To Procreate Again or Not - That Is The Question. — The Bump
August 2012 Moms

To Procreate Again or Not - That Is The Question.

Our daughter just turned 7. She is a beautiful, happy, easy child, just as she was a beautiful, happy, easy baby. She slept through the night at six weeks old. She didn't throw tantrums as a toddler. Her teachers from preschool through now, second grade, all give glowing reviews. She is so well behaved and such a good listener, it honestly worries me. I have to actively teach her to question authority. She has made parenting easy when I was sure it would be a battlefield.

My husband and I got pregnant unexpectedly in college, and became parents at the ripe age of 21. We were struggling to finish school and build a foundation for our new family. So it's not like this was all a breeze, but I honestly had an angel baby on my hands. 

We graduated, moved halfway across the country, got good jobs, bought a house and annual passes to Disney World, and have achieved a level of content I could not have dreamed up when I was 20 and pregnant (high-risk and bed ridden) with a guy I had only been dating for a matter of months.

So, with that backstory, I (think?) I really want another baby, my husband not so much, and I'm panicking. Just sheer panic. Sometimes I think it would disrupt our lives too much. Sometimes I think the age gap is insurmountable and the kids would never be close. Sometimes I think I just want a baby for all the selfish reasons. I feel like I am running out of time to make the decision and I need someone to tell me what I should do.

Because I was 20 and in school, I never felt like I was allowed to be excited about being pregnant. Because I was on bed rest, I lived with my parents during most of my pregnancy while my husband stayed at our University, and I never got to decorate a nursery.

Is part of my desire for a second kid just that I envisioned my life to go one way and it didn't and now I want to recreate the experience? Or because when I went outside, I got dirty looks and comments because I looked like a teen mom? Or because I have a big family and love my sisters (and I guess brothers) so much, that I have this desire to give my daughter everything that I think she needs, which to me includes a sibling to walk through life with? (Side note: my husband is an only child and doesn't feel the way I do about siblings...)

I'm 28 and it's not like I need to decide right this second, but I don't want to be 40 and have a 19-year-old and a seven-year-old. I want the age gap to feel manageable to me.

Can someone comment and be my therapist here because mine hasn't been very helpful on this issue.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards