PAIF New Mommies - January 2020

mbradfo2

Yes - 2020!!!!

How's everyone doing? Kiddos enjoyed the holiday season, I hope. Did you make any new year's resolution? Mine is to take care of myself from time to time -- I've realized I'm spending so much time everyone is happy, clean and fed that I don't pay attention to my own needs really. Every second I get free time, I sort of freeze and start thinking about all of the other things that need to get done, not that I should take 15 minutes to unwind with a book or a favorite game. 

I think we are finally reaching the language explosion! Anne has been copying and using all sorts of new words this week - backyard, apple, etc.  Her favorite word is cookie....(you can guess what she likes to eat). Our local grocery store gives out free cookies to the kids to keep them occupied while riding in the cart and one day my husband forgot to get one (even though he had talked about it before with her to encourage her to get dressed). In the produce aisle, she looked up at him with big eyes and said, "Cookie?"  :-:smiley: 

We're also FINALLY starting to get close to the end of the project. Provided DH isn't sick tomorrow (he's feeling crappy today). we're going to Ikea first thing to check out storage solutions for her play room.

Hopeful_mom

Mommy brain I just posted in out other thread so here it is...

@dukie001  I still prefer pampers for my girl. We have leakes too and once the batch of diapers were defective and that’s extremely frustrating to say the least!! Do u have the leaks mostly when he’s sleeping...sorry if I kissed that info!  Mine hates being changed so making sure I get everything pulled out on her legs it tough enough.we do many loads of laundry here!  

My last msg never posted  so hoping all had happy holidays and new year! 

@k_mama91 Welcome and A big congrats!! The journey is long and hard and now comes the exhausting fun I’m sure! Hope you’re healing and feeling well! 

@wildrainbow omg that’s amazing!!! I love hearing such wonderful surprise hoping it’s a sticky bean!!

@BusinessWife how are thing’s looking! 

We went to my nieces Chanukah party at school and it was just so cute to see my girl having a ball and not afraid of the bigger kids running around, she just joined in the fun and literally never wanted to leave!! That was when the meltdown happened Oy!   

@mbradfo2 so excited to almost be done with things! How fun Anne is starting to talk!  Mine does a lot of mimicking but hoping she’ll start to say more words soon!  Right now she just likes grabbing my had to where she would like to go...which is the fridge or the tv.  She has started coloring with her crayons but it’s tricky to just get her to use them on paper and not the furniture and walls!  This is an interesting stage for sure! 

Now we are teething again, what is everyone using to get through? 

Question for anyone that went for another baby and was still breastfeeding what protocol did you end up doing for your FET?

cashewchicken

@mbradfo2 My new year’s resolutions are the same year after year. Eat healthy and exercise, lol. This year I really have to be serious about them because I need to stay (or get) healthy if I want to live long enough to see my grand babies! Taking care of yourself is really important and it’s great that you’re going to do more of it this year. Lately I’ve been going to acupuncture weekly and it’s so nice to just lay still and enjoy the calming music while getting acupuncture’d. I’m going to start up yoga, too at lunch time. 

Yay for language explosion! My son hit the phase from 18 months to 20 months. He had maybe 4, 5 words at 18 months and from there increased to about 30. Anne’s favorite word is cookies? So cute. Mine is Elmo. Yeah that’s his favorite tv show (technically the only tv show he watches) and his favorite books too. 

@Hopeful_mom It’s so cute to see your child interact with other kids. My son loves his cousins, two are about his age and the other two are much older. He gives them hugs and kisses, sometimes against their wishes. Lol. 

My clinic won’t do FET unless fully weaned and had 3 menstrual cycles post weaning. But one of the ladies on the infertility board mentioned that her clinic will do natural FET (unmedicated) if still breastfeeding. Of course that means that you have to already have your period. My period didn’t come back until I dropped feeding/pumping down to once per day. So even if my clinic allowed me to pursue natural cycle FET, I probably would have just continued on with my plan to wean him off. 

[Deleted User]

@Hopeful_mom as far as protocols, we started with natural and then tried medicated that ended up being cancelled when (weirdly) my progesterone didn't rise.  So even that was just oral estrace and pio.  We had luck on our third natural cycle, which was just HCG trigger and endometrin.

