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J20 Weekly Check In 2/17/20

blaf322blaf322 member
in July 2020 Moms
EDD/weeks+days:

Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: 

Baby is the size of a(n)/fun fact: 

Upcoming appointments: 

How are you feeling? 

Raves/Rants: 

Questions: 

GTKY- Would you rather never play or always lose?
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Re: J20 Weekly Check In 2/17/20

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    stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    EDD/weeks+days: 7/11; 19+2

    Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: finding out (next week!)

    Baby is the size of a(n)/fun fact: gameboy

    Upcoming appointments: AS 2/24

    How are you feeling? Mostly pretty decent

    Raves/Rants: This is a rave and a rant at the same time. Last night I was practicing for my PB class that I'll teach tonight. I was doing a hip bridge and my uterus just felt... really heavy? Anyway, I pulled my shirt up to look at my stomach. I SAW THE BABY MOVING BUT I STILL DIDN'T FEEL IT?! I thought I might be losing my mind, so I called MH over to confirm that he could see the movement too. Sure enough! So the rave is that was really cool to see, but the rant is I'm still not feeling it! It was so bizarre.

    Questions: none at the moment

    GTKY- Would you rather never play or always lose? Always lose. I'm actually pretty terrible at all sports things, so always losing is my norm haha I'm cool with it.

    @blaf322 I'm so sorry you got that news! I'm sure that's really scary to hear. I'll be hoping that everything has resolved itself at your next scan and he can go to term. I don't have experience with a pre-term baby myself, but from my time with DD in the NICU, my biggest piece of advice is to remember to take care of yourself. Eat, sleep at home in your own bed (assuming your hospital is relatively close), have YH wash the pump parts while you go back to sleep, lean on your support to take care of things at home. There's someone in my other BMB who just had her baby around 34 1/2 weeks, and his biggest things have been needing a little bit of oxygen at first (he's off it now), regulating his own temp, and figuring out feedings. I would imagine he'll need oxygen and a feeding tube at first and be in an isolette, but gradually he'll learn to do those things on his own.
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    blaf322blaf322 member
    @kc0711 thank you for that insight into your experience! I'm glad things worked out well for you guys and hope things work out as well for us.
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    JessDGJessDG member
    @blaf322  Ugh, I'm sorry about the not so great news.  I hope that those arteries get out of the way by the time you are back for a re-check.  I'm glad they have a plan in place though.  

    @bluguitarhannah Moody start to the week over here too.  Here's to hoping it'll get better for both of us. 

    EDD/weeks+days:  16w 5d

    Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green:  Finding out for sure at Anatomy Scan on 3/9

    Baby is the size of a(n)/fun fact: Avocado!

    Upcoming appointments: Regular OB on 3/3 and Anatomy scan on 3/9

    How are you feeling?  Not bad.  I'm finally not as tired.  My heartburn is starting to ramp up big time though.  

    Raves/Rants:  I've got to work today, but no students, so I'm actually getting things done without 4 million interruptions.  

    GTKY- Would you rather never play or always lose?  Probably Always lose.  I love winning, but I probably like playing more. 


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    kc0711kc0711 member
    EDD/weeks+days: 7/25

    Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: blue!

    Baby is the size of a(n)/fun fact: weighs as much as a hockey puck

    Upcoming appointments: birth group meeting 3/5, anatomy scan and check up 3/9

    How are you feeling? Still not great! Nauseous most nights, not sleeping great, just worn out. 

    Raves/Rants: DH has taken over night wakings when he is in town and it is GLORIOUS! I still wake up because she breathes too heavy and I wake up, but not having to get out of bed is amazing. 

    Questions: when will my
    bump over show -insert crying face emoji-???

    GTKY- Would you rather never play or always lose? Always lose, which would be tough, but I couldn’t not participate. But I will admit, I am a sore loser. I am very competitive! 
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    stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @footdrbritt yay I'm glad I'm not the only one who started team green and then changed her mind! I hope your AS goes well.

    @JessDG enjoy your day without students!

