UO Thursday 1/30

shamrocandroll

Since @mamaqdubu's UO last week led to some really good debate/conversation around here (nice work, haha!), I figured I'd see what you ladies got this week!

pourmeanothermocktail

I find "doing hair" and makeup totally extra.  I think it's fine for other people, but that time and money just stresses me out. Plus then I have to spend more time and effort washing my face and hair, and it doesn't make me feel prettier generally. Just uncomfortable. 

catem07

I'm going to take this in a slightly different direction and see if you can help me gauge if this is unpopular behavior.

The previous homeowner had something from stitchfix delivered here 5 months after she moved out. I don't have her contact information. I'm not that invested in making sure she's not charged for this. I have a job and a toddler and I'm pregnant. I tried to call stitchfix but they don't have a phone number. I don't want to fill out their contact us form or email them. I did tweet at them. No response. 

Today I got yet another package for her. This one was clearly shipped via UPS. I was on my way to Staples today anyway so I threw it in the car. Turns out because Staples isn't full service UPS they couldn't do a return to sender (this package was also something ordered, it wasn't a friend that still just had her old address or something like that). 

I am not going to do anymore to resolve either of these situations, but would you if you were in my situation? I know what else I could do (get in touch with the realtor, etc.) so I'm not looking for those kinds of suggestions. 

mamaqdubu

@pourmeanothermocktail I work from home so on 90% of days i feel the same, but when i actually do have time, or i'm traveling for work, I enjoy feeling "primped" and getting out of leggings and a pony tail. 

m6agua

@catem07 Ugh that is so annoying! We've owned our house for almost 5 years now and still get mail for the previous family. Most of the time I think it is junk mail, but the past 2 years we've gotten some Christmas cards for them. I do have their current address and have put notes to forward to the correct address when I think it is something possibly important. Last year I just dropped the Christmas cards off in their mail box. This year I did nothing, I threw the Christmas cards away.

Anyways I don't really have any advice other than if it was USPS putting it near your mailbox with a large note that says return to sender, this person doesn't live here. What did you end up doing with the first package, do you still have it, throw it away, use it, etc.? I guess I would go to a UPS store and do the same with the current package.

emlettuce

@catem07 we moved a year ago and a few months later got a package from the dollar shave club for the old owner. We proceeded to put it out of the way and ignore it. Probably not the best answer. However recently we received a W-2 for someone who is not even the previous owner and I wrote return to sender on it but the post office gave it back to us. Guess I'll have to go there in person for that one.

catem07

USPS mail is easier, that I definitely write "return to sender" and pop it back in the box.

heyybritt

@catem07 I feel like this person probably eventually realizes they sent it to the wrong address? And contacts the company regarding that. I've definitely ordered to an old address before and realized it pretty quickly and that's what I did. I think I would put the box in my car and if I went to UPS anyway I'd take it in but wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to do it 🤷🏾‍♀️

pirateduck

@catem07 if it was me, I'd take the package to the UPS store or post office (depending where it came from) when next convenient for me (I got like once a week to check our PO box already) and ask them to return to sender or tell them no such person lives at this address, but I wouldn't do anything beyond that.  I'd count on UPS or USPS or whatever to correct their records to reflect that no such person lives there and do whatever it is they are meant to with any packages for that person.  If the person is looking for their package they will do what they need to on their end to get refunded or have it resent and fix their address etc.  It's not your responsibility.

pourmeanothermocktail

@mamaqdubu Whatever works for you momma. Getting primped and such is just stressful and uncomfortable here. Having my thick long hair up pulls and causes head aches. Having it down it just gets in my face. I feel all makeup on my face, always. 

I have hyper sensory stuff, like I feel nail polish, even cheap thin stuff, on my nails. Even a light powder on my face, or a bit of eye shadow, I feel it all, constantly. 

When I leave the house I'll try to make sure I'm wearing my nicer, cuter, and clean yoga pants and comfy top, and that my hair is brushed and pulled back neatly. That's it, lol!

@catem07 As someone who has moved a lot and had people continue to send stuff to wrong address, even after I corrected them several times, I do try a bit to get things back to them. We have a Fedex and UPS store nearby, and calling realtor to get boxes out of my house is something I would do. I wouldn't be interested in spend a lot of money trying to resolve it, but I'm pro-effort, even considering my two kids at home and physical challenges. But, I'd feel unable to throw or give the stuff away, and having extra boxes in my house or car is a stressor for me-maybe because I've moved too much, but idk, it's irritating to me. 

