How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? Everyone who matters knows already. I drove 1.5 hours to mom and dad’s the day we found out with my son in a big brother shirt. I got to tell most people in person, and called the rest!
How did you tell your partner? I was 100% sure I was for two days before the test was positive and he was like 60% sure but was also like “maybe it’s pms, don’t get too excited.” So the morning I tested at like 6 am I got a positive really quickly and I got in bed with him and woke him up by saying I TOLD YOU SO 😂 I didn’t realize he’d accidentally taken too much NyQuil so he went “that’s nice mom” and went back to sleep. Two hours later he came downstairs holding a test and was like why didn’t you wake me up?!?!?
Who will you tell next? My brother and I are not on great terms right now but I’ll find a way to tell him and SIL before it’s online. After first appointment though, I don’t really want to tell them before then just in case because I wouldn’t find them comforting or supportive if we had a loss.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? Hard to hide for me. I get sick and I bloat bump fast so it’s obvious quickly. We also don’t really feel like it’s a big secret, and even if we had a loss for us we’d acknowledge this as our second baby regardless of outcome, so we don’t hide it much. Im just not telling people that I don’t want to hear from if it’s not good because I’d rather have space to grieve before we made anything public, which we would.
How and when are your telling those you work with? Self employed sooo 😂 but I am telling my brides for the next few weeks so they are aware of why I’m bringing assistants we had not talked about ahead of time when they booked. They’re not having to pay more, I just feel better having extra backup.
Are you making an social media announcement? Yes we will. I’m fairly open about life online, and have a decent ish social media presence due to work, so we definitely share things like this. Not sure how yet though!
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?
We are waiting until the first appointment (@ 9 weeks) if everything looks good we will tell our families at that point. Our first was a surprise and we weren’t in the best situation (DH had just started an intensive grad program and we were on my sole teachers income) so the announcement wasn’t super exiting. This time around we can’t wait to share the news!
How did you tell your partner?
I took the test in the morning before work and then woke him up and told him there was something he needed to see in the restroom. We had a mini celebration and then off to work.
Who will you tell next?
our families are first on the list and then some close friends
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
we are generally pretty private and would just rather wait until the anxiety eases up.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
I’m really hoping to keep it a secret at work until closer to 20w but it will depend on how much I’m showing. I would rather wait as long as possible.
Are you making an social media announcement?
we will probably make one around Christmas after the anatomy scan. Our extended family is spread all over and that’s the easiest way to share the news with everyone.
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? I plan on telling family after our 1st ultrasound (October 8), although I told my sister the day after I took the test. We ended up having to tell my MIL and FIL yesterday because they were trying to plan a family vacation for all of us in June. Baby throws a wrench into what they were planning.
How did you tell your partner? He was with me when I took the test. We looked at it together.
Who will you tell next? My parents and the rest of our siblings
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I just wanted to see a healthy baby on the ultrasound first.
How and when are your telling those you work with? I'm planning on doing something around Halloween because I'll be just out of the 1st trimester. I thought about just getting one of those pregnant skeleton shirts and wearing it that day. I'm somewhat new to this job so I feel kind of weird making a huge tada over it, but that seems fairly subtle.
Are you making an social media announcement? Probably. We did with our 1st so we'll probably do something similar.
How did you tell your partner? Haven't told him yet. I ordered a sister bear shirt from Amazon and I'm waiting for it to get here Wednesday. I plan on having it out with pants and asking him to put her Pj's on for me. For his first father's day I got him a papa bear shirt and dd a baby bear onesie.
Who will you tell next? After MH I'm thinking of telling our close friends who are due in February. She watches out daughter while we work so we see her every day. We work with the husband and I'm not sure if he can keep his mouth shut so kind of don't want to tell him. After that it will be family.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? Because of a previous loss is like to wait until 2nd tri
How and when are your telling those you work with? I'm a teacher so i need to find a way to tell my colleagues and my students. I'd like to have fun with it this time around. Last time I denied until I was too big to not, I think around 22 weeks 😂. I'll have to tell my principal by December though because I'm an advisor for a club that has plans to go to Greece the last week in April and I'll need to find someone to go for me. 2 years ago I missed a trip to Ireland, this one I was nervous leaving dd for 10 days, but it looks like I don't have to.
Are you making an social media announcement?
We did for dd and we likely will again, if like for it to be more subtle. I've recently given up facebook so MH will have to use his to do it. MIL feels the need to take whatever we part and share it herself which angers me so I'm leaning towards no announcement.
How did you tell your partner? Well, we went through fertility treatment so I woke him up and said “come in here and see how dark this line is!”
Who will you tell next? Probably my parents in a couple weeks or so since we’ll be crashing at their house while we wait for our house to be completed.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? We told our parents right away last time and I just feel like holding this one a little closer to my chest. If we could get away with living at my parents and not telling them, then I would do that.
