Trying to Get Pregnant

January 2020 Mental Health Check-In

U.S: National Suicide Prevention :  1-800-273-TALK [8255]
Link to Canadian Resources:  https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes.  Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in R/R of dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health.  Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports. 

This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!

Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort. 

If you need help getting started, consider filling out the form below:

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):

How are you feeling?

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

IUI #1-3 all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction


TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
«1

Re: January 2020 Mental Health Check-In

  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been): Depression and Generalized Anxiety

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW

    How are you feeling?  Pretty crappy.  We are house hunting, job hunting, and TTC.  So basically my whole life is a ball of uncertainty and I have no idea what my life will look like in 6 months.  The planner in me is struggling with that.  It also feels like those decisions drastically impact each other (where do we live to minimize commutes, but we don't know my job yet; should I be fighting for my ideal job or just something to tide me over while PG? Etc). But I am quitting my job today.  They cut my hours to only 6 a week and expect more than 6 hours of unpaid prep.  Don't have time for all that!

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.). I was on meds for about 18 months, but stopped about a year ago at the recommendation of my therapist.  Trying to decide if we should restart them, but not sure how meds and TTC work.  I found a new therapist recently after our move in May.  (We moved from NC to GA in May and are currently renting.  So we are looking to buy and move again).  It has been a really rough year, but just praying that 2020 will be better.  

    @inthewoods23. Thanks for starting this thread.  I appreciate having somewhere to check in!
  • @dobiemom11 you're welcome! I like using this as a reminder to make some kind of progress towards getting my butt in therapy

    Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Anxiety and maybe depression, using this thread as a reminder to get working on finding someone to talk to professionally

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW

    How are you feeling? I've been so good this year (even though it's only 8 days!) then my work story from the WTF thread has my emotions detailed. I'm fine, but I need that piece of comfort to get myself really moving past my aggravation about the situation. Like I know I did nothing wrong but I have a hard time letting that stuff roll off my back.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
    Looking for support, and a therapist. Still have the list from the EAP group, but I've only narrowed the long list down to 5 or so people and need to dig a little deeper to find one I think I will like. I'm also still trying to figure out of I would benefit from meds or not. My issue is always right in the moment and then I'm generally okay afterward, but maybe that's just from heightened anxiety that I don't know is there so maybe meds would help? I have a lot to think about!
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
  • Loading the player...
  • @inthewoods23. I had a great therapist in NC that my company EAP found for me.  When I moved here, I just wanted what I had with her.  I kept putting it off and then realized I was spiraling down.  Finally I thought, you don't get to have a two year relationship with someone without a first appointment.  Not sure how your benefits work, so not sure if you can try out some different people before making a commitment.  But keep it up and hopefully you will find someone great!
  • bserenabserena member
    edited January 2020
    Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Generalized anxiety, depression, ADHD

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WFAF to begin first cycle

    How are you feeling? Feeling pretty good right now. I've gotten back on my meds and am feeling really stable. I like the combination I am taking now. It was tough to find non-narcotics (as I am in recovery) to help my anxiety but we finally found something that works really well. I am worried about how I will have to come off most of them though once I am pregnant.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) 
    On meds right now, I need to look into a therapist as well. I always put it off. I love that this thread is here though, it is really nice to have a place to share this sort of stuff.

    ETA Tags:
    @dobiemom11 We are in the home buying process too and it is incredibly stressful. I can't imagine if I was doing that and job hunting, that sounds like so much to deal with! Stay strong, it'll all be so worth it once your in your own home. Fx that you figure it all out soon and things go smoothly from here on out!

    @inthewoods23 Have you ever seen a psychiatrist? Might be worth seeing what they think! Also, a therapist I'm sure would be able to help you decide. Meds are hard because so much of it is trial and error, but I know I have benefited so much from them. It really is so different from person to person though. I'm sorry your dealing with all of that, anxiety can be so crushing and overwhelming. I hope you find a therapist you like and connect with soon.
  • @dobiemom11 our EAP only covers 3 sessions a year. Super lame, but it's better than nothing.

