Agreed about the weird dreams. I had a horrible dream about work last night, and I knew I was in a dream but couldn't wake myself up? @lisush I've definitely woken up in the middle of the night crying a month or two ago.
Also yes to the stretch marks everywhere. I've had stretch marks since I was a teenager, so I don't seem to have new ones but my old ones are stretching out again.
I've had a couple weird dreams about breast feeding. They have been super positive and I actually had supply. I'm really hoping things will be different this time around, but I don't realistically think they will be... which makes these dreams really cruel.
As for stretch marks, I got them last time on my side boob, my upper thigh and on my lower/side belly. They faded over time. I am not really seeing them yet. The big difference is that I've been using Earth Mama Belly Butter after showers since the beginning of this pregnancy. I used a regular Aveeno lotion last time just once I got bigger. Who know's what will happen in the next 13 weeks, I know I have a lot of growing out left yet so I'm sure I will end up with some stretch marks.
@m6agua I have some of the Earth Mama Belly Butter too. I like it. I don't know how much it helps or not, but I try to thoroughly moisturize EVERYTHING every time I get out of the shower. It seems a bit much at times, but pregnancy aside, I live somewhere dry and it only gets worse over winter with the wood stove cranking.
I've had fewer stretch marks this pregnancy even though I started a bit bigger and I think it's because I have been obsessively moisturizing my whole body every day, sometimes twice a day, since first trimester because my belly was so itchy. I'm not using anything special, just a generic vaseline intensive care cream. That said, I also can't see much of my thighs anymore so I might have more than I realize!
I'm also not having the weird pregnancy dreams much, for which I am grateful because I had some horrible night terrors with DD. I would wake up standing on the bed with my heart pounding and it would take awhile to pull out of it and calm myself down enough to lay down again.
My nausea has come back this past week on and off so I'm trying to be better about hydration to see if that helps.
I should probably start moisturizing...I haven't been doing anything with my belly. I didn't get stretch marks with DD (I say that as a person who is generally prone to stretch marks) but I do remember occasionally using cocoa butter.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
I had a dream over the weekend that DH took $15k to "invest" in a get rich quick scheme involving chickens. I don't know any more details, but you can bet I was pissed at him for half the day over it lol
I'm starting to have a tiny bit of discomfort in my pelvis when I'm walking. Nothing horrible or concerning, but a little strange and nothing that I experienced with DD1. Overall still feeling generally decent for this stage I think. I could do without the back pain, but it's not horrible either.
Ugh, my stretch marks are starting to grow again, and I think I'm getting more? I literally had my entire bump in purple stripes going every single direction with my second. And that skin did not at all recover, it turned into a flap. I didn't think I could get more marks, but that's what seems to be happening. And I'm so sad, my weight gain is totally out of control, up 3 lbs per week, but I eat small meals, but 4 of them plus a snack. And mostly healthy food, with maybe one treat every couple of days. But if I try to space out my food or eat less per sitting, I get dizzy, light headed, low blood sugar feelings, start being really shaky. And with busted pelvis I can't really exercise to help off-set anything. But every extra pound (I'm definitely already getting close to what my total ideal gain would be) just makes me hurt more.
I'm looking at probably 16 more weeks, and I would prefer 3, just get it over with, lol. I don't enjoy pregnancy much, even though it's worth it, and this one has been the hardest. I'm terrified of the third trimester in ways that I'm not terrified of birth without medication!
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail I'm sorry you're feeling that way! Don't get hung up on the number on the scale (I know it's hard not to). It sounds like you're eating what your body needs. Definitely mention to your doctor that you're concerned about the gain, but take it easy on yourself! ❤
@pourmeanothermocktail I'm sorry you're feeling that way! Don't get hung up on the number on the scale (I know it's hard not to). It sounds like you're eating what your body needs. Definitely mention to your doctor that you're concerned about the gain, but take it easy on yourself! ❤
I wish it were just the number, but with my busted up pelvis, more weight is more pain, so gaining more than I strictly need for baby is physically detrimental to my day to day...