How and when are your telling those you work with? Great question.... I’ll probably tell them before Christmas to start figuring out maternity leave since they don’t have a set thing but you’re supposed to just talk with you manager haha
Are you making an social media announcement? Nope. After being a part of the infertility community before DD and before this pregnancy, I’m not announcing. Just like last time, people that I don’t talk to regularly will find out when they see a random picture of me with a belly.
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?
We told our immediate family and friends over the phone the day we found out.
How did you tell your partner?
I took the test in the morning and I didn't think I was pregnant while I was taking it; I thought I only had PMS symptoms. I looked at it and when I looked, i thought it was negative so I told him and we talked about what we would try next month. I looked at it closer when I went to throw it away and saw another pink line and excitedly showed him.
Who will you tell next?
Other friends and family.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
I want to wait until I'm further along
How and when are your telling those you work with?
I have a work trip planned that involves flying. And when my boss told me about it, I mentioned we were palnning to start a family soon. My company is great and his response was that he is very excited for us and that if I was pregnant for the trip he would make sure im not stressed. We just got some clearer dates on when I should go so I will be telling him after I talk to my midwife and get the all clear to fly. I won't be telling anyone else at work until later.
Are you making an social media announcement
I will make an announcemet but I haven't thought too much into it.
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? Idk. I usually wait until at least 12 weeks. I'm dying to tell my friends and my other BMB's but my PGAL brain is holding me back. BFF texted me the day I got my BFP that she was pregnant. I've been wanting so badly to tell her, but I'm so nervous. It feels safer somehow holding my cards to my chest.
How did you tell your partner? My husband was in the thick of a job search/interviewing when I finally tested. He told me not to tell him because he didn't want that on his mind too. So I didn't...for about four hours anyway. He couldn't wait any longer come dinner time and begged me to tell him. He was thrilled. A few days later he got hired at one of the jobs he was pursuing. Good timing!
Who will you tell next? Probably my BMB's. I'm not even sure why I haven't yet. I always tell them. I'm just hesitating still right now.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? Just knowing myself and knowing how I feel after losses. The least amount of people trying to comfort me the better, honestly. For some reason that makes it so much worse for me. On a positive note, I really like having this special little secret no one knows about but me and DH. That's kind of sweet and romantic to us.
How and when are your telling those you work with? N/A.
Are you making an social media announcement? Idk. I did with the other two, which makes me think I'll probably do with this one. I'm not super demonstrative on SM and don't post a lot. Probably just a "baby coming" and "baby is here" kind of postage. I've been kind of thinking of doing something like "another little pumpkin coming xyz" with lined up pumpkins or something. I may not do anything though.
Howand when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? I’m hoping we can hold out until Thanksgiving. It’s really important to me because my stepdad works out of town. He and my mom are away most of the year, and the next time he’ll be home is for Thanksgiving. I’ve got these “grandkid” frames that I’ve been hanging onto since before I got pregnant with DD. The timing didn’t work out to use them last time. I want to give to our parents at each family Thanksgiving dinner (DH’s aunt hosts for their side in the afternoon and my mom hosts for my side in the evening). I’ll put photos of our kids (and my nephew for my mom and stepdad) and an ultrasound in the frames. Wrap them and have our parents unwrap them before dinner. I don’t usually see my dad on Thanksgiving, but I might stop by his house in the morning before he goes to his MIL’s house. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m also planning on sending holiday cards with our announcement. Hoping to get them in the mail the day before Thanksgiving so that by Saturday, it’s made it to mailboxes.
Howdidyoutellyourpartner? Since I just found out this morning, it didn’t leave me a lot of time to come up with something cute for him. He and I stole a moment to snuggle in bed while the kids were playing in the living room. I told him I had a secret and he had to guess it. He had some weird guesses, but then we got there. 😂
Who will you tell next? I actually told my parents and extended families at Thanksgiving. Other friends and relatives with Christmas cards.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I just want to use these frames! That, combined with my stepdad working out of town. He's been begging for another grandbaby since DD was about 6 months old. His daughter's one and done, his son isn't anywhere close, and neither is my sister. I'm the only one who would be having a baby anytime soon. He's going to be so excited.
How and when are your telling those you work with? I'll tell my principal if I end up sick. DH's aunt teaches next door to me, so I'm going to try to wait until after Thanksgiving break to tell anyone.
Are you making an social media announcement? Probably. But it'd be kind of fun to not do that.
Howand when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? I've already started telling people. After 5 and a half years of TTC, I was so excited that I had to tell my husband, my close friends here in VA, my husband's immediate family, and my immediate family pretty early on. After the early scans at 5 weeks and 6.5 weeks with my reproductive endocrinologist, I did tell a few other friends and my cousin. I'm hoping to tell more people after my first OB appointment as long as everything seems to be good and normal.