Tulips29

Hi everyone and Happy New Year! I've been meaning to join in and post here for a while now and then keep getting distracted and forget. I had my 2nd IVF baby 4 weeks ago. She came a month early and surprised us all at 35.5 weeks. She joins her big brother, who was our first IVF babe and just turned 3. Needless to say, life with a newborn and a toddler has been pretty crazy and keeping us super busy around here. It's definitely a huge adjustment and right now we're just trying to keep sane. The toddler meltdowns and tantrums are exhausting...he cries over every....little...thing! He's been a loving big brother to his little sister, but we realize the jealousy is coming out of him in different ways. He sees me with the baby all the time - feeding, changing, etc...so he started saying he only wants to do everything with daddy and doesn't want to do anything with me. It was pretty heartbreaking when DH pointed this out. I didn't even realize this was his way of expressing frustration with me over not spending much time with him now. Anyone else have a toddler along with a newborn and found a way of dealing with this? We try to all be in the same room when I'm with the baby, so even when I nurse her, our son is always around, but I guess that's not me spending time with him in his eyes. 

mbradfo2

@Tulips29
While I don't have personal experience, I've heard that setting aside a block of time each day just for one-on-one with the older child (maybe even setting a timer so he knows this is his special time with mommy) can help. And during that time, you do whatever he wants (within reason) and don't focus on anyone or anything else. Maybe a special visit to the park or just sitting down and playing with blocks. Are you pumping at all so DH could take over a feeding or can you fit a time in between feedings? It may help. But I think this is all normal behavior with a new baby. My parents said I actually put a thumbtack in my little sister's crib when she arrived home and banged on the piano when she and my mom were sleeping. When my sister had her second, I made an effort as auntie to pay special attention to my older niece (giving her a present at the baby's christening, etc) but I know they struggled with this as well.

wildrainbow

@Tulips29 When we brought ds2 home, ds1 was jealous at first. It was ok for a bit while H was still on paternity leave, but when he went back to work, it was awful. What I did was when baby slept, I made a point of cuddling with ds1, or we would watch a special show, or something like that. It helped, especially when I had to go get the baby again. He slowly started understanding that he had to share mommy time, but that I would never forget him. I also kept him on a strict routine, which definitely helped curb some tantrums. The baby also "bought" him a special gift as a thank you for being a big brother. It was a lunchbox, but ds1 still remembers it's from ds2. 

dukie001

@Hopeful_mom It doesn’t happen necessarily at night. I can’t even pick out a time. Mostly when he is on his tummy or on the side. I bought Luvs to try....they are ok and cheap. Btw just finished cleaning (Luvs) the blow out up his neck 😃 .
@Tulips29 Congratulations on your little princess ❤️! 

AFM I’m back to work 😢😢😢 and this is the first week away from my baby. It is sooo hard. I leave at 0545 and come back 1730. So I only get hour and a half with him before his bedtime. Plus, pumping at work is not a joke. But I want to keep going to not dry out. I think it just mentally hard. Agh...I also built up pretty big stash of BM. We bought a chest freezer for it, and I actually donated 600oz last week to make room for newer milk. 

It was also hard to start working out again, I’m sooooooo out of shape 😞. Every muscle in my body hurts right now, but I only have 3 months to get back in shape, so I have to keep pushing.
It looks like I’m just complaining here.🤦🏻‍♀️ On the positive note my little man is growing well, it’s so cool seeing him cooing, he is already rolling over from tummy to back and trying to sit up already when leaning on me at 45 degree angle. 

mbradfo2

@dukie001
Those first few weeks are hard -- hang in there! It gets easier and before you know it, he'll be up later and you can spend more time with him when you get home! 

[Deleted User]

Going back is so hard! @dukie001 and those are long hours. (((hugs))) it gets better

Tulips29

@wildrainbow @mbradfo2 thanks for the suggestions ladies. We did get a present from the baby for our son, which we gave to him when we got back from the hospital with her. He was and still continues to be very affectionate and loving towards her, which is great. It's the jealousy and tantrums towards us that are a problem. Yesterday I made sure to feed her and put her down for a nap right before he came home from daycare, and spent some time with him before dinner. All was great until he had a major meltdown over not wanting what was made for dinner and then another one over not getting to watch cartoons with dinner (we allow for very limited screen time and not with meals which he knows) and then another one because his toys fell on the floor. It's so draining at times. But then bedtime was fine, he was a perfect angel again, we read bedtime stories together and all was great. I will continue to make more of an effort to spend more time with him. 