I'm just so overwhelmed with my body not working well at all, and it's hard knowing being sedentary is my only real option with my pelvis, but it also makes me gain more, which hurts my pelvis more. I hate not being able to walk, or take my kids to the park, or really take them anywhere by myself. I hate needing a walker.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail I highly recommend searching for some gentle stretching and exercise videos on youtube. I'm sure there are things you can do for your upper body while seated or lying in a comfortable position that will help you feel better overall. It won't burn the same calories as more intense cardio would, but at least would get your body looser and moving a bit and help you feel a bit less helpless. Start small. For me, because of my problem areas, I start with a few minutes of basic neck stretches (which I can do seated in a chair, on the floor, or standing). Some days, that's all I do, other days I move on from there. But once you find something that you can do, it's a good starting point for a good routine. Good luck. When our bodies don't cooperate and do the things we are used to being able to it really messes with your head. I've had injuries in the past that take months/years of rehab and the hardest part is the head game.
@pirateduck I'm doing some, I'm starting a weekly prenatal yoga class, but my arms are taking a beating using the walker. So stretching yes, exercise no. None of it changes the fact that my husband is gone 10 hours per day, and I can't grocery shop or do serious cooking, or take the kids out on my own. And no stretching is going to slow my weight gain. Like, I hear you on the head game, I'm an athlete and I understand that, but this is way beyond that. I have two small kids who I can't take out of the house who I am with all day. They're stir crazy. And we have shopping stuff that I can't do, and trying to fit shopping in with childcare and work and commute and cooking into my husband's schedule is really hard.
Plus so much cleaning is damn near impossible, and I'm not trying to be a neat freak, just trying to maintain healthy. But my husband is running out of time, and I'm running out of abilities. Bathrooms haven't been cleaned in a month. So I'm going to have to find a way to do it in the next 3 days. But I'm going to suffer physical consequences from it. But the upstairs one can't be done while kids sleep, and my husband gets home only 2 hours before bedtime, on a good day.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail Ugh, I seriously want to hug you (creepy, sorry). How old are your kids again? Any chance you can enlist the oldest to help clean? My 5yo and 3.5yo love to vacuum and mop. I mean, they're not great at it, but it definitely helps. I wouldn't let them do toilets, but maybe your oldest can help with some other things?
@pourmeanothermocktail a few more ideas, that may or may not help... Do any of your local grocery stores offer pickup or delivery options? Either would allow you to shop from home (husbands are great at forgetting the one thing you asked for that you are totally out of) and then it would either be delivered or husband can just pick it all up on his way home from work. This would also save him time and give him more time at home with you to help with things there and get you everything you need from the store. There's another thread on here somewhere about cleaning routines and such and different women had some good tips to help make cleaning a bit better. I know I started following some of the stuff that was suggested and it's made cleaning seem a bit less overwhelming and less time consuming in general.
**TW** On the topic of dreams. Mine have been very dark and relating to early childbirth and loss. They feel so real and make going to sleep scary. I wake up in anguish and it usually takes me a couple of hours to come to grips with the fact it was a dream. Maybe I'm projecting my fears in my dreams, but I would just like one night with a happy dream. Too much to ask?
@ruby696 They're 3.5 and 17 months. Little one not even walking. Bigger one can help with toilet kinda, but neither can do sink or tub, or load/unload dishwasher. Or vacuum. And we have two dogs. So vacuuming every 2-4 weeks is really as far out as I can push it out and it can get kinda gross.
@pirateduck only Walmart does the pickup, and my husband hates it. He wants to pick out his own things and pick his own date on milk. But bigger issue is that that's not even the store we use the most often. and delivery costs are beyond our budget. and for whatever reason my husband is the world's slowest shopper. He won't just go for the 3 things we need, he insists on going down every food aisle in case he's inspired or something. Idk, but he's against the pickup option.