Howdidyoutellyourpartner? I had thought about making some elaborate plan, but I was so surprised that after hundreds of negative tests over the years that I actually got a positive, I just screamed for him to come to the bathroom. He thought that I needed him to kill a bug, and he stumbled in half-asleep because I had woken him up. I stuck the test in his face and asked him if he saw a second line too, and then when he confirmed I wasn't hallucinating, we cried and hugged each other and celebrated.
Who will you tell next? I really want to tell my co-workers as I have a really great and supportive workplace. My boss knows because of all the appointments and labwork so far, but I have managed to not say anything for 4 weeks now, but I hope to tell them sometime between 10-11 weeks. I also want to tell some of the ladies at my church as I know they'll be supportive and excited. I've just been hesitant because I'm still a little afraid of getting my hopes up.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I knew that there were certain people that I would want to walk with me regardless of what happens, people who have proven themselves to stick by my husband and I through our infertility journey and would rush in to help us if the worst case scenario were to happen. I haven't had any reasons to worry; my RE was very happy at my 6.5 weeks scan and I've had no worrying symptoms like bleeding. Everyone I haven't told yet are people that I either am not sure I would want to know about a miscarriage or am not sure would be able to keep a secret.
How and when are your telling those you work with? I've already told my boss, and I'm still trying to figure out exactly when and how I'll tell my co-workers, but it will be soon as I know they've noticed my extra doctor's appointments and how tired I've been lately.
Are you making an social media announcement? My sister has already told me that she will take pictures of me when I'm ready to make a social media announcement. I'm thinking I'll probably do that sometime after I get back from vacation - so probably a Halloween-themed announcement that I'll post around that time 14-15 weeks.
my husband just informed me he *might* have said something to his mother about me being pregnant... so even though we haven't told anyone yet, nor decided who or how or when to tell, he let it slip
@pirateduck I would be furious. Or I'd start crying. Maybe both.
Yeah, well, it happened, I can't undo it, we'll have to talk more on it later. Makes me wonder if he's told anyone else. His mom lives on the other side of the country so I'm not too worried about too many people finding out through her. And if she spills the beans and things go south, then she can also tell all those people the bad news too. She is on her way to go live near her other son who just had his second little one, so I suppose it would be nice if we can share the news with them before she does since he is one of the family members we are closest to.
Reminds me of my wedding. My mom apparently started telling all these family members to mark calendars and such, but then they weren't invited. She had to then go back to them and explain about the "small" wedding we were having. I wasn't the one who told them to come so I wasn't about to be the one who is apologetic and un-inviting people.
@pirateduck oh wow. That should be fun. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, Dave decided he wanted to tell his parents last night so now they know. I don’t know why I didn’t want to tell them, but I didn’t. 😂😝 Of course it could be because usually his mom says something like “it’s about damn time” every time... 😐😣
@mdfarmchick I was all ready to tell one of my best friends who was so sympathetic about my MC and is one of the few that knows about my infertility struggles when we hung out a few days ago and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I think I hardly believe it myself still so it's hard to admit it to others. Perhaps after our next scan (I wonder how many more times I'll say that).
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? - I'm probably going to hold off until we have our first ultrasound before telling family and friends. I'll want to make sure the pregnancy is viable first. How did you tell your partner? - I woke him up early this morning lol as soon as I got the BFP. Who will you tell next? - Well I just told my J18 mom's group... it'll probably be two close friends who I tell next on Saturday when we hang out. Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? - Part of it is self denial because we just got the BFP this morning, and this wasn't a planned pregnancy. The other part is I want to make sure the pregnancy is viable before getting other people (like my mom who REALLY wants another grandchild) excited. How and when are your telling those you work with? - I'll probably tell my boss once I get confirmation the baby is viable so she can plan/schedule accordingly. As for the rest of my co-workers... I'll either do what I did last time, which is make an announcement to my team OR I'll just tell people as I feel comfortable. Are you making an social media announcement? - I'll probably make a social media announcement in the 2nd tri after we learn the sex of the baby.
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? Nothing fancy. Probably something tasteless and funny (to me)
How did you tell your partner? I texted him a pic of the test from across the room. Who will you tell next? Probably my DND group since they were all there for me during my loss. Plus we’re all moms except for one who’s my coworker which makes it tricky. Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I’m not really waiting... I just haven’t seen anyone besides coworkers. How and when are your telling those you work with? I’m not sure. My work is in a weird place right now. I have an internal interview on Thursday. My mom belly will likely give it away before I want to tell and done A-hole will make a comment about it. Are you making an social media announcement? Meh. Probably not anything fancy.
@Amyface813 some Ahole and my belly at work outed me last time. Our maintenance man for the school looked at me and was like when are you due, I decided to make him feel like an ass hole and told him, what? I'm not pregnant just fat, but thank you. MH found him the next day and said he needed to talk to him, he was so apologetic and said he didn't mean it, and mh felt bad and told him we just weren't telling students yet and there were students around but I was actually pregnant.
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?
I’m waiting at least until after my appt on Oct 1, but haven’t decided how long.
How did you tell your partner?
Nothing special, he knew I was going to take the test and I just showed it to him when the line appeared.