@dukie001 going back to work and getting into a routine is tough. It will definitely get easier! I remember feeling very overwhelmed pumping at work initially and getting into the groove of things, especially when I had meetings scheduled during my pumping times. After a while I decided my baby is more important, and I'd get on the meeting via my phone from the pumping room and would tell my boss I had to pump and would attend the meeting "virtually". I also used some of that quiet time to put my head against the wall while pumping, close my eyes and take a few minutes power nap to recharge. Eventually I looked forward to my pumping times alone with no one bothering me at work Also, kudos for stashing up so much milk! Way to go! 

persnickity

@Tulips29 I don't know if all of that is due to jealously or just due to major changes. I've been told by our daycare teachers that anytime major changes happen, it's pretty typically for tantrums like this to happen. They see it when the kids move up to a different room or when a bunch of new kids come into a room or right after extended breaks, where the kids have to get used to the routine again. I'm sure jealousy plays a part and definitely keep spending time with him, but it might be due to adjusting to change too.

mbradfo2

Oh tantrums. I feel like everything causes a tantrum these days! I especially like the all-out ones where she flings herself on the floor and wails. 

I'm just waiting for this month of sickness to be over with -- Anne was sent home from school last Monday with a fever and tested positive for flu b (AGAIN!). She was still sick yesterday so I took her back to the doctor and now she has bronchitis. Crossing my fingers, but it seems like the antibiotics are kicking in and she's had her first normal temp on wake-up today in a week. Still has runny nose and stuff, but I was happy to see a smiling face first thing in the morning rather than a sickly looking one. To top it off, DH and I are both sick with bronchitis still. We got antibiotics also, but it caused my intermittent asthma to flare up and my  mom decided to prescribe some prednisone for me since I was having trouble breathing when talking/etc.  The pharmacy was so swamped by sick people that they had none left so had to order it! Hopefully I'll get it today. It's been really frustrating being home from work for so long, but they're understanding thankfully and I've been working at home when I feel better/get breaks. 

wildrainbow

@mbradfo2 That's awful! It sucks when everyone is sick. Hope the prednisone gets in soon and you start to feel better. Hope y'all all do. 

cashewchicken

@mbradfo2 I’m sorry. Hope Ann is better soon and you and DH too! Ann recently started daycare, right? My son’s pediatrician told me that the first six months in daycare is the worst for the child and the parents. So true. I’ve always considered myself to have a great immune system but oh boy. For the first time in my life I had to go see my PCP for a sinus infection I just couldn’t get rid of. I had it for a whole month. That six-month period I was prescribed antibiotic twice, once for the sinus infection and again for a strep throat. But it’ll get better! My son has been in daycare since 6 months (he’s now almost 22 months) and this winter, he had maybe one episode of runny nose? That’s it. And DH and I haven’t gotten sick that much either. 

mbradfo2

I think it doesn't help that it's been such a bad flu season! Literally everyone who was sick one day tested positive for the flu in the office >.< I'm not normally a sick person but between Anne starting daycare and getting back to work in the office (pediatrics), I'm getting the double whammy, I think. Of course, DH will act like he's dying if he has the tiniest cold lol

Tulips29

@mbradfo2 I'm with you on the tantrums. I relate to literally every single meme of "today my toddler cried because...." you can fill in the blank with literally anything! Sorry to hear your LO is sick. We started daycare in the summer and had some sort of virus/sickness/etc literally every other week. I can't wait for winter to end! 

Ladies, need some breastfeeding advice from those bf'ing. I was an exclusive pumper with my son and really want to mainly nurse my daughter now. We struggled first few weeks with latching and it being super painful and now have gotten into the groove of things more or less. However, here's my dilemma...she nurses for so long! She can nurse for 40-60 mins in total between both breasts). She is gaining weight really well. I used to do weighted feedings initially since I was afraid she wouldn't get enough from the breast (PTSD from having this issue with my son), then stopped after we saw she was gaining well. Now the pediatrician said to stop feeding her so long. He said 15 mins max on each breast and stop because she's using me as a pacifier. I tried 15 mins per breast and felt like a terrible mom taking food away from her. Then I started doing weighted feeds to see how much she was getting in that time and it wasn't that much. The reason I say that is because we give her 1-2 bottles at night so I can get some rest and DH can feed her and she drinks 4 oz per bottle. From the breast she gets 2-3 oz max from both breasts in 30 minutes total. So makes me feel like she's not getting enough from the breast in 30 mins if she easily takes 4 oz from a bottle. So I'm contemplating either not sticking to the 30 mins (unless I stick to it longer and she eventually learns to eat faster?) or I turn to exclusive pumping. What would you do? 