I also though, if I were the person that the boxes belong too, wouldn't expect the new occupant (you) to work very harm to return things either. I'd expect to need to contact YOU and pick things up or pay for further shipment. 

soprano19

@pourmeanothermocktail I used to feel the same way when I was growing up, a lot because my mom wasn't particularly "fashionable" or invested in her appearance and therefore never taught me how to choose or apply makeup, dress my body in a flattering way, or take care of my curly and difficult-to-manage hair. By the time I finished high school I hated the way I looked every single day, so over time (throughout college and for several years after) I learned all those things on my own and I spend time on them every single day. For me it's 100% about feeling good about what I see in the mirror, because if I feel like I look my best, I live my life more confidently. I do wish I could find ways for the routine to take less time, but it's worth the trade-off IMO. More power and respect to you and anyone else who already has that inherent confidence in themselves.

pirateduck

@pourmeanothermocktail I relatively recently cut off all my hair, like more than 12 inches and went from hair almost down to my waist to hair roughly at my chin.  I went to a new girl I had never seen before.  I had some pictures but trusted her and said to please take into account the type of hair I have and if it can't work in this style please let me know and help me find something suitable for my hair type.  She asked some questions about my hair care routine, how often I wash, blow dry, what products I have/use, do I have a flat irons or curling wand, etc.  I told her I am a night shower person and I do not blow dry my hair and go to bed with wet hair more nights than not, and that will likely never change.  She said, so you just expect a haircut where you wake up in the morning and roll out of bed and it automatically looks good every day even if you don't even brush it (I don't even know where my brush is!), and I said yes, exactly!  I know this is a tall order and not 100% realistic, but it's how I roll, and if my hair dries funny, I find a way to clip it down with bobby pins or wear a hat or something.  I must say I am impressed though, she did a good job and it never got weird even as it grew in.  It clearly looks better if I take time to style it, but it's not the end of the world when I don't (most days of the week).

pourmeanothermocktail

@soprano19 If it feels good to you, on it, make it a priority! I grew up with people who care about appearance, especially outside the house, who do at least some makeup every day, and have a hair routine. And trendy clothes. I let them buy me clothes! But for me, it's not about confidence, it's that putting in the effort and being done up is physically uncomfortable. It's weird, but it's true. 

@pirateduck I totally hear you and get you. I have learned, through massive trial and error that for my hair type and a night shower, air dry ideals, there are exactly two low maintenance hair style options. Either buzzed all over, or straight cut off below shoulders, and I put into a loose braid. Pros and cons for both. Buzzed cons are being called a dude, and having to do upkeep at home (too broke for stylist) every 5-7 weeks, which makes a mess and takes a lot of time and effort-especially the clean up in the house after it! Cons for long is I have to spend longer washing it, and I do have to brush it and braid it twice daily, but washing is still only once per week, and just adds maybe 4 min over buzzed, and the brush and braid is about 2 min total twice per day. So I alternate between the two. And hate it for about a year while it grows out. But every 2-3 years I donate 25" and buzz it off, lol. I wish anything in the pixie length would work for me, but my super wavy super thick hair won't do that without either being a total poofy mushroom head, or a ton of product and effort. Ew. 

pirateduck

@pourmeanothermocktail I've had a lot of really short hair styles in the past, and overall found really short hair to be more upkeep because it would grow out weird in between styles, and seemed to require more actual styling to look right (for many of the short cuts), and if you sleep on it you can wake up with it sticking straight out in every direction but the one you actually want.  That's how my hair ended up so long because I could just braid it or tie it up easily.  I think I finally found a short cut that is working for my hair type for now, but you are right, not all hair styles are for all types and some require way more maintenance than others just to look normal.

thepretzelchick

@catem07 I'd take the package to UPS to have it returned, but nothing beyond that. We get mail on occasion for the immediately previous owners 3 years later, but the most previous owner mail comes for the couple before them: Brandon Blackstock and Kelly Clarkson. At least once a week we get stuff (nothing seemingly important, but still worth a chuckle) for Brandon, Kelly, Brandon's first wife, and even Reba McIntyre (who is Brandon's stepmom). Mail could get forwarded when Kelly was still living in the next town over, but that house is up for sale and I don't have the address for the new place. 

pourmeanothermocktail

@pirateduck If I could just get roughly half of my hair follicles to shut off, I'd be good. I have TOO MUCH VOLUME so if it's not long which weighs it down, it just goes up. And with our hair care budget of like $50 for the family for the year, lol, even if there is one multi-layer complicated cut out there that would work, I can't do it, because if I or my husband can't do the trimming ourselves, it's outside our means. 