Who will you tell next?
I might tell my best friend who lives far away. Probably next is DD on her birthday at the end of Oct.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
Partially the usual reason, and partially because I don’t normally talk about myself so telling people doesn’t come naturally.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
I already told my boss at my annual review about a week after I found out. I wanted to be able to be open with her about appointments. And one coworker knows because it slipped out the day I took the test, but she’s not the type to gossip about it, thank goodness.
Are you making an social media announcement?
No. I’m pretty careful about my online presence and that of DD and future baby so put very little out there.
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? I don't really plan on saying anything to most people. I will tell a couple of very close friends probably over the phone. I'll probably just tell either my mom or sister. After that, everyone in my family will know shortly after. I'm thinking of letting people know around Thanksgiving or maybe Christmas.
How did you tell your partner? I barely remember because I was truly shocked. But I called him and told him at work. I then took a picture of the tests and sent them to him.
Who will you tell next? Probably mom or sister (see above)
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I still haven't even had an appointment. I know that I'm pregnant, but it feels weird telling when I have no info. I'm also waiting until after the 1st trimester ends when the chances of miscarrying are down.
How and when are your telling those you work with? My coworkers will find out when I'm showing. My co-teacher knows though. She caught me throwing up. I also sometimes leave the room to vomit.
Are you making a social media announcement? No. Neither my husband nor myself does any real social media anymore.
I told my boss yesterday! It went really well and she was really appreciative and felt very respected for me letting her know this early. My department is just a small team of 6 people (including my boss and I) so I am probably going to tell the rest of the team after my first ultrasound, so the week of October 14. We are graphic designers so I want to come up with something creative and cute. I'm thinking I will play on the size, since accurate measurements are a big part of what we do.
I told my boss as she is very supportive of me in general and I wanted to make sure she factored it in with deadlines and things we will need to figure out closer to summer. My coworker that I share an office with (and work vehicle when we are out in the field) knows because I couldn't handle her eating a chicken salad sandwich in the vehicle.
Other than that, we are going to wait until possibly the anatomy scan like we did with our other pregnancies. There are two more coworkers in our office that don't know. But at the same time, it's a small government office in a small town so I'm sure that people will talk fast and soon. ugh.
How and when do you plan on telling others you’re pregnant? I want to tell my family after our 8-week ultrasound...kicker there is I don’t want to tell my MIL and FIL until later, because (and I LOVE them but) my MIL cannot keep a secret to save her life, so I just don’t feel comfortable. Anyone else have that problem?
How did you tell your partner? I told him we had to make a BDAY video for a family member and then instead said I was pregnant and gave him a little gift bag with baby stuff and the tests. He was so shocked I actually wish I had just taken the test with him there because I totally threw him off with that trick lol
I’ll wait a while to tell work, I want to go full time in January to qualify for maternity leave so I’m not sure when to tell them really...
We’ll do a social media announcement We have a Disney trip coming in November so I’ve been pinteresting cute ideas of pictures to take at the park !
Bumping this up to the top as I'm sure more of us have told people.
We told our friends & family at my daughters birthday party 2 weeks ago. It went really well and everyone was excited. I guess my dad and SIL had a feeling already long before. More extended family and friends have found out through the holidays. More will find out over Christmas. Still debating on a social media post.
@m6agua I'm over here debating a social media post with you. I have cute coordinating rainbow baby and big brother shirts, but I keep losing the nerve to post anything.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@m6agua and @shamrocandroll I'm with you on debating the social media post as well. We now have told most of our close friends and family with either a phone call or in person. No crazy or special announcement. I have a hard time telling people and cry pretty much every time. I told my boss (one on one face to face conversation), which I was terrified to do, and she was really happy for me and really supportive (she is childless by choice so I didn't think she'd be so understanding), though outside of my department, most people at work still don't know. My boss as well as friends without kids seem to think that once baby is born I will be back to work and regular activities as usual like nothing's changed, but I'm trying to gently guide them and remind them that it may not be that way in real life (hint hint, prepare for the fact that there's a chance I won't be back to work immediately after baby's birth). I remind them that I've never given birth before, I don't know how I will feel physically (like what if there are complications and it's a rough delivery or takes more of a toll on my body than I'm prepared for) or emotionally, will I want to stay home 24/7 or will it drive me crazy, and the reality, daycare is expensive and hard to find and even if I want to return to work and snowboarding immediately, I may not have full time child care.
Then there's the fact that I have some uncertainty in my pregnancy in regards to the health of the baby (and had a previous loss most people don't know about), so it's all a huge emotionally charged situation. I don't like pretending everything is ok, and pretending things are normal, and pretending I'm not pregnant, when none of these things are true. It's not that I want to hide it so much as it's hard for me to talk about. I think I will post something online after I get amnio results and have a better idea of what we're in for. The anatomy scan will be about the same time soon so I should have a good ultrasound pic that actually looks like a baby to the untrained eye!
