Pregnancy Announcements: How and When to let the cat out of the bag! — The Bump
May 2020 Moms

Pregnancy Announcements: How and When to let the cat out of the bag!

pirateduckpirateduck
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member
edited September 10 in May 2020 Moms
How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?  
How did you tell your partner?
Who will you tell next?
Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
How and when are your telling those you work with?
Are you making an social media announcement?

We all have different ideas.  There is not right and wrong, there is only what is right for you and your partner.  Share your plans here.  Share the reactions (good and bad) that you get here.
m6agua
«1

Re: Pregnancy Announcements: How and When to let the cat out of the bag!

  • Awe...  @zaslawlz I'm glad you are being sensitive to your brother's wedding, that time is certainly about him.  You will have your time to shine soon, and it sounds as if some of the family will already know!
    heatherlynn321zaslawlz
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  • @JStill0603 I’m sorry that you are worried that not everyone will be as excited as you are.  However this is a very real concern and we must be prepared for less than ideal reactions.  I was once advised that if you give the news over the phone or in a text or something, that even though it’s less personal it gives the other person time to process it and shields you from a knee jerk negative reaction.  You can end your message with something like “call me when you want to talk about this” and let it be on their terms.  Not everyone will react how we expect, good and bad, but ultimately they care about you and will be supportive.
    mdfarmchick
  • @JStill0603 I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of that.  Your family decisions belong to you and YH and no one else.  But many people seem to forget that at times.
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    yodamama
  • @rachelg777 @pirateduck @shamrocandroll
    thank you for the support! Calling/texting my family might be a good idea even though it is less personal. I just think my sister was hurt by my moms reaction and I can’t imagine what she will think about us having another. I know I already have my hands full but I am so excited for DS to be a big brother and have a sibling who doesn’t leave every other weekend. We also live a rather comfortable life and if my parents are unable or unwilling to help with childcare, it won’t be an issue to obtain childcare elsewhere so I’m a little confused as to the judgement as well. I know once LO is here, everyone will be thrilled. 
    mdfarmchickrachelg777m6agua
  • @rox7777 Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for everything you're going through!  At the end of the day, you get to decide what's best for your family.  I'm sorry if other people you love don't see it that way.  I hope they come around to it.  

    @ruby696 Ahhhh PGAL romance, haha.  I've used up all my cute announcement ideas and have now resorted to waking him up with pee sticks at 6am.  :lol:  Also, I got a promotion right before announcing my maternity leave.  It shouldn't be a factor.  If you've earned it, then you've earned it!  It all worked out okay.  :)
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    ruby696rox7777kaitieb14
  • @shamrocandroll I still show him all my pee sticks. I get a, "that's a strong lookin line babe." And then we go about our business. 😆
    shamrocandroll
  • @rachelG777 I was lucky enough to get Mr. Mime and Kangaskhan from the last egg hatching event. It looks like there is another one now and you can get shiny's!

    @rox7777 @JStill0603 I hope you don't get any negative reactions, your family planning is not their decision!

    @ruby696 I actually hid the last couple pee sticks from DH because I didn't want him to think I was crazy!  :D Well he saw the trash, so now I showed him. I've taken 6 at home tests in the last 8 days.  :#

    @zaslawlz That is nice of you to be sensitive to your brother and his marriage. Last pregnancy I announced super late to be sensitive to a friend with a loss and another friend who announced.

    @yodamama That is so cute how excited YH is.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

    rachelg777rox7777ruby696
  • How and when do you plan to tell others you are pregnant?
    Well last night I sent DH to the store with both kids to buy pregnancy tests so it was very creative and romantic when I peed on a stick while both kids were playing in the bathroom. :D I texted my long distance bffs last night, and I’ve told one of my previous BMB since they knew we’ve been trying for a while. 
    I’ll tell my parents today probably on FaceTime with DD2 wearing a big brother shirt. I don’t want to tell my ILs yet. We’ll see how I feel in the next couple of days.

    How did you tell your partner? See above. 

    Who will you tell next?
    I don’t know. Probably my sisters, and some friends in person. I don’t really have a plan. I’ll tell the ILs either at a family wedding in October if we go or on FaceTime. 

    Why are you waiting or not waiting to tell?
    We want 3 or 4 and I have had a loss previously so I just am kind of taking this one as it goes. I’ll tell the people I want for support if something happens, and everyone else when the mood strikes. 

