Benched W/O 10/28

charmedlifex3

***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.***

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer- even if it is for a good reason.  Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and are "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________ 
Are you benched or TTA? 

What brings you here? 

How long do you think you'll be here? 

How have things been going? 

Any R/R/CS? 

GTKY:  Are you dressing up in a costume this week for anything fun? If yes - what?!

charmedlifex3

Are you benched or TTA? Benched, not my fault this time! DH broke his damn back, so we are out of the game. consult with the surgeon on the 11th, so we'll have a better idea as to for how long at that point. 

What brings you here?  Figured I would get this started for the week. I think I am not the only one sitting on the sidelines this month. 


How long do you think you'll be here?  Every since my cycles sorted, I seem to have short cycles. So I will probably O before we have more information, so at least this month - possibly until Feb if he needs surgery. 

How have things been going?  Ugh. Awful I feel like we just can't catch a break. MC first week of the month, DH broke his back the second, our kitten died the third week, and now we are all sick. Because having the cold from hell makes everything rosier. 

Any R/R/CS?  My dad called me today and said I just "Needed to change my outlook."  That "Maybe it's you, why everything is going wrong." Thanks. That's super helpful.  Guilt me about the fact I managed to lose two babies inside of a fortnight, my husband is injured, and I am sick, and I am SAD about all of this, so it's my fault it happened? 



GTKY:  Are you dressing up in a costume this week for anything fun? If yes - what?! I have lion ears. So I guess I am going to be a lion to hand out candy. We get a lot of trick or treaters, it's so fun!

tyrion_

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here?

 I was spiraling. **TW loss mentioned** My miscarriage rolled right into the first anniversary of my dad’s passing, I gained 17 lbs over summer and with each month I didn’t get KU I felt like I was sinking. And I don’t know how to say this without potentially hurting someone that’s been through way more than I have (and for way longer) but I also started feeling the real possibility that I wouldn’t be KU by my empty due date and my anxiety got the best of me. Just figured/hoped/wished I’d be a unicorn and be KU within 3 months of my loss. I also didn’t anticipate that the worst part of a miscarriage (at least for me) wouldn’t be over when it was physically over. These milestones (i’d be x amount weeks, learning the sex, viability”, etc) would gut me over and over again. 

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully just another week. WFAF which should be here late in the weekend/early next week. 

How have things been going? Great. I was putting so much pressure on myself that I think I was negatively impacting my body. The last two cycles I had some really early spotting that lasted through most of my TWW. This cycle, I’m at 10 DPO with nothing. Maybe it’s a fluke, maybe it isn’t. But it’s helping my mindset to get back into the ttc game. 

Any R/R/CS? It was interesting to see how I got the same symptoms as my other cycles. Without the crazy SS I can rationally look at it and say, “yea, this happens all the time. Maybe I shouldn’t be so nutty.” Let’s see how long that lasts. 

GTKY:  Are you dressing up in a costume this week for anything fun? If yes - what?! Maybe I’ll wear a Halloween shirt. I’m no fun. 

tyrion_

@whatsbumpinpumpkin I know I already said it but your dad was out of line. Your feelings are valid and he’s a jerk. I’m so sorry your husband got so injured. His injury sounds very scary. Is he in a giant brace to stabilize his spine? 

bobbyflies2020

Lurking as I am back in the game as of Thursday...

@whatsbumpinpumpkin SO sorry about your dad's uninformed, hurtful comments. He is so, so wrong. 😠 I got so many rude comments from my family minimizing or downplaying things. Sorry to hear you msy have to wait until Feb. Is he allowed to give a sperm sample or would you guys consider doing a home IUI? So sorry to hear about all of this.

@tyrion_ I am so sorry about all of this. The false hope after a miscarriage and fear of being PGAL is such a mindf*k. Remembering every milestone sounds too painful to bear. You are very strong ❤

charmedlifex3

@tyrion_ So far, no. He had a compression fracture on his T7 and T8 which is about mid back.  Since he hurt his chest at the same time, any kind of supportive brace will cause as many problems as it fixes, so they just told him not to lift over five pounds. Everything is over five pounds. 
@bobbyflies2020 That's a good idea, lol. I will look into it if this goes past the 11th.