I actually have so much hair that I grew out a Mohawk with the sides still buzzed super short, and had a 1.5" thick ponytail from it. I wish I could donate hair follicles!!

ruby696

@catem07 I think it depends what you're doing with the stuff. I would not want to be in a situation where she was charged and then finds out I've kept it for myself. I think if she cared enough to pursue it, you could find yourself in some trouble for that. Personally, if I owed $500 for clothes I didn't get and found out another person kept them, I would fight like hell not to pay the money. 

bananapanda

@pourmeanothermocktail I'm also not much for getting made up.  I have long straight hair the same style I've basically had forever because it's easy.  If I go 6 months+ without a haircut you can barely tell.  I shower at night and then just spray my hair damp and dry in the morning for a few minutes.  I spend <5 minutes on makeup just a little powder and some eyeliner and mascara, but if nothing heavy and if I skipped it most people probably wouldn't realize.  I think it's partially because that's how I grew up where we just weren't that fussy with hair and makeup so I never learned all these fancy tricks but also I see it as a waste of time for me, personally.  I get bored drying my hair more than 2 minutes and have no patience, and I would rather be sleeping than spending forever on makeup so I just roll with it.

@catem07 I probably wouldn't put that much effort into returning the items either.  I think it falls on the previous owner to reach out to you if she is concerned.  If it required very minimal effort I would drop off at UPS or wherever was appropriate, but I doubt I would do much beyond that.

catem07

@ruby696 Yeah, right now the stuff is still in their boxes. Maybe I'll give it two months before tossing. I can't imagine using any of it in good conscience unless I had reached out to the company and they said they'd remove the charge from the person's account. 

m6agua

Not sure how many sports people there are here, but thinking it may be an UO.

I'm really excited for the Super Bowl this weekend! I love football, while I'm sad my team lost and isn't in it this year I am still excited to watch the game, commercials, eat wings and hang out at home.

pirateduck

@m6agua I am the opposite...  I don't even know who is in the super bowl or that it was this weekend    I knew it was soon though!

emlettuce

@m6agua DH and I are football hypocrites. We stopped watching regular season games because of the research about how damaging the head injuries are to players. But we still watch the super bowl and are hosting a party this year.

shamrocandroll

@m6agua I'm excited too, even though my team isn't in it.  I just like watching football.  And the snacks, commercials, and halftime show make it feel more fun.  

jrouge12

@pourmeanothermocktail Until my mid twenties I was not a makeup person, so I get that opinion. Once I started teaching I found I needed the self esteem booster (just for me) to face students everyday. MS/HS kids don't filter their comments. I'd rather put concealer on a zit then hear 300 times a day that I have a giant zit. I just got to your comments about how uncomfortable make up is for you. I get it. I've started more recently making sure to explain to female students especially  who comment negatively on a girl's/women's  make up that we need to support all women, and build each other up. 

@pirateduck @m6agua I'm in it for the wings and commercials! I'll root for whoever my friends or family want to win.

catem07

I don't care about football and my husband's team isn't in it, but I really want pigs in a blanket and that seems like an appropriate event for them. 

lajoliedreamer

I'm all for low maintenance too. My mom does make-up and hairstyle everyday, but I could never get into that. Also, H is very sensitive to scents so I have to be careful what I put on or else he won't be kissing me. If I do anything for special occasions, it's eye make-up with my chapstick. I tend to go through cycles with my hair, but all low maintenance - either long or pixie cut. I've been thinking about chopping it again, but can't even imagine having to go to a hair salon often enough for the upkeep at this stage in my life so I think I'm keeping it long for the foreseeable future. 

I'd return to sender on the packages, even if it was out of the way to get to a UPS store, but that's just because the guilt of holding onto the boxes would creep in at random times for the rest of my life.

