TW Tuesday 1/21

ruby696

Who's annoying you today?

ruby696

The baristas at Starbucks pissed me off this morning. I got there at 6:30, all the lights were on, a cart full of pastries was out to stock the display case, and a broom and dustpan were laying haphazardly on the floor. I waited for 10 minutes with a couple of homeless people, before I started to call the police dept. Cause hello, it looked like they'd been robbed or something and I watch Dateline, so I was thinking people were tied up in the back or something. I decided that first I would call another Starbucks - I got someone on the phone and I started telling them what going on, in case there was someone they could call. In the middle of that call, two employees came rushing up, laughing about a family emergency. They opened up and I ordered my coffee (because I would like to poop at some point this week), and then asked for a breakfast sandwich because I need to eat eggs for protein. So here's where I'm really pissed - they couldn't give me a breakfast sandwich because the ovens weren't warm and I was already getting close to being late to work. Dammit, I am pregnant with twins who are sucking the life out of me and I NEED A BREAKFAST SANDWICH. Then, as I was leaving, one guys phone alarm started beeping and he laughed and said, "Well, its working. Guess I should be starting my shift now." So basically what I took from that was the emergency was the one went to get the other because his alarm didn't go off in time. 

So now I'm eating yogurt for breakfast. They're lucky I didn't call police and I hope the other store calls their district manager to tell them they weren't open at 6:30.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just still so annoyed.

Eta: grammar 

shamrocandroll

The temperature at daycare wasn't up to the minimum standard, and I had to leave in the middle of my monthly team meeting to go pick up DS.  I have him parked in front of the TV while I try to finish up my meeting, and they told me they hope to have the temperature back up again by noon.  So my TW is the weather and crappy heat at daycare, I guess.

ruby696

@shamrocandroll That would make me so mad, especially since, if your daycare is like mine, they're not going to reimburse you for half a day. Our daycare was closed nine days because of wildfire smoke and we didn't get reimbursed for any of it. Such bs.

drkoyya

@ruby696 That’s extremely annoying, I would’ve went off on someone. Isn’t Starbucks suppose to open at like 4:30/5? Dealing with that at 6:30 would’ve set me off. 

shamrocandroll

@ruby696 Actually the director already emailed me and informed me I can deduct a whole day's tuition from my next payment, without my asking!  I was really surprised!  It's super inconvenient, but this is the first time this has happened in the 3 years we've gone there (which is weird because it's not the coldest day we've had) and they're working on a backup plan with the town fire marshal today so that it doesn't happen again.  So the staff is being very proactive about it, at least.  They also told me to call them at noon to see if the temperature has come back up, and if it does, I can bring him back.  So really it was just the timing that really sucked because I was smack in the middle of a very important meeting with my whole department.

ruby696

@drkoyya Yes!! And it's irritating that I was able to get up and get ready on time so could go to Starbucks instead of cooking (because who wants to cook and do dishes at 6:00am??), but they couldn't get it together. I was seriously thinking the worst because of the condition of the store.

@shamrocandroll Well your daycare is awesome in that regard! That's great you're getting a tuition break - and that's really how it should be. Sorry your day went kind of sideways though.

jrouge12

@ruby696 I probably would have cried if had pumped myself up for a breakfast sandwich. 

@shamrocandroll That's awesome they'll deduct the payment. The school I work is has terrible heating. Somedays classrooms are below 60 while other rooms are above 90. They have yet to send us home though!

My TW is my RLP today. I'm having to pack up my classroom to eventually move to a different one. I keep having to sit and rest but then my motivation goes right out the window. 

pourmeanothermocktail

I have worked fast food and restaurants many times and I'm always sure apologetic about time related oops things. That's annoying.

My TW is the string of colds that I've gotten since October. I'm so done with coughing and sinus pressure and snot. Ditto for the kids. Ick.

ruby696

@pourmeanothermocktail Me too! I just want to get better and I'm so over these back to back colds.

tj_2

My TW is the insane case of Acid Reflux I've been dealing with the past few days. I've never experienced it before and now it won't let up. I don't want to research a new meal plan based on this annoyance. 