    @kc0711 I'm still waiting for my bump to appear too. I thiiiiink it's just starting to become a little more apparent now at 19+ weeks for me.
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    blaf322blaf322 member
    @footdrbritt I'm not sure if you're like this too... but I have more of a sense of mortality with this pregnancy than I did with DD's. Like, with DD's I just kind of always assumed everything was going to be okay and never worried. This time, though, I'm constantly wondering if something bad has happened or what bad thing is going to happen at the next appt.
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    Mamaof2beautifulgirlsMamaof2beautifulgirls member
    EDD/weeks+days: 17+, July 27th (I think!!!)

    Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: blue!!!

    Baby is the size of a(n)/fun fact:  The size of your hand palm!!! 💙

    Upcoming appointments: Next Wednesday for AS!!! I will be 18 weeks and I worry this is happening too early???

    How are you feeling? Not great!!! I am sick with a cold and nausea has returned which is making eating hard! 

    Raves/Rants: I have a lot to rant!!! I didn’t post last week because my anxiety was so high!!! At my doctor’s appointment two weeks ago they found protein in my urine. This has set my anxiety off!!! The doctor was not worried about it because she felt it was due to nausea and dehydration. Of course though I have googled it and my mind goes to every bad out come!!! I have been keeping a check on my blood pressure and it is good. I am just hoping the protein was a fluke!! Also I am not feeling baby move consistently and this also is not helping my anxiety. 

    Questions: Has the above ever happen to anyone else? 

    GTKY- Would you rather never play or always lose? Never play. I don’t mind to lose but I don’t want to lose every time. 😂
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    stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @Mamaof2beautifulgirls I had my AS at 18 weeks with DD! They were able to see everything they needed no problem. I'm sure if they can't, they'll just have you come back in a couple weeks.
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    blaf322blaf322 member
    @b_1029 haha... what a terrible combo for the losing/bad at games thing :D  You made me think of my bestie's H. Pre-kids, we'd have game nights with them and, a couple of times, we pulled out monopoly. Well, her H was drinking (we all were) and got so grumpy (basically went off and pouted while playing DJ for us lol) about losing so we all joked that we didn't want to play with him b/c he gets so bent out of shape over it. So, now, if we ever play, he is so insanely the opposite of that when he loses, it's comical lol... He's playing banker and encouraging others. It's hysterical. 
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    stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @b_1029 oof that's a lot with your bio dad. MH is adopted and also knows his biological family. He met them at 18 though, so at a very different point in his life than you are. Even still the dynamics for him can be a bit weird at times, but it definitely sounds like your bio dad is being extremely overwhelming and needs to back tf off. That sounds really hard to navigate - I'm sorry.

    @mayisch I'm hoping to never go on a shopping spree for this one haha there's really no need for me to buy anything other than potentially some clothes depending on sex of this one. The cost of daycare for two looming in the distance is (so far) keeping me from spending unnecessarily. :lol:

    @blaf322 I'm about to look crazy, but I just feel the need to tell you I didn't ignore your update! We posted at the same time with responses, and I know TB likes to just go straight to after your last post so you might not have seen it. I just don't want you to think I'm responding to everyone else and ignoring your major update! (Yep, I'm crazy.)
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    b_1029b_1029 member
    @blaf322 I end up getting pretty pouty.  I like to think only my H notices, but probably not hahah. I'm too competitive. Games are ok but I get pretty annoyed with sport stuff...everyone's always like, well you swam so you're athletic, you should be good at this...nope. haha.