Also - how do you handle sleepy nurslings? Nothing I do to wake her up mid-feedings works super well. I started doing diaper changes in the middle of a feeding to wake her up. So I'll feed her from one breast, then change diaper and put her on the other breast, but she still can be so sleepy most of the time. This is where the 15 mins per breast seems so little to me if I'm waking her up half of that time. 

Lastly - talk to me about spit up. My son didn't have this issue, but this girl started spitting up so much! We burp her throughout feeds, hold her upright for like 10-15 mins after a feeding...but even holding her longer she will spit up as soon as we put her down...sometimes projectile spitting. Any suggestions for dealing with this? 

Thanks for reading through all my issues! 

wildrainbow

@Tulips29 I dealt with this verbatim. Your little girl was born at 35 weeks, right? Late term preemies are sleepy eaters. They are very tired. Ds1 was born at 35 weeks and he took forever nursing. I really was afraid I would be chained to my chair forever. Once he hit 40 weeks he woke up a bit and by the time he hit 6 weeks or 7 weeks, he was much better nursing. 

As far as sleepy nursers, I had to strip ds1 down to his diaper and even use a wipe to rub on him to wake him up. It helped, but honestly, you may just have to wait for her to "wake" up as it were. Does she have a tongue tie? Ds1 has one at the very back and it took a little bit for him to get the hang of nursing efficiently. I will say that for bottle feeding, are you using a slow flow nipple and doing it slowly? If you are just letting her drink it straight, she will gulp down 4oz. Ds1 did the same. Bottles are easier to work than the breast and we already discussed that late term preemies are lazy and tired. 

With the reflux, which is what this sounds like, depending on if she is in pain, you may look into zantac. Otherwise, remember that her digestive system is still under developed and it will cause more reflux moments. She will grow out of it, but just keep lots of towels and cloths on hand. I kept ds1 without clothes for the worst of his because I was changing his outfits so much. I'm sorry I dont have a lot recourse for the reflux, definitely propping her up while she sleeps with help. 

Whew, that was a lot. Seriously, I've gone through this with both boys and I will be happy to talk to you more about it. Nursing late term preemies is its own challenge and a lot of people, even drs, forget they arent fullterm and therefore will not act like full term babies. Let me know if you have any more questions or need clarification as I ds1 was crawling over me when I typed this, so....it might not make total sense, lol. 

mbradfo2

@Tulips29
We would always do a diaper change right before a feed or rub her tummy while feeding to keep her awake. Also we played music -- not sleepy stuff, something upbeat and complex. I like to sing so I would just play a whole soundtrack for a Disney movie or a musical and sing along with it while playing with her toes or tickling her. My husband would do electronica or bluegrass....haha. She's gaining weight well so maybe your ped can give you the okay to just let her sleep and skip part of a feeding (pump to keep up the supply though). I understand your nerves! It's so hard with the late preemies since they seem like full term newborns but aren't quite there yet. 

Tulips29

@wildrainbow it all makes perfect sense, thank you for that detailed explanation! Yes, my daughter was born at 35.5 weeks so she just passed her due date recently and is now 6 weeks. I'm going to patiently wait for her to become a more alert eater. Some days are better than others, but some feedings are just me forcing her and trying to do anything possible to wake her up. She screams for food and wakes up from her nap hungry, but then when I pick her up and put her on me to eat, I guess she cozies up in the warm arms and goes back to sleep. It gets really frustrating. If you give her a bottle, she takes it even in her sleep...I know it's cuz it's easier for her. And we do use the slowest nipple, so it still takes forever to feed her from a bottle. I will bring up her reflux at the next appointment, although she doesn't seem in pain from it. 

@mbradfo2 we also did diaper changes before a feed, but she'd fall asleep half way, so we started doing it mid-way. We've also done everything you've described and nothing. Girl loves her sleep! 

