February STM+ check in

meanjellybean

EDD/Weeks + Days: 

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 

Any questions/concerns?

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently?

meanjellybean

EDD/Weeks + Days: July 14/17w1d

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD will be 2 on March 5th

Any questions/concerns? I know the story usually goes (not always) that you go into labor earlier the second time than the first, and it typically happens faster. I went into labor two days before my due date last time. I'm curious if other STM+ went into labor sooner with subsequent pregnancies and if so, how soon? I'm going to ask my OB about this later on, but my job will be extremely busy in June and I'll be commuting an hour each way three days a week. I'm wondering if she will tell me I can't do that... not really sure what I will tell work if that is the case... 

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? I don't know why it's so cute to me, but she has started saying "come here." For some reason, her saying "come here, mommy" just melts my heart. She is talking so much more than a couple months ago and it's just fascinating to both me and DH. 

coffeeandcookies84

EDD/Weeks + Days: July 7/18+1

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DS will be 3 on March 19th

Any questions/concerns? Nothing right now, but I’m sure something will come up over the next few days!

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? Over the past few months he’s started saying “I love you too”, and it so sweet and seems genuine 😂. He’s also been showing the dog that he has a baby in his belly. Gosh I love that kid so much, I need to really try and soak in these last few months of just him.

coffeeandcookies84

@meanjellybean sorry I’ve got no experience, but I hope it is true! I ended up being induced with DS (11 days late) and pushed for 3 hours. I’m going to try my best to move things along sooner this time!

blaf322

@meanjellybean not sure but interested to hear what others say. I'm trying so hard to remember how early my bestie went with both of hers and I'm struggling. I feel like she was 2 weeks early with her second and I think less than a week with her first. My thought is that they may want to stop that travel closer to time (especially if labor went quickly last time). Otherwise, you'll risk needing to deliver at another hospital. Did you have prodromal labor at all with your daughter?

ETA- oh, and labor went more smoothly with her second.... and progressed MUCH more quickly.... she almost missed the opportunity for an epidural.

EDD/Weeks + Days: 7/5 ; 18+3

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3yo DD

Any questions/concerns? not right now!

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? I really love the imagination that's coming out right now. She'll do a sharp intake of breath and say "Oh no! The dinosaur's coming! We gotta hide!" And she looooves baby dolls so one of her babies pretty much always needs something or is crying. I hope she's that sweet to her baby brother.

I wish we could post videos on here. I'd totally eat up videos of cute little kiddos saying/doing all of these sweet things

meanjellybean

@blaf322 omg "the dinosaur's coming!" that is the cutest thing. How fun. I'm sure she will be a super sweet big sister!

I didn't have prodromal labor with my first. I never know what to say about how long labor was. Like, is it from when I first started feeling contractions at all? Or only start from the point where they were consistent and close together? I started having very mild contractions on Sunday morning that very steadily increased and we got to the hospital around 6pm, DD was born at 4:44am the next morning. So pretty standard, not fast, not slow. Ugh, I don't know what I'll do if they tell me I can't travel that far but I know it's a possibility...

stlbuckeye132

EDD/Weeks + Days: July 11; 17+4

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD will be 2 in March - it's a popular month apparently!

Any questions/concerns? How do you all plan on "preparing" your existing kids for baby's arrival? Obviously age plays a factor here. We've been talking about baby somewhat regularly with her (not daily though), and she understands there's a baby in my belly as much as an almost 2yo can, but any advice on how to make it a bit more real as we get closer to go time? I'm planning to get her some books about being a big sister and stuff, but other than that... just hope for the best? I'm not expecting her to calmly accept a new baby in the house, but I'd like to prepare her as much as we can.

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? Omg, literally everything lately? I am loving this age!! She gets SO EXCITED anytime she sees a school bus and that's cute. Also super cute is when we're wrapping up a facetime session with grandparents and we have her tell them she loves them, she'll bring both of her fists right up under her chin, squeeze her shoulders up, and tilt her head like she's squeezing them while saying "luhhh youuu." It's adorable.

@meanjellybean no experience since this is my second too, but I'm telling myself I'm going past my due date. I was 3 days past due with DD, and they had adjusted my EDD to be based off my ovulation date (day 20 instead of 14) with her and this time my EDD wasn't adjusted. I will not be surprised if I go even more past my due date this time just because I think my EDD is too early. I hope I'm wrong, but I had convinced myself last time that I'd go into labor early. When I didn't, it made for a loooong several weeks.

