I got a flat tire on the way to work today - luckily was able to pull off on an exit and into a parking lot. Sat in the parking lot for over an hour waiting for someone to come change my tire.... not a fun thing to have happen when you're pregnant and having to pee/eat something.
My DH said he would do the dishes on Saturday. He loaded the dishwasher, but there were more dishes than fit in the dishwasher and he just left them. I get so annoyed when he doesnt finish the job. Last night I brought it up and he said, "well, you know we have been really busy this weekend." No, he had time to go ice fishing once on Saturday and once on Sunday. We were only busy from 11-3 yesterday. I feel like I need to make him a list of what actually needs to get done for a chore to be finished like he's a child. ALL the dishes need washed. Clean the counters and the stovetop. This is not that hard.
And it reminds me that I've had a flat for TWO WEEKS that DH said he was going to take care of, but he can't get one lug nut off and it keeps breaking his tools. He can't get the tire off to get the spare on, so he can't get it to a shop. So he ignores the problem?? Uuugh.
The light rail car I boarded this morning was packed because one of the trains was running late. Midway to downtown the announcer comes in and tells everyone in my car to exit and go into one of the front cars because our car needed to be removed and serviced. Dammit. We were like sardines already then it got 10 times worse and, of course, I end up next to someone who bathed in cologne. And I had to pee so bad. I was in a good mood until mass transit this morning!
@modoodles logical.. lol. If it makes you feel any better I called my husband right as I pulled off and asked him where he was..'luckily' he was pretty close behind me so he pulled off - well, he didn't grow up around cars and knows NOTHING about them. So he couldn't put my spare on. plus it was way too cold to be outside to try and figure it out.
@rachelredhead oof, that does not sound fun at all. When we moved further out of the city I started relying more on public transportation, and I would always get so anxious and nauseous when the bus got full. Not to mention, motion sickness. Since I've been pregnant I've been driving in, but I HATE the traffic. Lose/lose. lol
@modoodles Ugh, that’s so annoying. I have a procrastinator of a husband too when it comes to accomplishing tasks around the house. He’s not particularly handy so it takes him foreverrrrr.
I could really just copy and paste my rant over from my check in thread...but MBF is DH. "We" were going to clean this weekend so that "we" (I) don't have to run around like crazy on Thursday to get the house ready for my parents on Friday. He talked about it all week like he was trying to be the world's most helpful. Saturday I was out of commission with a migraine so nothing got done, then yesterday he didn't move from the couch/bed ALL DAY. The first half of the day he was just being lazy (I even hid at Target for like 1.5 hours hoping he'd get a head start), the second half I guess he was randomly feeling like he was going to barf. Needless to say I cleaned like 80% of the house and still feel really passive aggressive about it. Like, does he realize it's not going to be this way forever? Sundays will no longer be for 10 hours of watching football on the couch. Not to mention, his laundry / cleaning house fairy will be out of commission. I'm already scared for the monster I'm going to become in 6 months if he doesn't start helping me out soon. Like is it because I feel generally ok and am not really showing yet? Will this get better or am I destined to be angry for the rest of my life????
Also yes @modoodles what is with men?!? He's like, ok what do we need to clean? I need specifics...so I'll be like "pick every itemoff the countertops and put it away. Vacuum all the floors so they no longer have tumbleweeds of fur"...why is it so hard to see things that need to be cleaned?! I'm definitely not a clean freak by any means but like....?
@kristinl492 my DH is not very handy either. Our dryer smelled like something was burning way back in June. He said he cleared the ducts of any trapped lint and then took the back off the dryer but didn't have a clue what he was looking at, so it stayed broken until I finally called someone in OCTOBER. The guy came and said, "oh, there's a ton of lint trapped in this duct." 🙄 He cleared it out and it has been totally fine again since then. I just loved paying $120 for a service call, not to mention an ungodly amount of money spent drying clothes at the laundromat.
@b_1029 oh man does that hit home. My family hears me say, "am I the only one with eyeballs?" a lot. A lot, a lot.
@modoodles men... I’m impressed they made it to the dishwasher! Mine will rinse them (which is the hardest part) but then he puts them back on the counter instead of right there in the dishwasher. I’m like it’s literally right by the sink!
@shaqn0sis so sorry about your tire! That would be a terrible way to start the day. Hope it’s going better!
