Baby Shower/Sprinkle

rachelg777

@pirateduck agree with everyone! A work shower later is totally fine.

bananapanda

I guess it depends on how big your company is and how generous your coworkers are, but I feel like for our work baby showers we all pitch in and get one decently big gift and a few smaller ones so I could still see an argument for having it earlier because you'll want all of the big things fairly early (at least I did).  But also if you buy all the big things and all that's left on your registry are some small "nice to have" items I guess your coworkers can just shop from those in which case it's fine.

shamrocandroll

@bananapanda I don't think my coworkers even had a link to my registry.  It was more of a gathering before I left for 3 months than an actual big deal shower.  

bananapanda

@shamrocandroll we're all stalkers at my work so we track down the registries whenever possible lol but it even varies by department within our company so I'm sure it varies really widely from job to job as well.

pirateduck

ok...  another work shower question...  the woman hosting was asking about it yesterday, which is where this all stems from...  I really don't want to be involved in figuring things out and whatever they want to do (or not do) is fine.  She was asking about guest list.  I don't know who to include or not and where to draw the line.  I have only been to one other work shower and I feel like it was an open invite and the people who knew the baby mama and worked more closely with her showed up and those that didn't, didn't.  The people that matter most are my department that I see every single day which consists of 3 other women, who are essentially the ones hosting.  I don't want to leave anyone out who may want to participate nor do I want people I hardly know feel obligated to show up.  My background is that I've worked here about 8 or 9 years, there are about 200 employees, but probably a least half (maybe more) is seasonal staff that I don't know at all.  I mostly know the management staff because they are the core year-round group (much smaller numbers, maybe 20 people) which would include both men and women.  She also asked if it should be women only, but I do feel like this one should be coed, especially because I don't know if/when I'll be returning to work so in my brain it's sorta a farewell event.

shamrocandroll

@pirateduck I would say your department, anyone you work with regularly (ie: if there is a project team you're currently on), any work friends you may have, and then tell her to make it an open invitation that people can forward if they'd like.  I also asked my boss to make everyone optional instead of required on the meeting invite.  But ours was super informal and I didn't expect gifts.  If you're expecting gifts, then I would keep it smaller, but I'm generally averse to receiving gifts from people.

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll that's a good idea, I can certainly come up with a short list of people that I work closely with that I would want to include and then they can pass it on to anyone else that may be interested in their departments or whatever.

jhysmath

I must say that my mom's baby shower for me they had planned for 38 weeks and she brought me to it because I came at 37 weeks. My sister we had her baby shower scheduled for 36 weeks and she had her daughter the day before the shower and couldn't come as she was with the baby in the hospital. For my shower I told MIL that she could only have it the one week we went there so I was abut 28 weeks and for my family I told my mom they could only have it when I was there for one week and I was 36 weeks. 

pirateduck

I'm struggling with the shower timing thing (work & family) because what I say works for me doesn't work for the hosts, but in both cases they keep pushing for later in pregnancy and I'm not comfortable with that at all.  I know others are hosting and I have to be appreciative of their efforts and maybe it's not all about me, but isn't it all about me?  Plus, they have known for months that I am pregnant and had months to figure this out, it shouldn't be my problem or creating stress for me now.  Ok.  I'm done whining about that.  I just had to get it out one last time.

afranzen85

@pirateduck it absolutely should be what works for you. A shower is supposed to be fun not stressful.

I am struggling a bit with this topic, personally. This is my 4th child so the needs are low because we have a lot of items from our girls. BUT...my first child is 7 and well, some things are just outdated, no longer work, etc...and everything we have is from my shower with her. We are pretty minimalist in items for babies since they are used such a short time. Is it awful of me to hope someone asks if we have any needs this time around? Or since we are team green, maybe us hosting a small "meet the baby" bbq or something after birth?

ruby696

@pirateduck Are your hosts coming from out of state? Normally I'd say it is all about mom, but if everyone is traveling to you, I think you have to be more flexible than you would be if you were the one traveling or if everyone was local. If they are local, then it shouldn't be that hard for them to find an afternoon that works for everyone. 

@afranzen85 These babies are our 3rd and 4th and I really struggled with offers for showers. I did finally relent, but the guest list is super small, as are my registries. We've been buying what we need, so all I have left on my registries are a few things we still need and then supplies like diapers, shampoo, etc. I think if you're in need of gifts, you should probably do something before. I'd think people would assume you had what you needed if you did it after baby was born. You'd probably get lots of cute clothes and stuffed animals - not sure that's what you're looking for.

heyybritt

@pirateduck I'm struggling with this too. We set a date for a shower for me at 33 weeks, and I didn't think I would have to do much but now  I am the one looking for places and working out details states away. I'm grateful of course that people want to celebrate the baby but frustrated because I didn't really want to do this and am not looking forward to traveling at that point.

@afranzen85 I love the idea of a meet the baby get together, someone else had mentioned doing that and I think it's such a good idea!

afranzen85

@ruby696 this is my first warm weather baby, so baby will likely need different clothing than the others. And will definitely need clothes if this one is a boy. I have some items in mind for keeping baby out of the sun and cool since we spend a lot of time outside. We cloth diaper so detergent is always a need. 

I will likely wait to buy anything until after baby is born because they aren't needs except new pumping items like tubing and membranes. We'll see what happens, but we haven't recieved anything new since #1 was born and no one has asked how this pregnancy is going except for my FIL. 

pirateduck

@afranzen85 can you and your husband in conjunction with a friend or family member host a casual party (family style, men, women, children) to celebrate your growing family.  So it's not exactly a baby shower.  People who want to buy gifts will and will ask about it whether you are having a shower or not.  Have your co-host handle RSVPs and they can tactfully address the gift thing as people reply and perhaps say gifts are not required by there is a registry at x if you are interested or if you would like to bring a side dish (pot luck) or freezer meal for the family that would be great as well.  Give people options so they can contribute at a level they are comfortable with.

afranzen85

@pirateduck that's kind of what I was thinking with a "meet the baby" bbq because it's focused more on coming to hangout and if people asked about what we need, I could provide a list.