I don't think any tips or tricks is going to really speed up our cleaning. We already have two small messy kids two dogs and I'm broken. We're already doing the total bare minimum. Laundry, dishes, and wipe food off counters and floors is the only thing I can promise gets done before it's a seriously gross thing.
Not looking forward to living in a not-quite-a-pigsty until maybe October. And my husband has been great about picking up so much extra workload, but we're definitely in complete survival mode. Like, the ceiling fans didn't get done this past fall (we do them twice per year even though quarterly would be best!) so they're really bad. But they keep getting pushed back in favor of him making food, or shopping, or taking the kids outside because I can't. It's all frustrating. But I know that the 20 ish min I take to get sink and tub done tomorrow is minimum not perfect cleaning, but necessary. But, it'll hurt. Ugh. But, waiting two weeks will make it seriously gross and even harder to do. Hence, I'm just so done with this pregnancy thing.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail We have dogs too, so I feel you on how gross the floors get and how quickly it happens. I can't imagine dealing with SPD, especially with two kids that young and one not walking. So screw the ceiling fans. Do what you can and let everything else go to hell. I mean, in a year (hopefully) you'll be able to move again and can get back on top of things then.
@pourmeanothermocktail We have dogs too, so I feel you on how gross the floors get and how quickly it happens. I can't imagine dealing with SPD, especially with two kids that young and one not walking. So screw the ceiling fans. Do what you can and let everything else go to hell. I mean, in a year (hopefully) you'll be able to move again and can get back on top of things then.
There's no way to leave the fans that long. There is a huge gross build up. I'm so glad none of us has bad allergies, but the over 1/8" thick of dust/dirt/dog dander on them has to go. It's visibly gross. Again, low standards, but that's beyond them. Like the mildew in the shower I just cleaned.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@mamaclownface I'm sorry about your scary dreams. I would find that super upsetting too.
@pourmeanothermocktail it sounds like you are doing the best you can under the circumstances -- you have a clear idea of what level of deferred cleaning you can live with and what you and your husband can do. I'm sorry you're in so much pain and cooped up all the time. It's hard to be so helpless and with two very young children, one not even walking, I can't imagine. I'm sorry you don't have more local help too.
Sometimes there are local churches or community groups that might welcome the opportunity to come by, drop off some groceries, play with the kids or just have some adult chatting time -- I can say for certain that I know some grandmas with families far away who would love to have some toddlers to smoosh. I don't know if you are looking for ideas or just venting, and I know asking for help can be super hard. But your situation sounds extremely challenging to try to manage without some kind of village.
You can really see this kid moving around the past few days, DS1 thinks it is hilarious and was like "he's trying to escape! I will help you little buddy" meanwhile I am like umm not yet he needs to stay put for now.
@pourmeanothermocktail I'm sorry things are rough right now for you. If it makes you feel any better, we're doing a similarly low level of cleaning and have none of the excuses. Just lazy over here. I think the bare minimum is fine for a while. I second @pirateduck on the extendable ceiling fan duster things though!
@mamaclownface I'm so sorry your dreams have been about such a scary topic and so real. I wonder if any positive imagery or meditation before bed could help guide your dreams in a better direction? Not that I've tried myself, but just an idea.
@mamaj1220 that’s awesome that he wants to help. I don’t know how far back people’s memories go. But I wonder when kids are just a few years old and don’t have as many years of memories as we have as adults if they can actually remember what it was like being an infant or being born or being in the womb. Kinda crazy, but I bet they can!
@pirateduck I think one of those brushes may be in our future, I've never heard of them before. But first, we need to get them back to OK, with wet rags. 2 are over beds, and I'd be terrified a dry brush/duster would just knock chunks of gross all over our blankets this time! But then once they're done, I could get to them more often before they get so bad! I like it.