    How is and when are you telling those you work with?
    SAHM so yeah. 

    Are you making a social media announcement?
    Probably yes. Since our friends and family are scattered all over, we will probably do something around Christmas time. Maybe in November. Plus as the third kid, it seems rude to skip announcing them publicly. Lol. 
    m6aguarox7777laurasaurussLuLiLaEv
  • @JStill0603 exactly... once the baby is here, most people forget having opinions about whether you should or shouldn’t have another. 
  • How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?  I've already told my work bestie since we talk about everything and both of us were TTC at the same time.  We literally know each other's cycles so there was no way around that lol plus it's nice having a support person at work to whine to when needed.  Hopefully she gets a BFP soon so we can go through it together! I also told my parents and brother a few days after I found out.  I was spending the entire weekend with my mom and toddler and was already so exhausted.  We're pretty close and I felt like I was lying to her by not telling her and just would be more comfortable if she knew.  Plus she spoils me more when I'm pregnant by letting me sleep in and making me breakfast haha so that was a win my family is super excited for us
    How did you tell your partner? I had told him a few times that cycle that I really felt like it was the one and was having some symptoms so when I couldn't wait any longer and finally took a test (at 9DPO in the afternoon....) and it was positive I had to wait until my family left so I could tell him first.  I just said uh hey you know how I mentioned I thought I might be pregnant?  Well I peed on a stick and I am soooo.... and that was that.  We're pretty romantic.
    Who will you tell next? Either my good friend from high school or my mother in law.  MIL is super sweet but literally can't keep a secret for anything so I'm trying to wait to tell her until we're ready to tell everyone so she doesn't spill the beans and ruin our fun of getting to announce.  I'll be seeing my high school friend this weekend for my daughter's party so if we get a second alone I might go ahead and tell her.
    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? I always worry about everything going wrong so prefer to keep it under wraps until at least after 10-12 weeks depending on dr appointments and ultrasounds.
    How and when are your telling those you work with? I'll probably wait until 12 weeks.  I may tell my boss first or just bring in some food for the department with a cute little announcement left out with it.
    Are you making an social media announcement? Yea, I think we'll end up doing something around Halloween because that should be about 12 weeks.
    mdfarmchickkaitieb14LuLiLaEv
  • @bananapanda

    That's so true!  There are some people you cannot tell until you are ready to tell EVERYONE because they cannot keep a secret.  It's so much more fun to share the news yourself too, but again, they are just excited for you which is whey they have to tell you secret and tell EVERYONE.

    Last time I saw my SIL she started a conversation by saying, I know your mom wasn't supposed to tell me this, but...  (I really thought I was safe telling my mom a secret, there goes that idea!)
    mdfarmchick
  • @m6agua I am TOTALLY stealing that Pokemon Go egg idea! That is genius! My high school kids are obsessed with PoGo and they always rope my H into playing with them during breaks at marching band.

    How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? The only people who know so far are my previous BMB.

    How did you tell your partner? Two days before I actually tested, I told him I thought I was pregnant because of how I was feeling, so he knew it was coming. On the morning I tested, I handed him my pee stick while he was still lying in bed.

    Who will you tell next? Probably our families after our first ultrasound.

    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? With DD we waited till after our first US to tell our families and that was fine, so we're doing that again. Also (TW) I had a loss last cycle at 5w2d, so we really want to make sure everything is okay first.

    How and when are your telling those you work with? I have one coworker who is my work wife, so I'll probably end up telling her sooner rather than later. I will tell my principal toward the end of the first tri, probably after our 12/13 week US. I'll tell my students last, but around the same time. We have to be ready for it to be public before telling the students because they can't keep secrets.