No SM announcement for us. I'm not big on SM anyway, but I worry how an announcement would affect friends with fertility issues. Granted, we did IF treatment to get here and I've had multiple losses, but people don't know about all that. I'm afraid it would look like I'm rubbing babies 3&4 in their faces, and I feel like that's unnecessary.
I don't think we're doing a SM announcement. I've told close friends and wrote it on our christmas card to others. But DH didn't write it on the ones he was responsible for even though I told him to. So I'll have to make sure he tells those people.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
@ruby696 I worry about those things too with SM. Contrarily, I was dealing with IF for many years before I had DS1 and I don't remember finding those announcements triggering, but I know everyone experiences things differently. In some ways, they made me feel a little hope. I've been thinking about this a lot myself with the announcement of #3. I've announced 1&2 so I feel like I probably should just for the sake of consistency. But I don't want to hurt anyone either. I've told everyone close in my life - minus my IL's, of course - including my BFF who had a similar due date and experienced a loss. I think I just want to do something understated because we ARE just as excited about #3 as we were about #1. There has to be a balance between being respectful of grief and being able to celebrate your own joy because that's valid too.
@Austenista You are right, we have a right to be happy and celebrate our pregnancies. A social media announcement in some ways allows others to process this information before they may confront you face to face when they run into you with a huge bump at the grocery store or something. I felt it was important to personally share the news with people first before announcing to a larger audience online. I wanted to be sure that certain people knew and make it personal. I know as the receiver of the news I was upset when my brother planned a big gender reveal photo shoot and shared photos on FB, but I didn't have FB and he never once sent me a photo or told me the gender of the baby until birth. I felt left out and unimportant at that point. I think we do need to be sensitive to those that are close to us in our lives and don't forget to include them even if we have long distance relationships. Also don't expect people to know you are pregnant just because you have announced it on social media, not everyone looks at it regularly and the announcement could have gotten lost in the shuffle.
I wanted to post a bump photo on IG the other day but thought it would be out of place since I never even posted a pregnancy announcement on IG. In the end I decided against it, but then I keep second guessing that because I'm not exactly trying to hide anything either.
We still haven’t told anyone, and probably won’t start making wide announcements until I’m 5-6 months. After my mil’s drama and my paif anxiety in my first pregnancy, I’m much more comfortable waiting until after my anatomy scan to start telling.
I wanted to post an announcement social media on Thanksgiving but held off 1. Because I thought it could be hard news to see on a holiday depending on the reader and 2. I'm anxious to hear the heartbeat again. I've super edited my contacts on SM so I feel comfortable with a post. What I don't do (and don't think is appropriate) is to post constant complaints about pregnancy symptoms or unnecessary updates (that's what you guys get 😂). I think those can come across insensitive and may be very hurtful. With DD we posted the announcement, a very casual "it's a girl" post, and a "yes, I'm 41.5 weeks and still pregnant" post. I have a post ready for this one and will probably post it after my check-up next week. If not, I already ordered the Xmas cards with an announcement printed on the back. I'm hoping to hide it from students until after the December holidays.
I think social media overall is such a finnicky thing. We decided to announce because we have a lot of friends and family that are out of state and even overseas (military family) and it’s hard to get into contact with everyone personally. MH’s cousin announced she was pregnant the same day 2 hours after us with the hashtag five weeks two days. It was quite strange since we announced at 14 weeks. We posted the sex for the holidays. We’re having our first girl after two boys. Said cousin is now posting weekly updates with the hashtags 6 weeks and 7 weeks and team boy because they have two girls. It started to feel slightly awkward and competitive so I decided to hide my posts from her. Something to keep in mind if you are worried about certain people. You can hide post and limit audiences if that’s your preference.
@rox7777 I think you nailed it. There’s a difference between announcing your pregnancy on social media and turning your account into a diary of your pregnancy! A baby post here and there interspersed with a vacation photo, the amazing sunset, the foot of snow, your cat being cute, or whatever else is part of your normal life is good in my book, healthy mix/balance.
I’m not sure if we will really announce anything until my brothers sex reveal party, even that I am wondering about because we have a very close friend who *TW had their baby at 23 weeks and he didn’t make it end TW* so I don’t know. I told DF we need to tell them separate from everyone else but I jjust want to allow them to grieve and feel however they are without the extra of one of their friends having a baby.
I feel like I'm in such a weird position about announcing. MH is my second marriage -- we each have 2 teenagers from our first marriages (exactly the same ages, a senior and a sophomore in high school each, oddly enough). The teenagers are NOT happy about the twins. So I told my family before Thanksgiving but asked them not to talk about it with the older kids. And I won't be making a big deal on social media because I'm connected to the seniors. It's making the whole experience really challenging -- to be excited but also sensitive.
@allie456 sorry that your older kids aren't excited. Hopefully they just need time to adjust and will feel more positive as it gets closer to the actual birth.