Question - what are the best bottles you've found for breastfed babies and ones that don't leak? We use comotomo now. They worked well for my son but with her, the milk keeps leaking out of her mouth. 

wildrainbow

@Tulips29 Both my boys only like dr. Brown bottles.  They worked well and we never had a leak issue. In regards to the reflux,  you can try to bf on an incline, I.E. lean backing a recliner and do a kind of upright feed. I had to do it with ds2 because he has terrible reflux. 

Hopeful_mom

@Tulips29n congrats on your princess! Sounds like u have your hands full and r doing great!! My girl was full term and used me like a pacifier and still does so be careful! I wish mine loved sleep she grew out of it fast and feels like she’s missing something.  I tried the 15 min each boob it just didn’t work! And now it’s just tougher and can’t get her to sleep without them. 
For your bottles are they new? I noticed with the cosmo after use the nipples seem to be a lil stretched out, I can always tell by how fast my girl drinks the bottle...I do love the bottles though 

persnickity

@Tulips29 I'll second everything the others said and also add in that DD was born 42 weeks and was a very slow eater at first. She would take forever to nurse and fall asleep constantly. There LC told her to stroke her cheek or play with her hand constantly while she was nursing to get her to stay awake enough to eat.

In the end, it got better, but DD was a slow and frequent eater when nursing and is a slow and frequent eater at 2.5 years old. 

Tulips29

@wildrainbow interestingly, dr brown bottles didn't work for my son 3 years ago and leaked majorly for him. Plus they have so many parts to wash, I hated them! I'd love to try another bottle with less parts that won't leak for her. And interesting suggestion regarding reclined feeding. It never seemed comfortable to me, but I'll give it a try. 

@Hopeful_mom that is honestly a huge fear, being used as a pacifier and a boob slave for years. I'm already seeing she can't fall asleep without a boob. Another reason why I'm contemplating pumping and bottle feeding. Had none of these issues with my son. And my comotomo bottles aren't new. Think that may be the issue? I didn't think of that.

@persnickity my son is also a slow eater to this day...but as long as he eats I'm happy! 

[Deleted User]

@Tulips29 we love our joovy bottles!  We had to ditch the glass and stuck with the play, but they have been great, and no leaks (as long as the vent ring is properly seated when you screw on the cap. Obv if the mouth is not screwed on straight it will leak, but that's only happened a couple times when it was dark and/or I was in a rush.) She always went back and forth between breast and bottlw easily for me with those, too. 

persnickity

@Tulips29 for bottles, we used Lifefactory.

For comfort sucking vs nursing, can you feel a difference in the way she sucks? DD would use a different pattern for comfort. I learned to tell them apart and just delatched her if it was just comfort. Then tried other ways to soothe. It doesn't work for all babies, but it did for her.

cashewchicken

Late to the convo, but what others said, it took a while for my son to get into the groove of breastfeeding. He was born at 38 weeks and the first month definitely wasn’t easy. I thought the babies instinctively knew how to feed and would be a breeze to bf but it really wasn’t. I was initially told to feed 15 from each breast (active sucking, not falling asleep on the breast) and then supplement with a bottle. The first week or so I supplemented with a formula but my supply picked up enough that I was able to supplement with a pumped milk. So it was 15 each, and then pass him onto my husband to feed with a bottle, in the mean time pump the rest. It was really time consuming though. But I only had to do that for maybe 3? weeks before I had enough supply. 

By the way, how are you estimating that she is getting fed 2-3oz in 30 min?
As for the bottle, I used a Japanese brand called Pigeon that is also popular in Australia. Their nipples are really slow flow. The downside is the bottle is not compatible with the Spectra pump I was using, but I figured out that the nipple is compatible with Avent bottles (which are compatible with Spectra) so that’s what I used in the end.
One last thing... each baby nurses differently. My nephew was a slow feeder and he would spend 45 min feeding. My son on the other hand, once he ‘got’ breastfeeding, he was done in 5 min. 

Tulips29

@persnickity how did you tell comfort sucking apart? The only way I guess I could tell is when I don't hear swallowing and it's just mouth movement sucking on the breast. Did you have any other ways? I also detach from time to time but then she's looking again and get antsy. 