@coffeeandcookies84 kids interacting with their dogs is THE BEST. So sweet!

@blaf322 you better watch out for those dinosaurs! haha that's too cute! Sounds like she'll be a great big sister and helper for you!

blaf322

I have to share this hilarious (to me, hopefully you too) convo I just had with DD, talking about how her day went:

DD: I played magnets with Camden but I yelled at him bc he took the other ones and I needed them

me: it’s not nice to yell at our friends. If we yell at them, they won’t want to play with us anymore bc it makes them sad. It makes you sad when your friends yell at you, right?

DD: no, what makes me sad is when Camden takes the yellow magnets and I need them 

🤦🏼‍♀️ Well, I tried 😂 

blaf322

@stlbuckeye132 I make sure to talk to her about what’s going to change when baby comes. That way it’s not a shock. What are they going to have to give up (like maybe a high chair) and what will they have to share. I would also talk about being gentle with the baby and reminding them that babies sleep a lot. Kids tend to think babies come out and are able to play with them. So basically, I’d just prep for anything that might be shocking or disruptive for them.

ETA- also, that goodbye sounds like the cutest, sweetest ever ❤️

stlbuckeye132

@blaf322 me right now. She's not wrong!

kristinl492

EDD/Weeks + Days: 15+4 7/25

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 
He’s going to be 2 next month 😭

Any questions/concerns? I mean, no more than the usual “how on earth is he going to adjust to a sibling.” TBH, I’m more concerned about DH adapting to a second baby than I am about my toddler lol

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently?

oh man, he’s been real cute lately. His speech is taking off like wildfire and I’m dying over all the things he’s saying. My current favorite is that he has to say “um” before asking fo /deciding on something. It’s the cutest!

NinnyJean

@meanjellybean I was induced for both of mine but my second one I was induced a week and a half earlier 

In terms of getting other kids ready, we have a couple big sister books and we’ll tell them how there’s a baby in mommy’s belly. We also have an ultrasound on the fridge so when they’re over near it we talk about how that’s the baby 

EDD/Weeks + Days: 7/19, 16+4

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD1is 3 and DD2 is 17 months today!

Any questions/concerns? This past weekend both girls got sick and it made me realize that it’ll be complete mayhem one day having three sick kids at the same time. No other real concerns, besides just waiting for the appointment when my blood pressure starts to go up. My OB and I both know it’ll happen probably soon, so just waiting for that day and what the plan will be

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? I’ve always called DH slick and DD1 once in a blue moon would but lately whenever she needs him to get something or do something for her she calls him slick instead of daddy 

meanjellybean

@blaf322 lolllll welp you tried. Can't argue with her reasoning. I have the same question as @stlbuckeye132 and others about how best to prepare DD for a sibling, and I like your suggestion about talking about what is going to change. Also, our more immediate concern is how she is going to deal with the move. It will be in the beginning of April so at least there will be time to settle in before the new baby arrives (knock on wood!). @blaf322 I think you said you moved about a year ago, so your DD was around 2? How did you make the transition to a new house easier on her? I know kids are super resilient and adapt quickly so it may be more of my emotional hangup lol. I'm already getting sad thinking about how one day she will wake up in the house she has always known and then go to sleep in a brand new house...

blaf322

@meanjellybean yep! She had recently turned 2 when we moved and, TBH, she gave zero F's. She went and stayed with Mimi and Grandpa one weekend then came back to her new room. Maybe she was okay with everything because we talked to her in advance about her new room and our new house? We took her with us to look at the new house and told her which room was her room and tried to get her excited about it. Something to remember is that everything else will be the same for her as far as her room is concerned. The location of the furniture is the only difference.

I think the best way to tell how it's going to go is to look at how she handles when other things change. For my friend's DD, when big things change she always acts out... for example, my daughter is in her daycare class but my DD (and most of my friend's DD's friends) are a couple of months older than her. When her friends start transitioning to the next classroom, her daughter starts having behavior problems at school. Once she moves up to the next room, the behavior problems get better. She doesn't handle change well, at all. So, it's no surprise that their recent move has caused a lot of issues.