We announced on social media in mid-November. We're friends on SM with a lot of people that we don't see on a regular basis but still care about (college friends, extended family, friends from our previous church, etc.) and we wanted to share with all those people, but we wanted them to find out as directly as possible without hearing it through the grapevine or something.
@jrouge12 I keep putting off a SM announcement waiting for some unknown appointment that will make me feel ready to do it. I told pretty much everybody I know in every day life at like 5 weeks, so I was excited thinking about announcing at Halloween, then Thanksgiving, now I'm thinking probably after New year's. The longer I wait after each appointment the more I'm like, nope, after the next one shows everything is still going smoothly. 🤷
@allie456 Teenagers are tough. I was 12 when my mom had my baby brother, not quite as old as your kids and step kids. I remember when she and my stepdad first told us I was not pleased. To my young, selfish brain it felt like a slap in the face like me and my sisters weren’t good enough for them and they had to have another family “without” us. I distinctly remember being really pissed that my mom didn’t consult me on whether I wanted another sibling or not. As things progressed I had time to adjust to the idea of a baby brother and I was so excited by the time he was born. My sisters and I were all there in the delivery room. From the minute he was born, we loved the heck out of him and now he’s smothered in sisterly love. Give the kids time and try to involve them as much as they will let you and I’m sure they will come around. They just need to know you aren’t going to stop loving them or love the new babies “more.” Teenagers are selfish and don’t always see that love grows to accommodate more people. Just keep reminding them that they will always be your babies too.
@lisush I’m realizing a lot of us seem to feel this way, regardless of medical history, there always seems to be one more thing to worry about in pregnancy as well as fear or others reactions.
Re: Pregnancy Announcements: How and When to let the cat out of the bag!
Everyone who matters knows already. I drove 1.5 hours to mom and dad’s the day we found out with my son in a big brother shirt. I got to tell most people in person, and called the rest!
How did you tell your partner?
I was 100% sure I was for two days before the test was positive and he was like 60% sure but was also like “maybe it’s pms, don’t get too excited.” So the morning I tested at like 6 am I got a positive really quickly and I got in bed with him and woke him up by saying I TOLD YOU SO 😂 I didn’t realize he’d accidentally taken too much NyQuil so he went “that’s nice mom” and went back to sleep. Two hours later he came downstairs holding a test and was like why didn’t you wake me up?!?!?
Who will you tell next?
My brother and I are not on great terms right now but I’ll find a way to tell him and SIL before it’s online. After first appointment though, I don’t really want to tell them before then just in case because I wouldn’t find them comforting or supportive if we had a loss.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
Hard to hide for me. I get sick and I bloat bump fast so it’s obvious quickly. We also don’t really feel like it’s a big secret, and even if we had a loss for us we’d acknowledge this as our second baby regardless of outcome, so we don’t hide it much. Im just not telling people that I don’t want to hear from if it’s not good because I’d rather have space to grieve before we made anything public, which we would.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
Self employed sooo 😂 but I am telling my brides for the next few weeks so they are aware of why I’m bringing assistants we had not talked about ahead of time when they booked. They’re not having to pay more, I just feel better having extra backup.
Are you making an social media announcement?
Yes we will. I’m fairly open about life online, and have a decent ish social media presence due to work, so we definitely share things like this. Not sure how yet though!
We are waiting until the first appointment (@ 9 weeks) if everything looks good we will tell our families at that point. Our first was a surprise and we weren’t in the best situation (DH had just started an intensive grad program and we were on my sole teachers income) so the announcement wasn’t super exiting. This time around we can’t wait to share the news!
How did you tell your partner?
I took the test in the morning before work and then woke him up and told him there was something he needed to see in the restroom. We had a mini celebration and then off to work.
Who will you tell next?
our families are first on the list and then some close friends
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
we are generally pretty private and would just rather wait until the anxiety eases up.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
I’m really hoping to keep it a secret at work until closer to 20w but it will depend on how much I’m showing. I would rather wait as long as possible.
Are you making an social media announcement?
we will probably make one around Christmas after the anatomy scan. Our extended family is spread all over and that’s the easiest way to share the news with everyone.
I plan on telling family after our 1st ultrasound (October 8), although I told my sister the day after I took the test. We ended up having to tell my MIL and FIL yesterday because they were trying to plan a family vacation for all of us in June. Baby throws a wrench into what they were planning.
How did you tell your partner?
He was with me when I took the test. We looked at it together.
Who will you tell next?
My parents and the rest of our siblings
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
I just wanted to see a healthy baby on the ultrasound first.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
I'm planning on doing something around Halloween because I'll be just out of the 1st trimester. I thought about just getting one of those pregnant skeleton shirts and wearing it that day. I'm somewhat new to this job so I feel kind of weird making a huge tada over it, but that seems fairly subtle.
Are you making an social media announcement?
Probably. We did with our 1st so we'll probably do something similar.