In good news, I get to see the baby at my doctors appointment today

catem07

My husband is in a wedding in October (the 5th wedding he will have been in, and his brother isn't married yet so there will be another one at some point) and the groom is making them buy $400 suits! That's just outrageous to me. I am so irritated about it. Plus the bachelor party is in a pace that is hard to get to. 

miss_lynn9

My coworker doesn't actually read his emails. I'll ask a question about A and he will respond about Z. If there is more than one sentence in the email, he will only read the the first sentence. If I put two questions in, he will only ever respond to the first one. He emailed me today with a list of vague issues that I didn't understand so I tried to make it easy by putting my 3 question in point form and of course he only half answered the first one and didn't respond to the other 3. And it's a question I've asked 3 times already. I'm implementing a new program and he was having issues with it, I put in a fix, asked him to test it and asked if he had any issues with the program. His response was, no only the one I talked to you about the other day. That issue the other day had nothing to do with it. I asked him again to clarify, he responded no, no issues. So I clarified again, "so that (specific issue) you were having problems with is fixed? I can go ahead and tell the developers were good to buy the program? His response, oh no I didn't test it. So I set it up for testing again and again vague responses and no answering of my questions. I want to bang my head against the wall. Guess I'm going to have to test the damn thing myself to get my answers. 🤯

I really needed to rant apparently lol. 

mamaj1220

Does everyone count as an answer? 

heyybritt

@mamaj1220 this is how I'm feeling today too 😂

pirateduck

@catem07 there's got to be a way a suit can be rented and no one will know the difference.  That's absurd.

ruby696

@catem07 No way would I pay $400 for a suit. MH and I would have words because he would feel like he should suck it up and I have no problem saying I guess I can't be in the wedding because I have a baby on the way. I'm not sure which of us would win that battle....

bananapanda

@jess09lynn I feel like that's a guy thing as far as casual conversations, but you would think (hope) they would be better at work! I know with MH I can't text him 2 questions in one or he will only answer one. It's especially great if they are both yes/no questions and he only responds with a yes or no without clarifying what he is even answering so now I've realized I can only ask one at a time, wait on a response, and then ask another. Frustrating!

catem07

@pirateduck It's some custom order bullshit from Men's Warehouse. Apparently it cannot be rented. Now do not confuse custom order with custom-made like I did at first, because the email also said something about alterations. I basically said, "You'll be paying for alterations over my dead body."

@ruby696 One of the annoying things is that the bride and groom are paying for the wedding party's hotel rooms which is cool and all except we have THREE different friends with guest rooms we could stay with in that city (and the wedding isn't even at the hotel, so there's really no reason to stay there). We're considering asking if they would not pay for our room and instead put the money towards the suit but my husband doesn't really know how to bring that up...He's also considering bagging the bachelor party to save the money but that's the most fun part of the whole thing, and I'd feel a little guilty if he did that since we don't have a lot of friends locally so it will be a unique social outlet. Also I'm thinking about not going to save money on the flight. If I went I'm not sure what I'd do with baby anyway, so maybe it's just as well. 

mamaj1220

@heyybritt lol glad I am not alone and really for no reason, I mean I took the day off because I was like I am in a mood and not fit to be around people so that was nice but I spent most of it up at the hospital with my dad not feeling well. 

mamaj1220

Also @catem07 that is bullshit, if you want something custom like that you should be willing to help pay for it IMO.

pirateduck

@catem07 the reason for the same hotel is a few things probably.  One is getting ready the day of the wedding.  The wedding I was in all the women met in one of the hotel rooms and the hair/makeup artist met there.  We then all left together for photos and arrived at the same time.  I'm sure this was less stress for the bride and groom knowing where everyone was and that they were present and accounted for.  The wedding was not at the hotel.  The other thing that made it fun was the after party.  I think we had just as much, if not more, fun at the hotel than the actual reception.  As members of the wedding party we also helped with things like transporting gifts, and anything else, between the reception hall and the hotel to be loaded in the bride/groom's vehicles.