How does your DD handle change?

meanjellybean

@blaf322 well that's encouraging! Thanks! We will definitely plan to talk to her about the new house and new room. And good call about taking her there in advance to get her excited about it. I think she's going to love the house overall - there is just so much more space than our current house.. she literally bounces off chairs and our coffee table when she tries to run around downstairs lol. This will be by far the biggest change she has had to deal with. I'm trying to think about how she handles changing rooms at daycare... if anything, she gets a little quieter or clingier but doesn't act out there or at home. And I am encouraged by the fact that whenever she has had to sleep somewhere else (like her grandparents or when we have traveled) she has done great and it hasn't messed with her routine. So I'm hoping for that.

blaf322

@meanjellybean I feel pretty confident that you'll be fine. She sounds a lot like my DD as far as response to new things and sleep. My friend's DD is.... challenging. With everything. So it's really no huge surprise that she's acting out.

meanjellybean

@blaf322 fingers crossed! But yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll be the one with issues coming on here crying and being emotional about leaving our current house. Even though I've been complaining about this house basically the entire time we have lived there 

stlbuckeye132

@meanjellybean switching gears from house change to speed of second labors, someone just asked the same question as you on my M18 facebook group this morning. Lots of people sharing their experiences, but one just said her doula told her on average a second birth is half the time of your first. Cue me shitting my pants now because all the doctors/nurses told me my labor was pretty quick with DD. I guess I really do need to think of a plan B for if I go into labor before my mom is here. Eek.

meanjellybean

@stlbuckeye132 ummmmm I'm over here joining you in the pants-shitting lol. My SIL is pregnant with her third and her second was definitely much faster than her first. Ugh. Guess we are going to have to make some plans...

mrsdrez

@stlbuckeye132 Oh well.. that's good to know! I went into labour 10 days early with my first and was in the hospital for like 5 hours before she was born. Maybe my "spend July at camp" plans will have to change. Hm.. I just got my first real bit of nerves about this baby's delivery. 

kc0711

EDD/Weeks + Days: 15ish

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD 19 months

Any questions/concerns? It’s a waaaays away, but I’m already trying to figure out how to have a birthday party for DD. Her birthday is July 9, the Saturday before is July 4 and the Saturday after is July 11 (funny enough, that’s my birthday). I’m due the 25th, but had DD 5 weeks early (CS, but our doc said I would have maybe made it another day or two before going into labor on my own). I know she doesn’t know the day of her birthday, I just don’t want her to lose her birthday in the hubbub of the new baby coming. And I really hope I don’t go into labor on her birthday or mine. 

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? She has learned how to roar like a dinosaur and it’s adorable and hilarious. But she has started to become so affectionate, she blows you kisses and runs to give you hugs whenever you say bye, even if you are just going in another room. 

kristinl492

@kc0711 Wht about celebrating it a month early? We’re not doing the big party for when DS turns 2 next month. Taking him to the aquarium on his actual bday for a fun, family activity. Well do some cake and ice cream that weekend with a few family members, like our parents and siblings. Keeping it simple and low key is the way for me this year!

blaf322

@kc0711 ugh... that would be stressing me out too. Maybe you can send out invites with a party date and then a, if I go into labor, back up date. You could give the guest list to a close friend and have them contact everyone to notify them of the switch if you end up needing to use the back up date. Not ideal, but I feel like it's your best option... outside of just doing the party a month or so in advance.

kc0711

@kristinl492 @blaf322 I’ve tossed around both of those options. Of course my parents have to throw a wrinkle in. They still live on the east coast and are both retiring at the end of June. They are coming out to where I live after that to stay the month and be on stand by for when baby gets here and help with DD. So if I did it a month in advance, they would not be able to make it. However the original plan was for them to retire at the end of May, my dad pushed it back, so that’s kind of on them. But they will be here for her actual birthday and we could do a family party. Maybe that’ll be the ticket, a party in June for friends and a family only party on her real birthday. 

mrs_sheddy

EDD/Weeks + Days: 14 weeks + 4 days (I'm an early August intruder) 

How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD turned 5 in December

Any questions/concerns? Sometimes I question what I was thinking when I realize how independent DD is! I realize she will be super helpful, but dang is life easy right now!

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? She's been "preparing" us for the baby. "Mom, do we even have any bottles?" ...we don't!... "Ooh, we better get some! And those puke towels"

stlbuckeye132

@mrs_sheddy "puke towels"

meanjellybean

@mrs_sheddy my SIL is pregnant with their 3rd right now and her oldest will be 6 in April and she has said the same thing about independence. I've been complaining to her about how this pregnancy has been tougher than my first because of chasing a toddler around and she says that this one is actually not as bad because her oldest is like a little mom who will get her little brother (2.5) out of bed in the morning and feed and play with him while she rests. I was green with jealousy lol.

