things and spoil baby.  Hubby is trying to stop me and I’m like no, I am allowed to be excited about this.  We have been trying for a baby for 3 years and may not be able to have another one, I’m gonna be excited about every little thing and over react and cherish every moment and spoil her and buy all the things.  Sorry not sorry.  No one can take that away from me.

jhysmath

@sunshinesea22
I was just telling my other BMB how tame this BMB is and how we don't usually get the fly by posts and the people who reply to them are always so kind. I didn't see your response, but I'm positive it was a lot kinder than the responses that were in our BMB before. 

@m6agua
I'm looking forward to getting our newborn clothes next week when we go to our house in NY, I want to go through all the tiny clothes and get them organized. We have mostly gender neutral newborn clothes so now I need to decide do I wash the girly stuff too now or hold off until we know if it's a girl or boy? 

@drkoyya that's awesome about your paid leave. I was a nanny for a professor while I was in college and she had to go back to work at 3 weeks because she couldn't take the time during the summer. As she was preparing her students to go to a national conference and technically wasn't "working" during the summer. I felt so bad for her. If she had the baby during the school year she would have been able to take time off, not sure what the policy was there, but it was dumb that she couldn't be cause it was summer. 

I feel like this entire pregnancy I've been fighting off a cold ever other week. I woke up last night all stuffed up and have a scratchy throat just in time for our school break next week. We will be going to our house in NY to visit MHs family and I'm sure MIL will make dumb comments about me being sick again or DD being sick as she will likely get it by then too. MIL also likes to force her "witches brew" which is whiskey, honey and menthol on me and I will tell her no over and over again. She will likely tell me that I and or DD should go to the doctors because I have a cold which makes me even more angry because doctors can't do anything for a cold and I'm a freaking adult and can decide when a doctor's visit is needed for myself or DD.

 I am excited to get all of the newborn clothes from that house though to start prepping for baby though! 

rox7777

@pirateduck Even though I was lucky enough to get three, I still feel like this one is bittersweet because she’s the last. 

Honestly, each baby should be treated like they might be the last, you never know what might happen along the way. We never expected to have a kid with cancer and even though his prognosis is practically the best you can get, it’s still terrifying.

So basically, if you have the means, go for it. Do it all whatever way makes you happy. Because it’s special whether you have 1 kid or 10 kids. Baby girl will have 1,000 outfits she might never wear and my boys will continue to get some kind of prize every time I take them out because they’re my babies and they’re all special. 

jrouge12

@rox7777 ❤ Probably some pregnancy hormones but I teared up at what you wrote! 

rox7777

@jrouge12 The hormones are out of control lately. MH doesn’t know what to do with me. I spent the first two trimesters grumpy and mean, now I cry over buying outfits and thinking about how it’s my last time buying itty bitty clothes.

pourmeanothermocktail

@sunshinesea22 Nah, you weren't mean. She decided to leave in a huff. Good riddance, I hate that drama. 

And I'm irritated by the number of people who just don't get it-like, when I originally joined the Bump years ago now, I signed tp and used my 3 day lurker only time to lurk and see how things go. And read the READ THIS FIRST. Why don't people read????

pirateduck

@rox7777 and even if you have multiple kids, you still only get that time with them once.  They grow up, they change, etc.  They are each only babies once.  I don't want to be wasteful because financially I want to be able to provide things like food and medical care too, but yeah, if I wanna buy cute itty bitty baby clothes, don't stop me!

rox7777

@pirateduck Most of the Cat & Jack brand at target is under $5-6 unless you get the fancy outfits. The wonder nation and garanimal brands at Walmart actually hold up well and run under $5 per outfit. I’m only splurging because I give myself a price limit per outfit. 😂

pirateduck

@rox7777 I feel like I can find plenty even if I restrict myself to the clearance rack at Target.  Also because of the weather where I live, the fall winter stuff will actually be appropriate for the baby most of the summer as well.  I'm all about the three piece sets for $5-$8!

rox7777

Very big topic shift but since our collection kit was just delivered, I’d thought I’d bring it up. 

Possible TW if cancer talk isn’t for you, so I’ll continue the conversation in a spoiler. 

With DS1 and DS2 we never collected the cord blood. We allowed their cords to stay attached until the blood was drained before clipping. However, since DS1’s diagnosis we’ve decided to do cord blood collection and storage in case he’d ever need a stem cell transplant in the future (secondary treatment option if he relapsed). I know it’s a morbid topic that most people don’t even consider, but childhood cancer is bigger than it’s ever been and diagnosed far more frequently than we think. Having the stem cells stored from a sibling match is huge with certain types of cancer because that’s the first treatment option. The yearly storage fees aren’t bad and it’s something to consider if you have the means. Bring it up with your OB/MFM if you’re interested because some of them have deals and companied they work with for this process.

pirateduck

@rox7777 I keep seeing ads for cord blood banking but it's not something my doctors have ever mentioned or talked about and I never really had a clear understanding of what it is for.

rox7777

@pirateduck Stem cells found in cord blood can be used in a lot of different medical treatments. They’re considered a regenerative cell, so they can be used to help rebuild a lot of things in the body. For example, lung tissue due to lung disease, muscle tissue due to degenerative diseases or rebuild bone marrow due to cancer treatment. In DS1’s case they would be used to replace the leukemia cells in his blood marrow with the hope of allowing the body to create new cells that would overcome the cancer cells. It’s more involved than that, but that’s basically the dumbed down version his oncologist gave us. Even if your child never ends up with cancer, they can be used to treat arthritis, Parkinson’s, and a multitude of other diseases. 

There’s still a lot of research as to their future uses, but they’re currently being used in a lot of medical fields to treat diseases that exist right now. The demand is fairly high and full blooded siblings tend to be the best match. We’re using a company called Via Cord because they offer free storage for 5 years for siblings of cancer patients, but the cost is only $175 a year. You could also call up the pediatrician you have picked out and discuss it with them. They’ll likely have companies that they work with and be able to tell you the benefits and drawbacks. BUT most OBs are at least trained in it somewhat because they’re responsible for collecting after birth. It needs to be done right after birth, so it’s something you want to know ahead of time. 

catem07

@pirateduck For most people, when they weigh the benefits of delayed clamping against the possibility of maybe one day needing the cord blood, delayed clamping wins out. Especially since there are storage fees to consider (you can also publicly bank cord blood some free but it could be used by someone else before you need it). 

But my MIL has had a number of cancers, including blood cancer, so thanks @rox7777 for raising that. I hadn't really considered it before but I'm going to ask my OB next time I go. I doubt we could/would want to cover the cost but it's worth looking into. 

rox7777

@catem07 We found a few companies that offered deals for people that had certain types of cancer and illness diagnosed in the family. The company we’re using is $175 a year and you can pay it all at once or break it down over the course of 12 months for $14.50. Via Cord is the one we’re using because they work with DS1’s hospital and give us 5 free years, but she said that was the payment option for everyone after your free time was up. 

catem07

@rox7777 here I am thinking we're talking $1000. Will definitely look into that!