@cashewchicken we have a changing pad that's also a scale from Hatch Baby. So I would initially do a lot of weighted feeds to see how much milk she was getting from me and the scale would show 0.5 oz after like 15-20 mins on each breast. Eventually, the scale would show 2-3 oz max from both breasts after 30+ minutes. Last few days I stopped being so strict on 15 mins per side and I just let her nurse until she pops off herself. Most of the time it's longer than 15 mins. I wish she'd be done in 5! 

persnickity

@Tulips29 for lack of a better description, she would play with my nipple. Like move it around side to side, suck for a bit, then maybe do some really soft shallow sucking. I also went back and looked at the data app I used. My daughter would average 10 minutes nursing sessions. I only nursed one side at a time, and frequently had 15+ minutes sessions in there too.

Tulips29

Thank you ladies for all your advice and suggestions! We've now entered a new phase and I'm about to lose my marbles. We have a pretty good routine during the day where I'll wake her up every 3 hours to feed, try to keep her active and awake for a bit after the feeding (still a hit or miss) and then she goes down for a nap before her next feeding. In the evenings, all hell breaks loose. She...will...not...stop...eating! I know there's cluster feeding, but I feel like this is getting extreme. Our 6 pm feed turns into 2/3/4 hours of her on me not letting go. She will eat, then use me as a pacifier, then scream her head off when I take her off me and try to put her to sleep. She then won't sleep...rocking her works for a little bit and then she screams again as soon as we put her into bed. Giving a bottle doesn't work as she'll drink the whole thing and then scream some more until I give in and give her a boob. Most days this will go on for about 2 hours. Yesterday it went on for 4....4 damn hours! I fed her at 6 pm, put her down and 45 mins later she was up again screaming. From there she was on me until 10 pm. We've tried bath, singing, music, shooshing, rocking, pacifier. It works for a few minutes but then as soon as she hits the bed, she screams. I end up giving her the boob until she completely passes out. I don't recall going through this with my son, unless I completely blocked this memory out...but even DH says it was different with him. Anyone else go through this? Please tell me this will end soon...

wildrainbow

@Tulips29 I went through it with both boys, ds1 being worse than ds2. It will get better, but it may take a while. I do know that reflux played a big role in it, as it feels better to baby to suck. It keeps the reflux down. Will she take a pacifier? Ds1 never did, but ds2 took one until about 8 weeks. We also did a hot pad on his bed to heat it up so he didnt go from warm and toasty with me to the cold of his bed. It also helped keep him relaxed. Try to get her on a slight incline and maybe try the heating pad? Remember you're dealing with the witching hour combined with less milk in the evenings, its frustrating all around. I know. I think with ds1, he finally chilled with the craziness (unless it was a leap) around 8-10 weeks. It's a sucky season, but it is a season. Remember, she's only 2 or so weeks adjusted, so even tho she's been out a while, developmental wise, she's still super new. Does that make sense? It always sucked to remember that, but it also helped me realize that it was just a season. This one just lasts a little longer than full term babies. Hugs, hun. I know it sucks to be tied to baby all the time. I promise it gets better even tho you are in the trenches now. Soon enough she will be crawling and you will miss this time. I know, I laughed too, but it's true. 

persnickity

@Tulips29 I've had both kids do cluster feeding right at bedtime, nursing 3 times in an hour or so. But they tended to go down easily afterwards. Someone else suggested the zen swaddler or some other type of slightly weighted one. Warming the bed has also come up

PoeMasque

@Tulips29 sounds totally normal (probably not what you want to hear!) and you wouldn’t be doing anything wrong or “damaging” by letting her be at boob as long as she wants at this age. DS1 was the same way. The best way for me to get sleep during those day was to pump, then have DH give a bottle while I slept for 5-6 hours, then I would take over and he would sleep. Without the boobs there tempting DS1 he was fine and slept like a dream for DH (not fair I know!) 

so I go here now! On 1/22 we went in for a scheduled c-section due to my placenta previa. I was 37+4. Everything went well for me, but baby Emmett’s lungs just weren’t quite mature. The next day he had to be transferred to a different hospital with a NICU where he got surfactant and instantly did better. I still can’t believe that they will transfer a baby like that and leave mom behind, it was super traumatizing for me and I’m a former ER and mother/baby nurse - so I feel pretty resilient in these situations. I was literally just left alone in my hospital room for 24 hours since DH went with baby. I was discharged the next day and have been spending the day in the NICU with Emmett and going home at night to our toddler. Emmett is completely fine now, but struggling with feeds, so we will be here through the weekend working on that. On Monday our toddler woke up with a cold, which we now know is RSV, so baby can’t go home until DS1 is better anyway. Not the experience we planned on, but we are lucky to have family helping out and friends who have brought by food. The NICU staff are soooo amazing and accommodating, but we can’t wait to be home. 