Haven't told him yet. I ordered a sister bear shirt from Amazon and I'm waiting for it to get here Wednesday. I plan on having it out with pants and asking him to put her Pj's on for me. For his first father's day I got him a papa bear shirt and dd a baby bear onesie.
After MH I'm thinking of telling our close friends who are due in February. She watches out daughter while we work so we see her every day. We work with the husband and I'm not sure if he can keep his mouth shut so kind of don't want to tell him. After that it will be family.
Because of a previous loss is like to wait until 2nd tri
Well, we went through fertility treatment so I woke him up and said “come in here and see how dark this line is!”
Who will you tell next?
Probably my parents in a couple weeks or so since we’ll be crashing at their house while we wait for our house to be completed.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
We told our parents right away last time and I just feel like holding this one a little closer to my chest. If we could get away with living at my parents and not telling them, then I would do that.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
Great question.... I’ll probably tell them before Christmas to start figuring out maternity leave since they don’t have a set thing but you’re supposed to just talk with you manager haha
Are you making an social media announcement?
Nope. After being a part of the infertility community before DD and before this pregnancy, I’m not announcing. Just like last time, people that I don’t talk to regularly will find out when they see a random picture of me with a belly.
How did you tell your partner? My husband was in the thick of a job search/interviewing when I finally tested. He told me not to tell him because he didn't want that on his mind too. So I didn't...for about four hours anyway. He couldn't wait any longer come dinner time and begged me to tell him. He was thrilled. A few days later he got hired at one of the jobs he was pursuing. Good timing!
Who will you tell next? Probably my BMB's. I'm not even sure why I haven't yet. I always tell them. I'm just hesitating still right now.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? Just knowing myself and knowing how I feel after losses. The least amount of people trying to comfort me the better, honestly. For some reason that makes it so much worse for me. On a positive note, I really like having this special little secret no one knows about but me and DH. That's kind of sweet and romantic to us.
How and when are your telling those you work with? N/A.
Are you making an social media announcement? Idk. I did with the other two, which makes me think I'll probably do with this one. I'm not super demonstrative on SM and don't post a lot. Probably just a "baby coming" and "baby is here" kind of postage. I've been kind of thinking of doing something like "another little pumpkin coming xyz" with lined up pumpkins or something. I may not do anything though.
I’ve got these “grandkid” frames that I’ve been hanging onto since before I got pregnant with DD. The timing didn’t work out to use them last time. I want to give to our parents at each family Thanksgiving dinner (DH’s aunt hosts for their side in the afternoon and my mom hosts for my side in the evening). I’ll put photos of our kids (and my nephew for my mom and stepdad) and an ultrasound in the frames. Wrap them and have our parents unwrap them before dinner. I don’t usually see my dad on Thanksgiving, but I might stop by his house in the morning before he goes to his MIL’s house. 🤷🏻♀️
I’m also planning on sending holiday cards with our announcement. Hoping to get them in the mail the day before Thanksgiving so that by Saturday, it’s made it to mailboxes.
How did you tell your partner? Since I just found out this morning, it didn’t leave me a lot of time to come up with something cute for him. He and I stole a moment to snuggle in bed while the kids were playing in the living room. I told him I had a secret and he had to guess it. He had some weird guesses, but then we got there. 😂
Who will you tell next? I actually told my parents and extended families at Thanksgiving. Other friends and relatives with Christmas cards.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I just want to use these frames!
How and when are your telling those you work with? I'll tell my principal if I end up sick. DH's aunt teaches next door to me, so I'm going to try to wait until after Thanksgiving break to tell anyone.
Are you making an social media announcement? Probably. But it'd be kind of fun to not do that.
How did you tell your partner? I had thought about making some elaborate plan, but I was so surprised that after hundreds of negative tests over the years that I actually got a positive, I just screamed for him to come to the bathroom. He thought that I needed him to kill a bug, and he stumbled in half-asleep because I had woken him up. I stuck the test in his face and asked him if he saw a second line too, and then when he confirmed I wasn't hallucinating, we cried and hugged each other and celebrated.
Who will you tell next? I really want to tell my co-workers as I have a really great and supportive workplace. My boss knows because of all the appointments and labwork so far, but I have managed to not say anything for 4 weeks now, but I hope to tell them sometime between 10-11 weeks. I also want to tell some of the ladies at my church as I know they'll be supportive and excited. I've just been hesitant because I'm still a little afraid of getting my hopes up.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I knew that there were certain people that I would want to walk with me regardless of what happens, people who have proven themselves to stick by my husband and I through our infertility journey and would rush in to help us if the worst case scenario were to happen. I haven't had any reasons to worry; my RE was very happy at my 6.5 weeks scan and I've had no worrying symptoms like bleeding. Everyone I haven't told yet are people that I either am not sure I would want to know about a miscarriage or am not sure would be able to keep a secret.
How and when are your telling those you work with? I've already told my boss, and I'm still trying to figure out exactly when and how I'll tell my co-workers, but it will be soon as I know they've noticed my extra doctor's appointments and how tired I've been lately.