Mine is that our oldest has dance tonight and I’m just kind of over having night activities. We homeschool and do things during the day (one day my youngest has dance during the day then there is piano and my oldest’s homeschool program) and by the time DH gets home I just want to be home as a family. We are going to have to change some things next year! My oldest also does a program similar to Girl Scouts and that starts back up this week and honestly, it...is...SO BORING! I decided to volunteer this year and I want to stab my eyes out during the classes. I feel like it’s mostly their kindergarten program and it needs a revamp! She loves it though because she wants to earn badges but I’m thinking maybe we come up with our own way to earn badges lol
I'm probably the one in our house my wife could put in the b@tchfest on housekeeping. I do things but not as much and it bugs her faster so she'll do it. I did load and run dishwasher before work and put up laundry.
I'm one of the lucky few who has a DH who does more of the housework than me (but also makes more of the mess) although I still end up with a lot of emotional labor/mental load in regards to larger life things (and also, facilitating his happiness which he struggles with sometimes). There are a ton of great articles to send partners out there about household division and the like out there, this one is my fav: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/
My MBF is H and I went on a family trip to Vegas this weekend with his parents, siblings/partners, and two good friends of his who have been pseudo adopted into the family and while overall things were great, I was battling a healing sprained ankle which everyone knew. I can walk mostly fine just slightly slower than normal. Well my sister in law and her husband planned everything and walked at practically a 14 min mile pace in the evening to get to the show we were seeing and the rest of the crowd sprinted to keep up with them... leaving H and I about 3-4 minutes walking behind the crowd. And like, I understand if we were late (we were not) or I was 15 minutes behind but they all know that 1. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and 2. My ankle is still healing and the fact that no one slowed down to our pace was, at a point, rude. Earlier in the day a group had walked basically the entire strip and H and I opted out about half the walk because of my ankle but this was a planned group thing. Post show, when we got back to the casino via uber, H and I wanted to go find the bar and my brother in law was like "we should wait for SIL to get back so she can catch up" and I was like OH REALLY, we should WAIT for someone to catch up?!?!
TLDR - Cranky pregnant lady with hurt ankle wants people to slow the fuck down a hair when walking.
@pocketrose that would make me SO mad! I'd have told them to slow TF down!
Which show did y'all go see? We're going with some friends at the end of next month and are going to see O. side note... I'm sure it'll be super fun for me to be around everyone who will likely be wasted half the time I should probably go ahead and book a separate room from DH so I don't murder him when he's drunk snoring lol
@blaf322 We saw Ka and I slept through half of it (9:30pm show + jetlag). I have an arts/theater background so something has to be pretty unique to keep my interest (the parts I was awake for were pretty solid).
I feel like...there a common sense things and slowing down should be one of them, especially when you are basically jogging. I think I would have been too mad/upset to say anything.
Mine is also going to have to be about my H. We have the housework issues too (and our marriage counselor once suggested we make a chore chart, like for little kids - hey not a terrible idea, I think my H really needs it written out in plain English). But what I'm really fuming about today is sleep. This man literally sleeps through our toddler SCREAMING over the monitor at 1 am, and then later sleeps through our preschooler waking up at 3 am and deciding to have a legit dance party in his bedroom. Does he really not hear it, or if he choosing to ignore it because he knows his (exhausted and pregnant and sick) wife will handle it? This has been an issue since we had our first and we're going to need to have a come to jesus convo about it soon because I am at my wit's end.
God I’m so relieved to see people finally bitching about their husbands lol I feel like all I’ve seen is “my husband is so supportive and rubs my feet and brings me food” while I’m over here just constantly glaring at mine lol. @zande2016 I so feel you on the DH “sleeping through” the wakeups... or in our case, him not feeling like getting up with our daughter on the weekends so that I can get a little more rest (I’m talking like, an hour tops). I end up having to set an alarm, nudge him, tell him it’s time to get her, and finally have to get my own ass up out of bed before he gets the message. And by then I’m so pissed I can’t fall back to sleep anyway!
@modoodles and @b_1029 I am convinced men can not see messes. He’s always like the house doesn’t need to be cleaned as I’m staring at a sink full of dishes, counters I can’t see anymore and a mountain of laundry that I will never finish.
@meanjellybean my husband is so great but I swear to god his brain is not connected to his mouth and with some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth it’s a miracle he’s still alive.