    @stlbuckeye132 thank you. I can see it from both sides, I know he means well and probably isn't meaning to put pressure on me, but this relationship just doesn't mean the same thing to me that it does to him. I mean I was curious where I came from but it wasn't like this "missing piece of my life puzzle" like it is for him since he has always wondered who I was and how I turned out. Past getting to know him a bit, I still don't really know what I want out of this, and he's calling me his daughter's sister (which I snapped at him for) and saying that I mean just as much to him as his kids. Just a weird situation.
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    blaf322blaf322 member
    edited February 2020
    @stlbuckeye132 I didn't think anything of it at all! But, I'm glad you said something b/c I was wondering where your update was b/c I saw that you were reading other posts but missed your reply lol.... Thanks for that info! I'm the type that just likes to be prepared. Like, if I know what all could happen, I'll have a mental plan for how I want to handle it.... which is silly, but what can I say... it helps me cope leading up to everything. Anyway, that insight is SUPER helpful! So, thank you! 
    A girl from my bestie's BMB had a 31 weeker and recommended a book for me to order. I'll do that too if things don't look better by 26weeks.

    Thanks for the kind words, everyone <3 I'm feeling significantly less overwhelmed by the info and back to my, "okay, this is what it is, we'll handle whatever happens" mentality.
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    meanjellybeanmeanjellybean member
    I prob won't check in until tomorrow but wanted to say I'm thinking of you @blaf322 and I'm sorry to read the news about the AS. Really really hoping that the situation takes care of itself by the next scan, but even if it doesn't, you strike me as the kind of person who will be super prepared and will take it in stride if they need to get him out early.

    And @b_1029 that sounds like a really heavy situation and an overwhelming weekend. I'm sorry you didn't really get a chance to rest, but glad you're feeling movement!
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    stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @b_1029 I think it's fair to tell him that you need some space to try to process everything and figure out what you're looking for (if anything) out of the relationship. Hopefully he would respect you enough to back off while you sort out what you want.

    @blaf322 that's not silly at all! I'm the same way, I want as much info as possible going into something so I can mentally prepare.
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    footdrbrittfootdrbritt member
    @modoodles I’m having the same AS anxiety so right there with you. 
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    blaf322blaf322 member
    edited February 2020
    @modoodles I'm super worried about going home without him. I really wanted to try to keep off my Prozac and learn to manage things a little better without meds (I get SSRI induced insomnia so keeping off them is super ideal if I can manage) but I just don't think that'll be possible, given this situation. I'm so worried about BFing already. 

    I'm also being a psycho and wondering about things like, buying preemie clothes and if I'm going to look pregnant enough at for the maternity pics I just paid a deposit for :D All super dumb.... but this is where my head is at. I should make a running list of all the things now too so I can stress a little less lol


    Also, good luck with your AS! I hope everything looks perfect <3
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    Mamaof2beautifulgirlsMamaof2beautifulgirls member
    @pocketrose I am sorry for the no sleep!!! I am right there with you!!! I am up at least every couple hours going to the bathroom.

    @b_1029 So sorry for the family drama. It sounds really complicated. I hope you find peace soon with the situation. 

    @kristinl492 yay for energy, but totally understand the no patiences. 

    @mayishc Sorry for the UTI! Hope you have a quick recovery!!! 

