November Unplanned Babies Thread — The Bump
June 2020 Moms

November Unplanned Babies Thread

edited November 5 in June 2020 Moms
While we all know that unplanned doesn't mean less loved, I think we can all acknowledge that it can cause some extra fear, concern, anxiety, etc. I thought a place to discuss that might be good!

Feel free to answer these, add your own, or just free form any thoughts/questions!

How many kids at home now, and ages?

Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work?

What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)?

What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure?

Any other questions, comments, concerns?

*eta fix typo
Me: 31
DH: 30
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Pregnancy Ticker

Re: November Unplanned Babies Thread

  • How many kids at home now, and ages?
    Son is almost 3.5, daughter is 14 months

    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work?
    We pulled out and I track ovulation, and only have sex once a month usually. Pull out successful, and had zero ovulation signs at all for the month, which is unusual at best.

    What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)?
    Shock and unhappiness. Fear. So much fear. My transition from 1 to 2 was really hard, and that age gap was larger than this one will be. It's evolved a little to acceptance and some positive feelings, but as I haven't had an initial appointment or ultrasound yet, I think I'm still pretty guarded. Like, maybe a bit of denial? Idk yet. I'm outwardly preparing and making plans.

    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure?
    Finances. We're barely keeping above water now, and I was hoping to go back to limited part time work right now, but my pelvis doesn't agree with waitressing, Bartending, or anything on my feet, which is all that's easily available to me part time. SPD really wrecks me until a good 6 months after delivery. And chasing two toddlers threw pregnancy scares me.

    Any other questions, comments, concerns?
    My two are so high maintenance and loud and pushy and demanding. Worried about mental health of more of them!!!
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    JessiBridebaybeesunflowerlynkat
  • JessiBrideJessiBride
    Long-Lasting Membership 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited November 5

    How many kids at home now, and ages? Two.  A boy turning 12 next month and a girl turning 8 this month.

    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work? We use FAM and condoms while fertile.  I normally noticeably ovulate and we discontinue condoms a couple days later.  I did not noticeably ovulate in October so I don't know if it was early or late or what happened, but we used condoms when I normally as in "the fourteen freaking years we've been using this method of BC" ovulate.

    What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)?  I cried for 4 days, but now I'm happy and excited.  Our kids are amazing and the thought of another is awesome.

    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure? I am the breadwinner and DH is a SAHD homeschooling our kids. I was able to SAH with the older two and the thought of not SAH with this one breaks my heart.  DH wants to switch out our roles, but I make more, so there's a dilemma between comfort for the family and what my heart wants.  This was also a huge cause for the 4 days of tears.

    Any other questions, comments, concerns? I'm turning 39 next month, so this is my first AMA PG.  That does cause a bit of fear, but I'm doing my best to harness my natural tendency to worry and stress because that's not good for the baby.  I'm eating healthy, resting and trying to remain as calm as I can.

    pourmeanothermocktailbaybeesunflowerlynkat
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  • mommallama17mommallama17
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    edited November 5
    How many kids at home now, and ages?
    I have a daughter that just turned two and I have an angel baby that I miscarried very early with.

    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work?
    My DH and I were planning to start trying for another baby next spring. But SURPRISE, we are already pregnant. 
    We are normally very careful when it comes to protection. But we had a mess up after a night of drinking. 

    What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)? 
    I was very excited and absolutely terrified. I have many chronic illnesses. Therefore, I cant be on the majority of my medicines before even trying to conceive, so when we found out I was pregnant, it was terrifying. Luckily I worked with my doctor's and we quickly weaned me off and changed my prescriptions around. Also, our house is very tiny. We were planning to do an addition next summer, but now we're moving that up to next month. 

    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure?
    My health. I have to stay on top of everything all the time. It's very stressful and trying. With DD I was already in near perfect condition compared to now. 😬

    Any other questions, comments, concerns?
    Not right now! Just waiting for my first ultrasound next week! I'm also excited there is a board for unplanned babies. Makes me feel like I'm not alone ❤️
    pourmeanothermocktailJessiBridebaybeesunflower
  • @mommallama17 right when I joined this BMB it seemed like everyone was a very excited FTM who had been trying to get pregnant, and I really wanted to connect with other moms who might have reservations like me! I'm glad it feels good to you too!
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    JessiBridebaybeesunflower
  • @mommallama17 right when I joined this BMB it seemed like everyone was a very excited FTM who had been trying to get pregnant, and I really wanted to connect with other moms who might have reservations like me! I'm glad it feels good to you too!
    Wonderful idea...thank you!  This and the AMA post are incredibly helpful to me.
  • Thank you for starting this thread! It is comforting to know I am not alone. 
    How many kids at home now, and ages? 
    2 boys, 4 years and 15 months 

    Want to talk about how your family planning worked or didn’t work? 
    We were using FAM and pull out, but I was somehow off in my calculations with ovulation I guess. My ovulation symptoms were not as strong this past month. 

    Initial Reaction: 
    I was surprised and very nervous. Still nervous. 

    Biggest Obstacles: 
    My four year-old is very high maintenance (he has some behavior issues and speech delays) and I am worried about dividing our attention between 3 kids. 

    No questions right now. 
    pourmeanothermocktailJessiBridebaybeesunflowerlynkat
  • How many kids at home now, and ages? 2, ages 3 and 5

    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work? We used the pull out method basically as soon as we got married 7+ years ago. I was done being on BC. The hormones really messed with me. Considering we only ever got pregnant when we intentionally tried (and even then it took some time) an unplanned pregnancy was not on my radar, despite knowing this is not a fool proof method.

