I didn’t have a doula with DS and I wish I had. No matter how educated and empowered DH and I felt going into the birth, that all went out the window when I actually gave birth. I think it would be helpful to have a professional who can remain emotionally detached and help me through.
@wildrainbow we have a photographer we use twice a year for family photos and I'm thinking about having her come to the hospital to take photos of the first time the boys meet the baby for the first time. Sort of like a first look but for families.
I met one of the midwives at the doctor's office for the first time today and I really liked her. She was so much more personable and her focus was on the comfort of the mom as well as the safety of the baby. I may request to see her more the closer I get to term. They did not have midwives when I have birth to my 3 year old.
@jwhite3116 that’s a great idea having someone take photos of the siblings meeting. I’m going to ask our friend if she will do that for us. We don’t allow anyone at the hospital while we are there, so this would be great.
Married: August 2012
TTC #1: July 2015
BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
@samsonator ours took installments so you didn't have to pay it all in a lump. But then we booked so late it didn't help us much anyway. 🤦 I think we still worked out to pay her in two or three payments though.
@gomillis Exactly! I thought I was ready, too, and WHOA. I think I handled the contractions pretty well with DD, because it was expected/familiar from my previous experience. This was true right up until it was time to push. I never got to push with DS (c-section), so I was in unfamiliar territory again as soon as I started to transition. I lost my shit. I could've really used someone calm, cool, and collected to support me, rather than working through it all alone while DH wrangled our son. I think I would really appreciate another woman in the room who is there solely to help me get to the other side. Lol.
@lachnessmomster I had the same experience! Labor wasn’t too horrible, but it went fast and suddenly it was time to push. Then pushing was a whole different ballgame.
@BusinessWife DUDE. My 19 month old won’t. Stop. With. The. Raspberries. It was cute the first 1000 times. Now it’s annoying and gross. He’s constantly spitting on me and I’m not here for it. 😅
My OB practice has a midwife track, and that’s the route I’m planning on taking. I plan on having an epidural like last time, and I think having the support of a midwife will really help. I learned from my last labor experience that L&D nurses can really shape your birthing experience, good or bad. I do plan on hiring a postpartum doula to help with some nursing issues and to help with the adjustment period afterwards.
I've never had a doula and have never considered it. The main thing they do is help you with positions, support, feeling comfortable, etc. primarily for low intervention births. So rubbing your back or encouraging breathing and helping you deal with labor with minimal interventions. So I'd say it's pretty pointless to have one if you're going in planning to have an epidural right away or a planned c-section.
I have given birth both times and planning this one at a freestanding birth center. I can't get pain meds even if I beg for them unless I transfer to a hospital. Going in, I know I'm having a low-intervention, pain-med-free birth unless something goes wrong. They are not set up for and legally cannot do labor augmentation/inductions, c-sections, epidurals, etc.
My midwives act the same way doulas would in many ways. They encourage various positions. They suggest different things that will help things move along faster (like laboring vertically so gravity is helping move the baby down.)
I know lots of women still do have doulas with OOH births, but I never felt it was necessary. I don't really feel like having extra people in the room either. At my births, it's been 2-4 midwives (never more than two plus an apprentice at once) and my husband.
@coldlife Your birth center sounds a lot like the one where I intended to have DS. Unfortunately, I was transferred to the hospital due to my baby‘s heart rate dropping with each contraction, so upon my arrival, I was immediately whisked away in an ambulance. I originally had a similar plan, though. They didn’t offer an epidural on site, so I went into it 100% intending to do it med free. My midwife was about to prepare me some herbs before we realized we were in an emergency situation. They offered nitrous, as well. I still mourn not being able to give birth there!
For this birth, though, I did end up reaching out to the doula I got in touch with and explained that we just don’t have the budget for her services. It was going to cost us $1250 for the labor support package, and while I’m sure it would’ve been worth it, it just doesn’t make sense for our family. I’ll be working with midwives in a VBAC-friendly hospital environment, so I’m confident that I’ll have all the support I need and more. Trying to stay positive!
Re: Weekly Randoms of 12/29
I met one of the midwives at the doctor's office for the first time today and I really liked her. She was so much more personable and her focus was on the comfort of the mom as well as the safety of the baby. I may request to see her more the closer I get to term. They did not have midwives when I have birth to my 3 year old.
DD born June 2016
Second due August 2020 (team green!)
Maybe it's a sign of an impending language explosion???? I have no idea.
I have given birth both times and planning this one at a freestanding birth center. I can't get pain meds even if I beg for them unless I transfer to a hospital. Going in, I know I'm having a low-intervention, pain-med-free birth unless something goes wrong. They are not set up for and legally cannot do labor augmentation/inductions, c-sections, epidurals, etc.
My midwives act the same way doulas would in many ways. They encourage various positions. They suggest different things that will help things move along faster (like laboring vertically so gravity is helping move the baby down.)
I know lots of women still do have doulas with OOH births, but I never felt it was necessary. I don't really feel like having extra people in the room either. At my births, it's been 2-4 midwives (never more than two plus an apprentice at once) and my husband.
@coldlife Your birth center sounds a lot like the one where I intended to have DS. Unfortunately, I was transferred to the hospital due to my baby‘s heart rate dropping with each contraction, so upon my arrival, I was immediately whisked away in an ambulance. I originally had a similar plan, though. They didn’t offer an epidural on site, so I went into it 100% intending to do it med free. My midwife was about to prepare me some herbs before we realized we were in an emergency situation. They offered nitrous, as well. I still mourn not being able to give birth there!
For this birth, though, I did end up reaching out to the doula I got in touch with and explained that we just don’t have the budget for her services. It was going to cost us $1250 for the labor support package, and while I’m sure it would’ve been worth it, it just doesn’t make sense for our family. I’ll be working with midwives in a VBAC-friendly hospital environment, so I’m confident that I’ll have all the support I need and more. Trying to stay positive!
(Lightly edited.)