FFFC 1/10

ruby696

*Not guaranteed to be flame free

m6agua

Ok I have one from this morning. To preface, ever since being pregnant with DD I've had constipation issues and in the last year it goes back and forth, but way less constipation.

So we are having a tailgate party at work today and I needed to stop at the grocery store before going in. On my drive I could feel my digestion starting to kick in, but figured when I would need to go when I got to work. I got to the grocery store and was fine, the things I needed were in the far back corner. Of course once I get back there and picked up my items I start feeling the urge and it was urgent! So then I'm like ok, I will check out quick with self check out and go to the restroom (both at the front of the store). While I was walking up there things were getting worse and I was thinking to myself, I am going to have to go home and change (insert facepalm). Anyways I made it to the bathroom just barely, and I mean like 2 more seconds and it would have been a different story. So my confession is that I almost shit myself today.

jrouge12

@m6agua No flames for you! I go between constipated and uh...not at all constipated too. I'll add to the poop themed FFFC: Wednesday was a "not at all constipated" day and the smell I left in the work BR should have caused building wide evacuations. 😳

shamrocandroll

@m6agua That happened to me once in a parking lot on my way into a store, except I didn't make it. I had to go back into my car, hide in the back seat (thankfully I had sun shades on the back windows), and take off my underwear in the store parking lot.  I then wrapped them up in newspaper and plastic bags and threw them away in the outdoor trash can outside the store, went into the store restroom to more fully clean myself up, and then immediately went home without doing the shopping I had gone there for.  It ended up being the beginning of a stomach bug in my case, and it was so humiliating (even though no one saw it that I know of).  So, solidarity to make you feel better about your embarrassing poop scare!

ETA words

shamrocandroll

@m6agua Also, bravo to you.  THAT is how you do a FFFC!  None of that wimpy "I ate deli meat today" crap. 

shamrocandroll

This thread is making me have to poop.

ruby696

@m6agua I peed myself when I started coughing during a conversation with my MIL. Thank god she didn't notice, but I had to rush to the bathroom, take off my underwear, and then hide them in a plastic bag in my purse I'd brought in case one of the kids had an incident. Of course, my purse was right next to FIL. Thank god I'd had a panty liner on, because that at least kept my jeans *mostly* dry.

jrouge12

@shamrocandroll If only there was a simple solution like reading poop stories to help pregnancy constipation. I live in a world of fear that anyday is the day I have to get another adult to watch my class so I don't poop myself in front of 30 adolescents.

shamrocandroll

@jrouge12 Oh I am definitely constipated more often than not.  The fact I had spicy Thai food for lunch is probably a contributing (/major) factor.

rox7777

I pee myself on a semi regular basis this pregnancy. Between lingering colds, a super low baby and just all around being older this time, it seems impossible to stop. I literally peed on the couch the other day because I sneezed and then coughed back to back. MH hysterically laughed at me for peeing myself in the car and having to change when I got home. He really thought I was kidding.

ruby696

@rox7777 Sitting is when it really gets me. I'm usually okay when standing or lying down, but hard coughing and sitting are not a great combo for me. 

ruby696

Okay, so after reading the tips/tricks with the snoogle, I think I've been using mine upside down...

pourmeanothermocktail

Super grateful for not having pooped or peed myself, but I did have such bad gas last night that I gagged on the smell and had to turn on a fan. So glamorous. 

pourmeanothermocktail

Also, walked around all day Wednesday with a 2 inch hole right in the butt of my pants. Didn't notice until I took them off. I have no idea how long that hole has been there or how many other days I've walked around all day with the hole. It's too big to just have appeared that wear...I think. 

But I stitched them up last night.

shamrocandroll

Update:  I did not need to poop.  It was just a massively huge fart.  @pourmeanothermocktail +1 to having super bad gas this pregnancy.  

m6agua

@ruby696 I use my Snoogle both directions.

@shamrocandroll Thanks friend! I think poop confessions are always great. Almost everyone has them! I did eat deli meat today though.