@allie456 We definitely aren't part of any churches, and don't have close by friends who are either really. It is so hard. I wouldn't know how to even find a community group like that-we're in a semi-rural area, and a small-ish town, 25,000. But I've literally never heard of a thing like that, and I've lived here for most of my life, since it was only 2500 people.
I wish all of the local friends of mine didn't have 3+ kids and crazy schedules so they could help more. I know they WOULD.
My mom should at least be in town from week 36 ish until baby is maybe 6-8 weeks old, so that will help. Just gotta get there. I'm desperate for spring so we can get our outdoor toys out, get our outdoor seating out, and I can at least generally have kids outside in the yard and be with them.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail It sounds like you are doing the best you can. FWIW I have way less excuses than you and I also have neglected a lot of that sort of cleaning. I actually stopped DD's fan from running 24/7 because it was so dusty. I've been meaning to clean it for over 2 weeks. And our master bath... I don't think its been fully cleaned in a year. I mean when it gets bad I will do the toilet, DH does the sink occasionally and rarely I will do the shower when I am in there. Basically I never end up cleaning it all at once, I just do what I can, when I can. When I was going through my health struggles postpartum (lasted from 6 months to 2.25 years) last time my house, chores and healthy meals seriously were put on the back burner. But that is what needed to be done. It's just a phase, it isn't forever.
@m6agua I hear you. I do. but my concerns are that my tub is now too dirty for cleaning kids, and I can't find a way to get it clean. My toilet is stained and smelly and it's our main bathroom. And I can't get it done, my physical abilities give out before I get to them. Been trying to get to it for a month. And the next 3.5-4 months are just going to get progressively harder for me. We have radiant heating, and I sweat like crazy overnight-we need our fans. They're actively disgusting and likely to start making us sick. Like, we're already at crisis levels and can't get it done.
My non-walker has pants covered in dog hair after 15 minutes, but we can't find time to get it done.
I don't think there is a solution, but it is a problem. I'm not trying to find time to do a total immaculate house cleaning or deep clean anything. But I've been unable to manage even the basic must-haves even occasionally. And again, these are things that can't just not get done until maybe September when I might be physically up to it. It sucks to have to be sitting on my couch resting, looking at the house that is borderline dirty enough to cause problems, but even just doing a small part of any of it (5 min) hurts me enough to need another 30 min break.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail - as others have said, you are doing the best you can in tough circumstances. It seems like you're on a tight budget, but maybe you could find a way to bring in a cleaning company for the stuff that's really bothering you, like the ceiling fans. A one-time cleaning can be less expensive than you might think - I've only done it once when we were moving from PNW, but it was a lifesaver to have someone else deal with windows/bathrooms/kitchen while we were packing like crazy. I put the question out in a local mom's group on facebook and was able to connect with a local couple who had a small cleaning business.
Also, how do you clean a ceiling fan that's over a bed? I've never lived in a house with a ceiling fan in the bedroom until buying this one and haven't cleaned it since we moved in last July. It desperately needs it, but I don't even know how to approach it!
@lajoliedreamer I would probably strip the bed of everything except the mattress protector, clean the fan, and then wash the mattress protector. Maybe shake it out outside first.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Thank you @lisush and @allie456 for the kind words. I am going to try some relaxation techniques before bed and see if that helps calm my brain.
@pourmeanothermocktail I know how you feel- it is really easy to get hung up on the numbers on the scale. As for the cleaning, I know its not feasible for everyone, but it may worth looking into bringing in a company or a private individual to perform a one time clean for you. I work for a commercial cleaning company, and cleaning is a lot more affordable than some may think. Especially if you can give them a budget- they will be happy to work with you and maybe at least perform some of the more painful areas to get you a good head start.
@lajoliedreamer I clean the fan when I plan on washing the bedding. So I clean the fan first trying not to let too much dust drop. But if something drops then I am washing the bedding anyway! Sometimes when it is really bad I will take a wet wash cloth or swiffer to the blade while holding a small trash can under to catch stuff.
