December STM+ Check-In — The Bump
July 2020 Moms

December STM+ Check-In

EDD/Weeks + Days: 

How old is/are your other kid(s)? 

How is/are your kid(s) doing?

Any questions/concerns?

GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month?
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Re: December STM+ Check-In

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  • @kc0711 that clingy stage sounds rough! Are you planning to wean DD or let her wean when she's ready? One of the girls on DD's BMB is a LLL leader and nursed both her older son and her son from our BMB. She's a trooper!

    EDD/Weeks + Days: 7/5  9w1d

    How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 3yo

    How is/are your kid(s) doing? good.... she knows nothing about this pregnancy but we do keep having to tell her mommy doesn't feel good and she's been pretty good about giving me a break on things like making me sit up so she can "do my hair." I do not get a break from bedtime stories, songs, and all though.... That should be interesting when this baby comes around.... she's gonna have to figure it out though.

    Any questions/concerns? none right now! 

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month? I just looked at the calendar and I can't believe how clear it is right now! This NEVER happens. We have Polar Express at the transportation museum this Saturday and then her friend's bday party on Sunday and THAT'S. IT! I know the calendar will fill up. It always does. But it's kinda nice not to feel bogged down with stuff to do right now.
    Oh, and I think we might skip Santa this year. She's just going to cry anyway.

    stlbuckeye132JessDGkc0711magnolia305
  • EDD/Weeks + Days: 7+2

    How old is/are your other kid(s)? 5 and 3

    How is/are your kid(s) doing? Fine. We aren't telling them yet, because then EVERYONE will know. Lol

    Any questions/concerns? No

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month? Nothing besides the usual Christmas festivities. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    blaf322stlbuckeye132JessDGkc0711
  • EDD/Weeks + Days: July 11; 8w2d

    How old is/are your other kid(s)? DD is 20 months

    How is/are your kid(s) doing? She's awesome. She's at such a fun age, and I'm loving it. We've not really said anything about another baby (not like she'd really understand yet), but several times yesterday she came up to me and patted my belly. Maybe she understands more than I give her credit for! :lol:

    Any questions/concerns? Trying to figure out daycare is top of my list. I was under the impression that DD's cost for care would drop significantly as she gets older, but... that's not really happening? Am I just under the wrong assumption, or did rates change substantially for your kids as they got older? I don't want to get into all the details, but right now we're only paying $50/month less than her newborn rate, and when she turns two, it's only about $100/month less than the newborn rate we paid. The student:teacher ratio for kids under two is 4:1 and when they turn two it goes to 8:1. To me, that should be more than a $100/month difference, but maybe not? Other input appreciated! I emailed another center asking their rates for comparison, but I haven't heard back yet. I know we'll figure this all out, but I want to figure it out sooner rather than later.

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month? I'm excited to take her to a beautiful lights display at the botanical gardens. She loved it last year, and I think she'll be even more excited about it this year!
    kc0711
  • @stlbuckeye132 I just looked back at our statements on our daycare app b/c, honestly, I thought the same thing with DD's daycare... like, I thought we were going to save SO much money once she didn't need help with EVERYTHING. NOPE! Ours are just about in line with yours.... except we were down $100/month until she moved into an older (preschool) class and now we're only down $60 from the infant rate :neutral: I guess b/c they teach them more? I have no effing clue. All I know is that daycare is going to be another mortgage payment for us once this baby comes.

    I just text DH though b/c, in looking at the rates, they're charging us the rate from 2 classes ago. I'm not sure if we should keep our mouth shut b/c we're getting a better rate or say something and have them credit us lol.... TBD I guess. 

  • @mrsdrez our ultrasound techs always print out copies of the US for us to take with us the same day. Can you just ask the US tech to do that for you so you can announce? Or is the issue more that you don't want to say anything until you KNOW the EDD?

  • mrsdrezmrsdrez
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2
    @blaf322 Techs here are not allowed to share any information until after 12 weeks. So no matter what's going on you have to wait until you see your practitioner. Partners aren't even allowed in the room until after 12 weeks. It's made for some nerve-wrecking waits in my experience. 

    ETA not concerned about EDD because those have changed on me in the past lol 
  • @blaf322 thank you for your input! Sounds like I was just naively hopeful the cost would get easier to swallow. But I know at ours they also raise the rates each year, so I guess that offsets any savings we might have had too. Ugh. We're already paying more than our mortgage for just one. The thought of paying for two makes my stomach hurt. We can do it, but we'll need to adjust our spending for sure (not like we're living extravagantly now though) and maybe pull back from how much we're putting into retirement savings for a few years until DD is in kindergarten.
    blaf322
  • @stlbuckeye132 our rates drop by 2$ an hour once she moves out of "infant", which is 12 to 18 months, into "junior toddler". Our daycare centre charges by the hour. I'm planning on taking an 18 month mat leave for this baby because it just wouldn't be worth it for me to go back to work with two little ones in daycare. 
    stlbuckeye132magnolia305
  • @mrsdrez   I can't imagine not being able to have DH or someone with me for the first ultrasound!  That's horrible.  Can you at least see the screen while they are doing the ultrasound so you can see the heartbeat?  