It would be worth mentioning that the suit is not really in your budget with the baby on the way and see what sort of solutions they come up with.  I can't help but think you are the only one that finds $400 a bit much.  Maybe all the groomsmen are thinking the same thing and afraid to speak up.

shamrocandroll

My new TW is my boss.  We had my goal setting meeting today (which I called into from home with my 3 year old running around like a crazy person the whole 2 hours), and I've been VERY clear to him that I will be less than 3/4 of a resource this year, and thought he understood... but today he was really pushing back hard on that, and I'm feeling really frustrated and discouraged because he just doesn't seem to understand being a working parent because his whole life is work and his wife did all of the parenting.  He said something about being able to work on one of the goals at home, and I said HELL NO because I will not be doing ANY work while on maternity leave because I won't have time and IT'S ILLEGAL, and he was like "Oh yeah, I forgot."  I'm just annoyed because I feel like he's not ever going to fully accept that I'm a working mom and I'm never going to eat, breathe, and sleep work like he does.  

pourmeanothermocktail

@catem07 Yeah, no. 4 month old baby at home, flights for 3 (I always get baby their own seat so they can nap in car seat), plus either renting a car or a million cabs/ubers AND a $400 suit purchase? 

How good of a friend? Because that's just piling it on. Do you know how the other groomsmen feel about the suit thing? I mean, the only nice part is at least he has a new suit at home after-but that isn't worth it for most people. MH had to buy a suit and shirt for one wedding, but it was a JC Penny's, and I think it was $120 total (just shirt, tie, vest, pants-no jacket necessary!). And all we needed to do was hem pants, and I did THAT at home. So no complaints there.  Ick, no easy answer. Super twat waffle, and douche canoe. 

mamaj1220

@shamrocandroll one of my favorite parts of working with a woman as CEO is that they all get it. Like they all understand I am taking all my time when I have this baby and while in an emergency I don't mind them calling, I am not available I have a new human to take care of. 

shamrocandroll

@pirateduck Them preferring everyone to be in the same hotel is one thing, but I was in a wedding once that was 20 minutes from my house and the bride asked the wedding party to stay in the hotel, and I declined (although she did not pay for anything for us... not even drinks at the reception, but that's another topic) which I think was pretty reasonable to save some money.  I still met them at the hotel to do hair and makeup and photos, but I was able to not waste hundreds of dollars by staying there unnecessarily.

ruby696

@shamrocandroll My last boss was like that, but he was really terrible to the men who wanted to take paternity leave. He'd make.comments, "like what, is she going to be disabled or something," if a man wanted to take two weeks off. With women, he expected it, I guess because we belong at home in the kitchen anyway? I am so thankful my current boss is a woman with grown children, who was actually present in their lives.

shamrocandroll

@mamaj1220 @ruby696 He's usually pretty good and flexible about this stuff but he's a workaholic and I honestly am not sure he'll ever understand people who aren't.  Like he's pushing me really hard to take on these huge projects and certifications this year and I'm just trying to convey to him that I'm not really willing or able to do that this year.  He seems to be having a hard time understanding that, and I'm feeling frustrated about feeling the eternal working mom guilt.  Like I can't be a good mom and a good worker at the same time.  

ruby696

@shamrocandroll Well, silver lining is that he's probably pushing you because he wants to see you advance? I guess that's a good thing, but I totally get your frustration. 

mamaj1220

@shamrocandroll I get that too, my direct supervisor is like that, she is on maternity leave currently but came into the office to do a few things with the baby last week, I didn't complain because I went in and took the baby haha. But I am hoping they know that will not be me. I had a really hard time going back after DS1 and am assuming it will be the same this time. 

shamrocandroll

@ruby696 Yea, I think that's what it is, but I'm already in a management position and not particularly interested in upper management at this stage in my career, and this year is not the year for big advancement for me, which is totally fine/preferred by me, but he's the type who seems to think if you're not driving yourself into the ground, you're not working hard enough.

mamaj1220

@shamrocandroll I get that too. I am more concerned about finishing my masters so while I love my job and I am working my butt off for them, that coupled with a baby, I just don't think at this time moving up the ladder is for me.