Pascal86

@meanjellybean I was induced at 41 weeks for both my daughters, and basically planning on that this time around too, but holy crap am I not excited about being 41 weeks pregnant in the beginning of August. I pushed hard for an early induction with DD2 because DD1 was so big, but my midwife said I’d have to request an elective early induction since I didn’t actually have any issues delivering a large baby, and I got scared that insurance wouldn’t cover it then or something, so just waited. But there definitely was a difference in pushing time - DD1 was 90 minutes of the hardest workout of my life, and DD2 was out in 3 pushes, probably 90 seconds total (after many hours of labor in both cases).

@kc0711 I was 5 days overdue on DD1’s second birthday, so we had to think about this too. All the grandparents were there, so I just told my parents that if we had to leave during the party to go give birth, they could take over. Or run the whole party, if I had to leave before then or something. If I were you I’d just plan something that requires minimal or on your end, that you can hand off to someone else if you end up delivering then. Your kid will need to be watched by someone anyway. 

@st@stlbuckeye132 honestly, we just hoped for the best and it was totally fine. DD1 had just turned 2 when DD2 arrived, and it took like 3 days for her to forget that things had ever been different. Your DD will be slightly older, but I bet will be fine too. They’re pretty adaptable at that age. 

EDD/Weeks + Days: 15w4d, July 27

How old is/are your other kid(s)? Turning 4 and 2 on June 3 and June 5

Any questions/concerns? I’m curious if there’s any chance my third will come without being induced, although I’ve given up any real hope of that happening. I just don’t want to be pregnant for the full 41 weeks, but I have Kaiser and they’re super stingy with early inductions. 😭 Also very concerned how I’m going to come up with a good name for this baby. I feel fully convinced that I’ve already used the only good girls names and am not into any boy name ever. 😬

GTKY: What is something cute/sweet your LO(s) have done recently? DD1 asked to see my belly yesterday and asked when it’s going to grow big... I just love her being engaged this time, last time she was way too little to really understand any of it. DD2 does sometimes lift up her shirt, pat her belly, and yell, “BABY!” but it’s unclear if that’s related to me, or if she’s just calling herself a baby and super proud of her tummy. 

blaf322

@Pascal86 "calling herself a baby and super proud of her tummy."  

meanjellybean

I know there are a few of us in the same general timeframe where one or more kiddos will be 2.5 to 3 years old when this baby arrives... anyone else kind of stressed about the plan for potty training? I know there are different schools of thought around method and whether it's better to do it earlier or wait until they are "ready" but I'm wondering what others think about doing it before vs waiting. DD will be 2 at the beginning of March so she'll be almost 2.5 when the baby comes. Also we are moving in April, so that will be another change for her. It's so hard to know whether adding potty training into the mix would be too much or whether she would just roll with it. Sometimes I think she seems ready and sometimes I don't. I guess my plan is to wait until she moves up to the next room at daycare (which will happen soon after her bday), where they start to walk them to the potty and talk about it and stuff. Kind of hoping daycare can just teach her for me... only half kidding 

stlbuckeye132

@meanjellybean our DDs are basically the same age, and this has been on my mind too. I actually attempted PT with her over Christmas... it did not go well. lol before attempting I was of the thought, "if you just stick with it long enough, it'll click." Easy to say, but then when she was clearly having to pee but holding it so hard/long and screaming bloody murder anytime she sat on the potty, I decided "ok maybe there is something to be said for them being 'ready' on their own." (To clarify, I didn't randomly just decide to do this, she had been showing a lot of interest, telling us when she wanted a diaper change, etc. and had been fine sitting on the potty.) I feel like I semi-traumatized her with that because she wouldn't go near the potty for awhile after, but now she's starting to show interest again. I've thought about maybe trying to attempt it over Memorial Day weekend because that will be a 4 day weekend we could dedicate to it, but.... I'll also be very pregnant.

This is a long winded response to say idk what we're going to do, but I'm also hoping daycare does a lot of the teaching haha

meanjellybean

@stlbuckeye132 glad I'm not alone! And yeah from talking to other people and reading about it, so much of it seems dependent on your child's personality. Like some respond really well to the method of the parents just throwing away all the diapers and going naked for a weekend etc, but then I've heard some parents who are like "it wasn't a big deal, he/she just said they were ready and they were ready." Like shouldn't I know my child well enough to know which approach is appropriate? I'm hoping that this will be like any "new" thing with parenting where the anticipation is worse than the actual "doing" of it lol and once it's over we will look back and be like that wasn't that big of a deal.

blaf322

@meanjellybean I'd give it a try now and see how it goes vs making your first attempt when you're dealing with an infant. I think if you start within the next couple of weeks, you'll know by April if it's going to work out. She may regress some after the move, but she may also surprise you. DD was INCREDIBLY easy to PT and was PT to the point that I trusted her any and everywhere within a month. I could have fully trusted her within probably a week or 2 though (exception: we didn't work on night training and just kind of let it happen on it's own).