    @stlbuckeye132   We use an in-home babysitter, but she uses similar pricing to daycare settings.  Hers are similar to what you described.  I am praying real hard the oldest kid there is going to Kindergarten next year so their is a spot for our new baby.  

    EDD/Weeks + Days:   5 weeks + 5 days

    How old is/are your other kid(s)?  DS is a little over 2

    How is/are your kid(s) doing?  He is doing great!  Life is SO MUCH EASIER now that he talks in complete sentences.  He is able to tell me what hurts etc.  He is starting to be aware of feelings etc. and it is super cute.  

    Any questions/concerns?  None at the moment

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month?  Usual Christmas-y stuff.  We need to go see Santa and I hope he is old enough to join in with some of the other things like cookie decorating etc.  He LOVES our christmas tree this year.  


    blaf322kc0711stlbuckeye132
  • @JessDG Negative. They turn the screen. You get to see nothing. **TW when I had my loss I had no idea what was going on. I was bleeding a lot throughout the ultrasound and they couldn't tell me anything. The lady felt bad I could tell, but she told me I would have to wait to hear back from my doctor in a few days. That was a traumatic weekend. End TW** 
    JessDG
  • @kc0711 My two daughters had due dates two days apart, and my second cake two days after my oldest’s 2nd birthday (both induced one week overdue). I was also super stressed out about them sharing a birthday, but then realized that all twins share a birthday, and they usually do okay. This past summer they had a joint birthday party and loved celebrating together, it was so fun! A little stressful to be the one planning it all, but otherwise great. And I think they’d love it even if it was the same day. When they’re older, who knows?

    Just looking back, I’m kind of bummed I stressed out about it so much. I think because I knew I’d probably be induced, so if somehow they shared a birthday it’d be my fault. Obviously I thought about this a lot. 😂

    kc0711stlbuckeye132
  • kristinl492kristinl492
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2
    @mrsdrez would you be able to pick up a copy of your ultrasound report from the imaging facility you get it done at?. 
  • @mrsdrez&nbsp; I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  :(  I hope your results are excellent this time.  <3
  • @mrsdrez STFU... that blows my entire mind. We find out same day and even if we don't necessarily hear "results" right away, we can at least see for ourselves and get a print out of the pic to take home. Is this something that's practice specific? Or an all of Canada thing (you said you're in Canada, right?)

    @JessDG except for when they decide to have lots of opinions and such (which is super frustrating at 7:30AM when it's freezing out and they want to wear sandals), it's it SOOOO much better when they can speak?! Game. changer. Sign language helped us for basic needs but actually being able to communicate was a big deal.

    Side note... people complain about their kid (I'm talking, 3yo kid, not teen) talking too much and I just can't, for the life of me, understand it. I LOVE hearing her tell me all about anything she has going on in her mind!

    magnolia305
  • How old is/are your other kid(s)?: I've got a 6, an almost 4 and an almost 2 (all boys)

    How is/are your kid(s) doing?: They're all doing pretty good, finally healthy, knock wood.  Youngest one has been having a MASSIVE sleep regression for going on 2 weeks now, but last night was better so I'm hopeful we're on our way out.

    Any questions/concerns? My biggest concern is that I feel so terribly. 24/7 nausea; this is by far my worst first trimester and I feel like I'm just holding on by a thread and letting paw patrol take the wheel

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month? we're hosting our annual gingerbread house party on friday, going to see Santa on Saturday night, and next saturday doing a tacky light bus tour: lots of fun holiday stuff planned!

    @blaf322&nbsp;@crystalmir91385 We're also not telling the kids until we're ready for the world (or at least my inlaws) to know

    @mrsdrez that is wild that partners can't go in/you can't see the screen!
    DS1: Nov. 2013
    DS2: Jan. 2016
    DS3: Dec. 2017
    Baby #4 on the way!
    crystalmir91385stlbuckeye132
  • @KatieEl same... all we did all weekend was watch Disney+ b/c it's all I could handle. I feel like this is easier said than done but I seem to feel better if I get a little protein..... of course, the thought of meat makes me want to hurl. But if I can get some in, it really seems to help... at least a little anyway.

  • EDD/Weeks + Days:  7/26. 6w1d (not set in stone yet)

    How old is/are your other kid(s)?: 20 months

    How is/are your kid(s) doing?: great, but also he has no idea about the baby😂

    Any questions/concerns?: not pregnancy related, but my husband and I are going away for a wedding for 2 nights this week and I’m losing my damn mind about being away from my son. Anxiety is so fun!