    What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)?
    So the night I likely got KU, DH made a comment along the lines of "oops, some may have got in" and to my delight I knew I was likely ovulating. You see...I've always wanted a third and he was never 100% ready. Plus, after the stress of TTC, best case scenario for me was a surprise pregnancy. I'm stoked. Honestly though it still doesn't feel real or like it is actually going to happen despite feeling nauseous pretty much 24/7

    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure? Combining bedrooms for my two older ones and acquiring a new infant car seat. Otherwise we have everything we need (unless it's a girl cause I will need all things girly and frilly!)

    Any other questions, comments, concerns?
    Nah, just stupid excited to be here! :)
    Pregnancy Ticker
    baybeesunflowerlynkatFigTreeMama

  • How many kids at home now, and ages?
    2 boys, soon to be 7 yr old and a 21 month old 

    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work? 
    I have stage 3 Endometriosis and we did fertility treatments for a yr before getting pregnant with DS. I was so emotionally wrecked from all that so it took some time to be ready for number 2. Another fertility treatment brought us our second son. For almost 10 yrs we have never had success and so to become pregnant now, on our own, via sex is very surprising!! A happy surprise for me (not so much DH)

    What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)?
    Absolutely shocked. I kept going to look at the pee stick. My husband about died when I told him. We were not planning for a 3rd, even though deep down i wanted another but knew it would never happen. Jokes on us.

    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure?
    Getting my husband to calm down and realize it will all work out. He is still so shocked and so stressed about finances and chaos that will ensue after birth. 
    lynkat
  • How many kids at home now, and ages? 7 yr old and 5 year old.

    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work? Pull out method. I stopped taking birth control back in 2010. All 3 of ours were oopsies.

    What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)? Sad. I was so excited for my future. Both kids will be in school all day next year. Planned out my next two years of school to finally get a degree and look for a better job. Im finishing my Biotechnology Associates, and transferring in the fall 2020 to a bachelors program.

    Thankfully there is an online program available to transfer to, or I would have to put school on hold for a bit. I just hope I get accepted. I'll start out part time, not overdo it. This semester has been so hard! 15 credits of classes. Two school drop off lines. No family nearby. Hisband gone. Pregnancy with the worst nausea I have experienced. Overwheled is an understatement. 

    I am not as upset anymore. I know the kids will love it, and will be helpful. I love baby snuggles, and I am glad I'll get more. This baby is already loved.

    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure? Managing my time and schedule. If my husband didnt travel, it would be easier! 

    Any other questions, comments, concerns? My husband was surprisingly happy about it. Though he feels bad that I am so sick, and sad about slowing down with my school.

    JessiBridelynkatbgdwg
  • @starshipcapt Hugs! I hate when when husband travels even just a little! I hope that next semester is easier!
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • How many kids at home now, and ages? 2 boys, ages 4 and 6 months.


    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work? I have pcos. It took us a year and fertility meds to get pregnant with our 6 month old. I haven't had a period since he was born. I was completely fine with having just 2 babies but the good lord had other plans. I was upset about it at first since my baby will only be 13 months when the new baby arrives, but I've come to terms with it and I'm starting to become excited. 


    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure? Having two babies in diapers at the same time. Well just having two babies period really. Thankfully my oldest loves helping with baby brother, so I'm sure he will be a huge help with this one too. 


    Any other questions, comments, concerns? Hubby has been excited since we found out. (He's secretly hoping for a girl this time) lol hopefully we will find out soon enough!
    bgdwg
  • @starshipcapt I apologize if this is too intrusive, but if your previous pregnancies were oopsies and you weren't looking to have a third, why use the same method that already failed twice?
    Pregnancy Ticker
    stassischroederruby696chichiphinshoogapoff
  • Ive been trying to convince my husband to get a vasectomy. I can't take birth control. I tried many different kinds and they all either made me a bit(or a lot) unstable. Or made me bleed for 3 weeks a month. We use condoms about 50% of the time. And I like sex. Ive always wanted 3 kids, just not the 3rd right now. Husband was the one that didnt want anymore. But he was more excited than me when we found out. I'll definitely not be having sex until he gets a vasectomy after this birth though. Not worth the chances. 
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • My husband wanted to schedule a vasectomy as soon as we found out lol.  I told him he needed to wait until the baby was born and all was good.  So, I anticipate he will be doing that sometime next year!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • +1 to team vasectomy next year. My husband really worries about SIDS so he'll schedule once baby is 6 months old. His choice. I think our one pack of condoms will still be in safe age then. I can imagine there being much time for sex after baby anyway. Wasn't after number 2, and it'll still be 3 kids in 4 years.
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @diagonalley my husband was actually looking into vasectomies before he knew about this pregnancy. He always puts things on the back burner 
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • How many kids at home now, and ages? 2 boys, 5 & 2

    Want to talk about how your family planning did or didn't work? we recently switched to NFP so we knew it was possible but were trying to avoid for awhile longer. I have a theory that I sometimes double ovulate and I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.

    What was your initial reaction, and how has it changed (or not changed yet!)? I knew the day before I tested because my boobs felt crazy sore and heavy so I had already started processing before I saw the positive test. I was surprised but not shocked. DH felt the same. Still feels a little surreal.

    What do you see as the biggest obstacles in this unplanned adventure? Finances. This was the main reason we were avoiding. We knew we wanted another but DH just started a new business so it doesn’t feel as “secure” as we would like bringing another child into the world. I’m also a little worried about being outnumbered as this will be #3.

    Any other questions, comments, concerns? Not today 
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