Ugh, the leg cramps are horrible! I had them all the time with DD and this pregnancy I have thankfully been able to stop them before they get excruciating by changing the angle of my foot and massaging, but expect that they will pick up last trimester. I used to wake up swearing from the pain. I'm sorry you're dealing with them, @empiricalnarwhal!
Thanks for the tips on cleaning the ceiling fan, @catem07 and @m6agua!
For the fans over beds, I usually put a throw blanket over the bed, and use wet rags, lots (depending on dirt level) of them. When the dirt gets damp it generally doesn't fall-it sticks to rag. And then throw the throw blanket into wash.
Our budget currently includes zero extras. Our fun budget is down to next to nothing, like $20 a month. I was supposed to be working starting a few months ago, but it's on my feet work, so I didn't take the job once I was surprise pregnant. My husband has been trying to get a new position for over a year as his current benefits suck and job pays below median wage for his job in our area. Plus our insurance just went up every month. We had to buy a new car a year and a half ago when our second was born, and were counting on my wages starting last Sept. to cover car payment right now, and our upcoming tax return to pay it off and open things up. But now we're obviously super behind on that plan, our tax return is covering upcoming birth, and my husband is still covering all our bills alone. We had to drop the idea of badly needed couples therapy as we can't afford it. We were gifted this baby's car seat, thankfully, but just had to replace our oldest's second car seat, he out grew his previous one. Even a $50 cleaning (which I'm sure is less than it would cost for an entire bathroom, plus the fans and a total vacuum) would be beyond our means. And even a one- time clean would only help now, it's still going to be a recurring issue once a month until I'm back on my feet, sometime this year I hope.
It's just all really frustrating. To know that just a couple hundred dollars here or there would make a huge difference in our lives, but have it completely out of reach-yet having our insurance rising because my husband got a tiny raise last year. The insurance increase completely removed the added raise.
Fyi-our current hiring system in this country that favors phone screenings and interviews before an in-person interview, even for careers where you'd nearly never be on the phone with clients, etc, is very limiting and places a barrier on job growth for people who are otherwise very good at their jobs but have minor speech impediments. It's not at all an easy to overcome obstacle.
eta for typos
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@mamaclownface I was recommended two different relaxation apps. They both offer free trials, but do require a monthly fee once the trial is up. One is called "calm" and was recommended by one of my nurses. Another, which is similar but geared specifically towards pregnancy is called "expectful." Both have short meditations, soothing music etc. to try and wind down and incorporate into your routine.
@mamaj1220 yes!! These boys are totally crazy in my belly, and it seriously looks like I’ve got aliens inside me trying to bust out! They are almost constantly moving anytime I’m relaxing!
I have a cold, and I’m totally being a baby about it. It’s so super mild, and not pregnant it likely wouldn’t even phase me. But I swear every single time I cough these babies revolt and attack me from the inside 🤣
@bender29, I bet they are playing inside-how cute!
@empiricalnarwhal, I agree, add a bit more bananas, cantaloupe, dried fruis, broccoli to your diet, if you haven’t already. I also got tons of cramps in my calves with my first pregnancy, maybe second pregnancy we are less prone? I shouldn't claim victory until the end of my pregnancy...
I feel tightness on my belly, could be BH or maybe baby pushing out (back facing) to one side? It’s so localized that it makes me think it’s the baby.
******TW******Siggy warning BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d; BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
@randic22 I didn’t have much for nausea in the first trimester, but man, I go from zero to starving in less than 60 seconds, and if I don’t eat immediately I get so sick that I can’t eat!
Re: February Symptoms
Also yes to the stretch marks everywhere. I've had stretch marks since I was a teenager, so I don't seem to have new ones but my old ones are stretching out again.