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll I know we've had a similar conversation in another thread when my immediate supervisor mentioned being able to get in touch with me while I'm out.  Yeah, not going to happen.  On leave is on leave, not working from home.  (I also asked her about being able to work from home prior to being pregnant, and she would have none of that)  She also keeps saying different things (related to work and projects and planning for summer etc.) and I have to keep reminding her I will not be around in the summer.  I don't know if she legit forgets or if she thinks its going to be no big deal and they can just wing it, but I really think she needs to make a real plan for how the department will operate without me.  There are only 3 people in the department and the summer is the busiest time of year.  Some people just have different priorities I guess and can't wrap their head around our choices or that things will change at work without us there every day.  My supervisor is childless by choice, her and another childless friend both separately also made comments about my return to work after having a baby and how having a good stable job and insurance must be really important at this time in my life etc.  and I'm thinking my new baby and my family are my priority now, this job is meaningless compared to that.  They just can't wrap their heads around the fact that something could be more important than this job.  Some people don't get it.  Some people's careers are their lives, my career is to pay my bills so I can have a life outside of work.

drkoyya

@shamrocandroll "Oh I forgot (that's illegal)"... just wow...

@catem07 I completely agree with everyone, that is beyond ridiculous! Such a crazy expectation ON TOP of all of the other wedding festivities. I flipped on DH for spending $600 on his friend's bachelor party in the DR--mainly because I wasn't getting paid for 2 months and money was extremely tight. I would completely lose my mind if he had to spend $400 on a suit that wasn't even for his own wedding. 

sunshinesea22

All these TWs! Man what’s with the twats this week?!? @shamrocandroll how serious are they about these goals at your job? At my work it’s like a joke and no one actually pays attention to them and it doesn’t have much bearing on your performance review.
@catem07 F that on the $400 suit! No wedding gift for them. I would seriously request that they pay for that instead of the hotel if you have friends you can stay with. It’s one thing to agree to be a groomsman when you figure it’ll cost you a $200 suit rental, another thing when after the fact you’re expected to shell out $400 to buy a suit. 

I don’t usually get irritated by much but My TW is that yesterday I called to check on a patient and he suddenly decided that I wasn’t doing anything to manage his pain and nausea. Mind you, I talked to him on Friday and he told me he was fine and was managing his meds for pain and nausea and didn’t need or want my support. He was actually angry at his wife for calling me to tell me he was still getting sick frequently and yelled at his wife While I was in the phone because and I quite directly “I’m fine, I know what I’m doing and you really didn’t need to call her!“ (referring to me). So apparently he was miserable all weekend, called our 24 hour line to request more nausea medication but declined a nursing visit. So I called yesterday to check in and see if he wanted a visit and all the sudden he says I’ve done nothing to support him or manage his pain/nausea. Except I tried and he refused and said he was all good every time. So I’m supposed to be a mind reader and just know when he’s not fine anymore?!? Any way, it was really upsetting because he went from being nice and appreciative of my support the middle of last week to saying I wasn’t doing anything for him, because well, he wouldn’t let me! Sorry for the vent. It’s all good now. 

bananapanda

@catem07 yea that sounds like a wedding I probably wouldn't care to go to anyway so I vote you should stay home also!

@shamrocandroll how annoying.  I hope your boss is able to come to his senses and you don't have to get HR or anyone else involved.  I've dealt with a few bosses who had different values than me over the past few years where I did have to go to HR and it was such a pain.  Sure things were "resolved" to my liking, but it just leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth.  My boss now is a younger married man with 2 younger kids and much more understanding so hopefully everything is a little more smooth.