Are you making an social media announcement? My sister has already told me that she will take pictures of me when I'm ready to make a social media announcement. I'm thinking I'll probably do that sometime after I get back from vacation - so probably a Halloween-themed announcement that I'll post around that time 14-15 weeks.
Reminds me of my wedding. My mom apparently started telling all these family members to mark calendars and such, but then they weren't invited. She had to then go back to them and explain about the "small" wedding we were having. I wasn't the one who told them to come so I wasn't about to be the one who is apologetic and un-inviting people.
- I'm probably going to hold off until we have our first ultrasound before telling family and friends. I'll want to make sure the pregnancy is viable first.
How did you tell your partner?
- I woke him up early this morning lol as soon as I got the BFP.
Who will you tell next?
- Well I just told my J18 mom's group... it'll probably be two close friends who I tell next on Saturday when we hang out.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
- Part of it is self denial because we just got the BFP this morning, and this wasn't a planned pregnancy. The other part is I want to make sure the pregnancy is viable before getting other people (like my mom who REALLY wants another grandchild) excited.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
- I'll probably tell my boss once I get confirmation the baby is viable so she can plan/schedule accordingly. As for the rest of my co-workers... I'll either do what I did last time, which is make an announcement to my team OR I'll just tell people as I feel comfortable.
Are you making an social media announcement?
- I'll probably make a social media announcement in the 2nd tri after we learn the sex of the baby.
#2 DD 7/1/17
EDD 2/29/20 MC 7/19/19
#3 EDD 5/29/19
How did you tell your partner? Nothing special, he knew I was going to take the test and I just showed it to him when the line appeared.
Who will you tell next? I might tell my best friend who lives far away. Probably next is DD on her birthday at the end of Oct.
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? Partially the usual reason, and partially because I don’t normally talk about myself so telling people doesn’t come naturally.
How and when are your telling those you work with? I already told my boss at my annual review about a week after I found out. I wanted to be able to be open with her about appointments. And one coworker knows because it slipped out the day I took the test, but she’s not the type to gossip about it, thank goodness.
Are you making an social media announcement? No. I’m pretty careful about my online presence and that of DD and future baby so put very little out there.
eta: correcting spacing issues
I don't really plan on saying anything to most people. I will tell a couple of very close friends probably over the phone. I'll probably just tell either my mom or sister. After that, everyone in my family will know shortly after. I'm thinking of letting people know around Thanksgiving or maybe Christmas.
How did you tell your partner?
I barely remember because I was truly shocked. But I called him and told him at work. I then took a picture of the tests and sent them to him.
Who will you tell next?
Probably mom or sister (see above)
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
I still haven't even had an appointment. I know that I'm pregnant, but it feels weird telling when I have no info. I'm also waiting until after the 1st trimester ends when the chances of miscarrying are down.
How and when are your telling those you work with?
My coworkers will find out when I'm showing. My co-teacher knows though. She caught me throwing up. I also sometimes leave the room to vomit.
Are you making a social media announcement?
No. Neither my husband nor myself does any real social media anymore.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Other than that, we are going to wait until possibly the anatomy scan like we did with our other pregnancies. There are two more coworkers in our office that don't know. But at the same time, it's a small government office in a small town so I'm sure that people will talk fast and soon. ugh.
How did you tell your partner? I told him we had to make a BDAY video for a family member and then instead said I was pregnant and gave him a little gift bag with baby stuff and the tests. He was so shocked I actually wish I had just taken the test with him there because I totally threw him off with that trick lol
I’ll wait a while to tell work, I want to go full time in January to qualify for maternity leave so I’m not sure when to tell them really...
We’ll do a social media announcement
We told our friends & family at my daughters birthday party 2 weeks ago. It went really well and everyone was excited. I guess my dad and SIL had a feeling already long before. More extended family and friends have found out through the holidays. More will find out over Christmas. Still debating on a social media post.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Then there's the fact that I have some uncertainty in my pregnancy in regards to the health of the baby (and had a previous loss most people don't know about), so it's all a huge emotionally charged situation. I don't like pretending everything is ok, and pretending things are normal, and pretending I'm not pregnant, when none of these things are true. It's not that I want to hide it so much as it's hard for me to talk about. I think I will post something online after I get amnio results and have a better idea of what we're in for. The anatomy scan will be about the same time soon so I should have a good ultrasound pic that actually looks like a baby to the untrained eye!
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
I wanted to post a bump photo on IG the other day but thought it would be out of place since I never even posted a pregnancy announcement on IG. In the end I decided against it, but then I keep second guessing that because I'm not exactly trying to hide anything either.
We announced on social media in mid-November. We're friends on SM with a lot of people that we don't see on a regular basis but still care about (college friends, extended family, friends from our previous church, etc.) and we wanted to share with all those people, but we wanted them to find out as directly as possible without hearing it through the grapevine or something.