August 2012 Moms
cflorida10
member
To Procreate Again or Not - That Is The Question.
cflorida10
member
Our daughter just turned 7. She is a beautiful, happy, easy child, just as she was a beautiful, happy, easy baby. She slept through the night at six weeks old. She didn't throw tantrums as a toddler. Her teachers from preschool through now, second grade, all give glowing reviews. She is so well behaved and such a good listener, it honestly worries me. I have to actively teach her to question authority. She has made parenting easy when I was sure it would be a battlefield.
My husband and I got pregnant unexpectedly in college, and became parents at the ripe age of 21. We were struggling to finish school and build a foundation for our new family. So it's not like this was all a breeze, but I honestly had an angel baby on my hands.
We graduated, moved halfway across the country, got good jobs, bought a house and annual passes to Disney World, and have achieved a level of content I could not have dreamed up when I was 20 and pregnant (high-risk and bed ridden) with a guy I had only been dating for a matter of months.
So, with that backstory, I (think?) I really want another baby, my husband not so much, and I'm panicking. Just sheer panic. Sometimes I think it would disrupt our lives too much. Sometimes I think the age gap is insurmountable and the kids would never be close. Sometimes I think I just want a baby for all the selfish reasons. I feel like I am running out of time to make the decision and I need someone to tell me what I should do.
Because I was 20 and in school, I never felt like I was allowed to be excited about being pregnant. Because I was on bed rest, I lived with my parents during most of my pregnancy while my husband stayed at our University, and I never got to decorate a nursery.
Is part of my desire for a second kid just that I envisioned my life to go one way and it didn't and now I want to recreate the experience? Or because when I went outside, I got dirty looks and comments because I looked like a teen mom? Or because I have a big family and love my sisters (and I guess brothers) so much, that I have this desire to give my daughter everything that I think she needs, which to me includes a sibling to walk through life with? (Side note: my husband is an only child and doesn't feel the way I do about siblings...)
I'm 28 and it's not like I need to decide right this second, but I don't want to be 40 and have a 19-year-old and a seven-year-old. I want the age gap to feel manageable to me.
Can someone comment and be my therapist here because mine hasn't been very helpful on this issue.
My husband and I got pregnant unexpectedly in college, and became parents at the ripe age of 21. We were struggling to finish school and build a foundation for our new family. So it's not like this was all a breeze, but I honestly had an angel baby on my hands.
We graduated, moved halfway across the country, got good jobs, bought a house and annual passes to Disney World, and have achieved a level of content I could not have dreamed up when I was 20 and pregnant (high-risk and bed ridden) with a guy I had only been dating for a matter of months.
So, with that backstory, I (think?) I really want another baby, my husband not so much, and I'm panicking. Just sheer panic. Sometimes I think it would disrupt our lives too much. Sometimes I think the age gap is insurmountable and the kids would never be close. Sometimes I think I just want a baby for all the selfish reasons. I feel like I am running out of time to make the decision and I need someone to tell me what I should do.
Because I was 20 and in school, I never felt like I was allowed to be excited about being pregnant. Because I was on bed rest, I lived with my parents during most of my pregnancy while my husband stayed at our University, and I never got to decorate a nursery.
Is part of my desire for a second kid just that I envisioned my life to go one way and it didn't and now I want to recreate the experience? Or because when I went outside, I got dirty looks and comments because I looked like a teen mom? Or because I have a big family and love my sisters (and I guess brothers) so much, that I have this desire to give my daughter everything that I think she needs, which to me includes a sibling to walk through life with? (Side note: my husband is an only child and doesn't feel the way I do about siblings...)
I'm 28 and it's not like I need to decide right this second, but I don't want to be 40 and have a 19-year-old and a seven-year-old. I want the age gap to feel manageable to me.
Can someone comment and be my therapist here because mine hasn't been very helpful on this issue.