My DH is a dream right now but he also has a crazy gag reflex and is petrified of diapers. I’m the eldest, and the oldest of 13 grandkids, so I babysat a TON. My sis is 12 years younger so I’ve changed many, many diapers. And then nieces, etc. I am enjoying dream husband before I have to shred his gentle soul to pieces over diaper duty. So I may have few complaints now but also know exactly what our future fights will be about. 😬😬😬
@beckylookatherbump men totally have selective vision when it comes to messes. My husband does the end of the night dishes/kitchen clean up and he ALWAYS neglects the island and the small part of the counter on the other side of the stove. Forever a crumpled dish towel on one of those surfaces. Just finish the job 🤦🏼♀️
@meanjellybean oh, MH is within an inch of his life most days lately I just didn't mention it much here b/c not many others were and I thought, well, if I keep threatening to murder my H, they'll think I'm actually serious and will definitely be scared of me hahaha... So I stopped sharing lol
@meanjellybean I'm often close to venting about my spouse. Yes, she's wonderful and also stubborn, often cantankerous and stays on the brink of hostile midway through every school year. She's been largely silent during my fertility process which is sorta her way but has left me at times feeling very lonely.
When I don't vent I'm usually trying to balance my recent hormonal rant that probably was not deserved.
@rachelredhead with our first, we had a strict rule that I handled inputs and DH handled outputs. No excuses - no way I’d be the one to do it all. But with me spending so much time with the newborn, it turned out to be a really special bonding time that he got with her, and he really enjoyed it. Probably hard to frame it in that context ahead of time for him, but maybe seeing it as a bonding opportunity more than dealing with gross poo diapers could get him to override his focus on the yucky parts.
@Pascal86 my husband has already been told that as long as I’m breastfeeding he will be changing all dirty diapers if he’s home. It’s called division of labor lol. alosw I don’t complain about DH a lot because honestly since I became pregnant he’s been the best but ask prepregnacy me and I’ll tell you it’s a miracle if he made it to his next birthday. When we were trying for this little guy he asked me if my forehead wrinkles were new. 1. I didn’t know I had wrinkles 2. Yes they are new thanks for the update.
@beckylookatherbump lollll I'm in the same boat - I try not to complain about my husband since he's great. But he did mention about a week ago that it would be nice if I could "try" just a little. As in not wear the same pajama bottoms all day and night for five days in a row. I think he thought this was a reasonable ask, but I was in the middle of slowly dying so did not appreciate it.
Glad he's on board with diapers though! Sadly this didn't work with DD2, because it just wasn't practical to make him come do diapers every time it was needed while he was also taking care of DD1 almost every waking moment for a while. But DD2 is 19 months now, and I never feel bad about making him deal with dirty diapers.
@Pascal86 “input/output” cracked me up 😂 and yes, that is totally fair!
I’m just here to bitch about the fact that I’m pretty sure I’m getting a cavity. I HATE the dentist. Don’t worry, I’m sure DH will do something to aggravate me so I can join back in on that conversation!
+1 for the husband who's oblivious to messes! It's so frustrating! I'm a SAHM so a big chunk of my day is spent cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, ect. I cook dinner, we eat and put the boys to bed. While he bathes them and helps them with pjs I clean the kitchen. Some nights I don't finish before storytime. When I come out from putting them to sleep he's on the couch and the kitchen is still a mess! Seriously? We both worked all day and now I need to finish cleaning the kitchen too? Oh, and don't get me started on his shoes... they're everywhere!
What I've come to realize is I have a much lower threshold for mess than he does so it all bothers me quicker. I'm hoping to train my boys to notice messes and take the initiative to clean them up.
I realize it's Tuesday but this one will be my b!tchfest for the next eon. My personal phone and wallet were stolen this morning! My purse was hanging on the back of my chair when I was chatting with a friend over coffee. Some a$$hole unzipped my purse (so brazen!) and stole my phone and wallet. Despite canceling everything, suspending my phone, etc., I've still been babysitting certain accounts (Venmo, PayPal, etc) because they've tried to pay themselves (I assume) and take Lyfts everywhere today. All more info to supplement my police report but I'm so mad! The loss of the driver's license alone is enough to make me want to set the world on fire. Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I still have a work phone but jeez, I would have MUCH rather had that be stolen. That would have been infinitely easier because its details are totally locked behind a bazillion log ins AND I don't keep anything personal on their. Even my boss said it would have been easier to lose the work one. Ha! Ugh. Nice to have a back up phone until I replace my personal one but I'm going to be livid about this for a good while.
Side note, I've never logged on to The Bump on a computer before. It's so much nicer. So I'll go ahead and just say that the mobile app is horrible, just to add to today's annoyances.