    @bserena I've never seen anybody for mental health, but looking back I probably should have been back in high school or college. But anyway, I know I need to change the way I think (thanks childhood), so that's why I thought starting with just a therapist, but I also feel I could possibly be diagnosed with anxiety/depression or what have you, but I can't do that from a therapist right? It would need to be a psychiatrist or psychologist?
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
  • @inthewoods23 A licensed therapist can diagnose, and all therapists can "assess" you which basically means they can guide you into further treatment if they feel it is needed. My husband is a social worker but once he gets his license even he can diagnose. For medication however you will definitely need to go to a psychiatrist or other medical doctor. I think in your case I would just look for a licensed (typically masters level) therapist and see how it goes with them. They can diagnose you and work with you and recommend whether or not they think you can benefit from medication. I actually get my psych meds from a nurse practitioner, and I was diagnosed when I was 18 by a therapist. There are so many different ways to go about it. I think the biggest thing is just to get started, whether with a therapist or psychologist and then go from there. Taking that leap is usually the hardest part.
  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: not ready to share my specific diagnosis but it is a mood disorder 

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): waiting for CD1 to start NTNP

    How are you feeling? Ok today! I’ve been using Rachel Hollis’ priority planner to schedule my days and it’s helping a lot!

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) I was diagnosed with a mood disorder in March 2018 and have had a hard time accepting it. I’m getting better about talking about it but don’t share the specifics with many people. I’m on three different medications to manage my mood and they’ve worked wonders. I see my therapist at least every other week and my psychiatrist every month. I did an intensive outpatient program in September that helped a lot too. 

    @bserena Talk to your prescriber about TTC and meds. When I was TTC a few years ago while taking meds for depression, my psychiatrist made sure to prescribe something that would be safe during pregnancy, just in case. It’s always more ideal to be off all meds, but sometimes that’s just not possible depending on how you’re doing. 

    @inthewoods23 I second want @bserena said. It’s really hard to reach out for help, but it can be the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself. Also when choosing someone, just because you may an appt with them and see them doesn’t mean you’re set for life (unless your insurance doesn’t let you change for whatever reason). If you don’t like the first therapist you see, go find another one. Find one you like and can trust. It’ll make the process so much better for your healing. 

    Married 07.21.07
    DS#1 01.23.09
    DS#2 08.01.11
    TTC#3  08.31.15
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
    Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
    Left tube removed
    dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
    BC: February-October 2019
    TTA: November-December 2019
    NTNP: January 2020!

  • @bserena thank you! Is my anxiety showing? Haha 😅 I'm so concerned about starting myself on the right path. I was thinking I could find a therapist at least and maybe as part of my plan with them is to determine what my needs are and if I should persue treatment through other avenues. And as far as I can tell, a lot of my issues stem from my upbringing, but at the same time I really don't want to thinking about it all again by talking to a therapist, but I definitely would like to think about how I navigate the present to help me in the future.
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
  • @inthewoods23 every therapist is different and has different approaches to how they will work with you. And when you find a good one, they won't pressure you to talk about things until you are ready! Many therapists are happy to work on just building healthier new coping skills and habits, vs. someone like a trauma therapist who focuses on the past. Many therapists will also do consultations or talk to you on the phone before your appointment, so you can get a sense of who they are! It can be scary, especially as someone with anxiety, to take that first step. But honestly, it is so worth it. Plus, you can always take it slowly. Go in and talk about your day, about small things, and work up to the bigger stuff. I don't know where I'd be without the help I've gotten in regards to this.

    @linzrunz thank you for mentioning that, I definitely will! I have an appointment next month and will make sure to talk about that. 
  • Ok, I know it's irrational to be this upset about the shoe story from the WTF thread because it's so insignificant in the grand scheme of the world I'm in, but when there so much other shit going on in my life and it feels like I'm getting kicked down from every direction, it just really hurts.

    Right now I'm in this state of needing validation that my hurt feelings about this are acceptable. 😭 
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
  • Mental health diagnosis: Generalized anxiety disorder

    Status: Endlessly WTO after getting Nexplanon out 34 days ago. Have already managed to convince myself that my ovaries don’t work (see anxiety, above), and that after 12 years of hormonal contraception, they have forgotten how. 

    How are you feeling today? Very irrationally angry at the universe being unfair. **TW I had 2 patients this week who were “unexpectedly” pregnant. It just made me really angry that 20 somethings who are crappy at remembering pills get pregnant no problem, but wonderful people who are desperately trying are struggling. I want to give everyone in the IF thread a hug. 