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
As for stretch marks, I got them last time on my side boob, my upper thigh and on my lower/side belly. They faded over time. I am not really seeing them yet. The big difference is that I've been using Earth Mama Belly Butter after showers since the beginning of this pregnancy. I used a regular Aveeno lotion last time just once I got bigger. Who know's what will happen in the next 13 weeks, I know I have a lot of growing out left yet so I'm sure I will end up with some stretch marks.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I'm also not having the weird pregnancy dreams much, for which I am grateful because I had some horrible night terrors with DD. I would wake up standing on the bed with my heart pounding and it would take awhile to pull out of it and calm myself down enough to lay down again.
My nausea has come back this past week on and off so I'm trying to be better about hydration to see if that helps.
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
I'm starting to have a tiny bit of discomfort in my pelvis when I'm walking. Nothing horrible or concerning, but a little strange and nothing that I experienced with DD1. Overall still feeling generally decent for this stage I think. I could do without the back pain, but it's not horrible either.
I'm looking at probably 16 more weeks, and I would prefer 3, just get it over with, lol. I don't enjoy pregnancy much, even though it's worth it, and this one has been the hardest. I'm terrified of the third trimester in ways that I'm not terrified of birth without medication!
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I'm just so overwhelmed with my body not working well at all, and it's hard knowing being sedentary is my only real option with my pelvis, but it also makes me gain more, which hurts my pelvis more. I hate not being able to walk, or take my kids to the park, or really take them anywhere by myself. I hate needing a walker.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Plus so much cleaning is damn near impossible, and I'm not trying to be a neat freak, just trying to maintain healthy. But my husband is running out of time, and I'm running out of abilities. Bathrooms haven't been cleaned in a month. So I'm going to have to find a way to do it in the next 3 days. But I'm going to suffer physical consequences from it. But the upstairs one can't be done while kids sleep, and my husband gets home only 2 hours before bedtime, on a good day.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pirateduck only Walmart does the pickup, and my husband hates it. He wants to pick out his own things and pick his own date on milk. But bigger issue is that that's not even the store we use the most often. and delivery costs are beyond our budget. and for whatever reason my husband is the world's slowest shopper. He won't just go for the 3 things we need, he insists on going down every food aisle in case he's inspired or something. Idk, but he's against the pickup option.
I don't think any tips or tricks is going to really speed up our cleaning. We already have two small messy kids two dogs and I'm broken. We're already doing the total bare minimum. Laundry, dishes, and wipe food off counters and floors is the only thing I can promise gets done before it's a seriously gross thing.
Not looking forward to living in a not-quite-a-pigsty until maybe October. And my husband has been great about picking up so much extra workload, but we're definitely in complete survival mode. Like, the ceiling fans didn't get done this past fall (we do them twice per year even though quarterly would be best!) so they're really bad. But they keep getting pushed back in favor of him making food, or shopping, or taking the kids outside because I can't. It's all frustrating. But I know that the 20 ish min I take to get sink and tub done tomorrow is minimum not perfect cleaning, but necessary. But, it'll hurt. Ugh. But, waiting two weeks will make it seriously gross and even harder to do. Hence, I'm just so done with this pregnancy thing.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail it sounds like you are doing the best you can under the circumstances -- you have a clear idea of what level of deferred cleaning you can live with and what you and your husband can do. I'm sorry you're in so much pain and cooped up all the time. It's hard to be so helpless and with two very young children, one not even walking, I can't imagine. I'm sorry you don't have more local help too.
Sometimes there are local churches or community groups that might welcome the opportunity to come by, drop off some groceries, play with the kids or just have some adult chatting time -- I can say for certain that I know some grandmas with families far away who would love to have some toddlers to smoosh. I don't know if you are looking for ideas or just venting, and I know asking for help can be super hard. But your situation sounds extremely challenging to try to manage without some kind of village.
@mamaclownface I'm so sorry your dreams have been about such a scary topic and so real. I wonder if any positive imagery or meditation before bed could help guide your dreams in a better direction? Not that I've tried myself, but just an idea.