    Are you making an social media announcement? Yes, probably around the beginning of November.
    mdfarmchickrox7777laurasaurussLuLiLaEv
  • @m6agua I love the Pokemon shirt idea. I have been staring at those shirts online for a while but didn't see a place that I felt comfortable buying one from. Not a bad idea to make one though! (My hubby and I are debating making Team Rocket costumes for Halloween). 
    m6agua
  • @pirateduck I really like the format of this thread you created!  Would you mind changing the title to "Pregnancy Announcements" and we can just keep this as our ongoing announcements thread?  Maybe add that people can share their announcements here if/when they wish.  That way people can find it easily and we don't end up with 100 one-off posts about announcing?  :)

    Sorry about being THAT person on the BMB.  I just love organization.  :lol:
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    ruby696soprano19mdfarmchickm6agua
  • @laurasauruss Bah-hahahaha!  Your reaction just made me legitimately LOL.  If this first part of that exclamation were true, then you wouldn't be in your current situation.  :lol:
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    ruby696rachelg777bananapandakaitieb14
  • @laurasauruss that’s hilarious. Also, weird, but my name is Laura and MH is David.  :D 
  • @laurasauruss I LOL’d hard at yours. I’m Laura as well. DH isn’t David though. 
    mdfarmchickkaitieb14
  • How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?  We’ve already told quite a few. It’s our first and we weren’t expecting it, but we are just too excited. I ended up telling a group of friends while at lunch because I got so nauseous and hot and sweaty. 
    How did you tell your partner? We were together when I tested. Took a cheap dollar store one. Then went out and got two more Clear Blue including a digital with weeks indicator. All positive!
    Who will you tell next?We are just playing it by ear. When we are with people and the mood strikes we will. Everyone who knows now are people we would turn to for support if needed.
    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?Not waiting really. But not calling people up at this point. Our family and close friends know.
    How and when are your telling those you work with? I had to tell Work right away as part of my job deals with xrays. So isn’t safe to keep it a secret. 
    Are you making an social media announcement? Not really involved with social media. 
    m6aguamdfarmchickLuLiLaEv
  • Pascal86Pascal86
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited September 12
    How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant? 
    I don't have a real plan - I like to wait until the end of the first trimester for most people. But last time (my second), I very unceremoniously told my parents around 7 weeks because I was so tired and couldn't handle a big announcement or keeping it a secret anymore. So that might happen again.
    ETA: I'm very excited for my kids to know, especially the 3yo, but want to wait until she either notices or I'm like 20 weeks along and have confirmed that things are going okay.

    How did you tell your partner?
    I made things very confusing for him by telling him after I'd gotten a very faint result that I might be pregnant. He was unclear what that meant, and several days later I said something about being pregnant, and he was like, "what?" So then I tried to explain that I was pregnant but didn't really want to count it until I officially missed my period and he got even more confused but said he was happy.

    Who will you tell next?
    I was really close to telling my coworker / boss this week, because I was traveling with them and they kept asking if I was okay. But I'd really like to wait until I'm at least 6 weeks before saying anything - I don't think I can keep it in the whole first trimester since I'm already feeling sick and have like 5 more trips to take with them in that time.

    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
    Because if it doesn't stick, I don't want to explain things to people. I honestly would like to tell my mom, but she weirdly had a really hard time keeping it a secret last time when I told her early, and kept making passive aggressive remarks like, "apparently I'm not allowed to tell anyone yet." Weird because she's a doctor and normally so good about keeping this stuff private, so I was really frustrated.

    How and when are your telling those you work with?
    I might tell the guys I travel with early (one of them is my boss), but honestly everyone else can just figure it out on their own.

    Are you making a social media announcement?
    No. Again, don't want to deal with the world knowing if things don't go well, but also I feel like it's a lot more fun to tell people in person.

    m6aguamdfarmchickLuLiLaEv
  • How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?  DH was actually the first to notice the faint positive line so he has known right from the start. The following day we went out of town to my parents house and so that morning I took another test to see if the line was any darker and it was, so we told my parents right away, they were very excited. My brother was in town so we also told him. 

    Who will you tell next? We aren't as close with DH's family so we will probably tell them in a few weeks. This weekend we will be spending some time with our close friends. My best girlfriend is due in January and so I am excited to tell her, we bought DD a big sister shirt she will wear to their house so we will see how long it takes for someone to notice. 

    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? We will wait to tell the whole world until I hit the second trimester. *TW* due to a previous loss we find it easier to not have to explain it to everyone and want it to be more private if something like that were to happen.

    Are you making an social media announcement? At the second trimester we will announce on social media after we have told all close family and friends. I'm thinking we will do something cute with pumpkins and DD. 
    mdfarmchicksoprano19LuLiLaEv
  • How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?
    I’m still processing it myself, so it’ll probably be awhile. Last pregnancy I didn’t tell anyone (besides H) until 17 weeks. 