    Where are you in your mental health journey?
    I have always dealt with anxiety, but was only briefly on lexapro while in school. Since being out of school I have mostly been OK, but the whole concept of trying to get pregnant is kicking the anxiety in to high gear. 

    @inthewoods23 I second all of the above recommendations about finding a good therapist. I will also add that if you have a good primary care doctor, they may be able to help from a medication perspective if you are not ready to see a psychiatrist. I work in primary care, and we manage these kind of medications all the time. Sometimes based on a diagnosis or recommendation from a therapist, but frequently even before an official diagnosis is made we can start something. Also, there definitely are medications that are generally thought to be safe while TTC, just make sure to tell any doctor you see that you are trying so they stick with safer medications. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about medications.
  • @fitzfizz when I had my first Nexplanon removed it took about 60 days to get a period. I was temping and my body attempted to ovulate but failed, then it basically went through the motions for another month until I got back to normal. I'm currently doing it again, you're not alone and this is not an abnormal experience (FWIW).
    fitzfizz
  • @inthewoods23 I would be upset and ticked off too!! Especially with all of the other stuff you are dealing with, it is totally normal and okay for you to feel hurt about it!! Sometimes it is the small things that seem insignificant that just push us over the edge. Hope they can figure it out for you and you'll still be able to get them and hopefully soon! People can be so inconsiderate.
  • I love that we do these. Great job starting this for us, @inthewoods23.

    Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with panic disorder specifier.

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WTO (I think). This is my first cycle post-D&C, and my temps have been off this week due to our furnace being on the fritz (freezing in the house yesterday morning, hot as balls this morning, etc). 

    How are you feeling?: I'm doing okay. Much, much better than December. Being out of grad school has made me realize just how much headspace was being taken up by homework, research, client issues, etc. I've actually starting doing puzzles again, and it is so damn gratifying. I love it so much. This new year has me feeling reinvigorated and ready to proceed to the next chapter.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.): I'm doing really well, actually. My grad school program was in clinical mental health, so through that journey I've come to recognize a lot sooner when I'm not doing well, so that self-awareness and attunement helped carry me through the latter part of 2019. I'm still struggling a bit, but as time goes on it's getting better.
    Me: 37 / DH: 41
    Due with baby #2: Feb 2022


    inthewoods23
  • Sigh, another week not being kind. I'm struggling again with everything that is going on.

    Robotics is it's usual amount of stress, I don't think I'm sleeping great, a customer last week was rude via email and again yesterday another was calling and emailing left and right, and I had my car's oil changed yesterday and found out my tie rods are loose so things need to be replaced and that's an hours long thing so now I need to schedule an appointment for that which entails being taken by the dealer's shuttle car to and from work that day, plus it's at least $100 for the repair. Also my tires are worn and need replacing too. Add on top of that finding out the health screenings through DH's work that are on site are the day we fly out for a cousin's wedding so that's another separate thing we have to schedule so that we can get the wellness incentive rates for his insurance next year.

    I don't feel like I see DH enough even though we go to bed every night together. 😢

    My goal today is to pick a therapist and hopefully give them a call later this week.
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
  • Hope it is okay if I jump in here since I’m new. If not let me know and I’ll definitely wait until I’m more established:) 

    Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
    I have Generalized Anxiety and Depression 

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
    Benched 

    How are you feeling?
    Really disappointed and depressed. Getting my period every two weeks for the past almost 4 months is really taking its toll. I feel like I was given a lot of hope for this cycle at my last dr appointment only to get my period right after I should have been ovulating.  