@allie456 We definitely aren't part of any churches, and don't have close by friends who are either really. It is so hard. I wouldn't know how to even find a community group like that-we're in a semi-rural area, and a small-ish town, 25,000. But I've literally never heard of a thing like that, and I've lived here for most of my life, since it was only 2500 people.
I wish all of the local friends of mine didn't have 3+ kids and crazy schedules so they could help more. I know they WOULD.
My mom should at least be in town from week 36 ish until baby is maybe 6-8 weeks old, so that will help. Just gotta get there. I'm desperate for spring so we can get our outdoor toys out, get our outdoor seating out, and I can at least generally have kids outside in the yard and be with them.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019My non-walker has pants covered in dog hair after 15 minutes, but we can't find time to get it done.
I don't think there is a solution, but it is a problem. I'm not trying to find time to do a total immaculate house cleaning or deep clean anything. But I've been unable to manage even the basic must-haves even occasionally. And again, these are things that can't just not get done until maybe September when I might be physically up to it. It sucks to have to be sitting on my couch resting, looking at the house that is borderline dirty enough to cause problems, but even just doing a small part of any of it (5 min) hurts me enough to need another 30 min break.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Also, how do you clean a ceiling fan that's over a bed? I've never lived in a house with a ceiling fan in the bedroom until buying this one and haven't cleaned it since we moved in last July. It desperately needs it, but I don't even know how to approach it!
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
@pourmeanothermocktail I know how you feel- it is really easy to get hung up on the numbers on the scale. As for the cleaning, I know its not feasible for everyone, but it may worth looking into bringing in a company or a private individual to perform a one time clean for you. I work for a commercial cleaning company, and cleaning is a lot more affordable than some may think. Especially if you can give them a budget- they will be happy to work with you and maybe at least perform some of the more painful areas to get you a good head start.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Thanks for the tips on cleaning the ceiling fan, @catem07 and @m6agua!
Our budget currently includes zero extras. Our fun budget is down to next to nothing, like $20 a month. I was supposed to be working starting a few months ago, but it's on my feet work, so I didn't take the job once I was surprise pregnant. My husband has been trying to get a new position for over a year as his current benefits suck and job pays below median wage for his job in our area. Plus our insurance just went up every month. We had to buy a new car a year and a half ago when our second was born, and were counting on my wages starting last Sept. to cover car payment right now, and our upcoming tax return to pay it off and open things up. But now we're obviously super behind on that plan, our tax return is covering upcoming birth, and my husband is still covering all our bills alone. We had to drop the idea of badly needed couples therapy as we can't afford it. We were gifted this baby's car seat, thankfully, but just had to replace our oldest's second car seat, he out grew his previous one. Even a $50 cleaning (which I'm sure is less than it would cost for an entire bathroom, plus the fans and a total vacuum) would be beyond our means. And even a one- time clean would only help now, it's still going to be a recurring issue once a month until I'm back on my feet, sometime this year I hope.
It's just all really frustrating. To know that just a couple hundred dollars here or there would make a huge difference in our lives, but have it completely out of reach-yet having our insurance rising because my husband got a tiny raise last year. The insurance increase completely removed the added raise.
Fyi-our current hiring system in this country that favors phone screenings and interviews before an in-person interview, even for careers where you'd nearly never be on the phone with clients, etc, is very limiting and places a barrier on job growth for people who are otherwise very good at their jobs but have minor speech impediments. It's not at all an easy to overcome obstacle.
eta for typos
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I have a cold, and I’m totally being a baby about it. It’s so super mild, and not pregnant it likely wouldn’t even phase me. But I swear every single time I cough these babies revolt and attack me from the inside 🤣
@empiricalnarwhal, I agree, add a bit more bananas, cantaloupe, dried fruis, broccoli to your diet, if you haven’t already. I also got tons of cramps in my calves with my first pregnancy, maybe second pregnancy we are less prone? I shouldn't claim victory until the end of my pregnancy...
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
Anyone else have the return of first trimester nausea? I've been waking up feeling like crap the past week or so🤢