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month? 
    Just general Christmas festivities! Picking out our tree, Christmas movies, seeing the lights, etc. Also hoping to get a trip to the aquarium in soon. He loves to see “ish”
    kc0711stlbuckeye132
  • @kristinl492 go! Enjoy the time away! I love our daughter but we also really value our time to be adults (whether for an evening or a week away). It definitely helps keep us sane and makes us better parents.

    stlbuckeye132
  • @blaf322 my 3 year old is non verbal (autism) and I get SO JEALOUS when people talk about their talkative toddlers who ask tons of questions. I sooo want to know what is going on inside his mind. 

    Re the daycare/childcare subject, we decided to get an au pair. I hate the idea of someone living in our house, but daycare for two plus after school care for our oldest would cost us....at least 4K. So yeah. This will be affordable and hopefully the kids will learn a new language! 

    @kc0711  I have a 16 month old and he is exactly like you’re describing - sooo clingy! (But also super snuggly)

    EDD/Weeks + Days: 5+6 to be confirmed still 

    How old is/are your other kid(s)? 3 years, 16 months, both boys 

    How is/are your kid(s) doing? My younger is in a super clingy phase, but also just got tubes placed in his ears and for the first time since last spring he’s not constantly sick and he’s finally starting to try to talk. My older son is on the spectrum and non verbal. So neither of them has any clue they’re getting a new sibling. Every day is a new challenge with my older son but overall they are happy healthy kids so that’s all that matters. 

    Any questions/concerns? Not right now 

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month? Nothing yet. I’m not sure if we’ll attempt Santa. I am 99.9% sure they will both cry. Other than that, just hoping to enjoy Christmas and taking most of that week off to spend time with them. 
    kc0711blaf322stlbuckeye132
  • blaf322 said:
    @kristinl492 go! Enjoy the time away! I love our daughter but we also really value our time to be adults (whether for an evening or a week away). It definitely helps keep us sane and makes us better parents.
    I have to keep reminding myself that everything will be FINE. I’ve done nights away from him before, but only one at a time and always in the same state. Being a plane ride away from him is messing with my head! I’m fairly certain the pregnancy hormones are not helping...
    blaf322
  • @KatieEl those sleep regressions are SO hard. And they always seem to hit right as you think you’ve sorta got this parenting thing figured out!
    KatieEl
  • EDD/Weeks + Days: 
    5w+3d

    How old is/are your other kid(s)? 
    2 (screaming for mommmmmmy and random toys in his crib as we speak)

    How is/are your kid(s) doing?
    Fighting bed time and dinner like it's his job, so the usual. 

    Any questions/concerns?
    I fainted at a concert so that was fun. I think it was from too much standing but it's still pretty early for fainting spells so now I'm anxious for my first appointment. 

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month?
    My FIL and his wife are coming over for dinner next week and the following week family friends of my husband are coming over for dinner, I'm also hosting Christmas breakfast. Totally fun to do while preggo and chasing a 2yo. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    blaf322stlbuckeye132
  • @stlbuckeye132 I run an inhome and my rates are the same for all, but I know that is pretty unusual. Most go down after they turn 2 OR are potty trained

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    stlbuckeye132

  • EDD/Weeks + Days: 
    6 weeks today!

    How old is/are your other kid(s)? 
    8, 6, and 18 months. So utter chaos, all the time. 

    How is/are your kid(s) doing?
    They're all doing really well at the moment! We have one quiet week before basketball season starts for the older ones- I  coach both their teams, which is fun and exhausting so I'm enjoying the peace while we can. And the little is well known for wacking those who get in her way (probably because of her older brothers!) But her teacher said she's also really sweet when a friend is crying so that's a plus! 

    Any questions/concerns?
    I had spotting over the weekend, and of course trying not to panic until my ultrasound. I had subchroinic hemotomas with #3 as well- anybody by chance know if SCH's are more likely to reoccur once you've had them? 

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month?
    All the Christmas things! They all believe in santa still so I'm trying to savor the magic one more year!



    blaf322stlbuckeye132
  • JessDGJessDG
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 3
    @maythe4thbewithyou1234
    I had an SCH with my son.  I asked my doctor about it at my appointment last week, and he said that I'm not necessarily likely to have another one because I had one last time.  I'm still on edge about it though. 

  • @blaf322 I plan to let her self wean whenever she is ready to do so. I’ve started to think about tandem nursing, and I’ve just decided to go with the flow and see what happens!
    @Pascal86 that is good to know! DD and my birthday are two days apart, so now adding in this baby too all around the same time just seems crazy. My poor husband, that’s a lot of birthdays all together!
    blaf322
  • EDD/Weeks + Days:  July 18, 7 weeks 2 days

    How old is/are your other kid(s)? I have a 9 year old son, 6 year old daughter, and a 4 year old daughter

    How is/are your kid(s) doing?  They are doing fine, excited for the holidays.  Their Elf arrived on Friday so thats been an exciting thing to wake up to every day for them.  It snowed a little today as well so they were pretty happy about that. 