@rachelredhead oh no!!! I’m livid for you. The inconvenience of having to fix it all and get replacement DL is 😡😡😡. Hope it gets resolved as quickly as possible.
Also, totally agree with you on the Bump app. Having to click back 700million times to get out of a thread drives me crazy!
@rachelredhead thats terrible! I hope you are able to get replacements fairly easily. And I also hate the app. I am only on the computer here and there, but I much prefer it.
@rachelredhead omg!! I am so sorry! That is a seriously legit bitchfest and would also be the "why I'm crying" if it were me lol. I hope there isn't any additional damage and you can get everything sorted out and replaced!!
@rachelredhead omg how infuriating!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. (But yes, TB app is the literal worst, and anytime I try to use it on the weekend I get pissed off in 0.2 seconds.)
Oh yes I forgot to comment about how terrible the app is. I hope they fix it before we have these babies and then we are stuck with the app as opposed to a computer. Did anyone get that weird error message over the weekend? It made me think my phone had been taken over by Russian spies lol
Re: Monday B!tchFest 1/13
And it reminds me that I've had a flat for TWO WEEKS that DH said he was going to take care of, but he can't get one lug nut off and it keeps breaking his tools. He can't get the tire off to get the spare on, so he can't get it to a shop. So he ignores the problem?? Uuugh.
@rachelredhead oof, that does not sound fun at all. When we moved further out of the city I started relying more on public transportation, and I would always get so anxious and nauseous when the bus got full. Not to mention, motion sickness. Since I've been pregnant I've been driving in, but I HATE the traffic. Lose/lose. lol
Also yes @modoodles what is with men?!? He's like, ok what do we need to clean? I need specifics...so I'll be like "pick every itemoff the countertops and put it away. Vacuum all the floors so they no longer have tumbleweeds of fur"...why is it so hard to see things that need to be cleaned?! I'm definitely not a clean freak by any means but like....?
@b_1029 oh man does that hit home. My family hears me say, "am I the only one with eyeballs?" a lot. A lot, a lot.
My MBF is H and I went on a family trip to Vegas this weekend with his parents, siblings/partners, and two good friends of his who have been pseudo adopted into the family and while overall things were great, I was battling a healing sprained ankle which everyone knew. I can walk mostly fine just slightly slower than normal. Well my sister in law and her husband planned everything and walked at practically a 14 min mile pace in the evening to get to the show we were seeing and the rest of the crowd sprinted to keep up with them... leaving H and I about 3-4 minutes walking behind the crowd. And like, I understand if we were late (we were not) or I was 15 minutes behind but they all know that 1. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and 2. My ankle is still healing and the fact that no one slowed down to our pace was, at a point, rude. Earlier in the day a group had walked basically the entire strip and H and I opted out about half the walk because of my ankle but this was a planned group thing. Post show, when we got back to the casino via uber, H and I wanted to go find the bar and my brother in law was like "we should wait for SIL to get back so she can catch up" and I was like OH REALLY, we should WAIT for someone to catch up?!?!
TLDR - Cranky pregnant lady with hurt ankle wants people to slow the fuck down a hair when walking.
Which show did y'all go see? We're going with some friends at the end of next month and are going to see O.
side note... I'm sure it'll be super fun for me to be around everyone who will likely be wasted half the time
I feel like...there a common sense things and slowing down should be one of them, especially when you are basically jogging. I think I would have been too mad/upset to say anything.
alosw I don’t complain about DH a lot because honestly since I became pregnant he’s been the best but ask prepregnacy me and I’ll tell you it’s a miracle if he made it to his next birthday. When we were trying for this little guy he asked me if my forehead wrinkles were new. 1. I didn’t know I had wrinkles 2. Yes they are new thanks for the update.
Glad he's on board with diapers though! Sadly this didn't work with DD2, because it just wasn't practical to make him come do diapers every time it was needed while he was also taking care of DD1 almost every waking moment for a while. But DD2 is 19 months now, and I never feel bad about making him deal with dirty diapers.
I’m just here to bitch about the fact that I’m pretty sure I’m getting a cavity. I HATE the dentist. Don’t worry, I’m sure DH will do something to aggravate me so I can join back in on that conversation!
What I've come to realize is I have a much lower threshold for mess than he does so it all bothers me quicker. I'm hoping to train my boys to notice messes and take the initiative to clean them up.
Side note, I've never logged on to The Bump on a computer before. It's so much nicer. So I'll go ahead and just say that the mobile app is horrible, just to add to today's annoyances.