My TW from yesterday was one of the teachers at DD's daycare. Tuesday is the main teacher's day off in DD's room so it's always someone random and you never know what you'll get.  I was already in a hurry yesterday because I had to pick up our dog and take him to the vet after getting DD since MH had a late meeting leaving me to do everything alone.  I walk in to get DD and she's in the bathroom and the new-ish teacher I've never talked to before gives me a pissy look and says "UH....she just had an ACCIDENT!" like she's pissed at me that my freshly potty trained 2 year old had an accident (she has one maybe every other week or less) and it was really inconveniencing her.  I just said "ok cool" and stood there while she helped her finish getting dressed since she was already half done.  Then I noticed DD had a big red spot on her forehead so I said "DD, what happened to your head?" and the teacher just looks at me and says "yea I don't know what happened" and walked away.  And then she didn't talk to either of us after that or even say bye.  That's one of my biggest pet peeves if you're caring for my child all day long and you can't even tell them bye after they've been with you for 10 hours?  Seems like maybe she's in the wrong profession.  But also she just looks rude every time I've seen her so maybe I have it out for her.  I'm debating if I want to say anything to the director, but it feels kind of tattletale-ish but on the other hand if she treats kids like this in front of parents what is happening behind closed doors?  Oh also my cousin works at the daycare and has heard this teacher cussing often and saying "I hate that kid" about multiple kids in the daycare which doesn't help her case, but I can't really tell the director that without getting my cousin in trouble.

m6agua

@bananapanda I think you should absolutely bring up your concerns to the director. These are children and that behavior is not acceptable! Obviously the things you've heard about but haven't seen or dealt with yourself should be brought up with that caveat.

sunshinesea22

@bananapanda I don’t have a kid yet, but I would definitely at least send an email to the director to let them know that you think this “teacher”’s professionalism is lacking. My guess is they already know but unless people mention it, they probably wouldn’t make a big deal about it with the employee...it is a tight employment market and I feel like employers let people get away with more because they don’t want to have to try to replace someone in this market.

ruby696

@bananapanda Yeah, that's not okay and you need to say something. What if your daughter had some kind of head injury and this lady didn't even see her fall? Daycare is expensive and you should absolutely talk to the director if your daughter us not being cared for in an acceptable manner. I got talked to the other morning because DD and another little girl were "drawing" with toys on plexiglass and scratched it all up. Okay. So how do two three year olds even do that unless no one is watching them? I was hoping that were going to ask me to pay to buff it out - I don't lawyer people very often, but I was ready. They were smart enough not to go there.

bananapanda

Thanks for reassuring me I'm not crazy! I think I feel slightly bad because all I frequently complain.  Not bad enough that I won't do it though because if my daughter is possibly being mistreated I couldn't care less what the director or teachers think of me complaining.  Usually the director is very responsive and handles everything to my satisfaction.  I'm hoping this teacher just won't be in there again since it was while the main teacher was out.  

I've also heard from my cousin there that only a few parents really complain (and I'm probably one of them, but it's every few months or less not like I'm in there every week with an issue).  It seems to work though, maybe just because the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but I'll take it if it means DD is getting better teachers and being taken care of up to standards.

pirateduck

This is a combo of my husband and his mother.  My husband was visiting his mother and called me because she wants to buy something for me and/or the baby.  This is nice and all but it really put me on the spot and he put me on speaker phone and I'm like well there's all kinds of stuff we need but I was blanking on what to tell her, and then I said can I just send a link to the registry, I made a whole list, I think that would be easier.  Then when talking to my husband (not on speaker) I was saying how we need things like sheets and diapers and I don't just need another XL shirt for myself, I have clothes and if someone is going to spend money on me/baby there are all kinds of things we legit need as first time parents.  Well, she bought me a giant t-shirt, great, one more t-shirt in the closet, not cute maternity clothes I can actually wear 5 days a week to work, nothing we actually need for the baby, nothing that can be returned or exchanged, I know she means well, but it was literally a total waste of money and it's frustrating because she specifically asked what we need and then totally disregarded it anyway.  Why even ask?