    @modoodles So sorry for the anxiety!!! I totally understand! Mine has been through the roof!!!
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    mayischmayisch member
    @blaf322 that doesn't sound dumb... I would be thinking about that too... I am keeping you and your baby in my prayers hoping for a good result on future scans... 
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    nursejenn5nursejenn5 member
    @blaf322 thinking of you and your AS results! Hoping things change up in the next 6 weeks for you. We sometimes have these mommas be admitted to the hospital prior to a 34w section date for closer monitoring in case any bleeding were to happen. I’m not sure what the protocol is for where you live. Also, our ~34 weekers (and some younger) do extremely well and just need a little help initially and for a short time, but then do super well. But nowadays, clinically, we don’t even talk about 34 weekers being that early! They will most likely do the steroid injections people have mentioned to help with his lungs maturing. 
    Definitely thinking about you during all this, and hoping for the good results at 26w! 
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    stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @blaf322 I'm back for more because your and @modoodles conversation reminded me about how I needed meds after DD's birth for a while too. I actually think the therapy I went to helped more than the meds once I figured out what was spiking my anxiety and had better coping methods in place. I hated being on medicine too because it made me soooo constipated. I was only on them for a few months then weaned off. Have you ever gone to therapy? I think maybe going to some sessions while pregnant could be beneficial if you're wanting to avoid medicine. I know where I am there are therapists who specialize in prenatal and postpartum issues. Just something else to think about.
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    blaf322blaf322 member
    @nursejenn5 thank you for the insight! I wanted to tag you to ask but try to be really respectful of boundaries when it comes to people in healthcare. I know some don't want to talk about that kind of stuff or give opinions/talk about what they know. 
    Was wondering about bed rest/early admission... I doubt it'll clear up (based on what Dr. Google is telling me) but I'm glad to hear it's something you've seen with good outcomes for babies!
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    blaf322blaf322 member
    edited February 2020
    @stlbuckeye132 I went to one when I first decided to take myself off my Prozac but, bless her heart, that woman was a disaster and I could not connect to her at all. She only had one leg to speak of between all her limbs (b/c of sepsis she dealt with years ago) and was more together than I would have been with, like 3 or 4 kids, no hands and one leg... but it was just too much for me. I didn't look for anyone else because she was just so pushy about me doing breathing therapy and all this that I just can't get my head around.... I wonder if there are people who will just let you word vomit and talk through shit when you're anxious? B/c that's what I need lol
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    beckylookatherbumpbeckylookatherbump member
    @blaf322 I can see how scary this is but the good news is you know now and have the time to make a plan and get him the meds he needs before delivery to have the least effects as possible. I know it seems scary and overwhelming but my brother was born at 35 weeks and didn’t end up even needing more than an overnight niccu stay. Every baby is different so plan for worst case but also don’t borrow trouble that hasn’t happened yet. 
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    hbird0723hbird0723 member
    EDD/weeks+days: 7/27 and 17 weeks 

    Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: Pink

    Baby is the size of a(n)/fun fact:  Pomegranate 

    Upcoming appointments: Not until March 17th for the big scan 

    How are you feeling? Good but sore and it’s hard to sleep

    Raves/Rants: A friend just gave me some really cute things and I bought some second hand things today for a good deal so I’m pretty excited about that since we’ve had to start over. 

    Questions: 

    GTKY- Would you rather never play or always lose? Always lose. I pretty much always lose at games any way lol but I enjoy playing :) 

    @blaf322 - I’m really sorry about the news this morning. That would be scary to hear and I think all the things you’re thinking about aren’t silly at all. I’ll be praying for you both and the next ultrasound. 
    image

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    stlbuckeye132stlbuckeye132 member
    @blaf322 omg yes the connection has to be there otherwise it won't work. I got lucky and really connected with the first one I went to and she absolutely just let me talk through my shit. (But then also gave me coping strategies - a variety of them b/c she recognized that deep breathing doesn't work for everyone.)
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    mehuggmehugg member
    @blaf322 @stlbuckeye132 first of all, I'm sorry about the scary news today! I'm glad you know about it now though and can (sort of) plan. Regarding anxiety/therapy, chiming in to share a little about my experiences with generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I really hear you with the "I want to cope/deal on my own" sentiment. I was a senior in college having the time of my life when my anxiety got out of control. I didn't understand why I couldn't just get it together on my own. 

    Then my dad told me a story about his first year after college. He had run D1 cross country and track and was running marathon miles each week, but despite being in great shape he had very high blood pressure. It was just what his body did and a little medicine has kept him healthy ever since. Sometimes you can do everything right and your body just has other plans. 

    Truth be told, I hadn't been connecting with my therapist very well and even if I had, medication helped me level out. I'm on a low dose of Lexapro and it has changed my life, and my OB and I talked about it and she said it's important that mama is okay in order to take care of baby, so I've stayed on it. I also just got started with a new therapist who focuses on pre/post partum issues - I feel like I'm a prime candidate for PPD/PPA so I wanted to get a head start. It's the first time I've ever felt like my therapist is a good match and I go every other week. It's been a really helpful place to process this pregnancy and the current and coming changes in my life as a result! 

    TLDR - therapy & medicine can both be good and you don't have to just deal with things on your own 🙂
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