cashewchicken

@PoeMasque Congrats on your new bundle of joy! I’m sorry Emmett is in NICU, but he’s in good hands and I’m sure he will be discharged in no time! Please take this time to try to get some rest, to recover from your c-section. My son spent a few days in NICU and had difficulty with feeds. One of the doctors was pretty much calling it failure to thrive. He did take a bit to get used to the feed but once he got it, he became a good eater and he still is. He was given formula (and occasional breast milk) the first four days but oddly, he did not like room temperature milk. One of the nurses decided to warm the milk (bless her) and he chugged it down like a pro. 

Hopeful_mom

@Tulips29 I know it sounds silly about the bottles but I can tell the difference with the nipples as one even leaks now so there is some method to the madness with that.
id like to say it’s just a phase as my girl is laying on my lap while I have to tinkle and I just detached her.  I can only imagine how tough this can be with more then one.  I still try new things but then there are the times u just want them to sleep.  My boobs were sore all the time and that made things even more difficult.  I realized it hurt more once she was started to fall asleep as her latch would change...I would still have to get her to let go but then she wouldn’t fight for it back.  It’s not easy and wish u the best of luck! I still look for new tips constantly! Now she’s older and technically shouldn’t be hungry in the middle of the night but she still wakes and need my boobs to go back to sleep.

@PoeMasque awwww number 2 is here yay!!! Congrats! Sorry u r off to a bumpy start, hoping the rsv goes fast, that’s so scary and your altogether soon! 

PoeMasque

Quick update - they discharged us on Monday night and feeds at home are going well - although we have to use a nipple shield. I forgot how tired and horrible you feel when you are only sleeping 4-5 hours at most. our toddler is better, which is great because all he wants to do is touch “baby brother”’s face and kiss him. 

wildrainbow

@PoeMasque I had to use a nipple shield when we first brought ds2 home from NICU. I think it was about 2 or 3 weeks before he transitioned fully to the bare nipple. Are you having to triple feed?

PoeMasque

@wildrainbow I have a good friend who is an IBCLC, so she’s going to come over to work with him on feeds. He still chokes a little with bottles that have a preemie nipple and he seems to struggle maintaining a latch without the shield, so she’s going to make sure he doesn’t have a tongue tie. Thankfully, he’s been gaining weight well, which is really all I’m worried about at this point. 

For mamas with toddlers and new babes - how did you keep your newborns safe from toddler?? Our son just wants to be in baby’s face (kissing or stroking his hair), but ends up smooshing him in the process. I don’t want to discourage him from being lovey, but I also want to keep our baby safe. I try to keep baby out of reach as much as possible, but he will often pounce on baby while I’m sitting down holding or nursing him. 

wildrainbow

@PoeMasque We got ds1 a baby doll. Sounds weird, but it really helped him to learn to be gentle. I would tell him to love the baby and he would give loves to the baby doll, then he could give love to the baby. We always reminded him to do gentle touches and he had to "practice" with the baby doll before he could touch his brother. 

[Deleted User]

That is reassuring to hear @wildrainbow DD got a doll for Christmas, but mostly she's not too interested! Lol Hoping that changes the closer we get and the more we keep talking about it...

ETA We may or may not also be watching Unexpected on TLC lol (But how else do you really get to watch shows featuring mommies having babies????)  So just swapped out one of her toys in the big playpen for her Dollie, and she's actually sitting here holding the baby and giving her a bottle! :D So cute!  So maybe it's starting to click a little more already?

persnickity

@PoeMasque @BusinessWife DD is 2.5 yrs and DS is 3 weeks. She wants to constantly hug and kiss her baby brother, so we talk to her about being gentle and redirect where she can kiss him (head instead of lips). It also helps that we find ways for her to interact with him, like getting a toy for him for tummy time, picking a book for all of us to read, or even picking out his clothes. Being so involved helps her be more considerate of him as a person vs a toy/play thing.  She still forgets and jumps around near him a lot, but hasn't hurt him yet.

DD wasn't much into dolls, but the other girls at daycare play with them, so she started to practice there. Now, she uses her stuffed animals and burps them or nurses them.