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) I take cymbalta for my anxiety as it works for both it and some chronic pain I deal with. It’s really helpful but right now I am tapering off of it as I try to figure out what is going on with my body.  I did counseling for some time but since I am therapist myself I am trying to use the tools I know. Today and yesterday have been rough I’m sure hormones but I’ve cried a lot and just feel on edge. I feel guilty as well because I cried yesterday walking past the maternity section of target. I am lucky to have 2 amazing little girls so I feel i shouldn’t be upset about it taking time but I am... 
  • I love your positive message! I did not get what I wanted done this weekend and I was beating myself up about it. It is good to be reminded that self care is also an important weekend task! 
  • Could use a little bit of love today/the next few days.  I went to pick up a prescription an hour and a half away and they were out of stock.  Stupid me should have called first, but I assumed it's a common prescription and I was just there yesterday asking if it would be ready today.  Ugh.  Because it's a super controlled substance, the pharmacy couldn't transfer it to another one and they won't get it in until next week.  So I called my psychiatrist to have her write another prescription to a different pharmacy and she's out of the country until next week.  No one else in the office will write a prescription for it.  So I called my PCP to see if he could do it and he no longer works there.  So, they're sending a note to another doctor to see if she'd be comfortable filling it.  I'm expecting the answer to be no and having to get through my weekend without it.  In short, this medicine helps give me more energy.  Without it, I tend to have to take a nap during the day and drag all day even when I get 12+ hours of sleep.  It's been a God send and I'm not mentally prepared to get through my busy weekend without it.

    Married 07.21.07
    DS#1 01.23.09
    DS#2 08.01.11
    TTC#3  08.31.15
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
    Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
    Left tube removed
    dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
    BC: February-October 2019
    TTA: November-December 2019
    NTNP: January 2020!

  • @linzrunz ugh that really sucks! Hope things can work out so you have the meds for the weekend.

    This pales in comparison, but the days I'm out of Midol or forget to bring it with me to work are the crummiest days of AF because I feel half functional. I can't imagine being not functional for multiple days! Stay strong!
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
    linzrunz
  • Midol has been a day saving medicine for me sometimes so it's a good comparison.  It just sucks to know how "functional" is supposed to feel.  I don't want to go back to how I used to be.  It wasn't healthy.  I know I'm also over analyzing it and freaking out more than I should.  I'm sure I'll get through it but that's not what my brain is telling me.

    Married 07.21.07
    DS#1 01.23.09
    DS#2 08.01.11
    TTC#3  08.31.15
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
    Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
    Left tube removed
    dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
    BC: February-October 2019
    TTA: November-December 2019
    NTNP: January 2020!

    inthewoods23
  • @linzrunz. Wishing you the best and hopefully you can get it all worked out before the weekend!  You are amazing and can totally handle this!  Brains can be such liars sometimes.  

    Is there anything on your super busy plate that can be rearranged or put off until later?  For me, just trying to be realistic with my to-do list and my mental health status has been helpful.  Some days victory is "I moved a mountain" and some days victory is "I put on real clothes and ate something".  

    Let us know if you need more cheerleading!  
    linzrunz
  • @dobiemom11 true words! I finally cleared off the dishes from the counter tonight and some of the pans had been sitting there dirty for over a week! I help alleviate some of my anxiety about them by getting stuff in and out of the dishwasher so at least SOME of the dishes are getting cleaned so I feel less bad about the stuff I hand wash.
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
  • Thank you @dobiemom11 and @inthewoods23  I really appreciate the kind words.

    As for rescheduling anything this weekend, it's not really possible.  I'm going to try to work in time for at least one nap during day and make sure I get to bed early.  Never got a call back from my local doctor's office, so I'll follow up with them tomorrow.  H is fully aware of what's going on and is being extra attentive.  

    Married 07.21.07
    DS#1 01.23.09
    DS#2 08.01.11
    TTC#3  08.31.15
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
    Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
    Left tube removed
    dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
    BC: February-October 2019
    TTA: November-December 2019
    NTNP: January 2020!

  • @inthewoods23. I did that myself yesterday as well and then turned right around and made more hand-wash dishes prepping for dinner.  I was like seriously!  This meal prepping leads to running the dishwasher every single day.  But one step at a time...today planning to tackle the closet.  

    @linzrunz Yay for attentive H!! Sounds like you have a good plan on how to handle this unforeseen circumstance and still get it all done.  

    linzrunz
  • flowntheloopflowntheloop member
    edited January 2020
    First of all, this thread is amazing and I commend everyone that shared their diagnoses and struggles here already. Mental health is such a taboo subject, and I know many of us shudder at the thought of sharing it with others (even family members). I hope my list of diagnoses doesn't scare anyone away! :scream: For those with multiple diagnoses, I hope that you will open up here as well!