    How did you tell your partner?
    After the kids went to bed we were sitting on the couch and I told him I had something to tell him and burst into tears and then couldn’t get another word out for a good 5 min. He just sat next to me saying “What is it? You’re worrying me. Can you just tell me? You’re starting to scare me.” So it was...memorable.


    Who will you tell next? 
    Family. Probably will wait until after I go to the doctor.

    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
    I am dreading telling my boss and co workers. I was just off from Feb-June of this year and my work is talking about extending maternity leave at my work to 6 months next year (which is awesome!) But I HATE that I feel guilty taking time off to be home with my baby. 
    Also, my sister is getting engaged very soon (he has the ring just hasn’t asked yet) and she was very excited that I would not be pregnant and would be able to be at the wedding the whole day and have fun in the wedding party so I’m worried this will put added stress on her when planning. (Even if I’m not pregnant I’ll likely have a breastfeeding infant so just more logistics to think about)

    How and when are you telling those you work with? I didn’t tell them until I was over 20 weeks last time, so it will be just as long this time. Ideally after Christmas/New Years if I can hide the bump that long. 

    Are you making an social media announcement?
    We probably won’t until after baby is born. I just feel like the people who I’m close to that I want to know will hear it in person and anyone else can find out after the birth. Also the less people annoyingly asking if baby is here yet at the end, the better. 
    m6aguaruby696mdfarmchickPascal86
  • How and when do you plan on telling others you are pregnant?
    I told my husband the day I got a positive. I've also told one close friend from college and two other friends who all had their first at the same time as me. All three of these women had babies this June. 
     
    How did you tell your partner? 
    Nothing dramatic, just that I was pregnant.

    Who will you tell next?
    My mom, probably. 

    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell?
    I'm not waiting to tell because they're all people I would tell if I had an MC. 

    How and when are your telling those you work with?
    I'll probably tell my boss between 8-12 weeks. We get two months paid leave but I have a secret hope that I can get a third...

    Are you making an social media announcement?
    Not sure. We did with our first but might not this time around. That being said, we don't live near a lot of our friends. Maybe I'll just put it on the note with our Christmas card. 
    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

    m6aguamdfarmchick
  • Pretty much everyone in my life knows that we've been doing IVF so there were a fair number of people waiting to hear from me last week when I got my initial bloodwork done. I got the call while sitting in a Panera, so I just sat there afterward and texted people.
     
    How did you tell your partner? He was the first text I sent while I was in the Panera trying not to cry happy tears into my soup!

    Who will you tell next? We are driving five hours tonight to tell my in-laws in person. Then my new boss when I start my new job Tuesday. 

    Why are you waiting (or not waiting) to tell? We wanted to tell the in-laws in person because my father in law is really ill and we wanted to brighten their day with more than just a text message. Aside from that....I had already maybe overshared about our IVF journey so there would be no point in not telling people IMO. :)

    How and when are your telling those you work with? Tuesday, my first day on a new job. I'm terrified, but it's an animal dental clinic and we take X-rays for every procedure, so it would be hard to not tell them.

    Are you making an social media announcement? I'm not on social media, so no.
    mdfarmchickruby696shamrocandroll
  • So far only my husband and two best friends know. We’ll likely be telling extended family sometime after 12-ish weeks. Not really sure when though. We enjoy having a fun little secret 😉 I won’t be announcing anything on social media. We didn’t announce on social media with our last baby and it was really nice getting to keep the experience to myself! So we'll most likely be keeping this pregnancy (baby#5) pretty low key again. 
    ruby696mdfarmchick
  • How did you tell your partner?
    We have two kids but I wasn't ready for them to know (secret Spillers!) so I bought a bandana for one of our dogs that says "big sister," since she's the youngest in the house.  It took him a minute, but I'm glad I surprised him this time.  

    Who will you tell next?
    That depends on whether hyperemesis plays a role again this time.  The plan is family and close friends after my first appt at 9 weeks.  If I start getting sick 20 times a day like last time, that date will obviously need to be moved up. 

    Why are you waiting (or not):
      I got so sick of the hundreds of questions and advice from friends and family in my previous pregnancies. I'd love to just have those conversations with my husband for a while. Additionally, after a chemical pregnancy this summer, I'm just not ready to announce until I hear a heartbeat. 

    How and when are your telling those you work with? Not sure. 

    Are you making an social media announcement? Sure, but I'm not sure when. 
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