    Any questions/concerns?  Not right now.  Everything is normal overall.

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month?  We are going to do pancakes with Santa later in the month as well as visiting him in various locations for photos.  Next weekend we hopefully will go to the tree farm to get out tree and they all love decorating it.  Im taking my older daughter to see The Nutcracker play locally later in the month and Im pretty excited about that.  Im going to plan some baking too and we host Christmas Eve dinner so got to start cleaning and planning the menu.  Overall I try to keep this month full of wonder and fun.  
    blaf322stlbuckeye132
  • @kc0711 wow that is a lot! My husband, kids, and I all have birthdays within 3 weeks and I’ve considered just doing one celebration for everyone and then calling it quits! The early loss I had a couple months ago would have been due right in that window as well, so as hard as that was, the silver lining is that I’ll at least have a month or two of breathing room before this one’s birthday!

    kc0711
  • @kc0711 One of my friends has 3 siblings and they all have the same birthday (none are twins). She is the odd one out. My doula for my first baby also had 4 kids and her older two had the same birthday. My older 2 are two weeks apart in the same month. 
  • @blaf322 I'm not sure if it's everywhere. I had all my u/s done at the hospital (because of the bleeding and then miscarriage before my last pregnancy). This time I'm at just a lab so maybe that'll be different. But at the hospital there's a sign right in the lobby that says no one besides the patient is allowed in for gestational u/s before 12 weeks. I imagine something really bad must have happened to have that rule instated. It was totally different after the 12 weeks, they gave us a play by play and a disc with the pictures every time, and my husband got to come in (he bawled like a baby every time lol). 
    blaf322
  • mrsdrez said:
    @blaf322 I'm not sure if it's everywhere. I had all my u/s done at the hospital (because of the bleeding and then miscarriage before my last pregnancy). This time I'm at just a lab so maybe that'll be different. But at the hospital there's a sign right in the lobby that says no one besides the patient is allowed in for gestational u/s before 12 weeks. I imagine something really bad must have happened to have that rule instated. It was totally different after the 12 weeks, they gave us a play by play and a disc with the pictures every time, and my husband got to come in (he bawled like a baby every time lol). 
    I’m an US tech at a hospital and we do not allow anyone in the room for ultrasounds from the ER. We had several security issues. Outpatients can bring 1-2 people in at the tech’s discretion. Every place has such different policies but it’s usually because something happened to cause that rule. 
  • @zande2016 That's so tough. 3yo have so many big emotions and opinions they want to express... and I know it has to be extra hard on your mama heart too. 


    zande2016
  • @blaf322 it is hard to see him getting frustrated because he can't communicate. we do some sign language and pictures to help him. right now the only word he uses consistently is "no." of course lol 
  • @zande2016 of course he has no down pat :D  It's like part of their toddler DNA lol

    I know every case is VERY different but, FWIW, one of the girls on DD's BMB was non-verbal but with ABA and lots of work/other therapies, she speaks SO well now! Every time her mama posts about things she's said I think back to not too long ago when she wasn't really speaking and my mind is blown. I hope you have a similar breakthrough soon!

    zande2016
  • EDD/Weeks + Days:  July 24th

    How old is/are your other kid(s)?  DS1 is 4 and Ds2 is 22 months (I hate that...he's almost two)

    How is/are your kid(s) doing?  My kids are good--we haven't told them anything.  My 4 year old goes to school where I teach--so I won't tell him until I tell my coworkers. 

    Any questions/concerns?  Just anxiously awaiting my ultrasound.  I am anxious about where we will send my kids next year--especially since I will be on maternity leave the first couple months of school.  I work in a town about 30 minutes from home--so I would have to drive them every day...

    GTKY: Do you have anything special or fun planned for your kid(s) that you are excited about this month?  I am going to KC this weekend with my cousin (bestie), and my mom and her partner.  We are seeing the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.  It is my first time and I am pumped!   Then at the end of the month we are flying to Arizona for a week of vacay! 
    stlbuckeye132
  • @blaf322 all of his teachers and therapists believe he will be verbal, but i am waiting for that breakthrough. i think he has apraxia - he wants to talk but can't get it from his brain to his mouth. he ends up making this scrunched up face like he's trying to hard but can't get it out and it breaks my heart. 
    blaf322
  • awww... that hurts my heart to hear. Poor buddy. It must be so frustrating to be in his brain. But he'll get there with his communication! If that means sign, or pointing to pics, so be it! Sounds like he's got a good support system behind him too :smile:


    zande2016
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