    Mental Health Diagnoses (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
    •Autism Spectrum (many of my other diagnoses fall under this umbrella)
    •C-PTSD
    •Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD)
    •Anxiety/Panic Disorder (with multiple phobias, the majority being social ones)
    •Depression
    •Obsessive-Compulsive disorder (OCD)
    •Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
    •PMDD (and possibly the rare Post-Menstrual Syndrome)

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
    TWW. Femvue/Bloodwork upcoming (after next cycle start).

    How are you feeling?
    Pretty stable at this moment. Not looking forward to PMDD starting next week. Just enjoying a quiet morning on a rainy day!

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
    I took SSRIs and anxiety meds for 7 years (up until 2014), but I weaned off of them when they started creating more problems than they were solving. I probably need to seek counseling again, but I have a very hard time trusting people or opening up to complete strangers (at least in person). I am meditating daily and practicing yoga to manage some of my symptoms. I also use a SAD lamp and take Vitamin D to help with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

    I'm currently concerned about post-menstrual symptoms and thinking I might be having an estrogen drop or some kind of hormonal irregularity right after my period. I'm experiencing severe depression/self-destructive thoughts during a 24-48 period, and it has become quite a disruption! I'm hoping to get some answers from my RE at my appointment next month.
    Me: 38 DH:38.
    Dating Anniversary: 1999. Marriage Anniversary: 2001.
    TTC #1 since 3/2019
  • flowntheloopflowntheloop member
    edited January 2020
    @dobiemom11 It sounds like you are going through so much stress right now! I hope you are taking some time for self-care in the midst of all the craziness! I hope your new therapist works out.
    Also, welcome to Georgia! I live here as well!

    @inthewoods23 Therapist-searching is so difficult! I hope you find one that is helpful. Definitely research/weigh the pros and cons of medicating. Only YOU know what is right, so don't let someone else convince you otherwise!

    @bserena I'm glad you have found meds that work for you. Have you already spoken with your doctor about if/when to begin weaning?

    @linzrunz *hugs* I'm glad you are getting some help, and I completely understand your hesitation in sharing your diagnosis. I decided to take a leap and post my huge list (see below) of diagnoses. Just know you are not alone and there is nothing "wrong" with you! We are just all wired differently, and this can cause complications in our daily lives (especially in this crazy world) sometimes!


    Coming back for more tags later...


    Me: 38 DH:38.
    Dating Anniversary: 1999. Marriage Anniversary: 2001.
    TTC #1 since 3/2019
    linzrunzinthewoods23
  • @flowntheloop welcome and I applaud you for being so open about your mental health issues. It took me awhile to be able to be open about them and I love to see when others are able to as well.

    Just posting to vent/rant a bit... I already ranted about the fight I had with DH last night in WTO, but I wanted to vent here a bit too (sorry!). My anxiety is super high today as a result of my catching him yesterday doing something he knows hurts me. He said to me "well you are never home"... but I am only so busy because I work more than one job to help pay off our (mostly his) debt and get us into a home and I am in school as well, while he sits at home. But now, I am sitting here just worried that tonight while I am in class he will do it again, and my anxiety can be crippling. When we went through this a year or so ago, every single time he was home and I wasn't I was anxious that he was doing this and hiding it from me again, and I don't want to feel that way again now. UGH. Hopefully it'll all work out, I am just frustrated and hurt right now.

  • Sorry to be away for a bit after joining. Had some crazy work stress pop up. @inthewoods23 OB said it may still be a reaction to coming off the birth control. They did an ultrasound and blood draw and everything looked normal. Which is great just frustrating. I got another period 2 weeks again after the last.  

    The hormones definitely are making my anxiety act up so I went back on my meds which has definitely helped this past week. Thanks for asking :) 

    @flowntheloop welcome! Hope you are able to get some answers at your next appointment. 

  • @flowntheloop I was meaning to ask where in GA you live, but I couldn't find the thread again.  We just moved to outside Atlanta.  
  • @bserena It is strangely easier to be open with y'all than it is with family. I'm glad to hear that you are starting to open up about yours as well!
    Also, I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through some struggles. Just keep that communication open and fight for each other! I've totally been in your position, and there is almost always a solution!
    @allthingscozy No need to apologize! You take care of you! I'm glad the meds are helping you with anxiety!
    @dobiemom11 I'm just north of you, near Carters Lake/Ellijay/Jasper. In the foothills! My husband works in Atlanta though.