@emlettuce - I used to work for a nonprofit that would get participant mail to the office. When a participant left the program we would return all mail to sender after a month and I found that if I didn't cross out the scan line on the envelope it would come back to us most of the time because their machine would just scan and sort it back to our post office, even with the name/address crossed out and return to sender written on it. Maybe you could try that with the W-2 you received to avoid having to go in?

@thepretzelchick - am I the only one who noticed that you get mail for celebrities? You also left occupation off your roll call; a fact which, when combined with your celebrity mail, makes me curious, but I respect your right to privacy.
(I hope that came off in the teasing way it was meant and not accusatory or creepy!)

I grew up around football parties and going to games, but it was always more social than really getting into the game, though I did gain a solid understanding of it. DH doesn't care about football at all and I just keep track of my team by checking scores weekly during the season, but don't care enough to watch any games. My team did not make it to the Superbowl, but I'm passively rooting for the Chiefs and will probably make wings even though I'm not watching the game because it makes me want them!

mamaqdubu

@m6agua we watch a lot of football here and are in a lot of fantasy football leagues. my boys will NOT be allowed to play, but i still find it entertaining. I just wish they would be better about quantifying the head injury risks so they can make some changes to the game. 

catem07

I cannot stand the use of the word female as a noun.

m6agua

@lajoliedreamer I think @thepretzelchick mentioned once before that she lived in or near Kelly Clarkson's old house. I forgot about it until this post and then remembered when I read her comment.

soprano19

@m6agua the Niners are our team, so definitely watching over here!

m6agua

@soprano19 Packers are our team, I'm still sad. But the Niners deserved to win that game, they played better.

lajoliedreamer

@m6agua - I must have missed that one! 

pourmeanothermocktail

We don't get TV channels so we can't watch football at home (and can't afford or manage two small kids at a bar!) but we do watch the super bowl via live stream every year. Love the commercials, and after 8 years in marching band, it's natural to watch the game, but also the commercials.

lajoliedreamer

@pourmeanothermocktail - another band geek! What did you play? I was in the pit and played the cymbals or glockenspiel at football games.

eta football game reference.

heyybritt

@emlettuce we stopped watching for that reason as well butttt since the niners are in I kind of want to watch, we'll see if I can get MH on board.

pourmeanothermocktail

lajoliedreamer said:

@pourmeanothermocktail - another band geek! What did you play? I was in the pit and played the cymbals or glockenspiel at football games.

eta football game reference.

I was the consummate band geek. Clarinet, Bass clarinet, Contra Bass Clarinet, tenor and Bari Sax, Flute, Trumpet, Trombone, and Baritone. I mostly marched Baritone. But I was in the Pit Band (like under the stage during musicals), Pep Band, Concert Band, Marching Band, and two different Jazz bands in high school, then Concert, Pep, and Marching Band in college. Because that's where I met my friends/drinking buddies, and eventual husband, SIL, BIL, and best friend. Our kids will learn at least one instrument. It's ddptgmdd

lajoliedreamer

Love it! I did concert band, wind ensemble, and marching band in HS then joined the community band my freshman year in college. When I transferred colleges it was to a school with an actual music program which I wasn't part of so i couldn't be in the band there. My kids won't be able to escape instruments either. DD is already all about instruments and has her own ukulele and bongos as well as messes around with my glockenspiel, myriad of percussion instruments, and a hand-me-down electric keyboard. 

emlettuce

@heyybritt DH was talking to his cousin over Christmas about how neither watch anymore but his cousin's reasoning was that there were too many safety rules these days 

peachnectarine

I just watch for the commercials, but every year I’m disappointed because I have such high expectations for them. 

mamaj1220

Well I guess my UO is that DS is playing football. He has been asking a lot and I like to let him try out what he wants, I danced for 13 years because my mom wanted me to and I hated it so I don't want him to feel that way. It is not tackle yet so I might change my mind but we are a huge football/baseball house. 

newmomtx06

I love watching the Super Bowl. My team isn’t in it, but I love the atmosphere, the  food, the people, and of course the commercials. 

I only recently started doing my hair and make up. Once I started stay at home, I definitely let my appearance fall by the wayside and I felt it in my confidence. Now I just put on foundation and some mascara  and I feel much better.