As for my confession, I am pretty sure the people in the store (if they were looking at me) could see something was going on at the self check-out, and then the fact that I went straight to the bathroom. I seriously was super surprised that I had nothing on my underwear. Another confession, I think this would still have happened whether or not I was pregnant.

ruby696

@m6agua 😂😂😂

drkoyya

shamrocandroll said:

@m6agua Also, bravo to you.  THAT is how you do a FFFC!  None of that wimpy "I ate deli meat today" crap. 

It’s not my confession but I did have deli meat today 😂 

@m6agua I’m glad you made it! That has definitely happened to me once (before pregnancy). I was working out early in the morning at my apartment’s gym and it jump started my system. The front office wasn’t open yet. I had to rush to my apartment at the other end of the complex but didn’t make it. It was just me but so embarrassing. I haven’t had any accidents yet during pregnancy but this is a reminder to do Kegels.

rox7777

@drkoyya I’m the kegel Queen. I’ve been doing them since before I started having kids. Something about the third kid and your 30s just makes everything go downhill. BUT not to worry, one kid shouldn’t cause too much damage to your potty training creds. 

thepretzelchick

I second @rox7777. All the kegels in the world don't stop me from peeing myself. I used to laugh at my mom growing up when it would happen to her. Karma is a cruel bitch.

pourmeanothermocktail

FFFC- Sorry. I am two kids in, and I think I've only peed myself twice. Total. 

It *might* almost make up for the broken pelvis during pregnancy though. Apparently my actual pelvic floor stays decently strong in order to keep me somewhat able to walk considering my hips don't stay put. 

Feel free to think I'm an asshole though. I can take it.

sunshinesea22

@m6agua and @shamrocandroll I feel your pain. I have some very urgent bowels. When I gotta go, I gotta go and it’s not fun. One time I was in my car driving back to my apartment with my sister and I had the belly rumblings that told me I wasn’t going to make the last 1/2 mile to my building....so I pulled into a parking lot and I had a poop-splosion  behind a dumpster. I’m not proud but it was either that or irreversibly ruining my car‘s seat. I made my sister swear she would never tell a soul, mostly because MH and I had just gotten engaged and I was terrified of what he would think if he knew. I recently told him that story and he said he will never look at me the same way again 😂🤣😂. This was long before pregnancy, my bowel and bladder control are in serious trouble.

edit:spelling

rachelg777

@pourmeanothermocktail I was afraid to make the same confession for fear of jinxing myself 😉. As far as I know (I’m pretty sure I would know?) I’ve never had any issues peeing myself and I’ve got my fingers crossed for after this kid. So to some of you terrified but not in the danger zone yet, hold out hope 😂. 

That being said I definitely have urgent bowels and have had a lot of close calls. 

rox7777

@pourmeanothermocktail @rachelg777 It wasn’t until the third kid. 😭 I actually thought I’d make it through all the kids without peeing myself. 

rachelg777

@rox7777 there go all my hopes and dreams 😆.

ruby696

@rachelg777 Mine started after baby no. 2. And in all honesty, I was not in great shape during that pregnancy. Once I got off my butt and started running again, the problem seemed to resolve itself. I think my current pee problems are more related to having two babies sitting on my bladder and a terrible cough. Well, I'm hoping that's the cause...

mamaj1220

I am a day late but I can't stand DF recently. Everything he does is annoying me, the way he breathes annoys me, the sounds he makes, his laugh, the fact I have to tell him what to help with. I just can't I am beyond pissy about it.

drkoyya

It’s not Friday but I have a confession. DH just got home and is enthusiastically telling me about some travel basketball coaching drama. Frankly, I really really don’t care but I’m pretending to care about his rant so the baby can hear dad’s voice. 

lisush

@drkoyya aww haha that's cute! Sometimes MH (who's typically not talkative) goes on rants about stuff like that and I could care less. That's a good reason to let him just continue now though hehe