    Me: 38 DH:38.
    Dating Anniversary: 1999. Marriage Anniversary: 2001.
    TTC #1 since 3/2019
  • @dobiemom11 @flowntheloop you both are making me miss Atlanta! I am originally from Vermont but lived in Atlanta for about 12 years before moving to West TN in 2017. I lived in Alpharetta/Duluth/Johns Creek areas while I was there. I miss it!
    flowntheloop
  • @bserena and @flowntheloop. I currently live in Lawrenceville, but we are house hunting.  Trying to balance commutes for myself and DH, so it has been a challenge.  Originally we were only looking around here, but I started a job in Atlanta and the commute is brutal.  We love Duluth, but there are not too many houses for sale in our specs.  @flowntheloop. Your DH must have a bear of a commute- I can't even imagine.  
  • @dobiemom11 He does, indeed! He has been driving it for over a decade now, and they pay/benefits are just too good to pass up.

    I don't think we could ever live close to the city though. We drive down to ATL every few months to restock on health foods or go to the Asian markets, but we got enough of city living in Boston and Seattle (in our 20s). The forests/mountains are our home! The house pricing is ridiculous down your way.
    Me: 38 DH:38.
    Dating Anniversary: 1999. Marriage Anniversary: 2001.
    TTC #1 since 3/2019
  • My medicine saga continues.  I'm trying to find a doctor in my home state to prescribe a super controlled substance so I don't have to chance being off the medication again.  I called my local clinic to get in to see a new doctor (since my last one left) and the one I really wanted doesn't take new patients.  So I went with another one I've heard good things about.  Her earliest appointment is Feb 18 which kinda sucks, but it's not as far out as other doctors I know.  So I'll just have to deal.  But according to the girl I talked to, this will just be a referral appointment to another doctor who can then do a psych eval which is ridiculous because I'm already seeing a psychiatrist.  I just want another doctor in my home state to be able to prescribe the medicine.  I told them I'd release my records to them from my psychiatrist, but apparently this is what I have to do.  It just sucks that people take advantage of the system and then the people (like me) who actually need the medication have to jump through SO many hoops to get it.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

    Married 07.21.07
    DS#1 01.23.09
    DS#2 08.01.11
    TTC#3  08.31.15
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 05.16.17
    Hysteroscopy 10.04.17 10.05.17
    Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy/HSG 01.10.19
    Left tube removed
    dx: Endometriosis, Adenomyosis
    BC: February-October 2019
    TTA: November-December 2019
    NTNP: January 2020!

  • @linzrunz Sorry your medicine saga has been so annoying. Not to pry, but in general if you are talking about stimulant like adderall/vyvanse/modafinil a primary care doctor would be able to prescribe it as long as they have recent notes from a psychiatrist and everything is stable. Our usual policy is that if everything seems above board (not using other controlled substances, no drug abuse history, etc) and we have notes from a psychiatrist about someone being stable on a medication, we will prescribe it, controlled or not. Essentially, I hope the prospective new PCP is reasonable and doesn't need a new referral. If you are able to bring psych notes to the establish care appointment, that will usually help make things move faster. FX that everything works out OK!
  • Well it only took me a month and a half, but I finally emailed a therapist in the hopes that they accept my EAP and insurance so I can start going to therapy sessions.


    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
    mvt2003allthingscozyfeather_heatherlinzrunz
  • @inthewoods23 Yayy! So glad you did. That can be the hardest part.
  • @bserena I think part of it taking so long is not only because we've been busy, but I also had a period of being generally happy. It puts me in that state of thinking I don't need therapy. But I crashed hard late last week and that feeling went through the weekend so I told myself to send an email by the end of this week.

    It's both and easy and hard thing to do. I probably wrote 3 sentences - explaining I was looking for help with anxiety and depression, and asking them to confirm if they still accept my EAP and insurance since I got the list from the EAP back in December.

    That's all... But so hard to do because I feel like I'm a random stranger walking into a room and butting in to start a conversation with someone. How do I begin? What do I say? At the same time, I need to stop thinking about it so much!
    *TW* History:
    Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016

    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC put on pause
    fitzfizz
  • @inthewoods23 I get that! But remember, they do this all of the time and they will know how to initiate the conversation, so really try not to stress to much about what to/what not to say. Typically the first appointment they will just ask easy questions too so they can get to know you and you can get comfortable in that environment.
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