You could also wait until right after the move... "once we get to the new house, you get to start using a potty!" You can prep her by talking about giving her diapers to another baby b/c she's not a baby anymore and the whole, new house thing and then, once you move, you can use a weekend to really focus on it. 

We used this book and I really liked the method. DD wasn't "showing readiness signs" like a lot of people/books talk about. This book focuses on early PTing (so she thinks signs of readiness is a crock and the bigger focus should be on ability) so DD was considered late by this book's standards... but we had really great success with the method.

kristinl492

@meanjellybean I’m in the school of “wait til they’re ready.” I honestly don’t see DS being ready til much closer to 3. He should be 2 and 4ish months when baby comes. I’m dreading potty training, so I’m happy to wait as long as he needs. My mom watches him while I work so I keep telling her she can handle potty training lol. I’ve always heard that boys are a little more difficult in terms of readiness in that area, anyway.

blaf322

oh, and if you go the naked baby route, I highly recommend getting some of these  to cover the furniture and rugs. We didn't really end up needing them... but it helped me chill out when she was sitting on the couch so it, ultimately, helped us be successful.

meanjellybean

@kristinl492 the good thing about your plan is that you know your mom has done it before 

@blaf322 I like the idea of making it a thing when we get to the new house. At least hyping it up a little. That would also give us some time to see how the change to the new room at daycare goes and whether that spurs anything. My main thing with her "readiness" right now is that she does not give a shit (pun intended) about sitting in a dirty diaper. Pee/poop, doesn't matter, she's like no thanks I'm good to sit in this diaper for the rest of the day, mom. But she does show a lot of interest in going on the potty... talks about it, likes to help flush, knows that mommy and daddy go on the potty (and the cat poops in a box lol). But yeah unless she starts to want to have her dirty diaper changed, I think we'll probably go the Oh, Crap route of trying to get it done all at once. At some point...

coffeeandcookies84

I don't really have much to add except that we also used/read the Oh Crap! book, and it was great, and such an easy read.

We started PT DS between 2-2.5 (he'll be just over 3 when baby gets here), and overall it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I do actually think daycare did a bulk of his day-to-day training, but when it came to the weekends, I never felt like we had to stay home, or rush around for the sake of potty training. I feel like training over the summer months really helped though, DS has peed in a few bushes

He's still not trained for overnights, but I'm not going to rush that. he's in a pull up, which is basically dry when he wakes up and if he does need to pee overnight, he'll let me know.

blaf322

@meanjellybean DD didn't ever care about having a dirty diaper either! It was really great when we were out and about or travelling and just trying to get home first. Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes, whenever you decide to pull the trigger
(side note- If you wait until after baby, I totally recommend stocking up on wine for that weekend. The rule is, if you're PTing, it's perfectly acceptable to open a bottle at any time of day )

meanjellybean

@coffeeandcookies84 @blaf322 all good to know! It's so helpful to hear other's experiences with this stuff. And @blaf322 that's a relief to hear that your DD didn't mind a dirty diaper too, I've been most worried about that in terms of initiating anything! And I hope we don't have to wait until after this baby is born, but if so, rest assured I won't be shy about the wine lol.

Pascal86

This isn’t helpful for older siblings, but I highly recommend getting your babies used to the toilet early once the new ones are here. I put both kids on the toilet starting around 6 months, and DD1 was fully potty trained by age 2, and DD2 is 20 months and only poops in the toilet, and can wear underwear at home when we’re able to get her on the potty often enough.

I know I say this at the risk of one million eye rolls, because I tell my friends this all the time and none of them have tried it, but I started this at the recommendation of another friend, and am so happy I did. Never really did real potty training, and saved so many diapers. So I’ll just leave it at that, but happy to talk to anyone who wants to know more when the time comes. 

stlbuckeye132

This is not relevant to anything, but I have a cute DD story from last night! MH and I were talking about the baby and it's her little brother or sister and blah blah blah. Then...
MH: what sound do babies make?
DD: *fake snores*

Let's hope so, DD, let's hope!